DOI issue:
June 22, 1861
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16867#0258
250
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[June 22, 1361.
Then the Lords had a Ragged-School Row, and it is remarkable
how the minds of men adapt themselves to the subject of discussion.
Whenever this question comes up, some of the Lords are sure to begin
abusing one another, much as the ragged objects of the charity would
do under excitement. The topic is not an agreeable one, especially in
hot weather, but the most fastidious of their Lordships will listen to
one of their own body, Lord Macaulay, and when they are inclined
to evade their duty to the Dangerous Classes, let them recollect what,
Lord T. B. M, wrote of the somewhat anarchical period between the
Abdication of James and the Accession of William. “ On such
occasions it will ever be found that the Human Vermin, which, ne-
glected by Ministers of State and Ministers of Religion, and barbarous
in the midst of civilisation, burrows among all physical and all moral
pollution in the cellars and garrets of great, cities, all at once rises into
a terrible importance.” The Lord Shaftesbury and the Duke of
: Newcastle exchanged their usual defiances over the Report of the
Education Commissioners, but the Duke had the best of it—he is not
one of those men whose every Goose is a Swan, but he is quite content
to regard goose as goose, and a very good bird into the bargain, though
as the hungry gentleman said, a little too much for one and not enough
! for two.
At a morning sitting (why are there not more morning and fewer
evening sittings ?) the Commons considered the Criminal Law Con-
solidation Bills, and very good business was done. In the evening
Lord John Russell announced that the Powers have agreed that
Syria shall in future be kept in order by a Christian Governor, of
course a servant of the Sultan. It is a comfort to know that there will
be one Christian in Syria.
Give a man-with-a-grievance an inch, and if he won’t take an ell he ’ll
make a grab at it. Barber, an attorney, some years ago was foolish
enough to be the innocent party to frauds of which, at the time, he
was found guilty by a jury. He was sentenced to transportation.
But as it was afterwards shown that he had been wrongfully accused
of complicity in the fraud, he was pardoned, and a sum of £5000 was
properly granted to him out of the public money, to compensate him
for his unmerited sufferings. Now Barber wants more. This is a
little too good, and the House negatived the demand without division.
Wednesday. Theology, as usual, on the Parliament Sunday. Shall
witnesses who object t,o oaths, be relieved from the necessity of swear-
ing on criminal trials? For the relief it was insisted that it is hard to
make a man’s right to the protection of the law depend upon his or
another’s “ speculative opinions,” and that at this moment many persons
are exposed to danger of life, and property, because it is known that they
will not declare their belief in a future state. Against the relief it
was contended that the mass of persons whose evidence comes before
the Courts, have little respect for truth, but have a dread of perjury,
and that to remit the oath would be to diminish the chances of getting
at the fact. It was also urged that persons who were incapable of
recognising the leading truths of religion were semi-lunatics, who
deserved no special law in their favour. The case of those who are
perfectly truthful, and believe in religion, and therefore object to
oaths (considering that “Swear not at all” does not mean that we are
not to swear at everybody, but that swearing itself is inhibited), is a
hard case ; and unless solved on the broad principle of the convenience
of the majority, can scarcely be said to be dealt with. The Solicitor-
General, who is a Methodist, avowed his conviction that oaths were
very valuable, and Sir G. Lewis took the same side. A Bill of
Mr. Dlllwyn’s lor substituting affirmations was rejected by 136
to 66.
The Speaker went to the House of Lords, and when he came back,
announced that the Royal Assent had been given to the Paper-Duty
Bill. Mr. Gladstone immediately burst into song in the character
of the Peri,—
Joy, joy for ever, my task is done.
The Bill is passed, and the game is won !
Oh. am I not happy, I am, I am,
To thee, dear Paper, how dark and sad
Are the war-taxed Teas from Chingchongeram,
Or the crystal Sugars from old Trinidad.
Joy, joy, for ever, my task is done,
The Bill is passed, and the game is won.
Thursday. The Earl of Leitrim, (did anybody ever hear of him—
lie is called Clements in the British Peerage?) had abused Chief
Justice Monahan, for some charge, in which he had stated that there
was a diminution in the crime of a certain Irish locality. This the
Earl denied, and was very uncivil to the judge. Lord Campbell and
others were down upon his Lordship, and very high testimony was
borne on all sides to the wisdom and discretion of the Judge, testimony
which of course implied that Lord Leitrim had neither wisdom nor
discretion. He was scolded so severely that he announced his inten-
tion of holding his tongue, but was of course much too obstinate to
own that he had made a mistake. Then came another Irish affair—a
ticket of leave having been granted to a man who had pleaded guilty
of conspiracy to murder. The Duke of Newcastle explained that it
was all right, and noble Lords seemed to derive comfort from hearing
that the scoundrel had left Ireland, and settled in Manchester,
The Commons discussed India.
Friday. Some of Henry of Exeter’s flock petition that his diocese
may be split into two parts. We should like to hear Dr. Phillpotts
(yes, Wiscount, that is the.right spelling, and nothing is more vulgar,
or a clearer sign of that insolent negligence which is the essence
of vulgarity, than mispelling a name—do we ever mispel yours,
Villi ams ?) on the point. Fla! ha! not to say bee! hee ! When the
Ministers got their majority, notwithstanding Father Daly, what
said Mr. Punch? Of course there was no bargain, such a thing would
have been shameful. But he should not go, he said, into hysterics of
astonishment, if a Committee, or a Commission, or something, inquired
into the question, and if it were found that certain Irishmen knew that
Justice would be done to Oireland. This was weeks ago. To-night
there was a Galway debate, and Government, in the most handsome
manner, conceded a Committee, and if the Committee reports that the
Galway Company may be indulged with another trial, it will be very
wonderful if the Government should take the same indulgent view.
But a bargain, Oh, dear no! Perish ten Ministries, and so on; and
here, waiter, bring us a Gin Sling, and get us our cigar-case.
By the way, Mr. Disraeli made himself very angry to-night, and
accused Lord Palmerston of having hunted the late excellent Mr.
Stafford t,o death, a statement indignantly denied by the Viscount,
and contradicted by persoual friends of Mr. Stafford, who attributed
his premature death to other causes than the attacks upon his Admi-
ralty errors. Let us rather remember the gallant services he did in the
Crimea—not in fighting, but in the cause of humanity.
A VOLUNTEER WHERE LEAST EXPECTED-
We are glad to lay before the reader the following curious paragraph.
We have found a friend where we least expected it.
“ Mr. YV. Williams (Punch's favourite Wiscount) concurred in the eulogium which
had been passed on the Volunteer corps, and expressed a hope that the Government!
would not refuse to accede to the proposal of the noble Loid(ELcno) the member
or Haddingtonshire. {Hear, Hear.)"
The above hearty co-operation was given on the sum of £133,276
being proposed as the vote for the Volunteer corps. It has been
universally supposed (and we have aided in no small degree in foster-
ing that supposition) that the Member for Lambeth was such a rigid
unsparing economist that he would rub off the gilding of the State-
carriage, if he thought he could save a few half-crowns every year by
it. However, it will be seen from the above that though the noble
Wiscount is generally opposed to everything like “ profligate expen-
diture,” still he is not averse to the outlay of what he considers is
worthily laid out for the defence of his country. He consents to pay
for the Volunteers (and we have it on the authority of Mr. T. G.
Baring himself that, including the wear and tear of the rifles, they do
not cost more than one pound per head per annum) on the same sensible
principle that he does not object to pay his police-rates; the first, he
has sense enough to know, protect his country from invaders, and the
second protect his house from thieves. Bravo, Wiscount; we beg to
hail you as a Man, and a Brother, and a Volunteer! We have often
drilled you, aud now, if you will only put yourself at the head of a
Volunteer regiment, you may drill us as often as you like.
The last Census informs us that after Smith aud Jones, there is no
name so common in England and Wales (the latter contributing very
liberally) as Williams. Why not start a corps exclusively composed,
then, of Williamses? and put yourself at the head of them, Wiscount?
Out of respect to one who spread great distinction on the name, it
might be called “The First Boiled Beefs.” The motto, without a
doubt, should be, “Cut and Come Again;” and the arms, in addition
to the rifle, should be a long carving-knife, with a big pewter-plate, by
way of a shield. If the subject were only well stirred, we are confident
that the “ Boiled Beefs ” would come out uncommonly strong, especially
when they were mustered in their lull strength.
Selling an Uncle.
A Remarkable case occurred, the other day, at Marlborough-streefe
Police Court. One Louis Mouiville, alias Mouillier, described as
a Bavarian, of No. 4, Kenningtou-green, was brought before Mr.
Tyrwhitt, charged with fraudulently obtaining from Mr. Robert
Attenborough, pawnbroker, of Greek-street, Soho, the sum of 30/.,
by palming upon him in pledge two hogsheads of water for so much
port wine. Mr. Attenborough, in short, supposed that the de-
fendant had spouted wine, but discovered that he had only spouted
water. The records of meteorology afford no parallel to this instance
of a water-spout. _
The Framework of Society.—Guilt.—A Clapham Cyme.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[June 22, 1361.
Then the Lords had a Ragged-School Row, and it is remarkable
how the minds of men adapt themselves to the subject of discussion.
Whenever this question comes up, some of the Lords are sure to begin
abusing one another, much as the ragged objects of the charity would
do under excitement. The topic is not an agreeable one, especially in
hot weather, but the most fastidious of their Lordships will listen to
one of their own body, Lord Macaulay, and when they are inclined
to evade their duty to the Dangerous Classes, let them recollect what,
Lord T. B. M, wrote of the somewhat anarchical period between the
Abdication of James and the Accession of William. “ On such
occasions it will ever be found that the Human Vermin, which, ne-
glected by Ministers of State and Ministers of Religion, and barbarous
in the midst of civilisation, burrows among all physical and all moral
pollution in the cellars and garrets of great, cities, all at once rises into
a terrible importance.” The Lord Shaftesbury and the Duke of
: Newcastle exchanged their usual defiances over the Report of the
Education Commissioners, but the Duke had the best of it—he is not
one of those men whose every Goose is a Swan, but he is quite content
to regard goose as goose, and a very good bird into the bargain, though
as the hungry gentleman said, a little too much for one and not enough
! for two.
At a morning sitting (why are there not more morning and fewer
evening sittings ?) the Commons considered the Criminal Law Con-
solidation Bills, and very good business was done. In the evening
Lord John Russell announced that the Powers have agreed that
Syria shall in future be kept in order by a Christian Governor, of
course a servant of the Sultan. It is a comfort to know that there will
be one Christian in Syria.
Give a man-with-a-grievance an inch, and if he won’t take an ell he ’ll
make a grab at it. Barber, an attorney, some years ago was foolish
enough to be the innocent party to frauds of which, at the time, he
was found guilty by a jury. He was sentenced to transportation.
But as it was afterwards shown that he had been wrongfully accused
of complicity in the fraud, he was pardoned, and a sum of £5000 was
properly granted to him out of the public money, to compensate him
for his unmerited sufferings. Now Barber wants more. This is a
little too good, and the House negatived the demand without division.
Wednesday. Theology, as usual, on the Parliament Sunday. Shall
witnesses who object t,o oaths, be relieved from the necessity of swear-
ing on criminal trials? For the relief it was insisted that it is hard to
make a man’s right to the protection of the law depend upon his or
another’s “ speculative opinions,” and that at this moment many persons
are exposed to danger of life, and property, because it is known that they
will not declare their belief in a future state. Against the relief it
was contended that the mass of persons whose evidence comes before
the Courts, have little respect for truth, but have a dread of perjury,
and that to remit the oath would be to diminish the chances of getting
at the fact. It was also urged that persons who were incapable of
recognising the leading truths of religion were semi-lunatics, who
deserved no special law in their favour. The case of those who are
perfectly truthful, and believe in religion, and therefore object to
oaths (considering that “Swear not at all” does not mean that we are
not to swear at everybody, but that swearing itself is inhibited), is a
hard case ; and unless solved on the broad principle of the convenience
of the majority, can scarcely be said to be dealt with. The Solicitor-
General, who is a Methodist, avowed his conviction that oaths were
very valuable, and Sir G. Lewis took the same side. A Bill of
Mr. Dlllwyn’s lor substituting affirmations was rejected by 136
to 66.
The Speaker went to the House of Lords, and when he came back,
announced that the Royal Assent had been given to the Paper-Duty
Bill. Mr. Gladstone immediately burst into song in the character
of the Peri,—
Joy, joy for ever, my task is done.
The Bill is passed, and the game is won !
Oh. am I not happy, I am, I am,
To thee, dear Paper, how dark and sad
Are the war-taxed Teas from Chingchongeram,
Or the crystal Sugars from old Trinidad.
Joy, joy, for ever, my task is done,
The Bill is passed, and the game is won.
Thursday. The Earl of Leitrim, (did anybody ever hear of him—
lie is called Clements in the British Peerage?) had abused Chief
Justice Monahan, for some charge, in which he had stated that there
was a diminution in the crime of a certain Irish locality. This the
Earl denied, and was very uncivil to the judge. Lord Campbell and
others were down upon his Lordship, and very high testimony was
borne on all sides to the wisdom and discretion of the Judge, testimony
which of course implied that Lord Leitrim had neither wisdom nor
discretion. He was scolded so severely that he announced his inten-
tion of holding his tongue, but was of course much too obstinate to
own that he had made a mistake. Then came another Irish affair—a
ticket of leave having been granted to a man who had pleaded guilty
of conspiracy to murder. The Duke of Newcastle explained that it
was all right, and noble Lords seemed to derive comfort from hearing
that the scoundrel had left Ireland, and settled in Manchester,
The Commons discussed India.
Friday. Some of Henry of Exeter’s flock petition that his diocese
may be split into two parts. We should like to hear Dr. Phillpotts
(yes, Wiscount, that is the.right spelling, and nothing is more vulgar,
or a clearer sign of that insolent negligence which is the essence
of vulgarity, than mispelling a name—do we ever mispel yours,
Villi ams ?) on the point. Fla! ha! not to say bee! hee ! When the
Ministers got their majority, notwithstanding Father Daly, what
said Mr. Punch? Of course there was no bargain, such a thing would
have been shameful. But he should not go, he said, into hysterics of
astonishment, if a Committee, or a Commission, or something, inquired
into the question, and if it were found that certain Irishmen knew that
Justice would be done to Oireland. This was weeks ago. To-night
there was a Galway debate, and Government, in the most handsome
manner, conceded a Committee, and if the Committee reports that the
Galway Company may be indulged with another trial, it will be very
wonderful if the Government should take the same indulgent view.
But a bargain, Oh, dear no! Perish ten Ministries, and so on; and
here, waiter, bring us a Gin Sling, and get us our cigar-case.
By the way, Mr. Disraeli made himself very angry to-night, and
accused Lord Palmerston of having hunted the late excellent Mr.
Stafford t,o death, a statement indignantly denied by the Viscount,
and contradicted by persoual friends of Mr. Stafford, who attributed
his premature death to other causes than the attacks upon his Admi-
ralty errors. Let us rather remember the gallant services he did in the
Crimea—not in fighting, but in the cause of humanity.
A VOLUNTEER WHERE LEAST EXPECTED-
We are glad to lay before the reader the following curious paragraph.
We have found a friend where we least expected it.
“ Mr. YV. Williams (Punch's favourite Wiscount) concurred in the eulogium which
had been passed on the Volunteer corps, and expressed a hope that the Government!
would not refuse to accede to the proposal of the noble Loid(ELcno) the member
or Haddingtonshire. {Hear, Hear.)"
The above hearty co-operation was given on the sum of £133,276
being proposed as the vote for the Volunteer corps. It has been
universally supposed (and we have aided in no small degree in foster-
ing that supposition) that the Member for Lambeth was such a rigid
unsparing economist that he would rub off the gilding of the State-
carriage, if he thought he could save a few half-crowns every year by
it. However, it will be seen from the above that though the noble
Wiscount is generally opposed to everything like “ profligate expen-
diture,” still he is not averse to the outlay of what he considers is
worthily laid out for the defence of his country. He consents to pay
for the Volunteers (and we have it on the authority of Mr. T. G.
Baring himself that, including the wear and tear of the rifles, they do
not cost more than one pound per head per annum) on the same sensible
principle that he does not object to pay his police-rates; the first, he
has sense enough to know, protect his country from invaders, and the
second protect his house from thieves. Bravo, Wiscount; we beg to
hail you as a Man, and a Brother, and a Volunteer! We have often
drilled you, aud now, if you will only put yourself at the head of a
Volunteer regiment, you may drill us as often as you like.
The last Census informs us that after Smith aud Jones, there is no
name so common in England and Wales (the latter contributing very
liberally) as Williams. Why not start a corps exclusively composed,
then, of Williamses? and put yourself at the head of them, Wiscount?
Out of respect to one who spread great distinction on the name, it
might be called “The First Boiled Beefs.” The motto, without a
doubt, should be, “Cut and Come Again;” and the arms, in addition
to the rifle, should be a long carving-knife, with a big pewter-plate, by
way of a shield. If the subject were only well stirred, we are confident
that the “ Boiled Beefs ” would come out uncommonly strong, especially
when they were mustered in their lull strength.
Selling an Uncle.
A Remarkable case occurred, the other day, at Marlborough-streefe
Police Court. One Louis Mouiville, alias Mouillier, described as
a Bavarian, of No. 4, Kenningtou-green, was brought before Mr.
Tyrwhitt, charged with fraudulently obtaining from Mr. Robert
Attenborough, pawnbroker, of Greek-street, Soho, the sum of 30/.,
by palming upon him in pledge two hogsheads of water for so much
port wine. Mr. Attenborough, in short, supposed that the de-
fendant had spouted wine, but discovered that he had only spouted
water. The records of meteorology afford no parallel to this instance
of a water-spout. _
The Framework of Society.—Guilt.—A Clapham Cyme.