DOI Heft:
June 8, 1861
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16867#0238
[June 8 1861
Thursday. The Paper-Galway battle was renewed, and raged
throughout the night. But in the meantime the most remarkable
legends were flying about. It w,as said that all the Irish Members
were going over to the Conservatives. It was said that all the Irish
Members had been going over to the Conservatives, but that Lord
Palmerston had bought Ireland back at the price of £36,000, or half
the Contract Money. The speeches in the House bore a good deal
upon these legends. Lord John Russell was indignantly virtuous,
and declared that it were better Ten Ministries should perish than that
statesmanship should be sullied by any disgraceful traffic. Lord
Palmerston gave a ludicrous account of a priest, called Father
Daly, coming to him to try to intimidate him by saying, in the Irish
language, that the Mimbers must take action. Lord Palmerston
was too many for the artful priest, whose tumble was ignominious, and
who was repudiated by the Mimbers themselves. Well, after all the
virtue, and indignation, and repudiation, and all the rest of it, the
division was called, and the result was—For Government and Virtue,
29G; for Mr. Disraeli and Ireland, 281: Majority for keeping Pam
and the Parliament, 15. But it was a close squeak, brethren. And
what do you think? Punch, of course, disbelieves that any bargain
was made by Government. But Punch will not exactly fall down flat
in hysterical astonishment if he should hear, one of these days, of a
Committee, or a Commission, or a something, to ascertain whether
Justice to Oireland cannot be done in this Galway matter. Eh?
Twig ?
Friday. A wretched'y ■weak attempt at defending the Duke oe \
Cambridge’s wretchedly absurd appointment of General Eden to the
Colonelcy of the “dirty half hundredth” was made by three foolish
Officers, whose Royal patron will hardly thank them for their blunder-
ing. The rest of the Parliamentary proceedings have been totally unin-
teresling, or, if there he any diamonds hidden in the chaff of the
Lords and Commons, Mr. Punch has no intention of stopping to pick
them out, having an engagement at the Crystal Palace, where tire
respectable Blondin is about to risk his neck for the first, time in
England. A confiding country knows, however, that if there were
really anything to record, Mr. Punch would not let twenty Blondins
drag him away by twenty ropes from duty, not even if there were a
certainty of the twenty Blondins breaking all their twenty necks.
COMMERCIAL INTELLIGENCE.
onsieur Blondin has re-
moved his celebrated
Rope-Walk from Nia-
gara to the Crystal
Palace. The share-
holders are in the
highest, elevation. The
shares are almost be-
ginning to look up.
The public curiosity
is in the highest state
of tension. Subscri-
bers even, who, as a
class, can never, it is
well known, have too
much for their money,
are beginning to ex-
press their gratitude.
We doubt not, every
time that Blondin
performs, but that
the performance will
be marked in their
memory, as the clas-
sics would say, “ with
a white chalk.” The
shareholders, also, who, like all shareholders who do not receive 85 per
cent, for their money, are notoriously a grumbling set, excuse the
“chalk” for the sake of the ready money they are sure to get. As
geologists, well acquainted with deposits of every kind, they will tell
you that it is not always that gold is to be got out of the chalk forma-
tion; t hough at, billiards, it is true, it does occasionally come largely
into play, especially when the chalk falls into the hands of such a
player as Roberts. For the first time they begin to consider their
investments in Crystal Palace shares as not such a Cretan labyrinth
as they have hitherto done. In their exultation, they even go so far
as to say, that they look upon Blondin as “ the most rising man
of the present day”—even greatly beyond Lord Robert Cecil.
In their sanguine expectations, we must say that these excited
shareholders are scarcely just to his Lordship; for in our mind
we had imagined that Lord Robert Cecil had already reached
the very summit of absurdity, beyond which no man could possibly
further go.
,sr-
A NEW COMEDY OE ERRORS.
People who pay taxes, and are sometimes heard to wonder how the
public money goes, may receive at least enlightenment, if they may not
satisfaction, from the following short statement which has been lately
put in print:—
“ The Dockyard Commission reports the discovery of 7,906 errors in the accounts
of Woolwich Dockyard alone, from April 1 to November 30, 1360: errors in rating,
valuing, totalling, proving and postiug, ranging from pence and shillings to hun-
dreds of pounds—the omission of an entry for £4,480, and the charging twice of a
sum of £1,000 to £1,200 per annum for the time of certain workmen.”
As accidents will happen in the best regulated families, so errors
will creep into the most carefully kept account-books. But it surely
is above the usual average in business to have eight thousand entries
wrong within six months. The feat of counting-house gymnastics,
which is known commercially as “balancing the books,” can have
seldom been performed in the establishment at Woolwich, if what has
lately been discovered be taken as a sample of the way the work is
done there. At figuring the clerks must cut a pretty figure, when
entries for some thousands are omitted from their ledgers, and other
sums charged t wice without the fault being found out. Book-keeping
by double-shuffle entry one might call it, if there were reason to sup-
pose that any cheating was intended, which however we will charitably
believe that there was not. As language is made use of to conceal the
thoughts, so figures may in some hands serve to hide what they should
show. “ Errors Excepted ” should he written at the foot of all
accounts at such establishments as Woolwich, and when the Naval
Estimates are debated before Parliament, every Member who may vote
should ask to have an estimate of how many omissions there may be in
what is shown.
Government clerks, we know, are sadly overworked; but as tax.
payers we feel we have a right to make request that means should be
devised for the protection of our pockets from the dips which must be
made in them by incorrect accounts. There should certainly be some
one to overhaul the cash-books, and be himself hauled over if he let
pass a mistake. The notion of there being nearly eight thousand
omissions and mistakes within six months is almost comical enough to
make one fairly laugh at it, if it were not for the fact that one’s
laughter would most probably be at one’s own expense. The Comedy
of Errors which has been performed at Woolwich would be farcical
enough if we bad not to bear the cost of it; but as it is, if one is
tempted to get up a giggle, one feels that one is laughing on the wrong
side of one’s mouth. We wonder how many of the clerks who assisted
in the making of the eight thousand mistakes have passed competitive
examinations to test them for their posts. Erom the talent tor arith-
metic which these disclosures have betrayed in them, we should think
they would be plucked if they were asked what two and two make.
Of course we don’t wish to be cruel, and deprive them of their berths,
although their berths may be the death of all our hopes for a less
Income-Tax; but clearly Mr. Bull should keep a closer eye to the
keeping of his books, if only to sustain the credit of the nat.ioD, which
has earned the name of being a nation of bookkeepers. When Mr.
Bull is made a bankrupt (a contingency which, owing to the dropping
of the Paper Duty, is prophesied as being by no means far remote) he
eertainly can’t hope to get a first class certificate, if his accounts are
so defective as those at his establishment at Woolwich have been
proved.
SONG TO THE SPEAKER.
On. the Eve of the Perhy.
BY THE NOELE LORD AT THE HEAD OF HER MAJESTY’S GOVERNMENT.
Adjourn, adjourn, till Thursday next,
I move this House adjourn,
Why should I say ou what pretext?
This House needs not to learn:
Adjourn! Adjourn!
Adjourn! adjourn! This House my cry
Doth generally concern;
The whole House knows the reason why
I rise to sing adjourn,
Adjourn! Adjourn!
Medical Reform.
We take the liberty of asking Apothecaries’ Hall—or, more properly
speaking, we pay them the compliment of putting to them—the
following question, which, we hope, they will not absurdly consider in
the light of “throwing physic to the dogs”: Since Quinine is made
from Bark, would it not sound better, and the meaning of it be more
sound altogether, to call it “ Canine ? ” An answer, in the shape of
an amended label, will oblige.
Thursday. The Paper-Galway battle was renewed, and raged
throughout the night. But in the meantime the most remarkable
legends were flying about. It w,as said that all the Irish Members
were going over to the Conservatives. It was said that all the Irish
Members had been going over to the Conservatives, but that Lord
Palmerston had bought Ireland back at the price of £36,000, or half
the Contract Money. The speeches in the House bore a good deal
upon these legends. Lord John Russell was indignantly virtuous,
and declared that it were better Ten Ministries should perish than that
statesmanship should be sullied by any disgraceful traffic. Lord
Palmerston gave a ludicrous account of a priest, called Father
Daly, coming to him to try to intimidate him by saying, in the Irish
language, that the Mimbers must take action. Lord Palmerston
was too many for the artful priest, whose tumble was ignominious, and
who was repudiated by the Mimbers themselves. Well, after all the
virtue, and indignation, and repudiation, and all the rest of it, the
division was called, and the result was—For Government and Virtue,
29G; for Mr. Disraeli and Ireland, 281: Majority for keeping Pam
and the Parliament, 15. But it was a close squeak, brethren. And
what do you think? Punch, of course, disbelieves that any bargain
was made by Government. But Punch will not exactly fall down flat
in hysterical astonishment if he should hear, one of these days, of a
Committee, or a Commission, or a something, to ascertain whether
Justice to Oireland cannot be done in this Galway matter. Eh?
Twig ?
Friday. A wretched'y ■weak attempt at defending the Duke oe \
Cambridge’s wretchedly absurd appointment of General Eden to the
Colonelcy of the “dirty half hundredth” was made by three foolish
Officers, whose Royal patron will hardly thank them for their blunder-
ing. The rest of the Parliamentary proceedings have been totally unin-
teresling, or, if there he any diamonds hidden in the chaff of the
Lords and Commons, Mr. Punch has no intention of stopping to pick
them out, having an engagement at the Crystal Palace, where tire
respectable Blondin is about to risk his neck for the first, time in
England. A confiding country knows, however, that if there were
really anything to record, Mr. Punch would not let twenty Blondins
drag him away by twenty ropes from duty, not even if there were a
certainty of the twenty Blondins breaking all their twenty necks.
COMMERCIAL INTELLIGENCE.
onsieur Blondin has re-
moved his celebrated
Rope-Walk from Nia-
gara to the Crystal
Palace. The share-
holders are in the
highest, elevation. The
shares are almost be-
ginning to look up.
The public curiosity
is in the highest state
of tension. Subscri-
bers even, who, as a
class, can never, it is
well known, have too
much for their money,
are beginning to ex-
press their gratitude.
We doubt not, every
time that Blondin
performs, but that
the performance will
be marked in their
memory, as the clas-
sics would say, “ with
a white chalk.” The
shareholders, also, who, like all shareholders who do not receive 85 per
cent, for their money, are notoriously a grumbling set, excuse the
“chalk” for the sake of the ready money they are sure to get. As
geologists, well acquainted with deposits of every kind, they will tell
you that it is not always that gold is to be got out of the chalk forma-
tion; t hough at, billiards, it is true, it does occasionally come largely
into play, especially when the chalk falls into the hands of such a
player as Roberts. For the first time they begin to consider their
investments in Crystal Palace shares as not such a Cretan labyrinth
as they have hitherto done. In their exultation, they even go so far
as to say, that they look upon Blondin as “ the most rising man
of the present day”—even greatly beyond Lord Robert Cecil.
In their sanguine expectations, we must say that these excited
shareholders are scarcely just to his Lordship; for in our mind
we had imagined that Lord Robert Cecil had already reached
the very summit of absurdity, beyond which no man could possibly
further go.
,sr-
A NEW COMEDY OE ERRORS.
People who pay taxes, and are sometimes heard to wonder how the
public money goes, may receive at least enlightenment, if they may not
satisfaction, from the following short statement which has been lately
put in print:—
“ The Dockyard Commission reports the discovery of 7,906 errors in the accounts
of Woolwich Dockyard alone, from April 1 to November 30, 1360: errors in rating,
valuing, totalling, proving and postiug, ranging from pence and shillings to hun-
dreds of pounds—the omission of an entry for £4,480, and the charging twice of a
sum of £1,000 to £1,200 per annum for the time of certain workmen.”
As accidents will happen in the best regulated families, so errors
will creep into the most carefully kept account-books. But it surely
is above the usual average in business to have eight thousand entries
wrong within six months. The feat of counting-house gymnastics,
which is known commercially as “balancing the books,” can have
seldom been performed in the establishment at Woolwich, if what has
lately been discovered be taken as a sample of the way the work is
done there. At figuring the clerks must cut a pretty figure, when
entries for some thousands are omitted from their ledgers, and other
sums charged t wice without the fault being found out. Book-keeping
by double-shuffle entry one might call it, if there were reason to sup-
pose that any cheating was intended, which however we will charitably
believe that there was not. As language is made use of to conceal the
thoughts, so figures may in some hands serve to hide what they should
show. “ Errors Excepted ” should he written at the foot of all
accounts at such establishments as Woolwich, and when the Naval
Estimates are debated before Parliament, every Member who may vote
should ask to have an estimate of how many omissions there may be in
what is shown.
Government clerks, we know, are sadly overworked; but as tax.
payers we feel we have a right to make request that means should be
devised for the protection of our pockets from the dips which must be
made in them by incorrect accounts. There should certainly be some
one to overhaul the cash-books, and be himself hauled over if he let
pass a mistake. The notion of there being nearly eight thousand
omissions and mistakes within six months is almost comical enough to
make one fairly laugh at it, if it were not for the fact that one’s
laughter would most probably be at one’s own expense. The Comedy
of Errors which has been performed at Woolwich would be farcical
enough if we bad not to bear the cost of it; but as it is, if one is
tempted to get up a giggle, one feels that one is laughing on the wrong
side of one’s mouth. We wonder how many of the clerks who assisted
in the making of the eight thousand mistakes have passed competitive
examinations to test them for their posts. Erom the talent tor arith-
metic which these disclosures have betrayed in them, we should think
they would be plucked if they were asked what two and two make.
Of course we don’t wish to be cruel, and deprive them of their berths,
although their berths may be the death of all our hopes for a less
Income-Tax; but clearly Mr. Bull should keep a closer eye to the
keeping of his books, if only to sustain the credit of the nat.ioD, which
has earned the name of being a nation of bookkeepers. When Mr.
Bull is made a bankrupt (a contingency which, owing to the dropping
of the Paper Duty, is prophesied as being by no means far remote) he
eertainly can’t hope to get a first class certificate, if his accounts are
so defective as those at his establishment at Woolwich have been
proved.
SONG TO THE SPEAKER.
On. the Eve of the Perhy.
BY THE NOELE LORD AT THE HEAD OF HER MAJESTY’S GOVERNMENT.
Adjourn, adjourn, till Thursday next,
I move this House adjourn,
Why should I say ou what pretext?
This House needs not to learn:
Adjourn! Adjourn!
Adjourn! adjourn! This House my cry
Doth generally concern;
The whole House knows the reason why
I rise to sing adjourn,
Adjourn! Adjourn!
Medical Reform.
We take the liberty of asking Apothecaries’ Hall—or, more properly
speaking, we pay them the compliment of putting to them—the
following question, which, we hope, they will not absurdly consider in
the light of “throwing physic to the dogs”: Since Quinine is made
from Bark, would it not sound better, and the meaning of it be more
sound altogether, to call it “ Canine ? ” An answer, in the shape of
an amended label, will oblige.