DOI Heft:
June 15, 1861
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16867#0248
1
[June 15, 1861.
240
PUNCH,
OR
THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
DOUBTFUL.
Unsophisticated Friend. “ Well, look here, I'm not a Setting Man
myself, but to oblige you, I don't mind putting a Monkey on the 1 Drum'
for the' Leger."
PUNCH’S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
June 3, Monday. The House of Lords, for some reason, always
assumes special care of Ireland, a fact, which may accouni, for a few of
the curiosities of Irish political and domestic economy. To-night
their lordships had a debate on the Galway Packet business, Lord
Normanby opening the game, as at chess a feeble pawn makes way
for a knight and bishop. What Normanby said, is, of course, of no
consequence, except as additional evidence of his fatuity. He was
sense-abandoned enough to try a weak taunt ar, the “ inconsistency ” of
some of his former colleagues. This from Normanby, who in other
days was a silver-fork Liberal, wh> was called by O’Connell the
“unparalleled Normanby,” and who went about as the sort of Pretty
Boy of the Melbourne administration delivering gaols, pardoning
political offenders, and generally doing the Liberal sentimentalibus,
and who in his late days became courtier to the Italian despots and
advocate in chief against the King of Italy and Garibaldi. It was
not in human nature, even in that of the good-natured Granville, not
to give the vane old weathercock a spin for this. The Packet question
was discussed, as was the much more important question whether the
Irish Members had “taken action” upon the subject. On looking to
the division-list Mr. Punch observes that out of the 105 Irish repre-
sentatives, 73 voted against Government on the Paper-duty Bill, and
8 of these had previously voted on the other side. Whereby it is clear
that the Screw has been put on in Ireland, only of course, being an
Irish screw, it turned the wrong way, and there has been only a
scandal and a smash. Lord Granville stated that Government had
not come to a decision as to the advisability of a line of Packet service
from Galway to America. What did Mr. Punch vaticinate last week?
The next step will show how Government proposes to arrive at that
decision. Lord Eglinton was rather tournamenty, and said that
even if the Tories had given the Galway contractors a job, it was not so
bad as the conduct of the Liberals in throwing away the Paper Duty
to please the penny papers and Mr. Bright. Lord Clanricarde
thought the Irish Members were not such “fools ” as to suppose that
tney could coerce Lord Palmerston. The Postmaster-General
defended the repudiation of the Contract, and declared that the
Galway Company had done nothing in accordance with their agree-
ments, and would not even propose terms by which they would consent
to tie finally bound. Lord Brougham, thought that, Father Daly
ought to be brought to the bar of the Commons, to declare whether the
Irish Members had sent him to make a bargain with the Minister. So
ended the discussion, for Normandy, having moved for papers which
did not exist, obligingly expressed his willingness not to press for them.
The Paper-Duty Abolition Bill passed the Commons, amid cheering
from the Liberals. Mr. Punch, with incalculable generosity, instantly
trebled the Salaries of all his Young Men, from Wiiewell down to
the Wiscount, but, with inconceivable sagacity, made the new arrange
ment commence from the day the Lords should read the Bill the
Second Time. This amiable device ensured the zeal of all his Disin-
terested Young Patriots in urging the measure through the Upper
House.
Among matters hardly worth mention was a statement of Sir
Charles Wood that there was an Indian Deficit of Two Millions, so
lie would just ask for Four, but should want some more by-and-by for
Railways. Lt was voted, of course. Mr. Cowpbr officially announced
that the Mangle-Wurzle lot are to show their fat, beasts and fizz-
ploughs in the Regent’s Park. Mr. Punch only hopes that the pro-
vincial dialects will not be very offensive to Mr. Sclater’s fashionable
animals at the Z. In answer to Mr. Tom Duncombe, the Home
Secretary said that the only way to get rid of Metropolitan Toll-Bars
was for the parishes to agree to charge the road-expenses on the rates,
this is just a bit of the bosh officials think good enough for the House.
A particular road through a certain parish happens to be great
thoroughfare. The parish gains nothing by the increased traffic, but
the road is cut to pieces every three months by people going to and
coming from London. Why is the individual parish to bear the
expense? Roads are a national concern. The Pagan Romans knew
this, and their roads are good now. The Christian English do not, and
local Boors are permitted to squabble over rates, while travellers are
up to the axles in muddy cross-lanes.
Really important was Lord John’s announcement that we interdict
the Armed Ships and the Privateers belonging to either side in the
American conflict from coming into our Waters with prizes. France
merely excludes their Privateers, after twenty-four hours’ shelter.
Mr. Punch doubts whether Cassius will like to put our resolution
into his Clay pipe and smoke it. Yet uo one can say that we are in a
hurry to tread on American corns. The House, later in the week, flatly
refused to hear Mr. Gregory, who desired to state the case of the
Secessionists.
Tuesday. This Father Daly is disinclined to be put down. He
prooably sniffs future business in connection with the Galway affair,
and desires to stand totus teres atque rotundas. So he employed, of all
Lords, the exemplary Clanricarde to make a speech for him, and to
say that the Father meant nothing like putting the Irish Screw on
Lord Palmerston, but only that “action” was to be “taken” in a
national way. Lord Brougham did not exactly put his fingers to his
nose at this statement, because taking such action, or sight, would not
have been in accordance with the habits of the Aristocracy, but he
intimated that he had lived some time in the world, and so on. Mr.
Punch does not see what this Priest has to do with these American
boats, except, to be sure, that they go to “ Mass.”
Lord Richard Grosvenor took his seat for Flintshire, where the
Conservatives have been defeated, partly by the exertions of Mr.
Gladstone, and partly, it seems, by their own negligence ; for the
Tory Liverpool Mail eloquently declares that “ no word-painting, not
even a scorching sunbeam dipped in scalding gall, could sufficiently
stigmatise the Conservative sneaks.” Mr. Whalley fulfilled his
threat of going in at Maynooth, and was promptly sat upon by a
majority of 191 to 111; and then Mr. Denman brought up the case ot
the Baron de Bode, and carried a Select Committee, against the
Government, by 131 to 112. This spectral Baron Bode is the Bodach
Glas for Chancellors of Exchequer.
Wednesday. More very grave speechifying on the Galway Alliance
against Palmerston, and then Members went away to help Prince
Albert in opening SlrcalJta.
Thursday. Suddenly, and, to human apprehension, at an unfortunate
moment for Italy, the statesman who has worked out her liberation,,
expires. After a brief illness, reported to be terminating favourably,.
Count Cavour died, this day. The melancholy event was befif.tingly
alluded to in the House of Lords, by the representatives of all sides
in politics.
India claimed the Commons. Sir Charles Wood in three speeches
introduced three Bills. Most English people have a hazy notion that
the Government of India is somehow managed by a mixture of
Elephants and Cummerbunds, tempered by Adjutants and Juggernauts,
with a final appeal to the Bishop of Calcutta. It is of no use explain-
ing to them that Sir C. Wood’s plans are to increase the Legislative
Council, to admit natives largely to it and to other important trusts,
and to construct new courts of law. Persons really interested in the
subject will read the debate.
The Industrial Schools Bill made progress, Mr. Henley as usual
growling agaiust the power that it is proposed to give the Magistrates
lo deai with little offenders whose parents are vicious.
Friday. The event of the night amply justified Mr. Punch's generous
;i
j
1
I
j
[June 15, 1861.
240
PUNCH,
OR
THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
DOUBTFUL.
Unsophisticated Friend. “ Well, look here, I'm not a Setting Man
myself, but to oblige you, I don't mind putting a Monkey on the 1 Drum'
for the' Leger."
PUNCH’S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
June 3, Monday. The House of Lords, for some reason, always
assumes special care of Ireland, a fact, which may accouni, for a few of
the curiosities of Irish political and domestic economy. To-night
their lordships had a debate on the Galway Packet business, Lord
Normanby opening the game, as at chess a feeble pawn makes way
for a knight and bishop. What Normanby said, is, of course, of no
consequence, except as additional evidence of his fatuity. He was
sense-abandoned enough to try a weak taunt ar, the “ inconsistency ” of
some of his former colleagues. This from Normanby, who in other
days was a silver-fork Liberal, wh> was called by O’Connell the
“unparalleled Normanby,” and who went about as the sort of Pretty
Boy of the Melbourne administration delivering gaols, pardoning
political offenders, and generally doing the Liberal sentimentalibus,
and who in his late days became courtier to the Italian despots and
advocate in chief against the King of Italy and Garibaldi. It was
not in human nature, even in that of the good-natured Granville, not
to give the vane old weathercock a spin for this. The Packet question
was discussed, as was the much more important question whether the
Irish Members had “taken action” upon the subject. On looking to
the division-list Mr. Punch observes that out of the 105 Irish repre-
sentatives, 73 voted against Government on the Paper-duty Bill, and
8 of these had previously voted on the other side. Whereby it is clear
that the Screw has been put on in Ireland, only of course, being an
Irish screw, it turned the wrong way, and there has been only a
scandal and a smash. Lord Granville stated that Government had
not come to a decision as to the advisability of a line of Packet service
from Galway to America. What did Mr. Punch vaticinate last week?
The next step will show how Government proposes to arrive at that
decision. Lord Eglinton was rather tournamenty, and said that
even if the Tories had given the Galway contractors a job, it was not so
bad as the conduct of the Liberals in throwing away the Paper Duty
to please the penny papers and Mr. Bright. Lord Clanricarde
thought the Irish Members were not such “fools ” as to suppose that
tney could coerce Lord Palmerston. The Postmaster-General
defended the repudiation of the Contract, and declared that the
Galway Company had done nothing in accordance with their agree-
ments, and would not even propose terms by which they would consent
to tie finally bound. Lord Brougham, thought that, Father Daly
ought to be brought to the bar of the Commons, to declare whether the
Irish Members had sent him to make a bargain with the Minister. So
ended the discussion, for Normandy, having moved for papers which
did not exist, obligingly expressed his willingness not to press for them.
The Paper-Duty Abolition Bill passed the Commons, amid cheering
from the Liberals. Mr. Punch, with incalculable generosity, instantly
trebled the Salaries of all his Young Men, from Wiiewell down to
the Wiscount, but, with inconceivable sagacity, made the new arrange
ment commence from the day the Lords should read the Bill the
Second Time. This amiable device ensured the zeal of all his Disin-
terested Young Patriots in urging the measure through the Upper
House.
Among matters hardly worth mention was a statement of Sir
Charles Wood that there was an Indian Deficit of Two Millions, so
lie would just ask for Four, but should want some more by-and-by for
Railways. Lt was voted, of course. Mr. Cowpbr officially announced
that the Mangle-Wurzle lot are to show their fat, beasts and fizz-
ploughs in the Regent’s Park. Mr. Punch only hopes that the pro-
vincial dialects will not be very offensive to Mr. Sclater’s fashionable
animals at the Z. In answer to Mr. Tom Duncombe, the Home
Secretary said that the only way to get rid of Metropolitan Toll-Bars
was for the parishes to agree to charge the road-expenses on the rates,
this is just a bit of the bosh officials think good enough for the House.
A particular road through a certain parish happens to be great
thoroughfare. The parish gains nothing by the increased traffic, but
the road is cut to pieces every three months by people going to and
coming from London. Why is the individual parish to bear the
expense? Roads are a national concern. The Pagan Romans knew
this, and their roads are good now. The Christian English do not, and
local Boors are permitted to squabble over rates, while travellers are
up to the axles in muddy cross-lanes.
Really important was Lord John’s announcement that we interdict
the Armed Ships and the Privateers belonging to either side in the
American conflict from coming into our Waters with prizes. France
merely excludes their Privateers, after twenty-four hours’ shelter.
Mr. Punch doubts whether Cassius will like to put our resolution
into his Clay pipe and smoke it. Yet uo one can say that we are in a
hurry to tread on American corns. The House, later in the week, flatly
refused to hear Mr. Gregory, who desired to state the case of the
Secessionists.
Tuesday. This Father Daly is disinclined to be put down. He
prooably sniffs future business in connection with the Galway affair,
and desires to stand totus teres atque rotundas. So he employed, of all
Lords, the exemplary Clanricarde to make a speech for him, and to
say that the Father meant nothing like putting the Irish Screw on
Lord Palmerston, but only that “action” was to be “taken” in a
national way. Lord Brougham did not exactly put his fingers to his
nose at this statement, because taking such action, or sight, would not
have been in accordance with the habits of the Aristocracy, but he
intimated that he had lived some time in the world, and so on. Mr.
Punch does not see what this Priest has to do with these American
boats, except, to be sure, that they go to “ Mass.”
Lord Richard Grosvenor took his seat for Flintshire, where the
Conservatives have been defeated, partly by the exertions of Mr.
Gladstone, and partly, it seems, by their own negligence ; for the
Tory Liverpool Mail eloquently declares that “ no word-painting, not
even a scorching sunbeam dipped in scalding gall, could sufficiently
stigmatise the Conservative sneaks.” Mr. Whalley fulfilled his
threat of going in at Maynooth, and was promptly sat upon by a
majority of 191 to 111; and then Mr. Denman brought up the case ot
the Baron de Bode, and carried a Select Committee, against the
Government, by 131 to 112. This spectral Baron Bode is the Bodach
Glas for Chancellors of Exchequer.
Wednesday. More very grave speechifying on the Galway Alliance
against Palmerston, and then Members went away to help Prince
Albert in opening SlrcalJta.
Thursday. Suddenly, and, to human apprehension, at an unfortunate
moment for Italy, the statesman who has worked out her liberation,,
expires. After a brief illness, reported to be terminating favourably,.
Count Cavour died, this day. The melancholy event was befif.tingly
alluded to in the House of Lords, by the representatives of all sides
in politics.
India claimed the Commons. Sir Charles Wood in three speeches
introduced three Bills. Most English people have a hazy notion that
the Government of India is somehow managed by a mixture of
Elephants and Cummerbunds, tempered by Adjutants and Juggernauts,
with a final appeal to the Bishop of Calcutta. It is of no use explain-
ing to them that Sir C. Wood’s plans are to increase the Legislative
Council, to admit natives largely to it and to other important trusts,
and to construct new courts of law. Persons really interested in the
subject will read the debate.
The Industrial Schools Bill made progress, Mr. Henley as usual
growling agaiust the power that it is proposed to give the Magistrates
lo deai with little offenders whose parents are vicious.
Friday. The event of the night amply justified Mr. Punch's generous
;i
j
1
I
j