DOI Heft:
April 12, 1862
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16869#0153
April 12, 1862.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
MR. BRIGHT AND THE FINE ARTS.
at distinguished connoisseur
mid zealous patron of the
Arts, John Bright, Esquire,
M.P., has felt so naturally
anxious that his favourite
country (we mean, of course,
America) should be fitly repre-
sented at the coming Inter-
national Exhibition, that we
hear, he has commissioned the
first artists in New York to
paint for him a series of his-
torical pictures, which he
trusts to get admitted to the
gallery at Kensington, before
he finally receives them to
decorate his own. The sub-
jects he has chosen have
mostly been selected with
the view of pointing out the
decadence of England, and
her marked inferiority in
standing to the States. From
a whisper which has reached
us we are privileged to state,
that the following are some
of the historical events which
it has been his wish to sec
pictorially treated:—
The Quaker's Dream. Grand historical cartoon, representing the election of John Bright
as the perpetual president of Great Britain, consequent on the annihilation of the Throne
and House of Lords. {Note. The artist will be pleased to represent J. B. in a fine heroic
attitude, with a smile upon his face, and pointing to the Crown with a gesture of contempt,
after the manner of 0. Cromwell saying, “ Take away that bauble! ”)
Battle of Bunker's Hill. Total defeat and utt or rout of the entire British Army by a
handful of Americans led by General Washington. Cowardly flight of Sir John Burgoyne,
leaving all his guns and wounded on the field.
Sea-piece showing the famed action of the Shannon and the Chesapeake: wherein the former,
a gigantic British frigate of sixty-seven guns was captured by the latter, a little Yankee
cutler, carrying three six-pounders and less than fifty men. (Vide Hookey Walker’s
Naval History of the War.)
Sinking of the Royal George: scuttled by a brave American to avenge his country’s wrongs.
A Series of Marine Views, representing the stories (as told to the Marines') of the sinking
or surrender of several huge English frigates, which were in reality line-of-Dattle-ships dis-
guised, when encountered by as many small American corvettes.
Dastardly retreat of General Wolfe after his attempted storming of Quebec. {Vide General
Bunkum’s “ American Campaigns.”)
The Glorious Signing of the famous Declaration^ of Independence (from a sketch by an eye-
witness, who was present as reporter for the New York Denny Tomahawk). Grand historical
picture of England’s humiliation and America’s emancipation from the British tyrant’s thrall.
Drench Landscape: with a view of the Column at Boulogne, erected to commemorate the
invasion of England by the French (helped by the Yankees) in 1805. {Note by Mr. Bright.
English writers have declared that the invasion, though intended, never actually took place.
That is no business of the artist. There stands the Column, whatever be the fact.)
Picture showing the Printing of the first Penny Newspaper: invented by America to civilise
the Universe : with a view in the background of some few of the many million comforts and
advantages winch society has gained from this inestimable blessing.
The Breaking of the Duke of Wellington's Windows, by a few of the free citizens who were
sent over by the States to assist the British people in their struggle for Reform. {Note
by Mr. Bright. The artist will have the goodness to depict the Iron Duke half-fainting with
sheer fright, and the patriots throwing stones at him are to be dressed in evening costume,
with camellias in their button-holes and opera-glasses in left-hand.)
The “ Wooden-Nutmeg Merchant,” and the “ Gross of Green Spectacles: ” a pair of pictures
showing the superior acuteness of Americans in mercantile transactions.—N.B. See Hiram
Chouseley’s notes to the (pirated) New York edition of the Vicar of Wakefield, as to the
proofs that the pedlar who cheated Moses was a Yankee.
Portrait of a Pensylvanian, taken in the noble act of bravely repudiating his bond.
' “ The ’Cute Coon and the Cogged Dice; ” a Scene from real Yankee life: by an American
Pree-Raffleite.
A Series of Pictures, showing the invention of some of the most useful things the world has
ever seen ; such, lor instance, as the steam-engine, the printing-press and the electric telegraph ;
all of which, it is well known, were invented oy Americans.
Heroic Rising of the Chartist Patriots in 1848. Flight of Special Constables before a
handful ol brave Rowdies who had been sent over by the States, for the purpose of
establishing a Grqat British Republic.
Defeat of the Great English Giant Pugilist Tom Sayers by little Heenan the Hittite, the
champion of Yankee feather-weights.
Sinking of the whole British fleet by the American Armada, a.d. 1866. (A view of the future,
taken by an artist who paints m clairvoyance).
Gallant Action between the Federal Corvette
San Jacinto, 25 guns. Captain Wilkes, and the
British iron-plated line of Battle Steamship Trent,
carrying 111 Armstrong gum. Shameful surren-
der of the English three-decker.
Invasion of England by the Re-united States,
(A prospective picture, for which the artist is
expected to draw on his imagination : the scene
and date of the event not being yet precisely
fixed.—J. B.)
APRIL POOLS.
The rites and ways of ancient days
Shift with time’s ceaseless flow;
Old almanacs are no more true
Than history, we know.
But two Spring fashions hold their ground,
Though change all else may rule—
Still March doth snare her frantic hare,
And April boasts her fool.
The spring-life’s stirred in beast and bird,
Buds burst their barky screens,
Nor only trees, but nations boast,
The freshness of their greens.
From either Pole, to where her waves
Our own Britannia rules,
I look around and see the ground
Alive with April fools.
France gapes to see her Emperor
With Freedom’s cornice crown
His new Bastile which has replaced
The old one she pulled down.
Figs upon thistles, grapes on thorns,
Seeks, at his bidding cool—
Upon such sleeveless errand sent,
What’s France but April fool ?
Italy, still the battledore
Of Guelph and Ghib’line hands,
Betwixt an Emperor and Pope,
Perplexed and panting stands.
Of her that trusts to Brennus’s sword,
Or leans on Peter’s stool,
’Tis hard to say which Italy
Is greater April fool.
Grave Germany, ’twixt pot and pipe,
Book-led and KANT-o’errun,
Pores o’er the problem, still unripe,
How to make many one.
Professor while in Prince she’d find,
Or sovereigns in her schools,
There’s Germany, bemused and blind,
Greatest of April fools.
Turkey,—where diplomatic snips
With new cloth patch the old,
Beneath the Great Powers’ smiles and frowns
Alternate hot and cold,—
While Franks and Moslemin she trusts
With even hand to rule.
And hopes by loans to shake off debt—
Is sure an April fool.
And thou with Bunkum swoll’n and fired,
Oh, Jonathan, my son !
Spending thy million-a-day,
Half frenzied, half in fun :
Union who seek’st in civil war.
Freedom in Slavery’s school.
What, oh my Jonathan, art thou,
If not an April fool ?
And lastly, Mother England, thou
That sav’st wax-ends and chips,
While spending thirty millions clear
In soldiers and in ships;
If hoping to see Income-Tax
(Neatest of taxing-tools !)
Hung idly up on Treasury walls,
Thou ’rt worst of April fools !
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
MR. BRIGHT AND THE FINE ARTS.
at distinguished connoisseur
mid zealous patron of the
Arts, John Bright, Esquire,
M.P., has felt so naturally
anxious that his favourite
country (we mean, of course,
America) should be fitly repre-
sented at the coming Inter-
national Exhibition, that we
hear, he has commissioned the
first artists in New York to
paint for him a series of his-
torical pictures, which he
trusts to get admitted to the
gallery at Kensington, before
he finally receives them to
decorate his own. The sub-
jects he has chosen have
mostly been selected with
the view of pointing out the
decadence of England, and
her marked inferiority in
standing to the States. From
a whisper which has reached
us we are privileged to state,
that the following are some
of the historical events which
it has been his wish to sec
pictorially treated:—
The Quaker's Dream. Grand historical cartoon, representing the election of John Bright
as the perpetual president of Great Britain, consequent on the annihilation of the Throne
and House of Lords. {Note. The artist will be pleased to represent J. B. in a fine heroic
attitude, with a smile upon his face, and pointing to the Crown with a gesture of contempt,
after the manner of 0. Cromwell saying, “ Take away that bauble! ”)
Battle of Bunker's Hill. Total defeat and utt or rout of the entire British Army by a
handful of Americans led by General Washington. Cowardly flight of Sir John Burgoyne,
leaving all his guns and wounded on the field.
Sea-piece showing the famed action of the Shannon and the Chesapeake: wherein the former,
a gigantic British frigate of sixty-seven guns was captured by the latter, a little Yankee
cutler, carrying three six-pounders and less than fifty men. (Vide Hookey Walker’s
Naval History of the War.)
Sinking of the Royal George: scuttled by a brave American to avenge his country’s wrongs.
A Series of Marine Views, representing the stories (as told to the Marines') of the sinking
or surrender of several huge English frigates, which were in reality line-of-Dattle-ships dis-
guised, when encountered by as many small American corvettes.
Dastardly retreat of General Wolfe after his attempted storming of Quebec. {Vide General
Bunkum’s “ American Campaigns.”)
The Glorious Signing of the famous Declaration^ of Independence (from a sketch by an eye-
witness, who was present as reporter for the New York Denny Tomahawk). Grand historical
picture of England’s humiliation and America’s emancipation from the British tyrant’s thrall.
Drench Landscape: with a view of the Column at Boulogne, erected to commemorate the
invasion of England by the French (helped by the Yankees) in 1805. {Note by Mr. Bright.
English writers have declared that the invasion, though intended, never actually took place.
That is no business of the artist. There stands the Column, whatever be the fact.)
Picture showing the Printing of the first Penny Newspaper: invented by America to civilise
the Universe : with a view in the background of some few of the many million comforts and
advantages winch society has gained from this inestimable blessing.
The Breaking of the Duke of Wellington's Windows, by a few of the free citizens who were
sent over by the States to assist the British people in their struggle for Reform. {Note
by Mr. Bright. The artist will have the goodness to depict the Iron Duke half-fainting with
sheer fright, and the patriots throwing stones at him are to be dressed in evening costume,
with camellias in their button-holes and opera-glasses in left-hand.)
The “ Wooden-Nutmeg Merchant,” and the “ Gross of Green Spectacles: ” a pair of pictures
showing the superior acuteness of Americans in mercantile transactions.—N.B. See Hiram
Chouseley’s notes to the (pirated) New York edition of the Vicar of Wakefield, as to the
proofs that the pedlar who cheated Moses was a Yankee.
Portrait of a Pensylvanian, taken in the noble act of bravely repudiating his bond.
' “ The ’Cute Coon and the Cogged Dice; ” a Scene from real Yankee life: by an American
Pree-Raffleite.
A Series of Pictures, showing the invention of some of the most useful things the world has
ever seen ; such, lor instance, as the steam-engine, the printing-press and the electric telegraph ;
all of which, it is well known, were invented oy Americans.
Heroic Rising of the Chartist Patriots in 1848. Flight of Special Constables before a
handful ol brave Rowdies who had been sent over by the States, for the purpose of
establishing a Grqat British Republic.
Defeat of the Great English Giant Pugilist Tom Sayers by little Heenan the Hittite, the
champion of Yankee feather-weights.
Sinking of the whole British fleet by the American Armada, a.d. 1866. (A view of the future,
taken by an artist who paints m clairvoyance).
Gallant Action between the Federal Corvette
San Jacinto, 25 guns. Captain Wilkes, and the
British iron-plated line of Battle Steamship Trent,
carrying 111 Armstrong gum. Shameful surren-
der of the English three-decker.
Invasion of England by the Re-united States,
(A prospective picture, for which the artist is
expected to draw on his imagination : the scene
and date of the event not being yet precisely
fixed.—J. B.)
APRIL POOLS.
The rites and ways of ancient days
Shift with time’s ceaseless flow;
Old almanacs are no more true
Than history, we know.
But two Spring fashions hold their ground,
Though change all else may rule—
Still March doth snare her frantic hare,
And April boasts her fool.
The spring-life’s stirred in beast and bird,
Buds burst their barky screens,
Nor only trees, but nations boast,
The freshness of their greens.
From either Pole, to where her waves
Our own Britannia rules,
I look around and see the ground
Alive with April fools.
France gapes to see her Emperor
With Freedom’s cornice crown
His new Bastile which has replaced
The old one she pulled down.
Figs upon thistles, grapes on thorns,
Seeks, at his bidding cool—
Upon such sleeveless errand sent,
What’s France but April fool ?
Italy, still the battledore
Of Guelph and Ghib’line hands,
Betwixt an Emperor and Pope,
Perplexed and panting stands.
Of her that trusts to Brennus’s sword,
Or leans on Peter’s stool,
’Tis hard to say which Italy
Is greater April fool.
Grave Germany, ’twixt pot and pipe,
Book-led and KANT-o’errun,
Pores o’er the problem, still unripe,
How to make many one.
Professor while in Prince she’d find,
Or sovereigns in her schools,
There’s Germany, bemused and blind,
Greatest of April fools.
Turkey,—where diplomatic snips
With new cloth patch the old,
Beneath the Great Powers’ smiles and frowns
Alternate hot and cold,—
While Franks and Moslemin she trusts
With even hand to rule.
And hopes by loans to shake off debt—
Is sure an April fool.
And thou with Bunkum swoll’n and fired,
Oh, Jonathan, my son !
Spending thy million-a-day,
Half frenzied, half in fun :
Union who seek’st in civil war.
Freedom in Slavery’s school.
What, oh my Jonathan, art thou,
If not an April fool ?
And lastly, Mother England, thou
That sav’st wax-ends and chips,
While spending thirty millions clear
In soldiers and in ships;
If hoping to see Income-Tax
(Neatest of taxing-tools !)
Hung idly up on Treasury walls,
Thou ’rt worst of April fools !