Punch (43.1862)

January 11, 1862.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 17


But alas her faith in

Till at last as Dews

“ARMA CANEMQUE!”

Female friend’s devotion,

Machines descending.

When a Maltese terrier

Arnold beak was summoned

See Westminster Police Report on Friday, Jan. 3.

Sets the heart in motion!
Did Miss Walrond really

Thereof to make ending.

Sing the fight of Walrond,

Deem the dog a present ?

Swearing, counter-swearing

Sing the fight of Norton ;

Was the bait too potent,

One the other, all round,

How a little terrier

Was the dog too pleasant ?

Met the house of Norton

IVar those houses brought on;

And the house of Walrond.

How a forfeit friendship

Certain ’tis, Miss Walrond,

Ne’er was contradiction

Blazed upon the alt ar;

(Howe’er she excused it)

Fiercer, fuller, flatter,

All about a little

When Miss Norton asked her

Than that hurled on both sides

Terrier of Malta!

For the pet, refused it;
With distinct assertion,

In this mighty matter.

For eight pounds last summer.

(When to answer driven)

Still the strife waxed hotter.

Had Miss Norton bought it:

That the precious terrier

Till beak Rhadamanthus

White it was and curly,

Was not lent but given!

Felt a qualm of conscience,
Ladies’ fire to fan thus.

Pretty arts she taught it,

Sitting on its tail-end,

All thereon that followed,

If the casus belli

Begging tricks, so clever—

Muse be sweet and short on ;

He could have divided.

Such a pet one may lend,

Yain the task to picture

I have not a doubt he

Give away—no, never !

The despair of Norton.
To Miss Janet Walrond

Would have so decided.

For Miss N. to Woolwicl

First her knees she bended,

Here the “ chose in action,”

Came an invitation;

Then when prayers were idle.

Being indivisible,

Where to leave her darling

Hnto threats descended.

All attempts at compromise

Caused her perturbation;

’Twixt the foes seemed risible.

Entertaining for it

Then from words to actions,

Had he hinted sev’rance

An affection fervent,

In her wrath she passes ;

(I will stake my hand on’t)
Both for his deliv’rance

How could she entrust it

Round the house of Walrond

To a menial servant ?

Draws the lower classes.
Ringing at the door-bell,

Had their claims abandoned.

In this strait perplexing,

Till the street-boys calling

War of words subsided

Sadden she bethought her

“ Give the lady’s dog back,”

When, in corner driven,

Of her friend the Lady

Make a row appalling.

Arnold, grave, decided

Janet Walrond’s daughter.


That the dog was given.
But no doubt Miss Norton,

Surely in her keeping

Yain the invocation

Kindly she ’d receive it:

Of the stern police-man :

Agitation hot in.

Wash and comb and care for it;

Idle the suggestion

Somehow or another,

Nor to hireling leave it!

Of a friend as peace-man.
Never Janet Walrond

Had the fact forgotten !

To Miss Janet Walrond,

Bank her trust will tender '

Loud the house ot Walrond

Thus her pet confided,

Of her pet ne’er Caroline

Crowed at the decision:

With her friends at Woolwich,

Norton make surrender !

Sore the house of Norton

Calm Miss N. abided;

Wailed Miss C.’s position.

With her pet erratic,

’Twixt the house of Walrond

Ne’er to reconcilement

Eating, drinking, sleeping,

And the house of Norton,

Shall the feud be carried,

In aristocratic

Many moons all fiercely

Till the pet is stolen,

Custody and keeping.

Was this battle fought on.

i And the ladies married !

A SMALL VOICE EOR THE SMALL BIRDS.

“ Les Sportmen” have been having a fine time of it in Trance.
How many thousands of hares, rabbits, wild fowl, partridges and
pheasants, they have bagged in the last three months, has been set
forth in a paragraph which our papers have re-printed, and which
doubtless does not much exaggerate the facts. How many larks, linnets,
sparrows, wagtails, wens ana titmice, ‘ les Sportmen ’ have been like-
wise so lucky as to bag, we have not at present any data to inform us;
but judging by the pockets we have seen turned out in France, and the
number of small birds with which each partridge was surrounded, we
should say that some few millions must have recently been shot.

Now, some few months ago the Times republished a petition from
a number of French naturalists, clearly showing to their Government
what havoc must ensue from the ravages of insects if their natural
devourers the small birds, were destroyed. It was shown that every
young family of sparrows demolished iu their nest-hood a whole colony
of caterpillars, while the quantity of cockchafers consumed by Master
and Miss Titmouse before they left off being naked and came out in
full feather, was really so enormous that we could hardly swallow it,
and could scarcely fancy that so very small a bird could have so very
large an appetite and crop. Naturalists, however, are not men to
speak at random, or without full proof, if it be anyhow procurable • and
when it was stated that the wings of all these cockchafers were found
about the nest, and were actually counted, it would have been ungentle-
manly to dispute the fact. Kill the little birds, said the observant
naturalists, and you let live, increase, and multiply the cockroaches and
j caterpillars and the myriad other hungry and havoc-making members
of the insectal tribe. As these increase, the crops of corn and fruit
diminish; and as flies, and slugs, and grubs, are very much more
difficult for naan to catch and kill than they are for wrens and sparrows,
it is_ not wise in him to murder his natural allies, who can best assist
him in the warfare for the welfare of his crops that he must wage.

This being so, “les Sportmen ” were petitioned (through the Gov-

ernment) to cease their murderous assaults on titmice, larks and
linnets, and to reserve their small shot for rather larger game. And
that some such a petition might with fitness be addressed to certain
English gunners also, this extract from a letter to the Times appears
to show:—

“ It has been obvious to all who have had the opportunity and the capacity tc
observe, that during the last few years the small birds have decreased considerably.

In a like ratio insects of the most destructive kinds have increased. I have had
excellent means of knowing that in various parts of the county of Kent whole crops
of fruit, vegetables, and grain have been swept off entirely by various kinds of
minute insects which the birds alone are competent to detect and destroy, and
which not one man in a hundred knows anything about. Men see their hopes ;
blasted, but they believe some ill wind has blown ‘ a blight,’ for under that vague
term they designate all such evils. In no localities have insects done so much
injury to the fruit as where ‘ sparrow clubs ’ are established and where birds are
indiscriminately and systematically exterminated. For example, at a village in
Kent prizes are given for the heads of sparrows, titmouse, and other birds which
feed almost exclusively on insects and their larvae. The gardens in that locality
are very extensive and are planted chiefly with plum-trees. In 1858 they promised
an extra-abundant crop, but long before the fruit was matured the larvae of the
winter-moth, upon which the birds, especially the titmouse, feed, consumed almost
the entire crop. The birds had been destroyed.”

Ail ye who love plum tart send in your names at once as Putters
Down of Sparrow Clubs, and cut summarily the acquaintance of all
idiots who belong to them. “ Live and let live ” is a good human
motto, and, as applied to little birds, there is especial truth in it. In
sooth, the fact appears to be that if we kill the sparrows, their deaths
will somewhat tend to the destruction of ourselves, for all our fruit
and crops will be demolished by the insects which the small birds now
destroy. Therefore let this suicidal hedgerow warfare cease, and let
our farmers seek no longer to exterminate the sparrows, lest haply by
so doing they exterminate ourselves.

Mr. Punch’s aim is usually to shoot folly as it flies; but if Mr.
Punch this winter catches any sneaking fool, crawling behind hedges
to get pot-shots at the sparrows, Mr. Punch will have a shot with his
cudgel at the knave, without giving him a chance of flight from his
just punishment.