DOI issue:
June 8, 1861
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16867#0240
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
009
[June 8, 1861.
A SKETCH ON THE DOWNS.
Jolly Post-Boy of the Period. “ I say, Bill, don’t yer wish it was Darby Day all the Year round ? ”
THE PROFITABLE VALUE
OF DELAY.
Granting that “Time is money,”
if yon gain time, then you gain
so much money. Hence, the inter-
est of the Government in refusing
to pay the Delhi prize-money, may
be to pocket the interest that has
been accruing during this protrac-
ted delay, for Sir C. Wood has
deliberately stated in the House
that, no matter when the prize-
money is paid, no interest will be
paid with it.
The delay is most shameful.
We do not see why the poor
soldiers, because they bravely with-
stood the Delhi siege, should be
cruelly exposed to another — for
cannot these frequent postpone-
ments be called, without torturing
the word too much, a downright
Siege of Delay — that may be
purposely carried on, with the
secret intention that when it is
finished, there may not be a
single survivor left, not even an
executor, to claim anything. We
agree with the claimants in pro-
nouncing every explanation, that j
pretends to account, for this unjus- j
tillable procrastination as “a regu-
lar put off.” It is but right that
our Government should place great
trust in the British Soldier, but it
is too bad to expect the British
soldier to give them four years’
credit, aud not to expect a farthing
of iuterest for the trust so long
reposed.
CLAY IN PAPER.
Mr. Frederick Penny, Proressor of Chemistry at the Glasgow
University, writes to the Times to say that he has discovered “ a very
considerable quantity of fine white clay amounting, in some instances,
to 30 per cent, in foreign papers.” We have no hesitation in stating
that, on several occasions, we ourselves have found a large quantity of
mud of a very dark colour in the Univers, which it took apparently a
malicious pleasure in flinging in handfuls at England, and it is well
known that many other foreign papers have so much dirt in their com-
position that one cannot take them up without serious detriment to
one’s fingers, thereby proving how much of the soil there is in them.
We are bound to confess, however, that the only real discovery of clay
that we ever made in a paper was on the 20th of May, when we fell
over an article in the Times that was based upon nothing else ; for it
was signed “C. M. Clay,” who it seems, is the “United States’
Minister Plenipotentiary, &c. &c. to St. Petersburgh.” This Clay,
though of a very heavy nature, did not absorb much of the public
attention, and we ourselves found it no small difficulty to wade through
it. The great pull of this Clay appeared to be to puff the Northern
States of America, but nothing but smoke came out of the puffing.
This is the only evidence of Clay that we have discovered in paper,
and we must say, from that specimen, that we have no particular
desire to find any more. However, we should like Professor Penny
to pursue his interesting discoveries, and accordingly we have sent him
a copy of the Morning'Tizer, if he would only be kind enough to
analyse it for us. We have no doubt he will find it to contain a large
proportion of a white clay of a very porous nature—the clay, in fact,
that pipes are made of, and which is also known to be favourable to
the cultivation of tobacco. We have not troubled Mr. Penny with
the Tablet, another favourite paper of ours, inasmuch as we know, from
experience, that though that paper has a certain proportion of Clay in
its composition, such as is used in Roman cement, yet in all other
respects it is a complete drug, being full of nothing but Jesuit’s Bark,
such as no one thinks of paying the smallest attention to, unless the
poor patient, who takes it in, happens to have a raging Scarlet fever
upon him.
Not far Wrong.—By a typographical blunder in a provincial con-
temporary, the United States were called “the Untied States.”
VOCAL MILITARY MUSIC.
The "Volunteer movement is in some measure a musical one. It
bids fair, at least, to introduce a new feature into military music.
A contemporary publishes the ensuing pleasant piece of news :—
“The 3rd City of London Volunteers.—On Saturday evening last about 200
members of this corps, under the command of Major Richards, had a march out
as far as Netting Hill, accompanied by their bands A novel feature in the return
march was some admirable chorus singing in the ranks, which had a fine effect.”
Some old gentlemen ot the Army may be prodigiously shocked by the
innovation of chorus-singing in the ranks of the Volunteers; but if
instrumental music is soldierly, what else is vocal? The former is
acknowledged to have its martial uses, aud the latter must have at
least the same; so that their union will necessarily produce a double,
if not more than a double, effect. The natives of this island may as
well have their war-songs as the inhabitants of less civilised portions
of the globe, provided of course that the songs are proper for intelligent
aud educated beings to sing. If the voluntary forces take to singing,
there can be no reason why the regular troops should not follow
their example, and become volunteers too, so far as volunteering to
oblige the public with songs. The gaiety of the soldier’s life would he
much heightened if every company were to become a chorus, and each
regiment, on its route, were to march along smging, for example
“ A very good song, and very well sung,
Jolly battalions every one.”
They would kick up a glorious row, to be sure; for the British
soldier uever did yet, aud we trust never will, sing small.
A Legal Judgment.
Be quick in all your actions, and prompt in your service. Whatever
you execute, let the execution take place on the spot,. You must be
nimble of apprehension, or else many a fine capture will assuredly slip
through your fingers. Take warning from the Court of Chancery.
Think of the delays for which it is notoriously guilty—calculate, if you
can, the enormous sums that have been lost iu consequence ot those
delays; and all owing to its extreme slowness of decision.—Lord Chan-
cellar Punch
009
[June 8, 1861.
A SKETCH ON THE DOWNS.
Jolly Post-Boy of the Period. “ I say, Bill, don’t yer wish it was Darby Day all the Year round ? ”
THE PROFITABLE VALUE
OF DELAY.
Granting that “Time is money,”
if yon gain time, then you gain
so much money. Hence, the inter-
est of the Government in refusing
to pay the Delhi prize-money, may
be to pocket the interest that has
been accruing during this protrac-
ted delay, for Sir C. Wood has
deliberately stated in the House
that, no matter when the prize-
money is paid, no interest will be
paid with it.
The delay is most shameful.
We do not see why the poor
soldiers, because they bravely with-
stood the Delhi siege, should be
cruelly exposed to another — for
cannot these frequent postpone-
ments be called, without torturing
the word too much, a downright
Siege of Delay — that may be
purposely carried on, with the
secret intention that when it is
finished, there may not be a
single survivor left, not even an
executor, to claim anything. We
agree with the claimants in pro-
nouncing every explanation, that j
pretends to account, for this unjus- j
tillable procrastination as “a regu-
lar put off.” It is but right that
our Government should place great
trust in the British Soldier, but it
is too bad to expect the British
soldier to give them four years’
credit, aud not to expect a farthing
of iuterest for the trust so long
reposed.
CLAY IN PAPER.
Mr. Frederick Penny, Proressor of Chemistry at the Glasgow
University, writes to the Times to say that he has discovered “ a very
considerable quantity of fine white clay amounting, in some instances,
to 30 per cent, in foreign papers.” We have no hesitation in stating
that, on several occasions, we ourselves have found a large quantity of
mud of a very dark colour in the Univers, which it took apparently a
malicious pleasure in flinging in handfuls at England, and it is well
known that many other foreign papers have so much dirt in their com-
position that one cannot take them up without serious detriment to
one’s fingers, thereby proving how much of the soil there is in them.
We are bound to confess, however, that the only real discovery of clay
that we ever made in a paper was on the 20th of May, when we fell
over an article in the Times that was based upon nothing else ; for it
was signed “C. M. Clay,” who it seems, is the “United States’
Minister Plenipotentiary, &c. &c. to St. Petersburgh.” This Clay,
though of a very heavy nature, did not absorb much of the public
attention, and we ourselves found it no small difficulty to wade through
it. The great pull of this Clay appeared to be to puff the Northern
States of America, but nothing but smoke came out of the puffing.
This is the only evidence of Clay that we have discovered in paper,
and we must say, from that specimen, that we have no particular
desire to find any more. However, we should like Professor Penny
to pursue his interesting discoveries, and accordingly we have sent him
a copy of the Morning'Tizer, if he would only be kind enough to
analyse it for us. We have no doubt he will find it to contain a large
proportion of a white clay of a very porous nature—the clay, in fact,
that pipes are made of, and which is also known to be favourable to
the cultivation of tobacco. We have not troubled Mr. Penny with
the Tablet, another favourite paper of ours, inasmuch as we know, from
experience, that though that paper has a certain proportion of Clay in
its composition, such as is used in Roman cement, yet in all other
respects it is a complete drug, being full of nothing but Jesuit’s Bark,
such as no one thinks of paying the smallest attention to, unless the
poor patient, who takes it in, happens to have a raging Scarlet fever
upon him.
Not far Wrong.—By a typographical blunder in a provincial con-
temporary, the United States were called “the Untied States.”
VOCAL MILITARY MUSIC.
The "Volunteer movement is in some measure a musical one. It
bids fair, at least, to introduce a new feature into military music.
A contemporary publishes the ensuing pleasant piece of news :—
“The 3rd City of London Volunteers.—On Saturday evening last about 200
members of this corps, under the command of Major Richards, had a march out
as far as Netting Hill, accompanied by their bands A novel feature in the return
march was some admirable chorus singing in the ranks, which had a fine effect.”
Some old gentlemen ot the Army may be prodigiously shocked by the
innovation of chorus-singing in the ranks of the Volunteers; but if
instrumental music is soldierly, what else is vocal? The former is
acknowledged to have its martial uses, aud the latter must have at
least the same; so that their union will necessarily produce a double,
if not more than a double, effect. The natives of this island may as
well have their war-songs as the inhabitants of less civilised portions
of the globe, provided of course that the songs are proper for intelligent
aud educated beings to sing. If the voluntary forces take to singing,
there can be no reason why the regular troops should not follow
their example, and become volunteers too, so far as volunteering to
oblige the public with songs. The gaiety of the soldier’s life would he
much heightened if every company were to become a chorus, and each
regiment, on its route, were to march along smging, for example
“ A very good song, and very well sung,
Jolly battalions every one.”
They would kick up a glorious row, to be sure; for the British
soldier uever did yet, aud we trust never will, sing small.
A Legal Judgment.
Be quick in all your actions, and prompt in your service. Whatever
you execute, let the execution take place on the spot,. You must be
nimble of apprehension, or else many a fine capture will assuredly slip
through your fingers. Take warning from the Court of Chancery.
Think of the delays for which it is notoriously guilty—calculate, if you
can, the enormous sums that have been lost iu consequence ot those
delays; and all owing to its extreme slowness of decision.—Lord Chan-
cellar Punch