DOI Heft:
[July] 11, 1862
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16870#0026
18
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[January 11, 1862.
Uncle (Nervous old Gent). “ What are those Brown Paper Parcels in the Fender,
George ? ”
Nephew (and Marksman). “Ah, by the bye, Uncle, you might as well take care about
dropping your Cigar ash. I always dry my Cartridges, and-”
[Right about backwards wheel, and retreat at the double by the Old Gentleman.
SONG IN AID OF SOBRIETY.
{Dedicated to the United Kingdom Alliance.)
Tune—“ Poor Mary Anne.”
Toby Muggins was in liquor,
All mops and brooms.
Going home he lost his “ ticker,”
All mops and brooms.
Out of shape his hat was battered,
And his coat was tom and tattered,
And his clothes were much bespattered,
All mops and brooms.
In the kennel stretched we found him,
All mops and brooms.
"With a crowd of people round him,
All mops and Brooms.
Set his eyes were in their sockets,
Inside out were turned his pockets:
Vulgar voices cried, “ Old cock, it’s
All mops and brooms ! ”
Staggering on in zigzag travel,
All mops ana brooms.
He had tumbled on the gravel,
All mops and brooms.
And his nose, on that occasion,
Had sustained a large abrasion,
He was deaf to all persuasion;
All mops and brooms.
So, upon his legs unstable.
All mops and brooms,
Or to go or stand unable,
All mops and brooms.
Four policemen prisoner made him:
On a stretcher having laid him,
To the station they conveyed him.
All mops and brooms.
A New Weapon in Warfare.
That highly respectable paper the New York Herald
suggests, in the event of war Between ourselves, and the
Yankees, the confiscation of all British property invested
in American securities. The proposal of not paying
an enemy off is a new idea of vindicating national
honour.
Advice to Disunited Friends.—A hollow friend-
ship is like a hollow tooth—it’s always best to have it
out at once.—Poor Richard.
A COMPROMISE WITH AMERICA.
“ Mr. Punch,
“If we are not at war with America by the time this letter
reaches you, perhaps you will have the kindness to publish a suggestion
which may prove the means of preserving peace.
“Mr. Edwin James has pronounced an opinion respecting the
legality of the seizure of Messrs. Slidell and Mason, evidently
dictated by a mere desire to curry favour with the Yankee mob. What-
ever Mr. James is, he is not a fool; and he must well know that the
violence offered by Captain Wilkes to passengers on board a neutral
ship bound from one neutral port to another was an illegal act, an act as
illegal, according to international law as embezzling money is according
to the law of England. Mr. James pronounces an opinion with the
knowledge that it is unsound, aud with the intention of encouraging
the mob in a determination which, if maintained, must induce war
with England. Morally, is not this conduct treasonable ? Is not Mr.
Edwin James a virtual traitor ? Who would have expected him to
come to that ? If his antecedents had been those of a scoundrel, his
disloyalty would have only been a deeper plunge into the mire of
rascality. But Mr. Edwin James was an honest and honourable
gentleman, as much as he was a patriot.
“ Whether a British jury would actually convict him of treason, may
be questioned; but we have as much right to claim him as a traitor to
his Queen and country, as the Yankee Skipper had to apprehend the
Southern Commissioners on the same ground.
u Christianity is part and parcel of the law of the United States.
What the Americans do unto others is always strictly that which they
would wish others to do to them. The deck of the Trent was as much
British ground as the pavement of the Broadway, New York, is
American. President Lincoln, Mr. Seward, the Government and
people at large of the Federal States, will of course not object in the
least to the arrest of an alleged British rebel on any portion of their
territory.
“ Let A, B. C., and other members of the Police Force, constituting
a sufficient detachment, proceed to New York, or any other city in the
States which may be honoured by numbering the celebrated ex-Q. C.,
Mr. Edwin James, amongst its residents ; let them there lie in wait
for that ornament of the American Bar, of whom the British showed
itself unworthy. As soon as they can catch Mr. James let them collar
him on an accusation of high treason and convey him on board a British
man-of-war. The American multitude, Ministers, and Chief Magis-
trate, will all be glad to acquiesce in submission to this reprisal,
whereby British honour will be satisfactorily vindicated; and then
arrangements can be peaceably made, between the United Kingdom
and the remainder of the United States, for the final adjustment of the
question about the rights of neutrals.
“ In the mean time, Mr. Edwin James, if his indictment for treason
should appear unadvisable, might be quietly released, unless lie should
be wanted by his captors on some other score; for perhaps it is not too
much to say that he is not likely to be wanted here by anybody else,
unless by certain gentlemen at the Bar, mostly with an alias to their
names; members of that bar which disbars no barrister for swindling,
but hails him, on the contrary, as a smart fellow • like the bar of
Yankeedom.
“ I am, &c.,
“ The Dovecote, Jan. 1862.” ’ I*ax.-
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[January 11, 1862.
Uncle (Nervous old Gent). “ What are those Brown Paper Parcels in the Fender,
George ? ”
Nephew (and Marksman). “Ah, by the bye, Uncle, you might as well take care about
dropping your Cigar ash. I always dry my Cartridges, and-”
[Right about backwards wheel, and retreat at the double by the Old Gentleman.
SONG IN AID OF SOBRIETY.
{Dedicated to the United Kingdom Alliance.)
Tune—“ Poor Mary Anne.”
Toby Muggins was in liquor,
All mops and brooms.
Going home he lost his “ ticker,”
All mops and brooms.
Out of shape his hat was battered,
And his coat was tom and tattered,
And his clothes were much bespattered,
All mops and brooms.
In the kennel stretched we found him,
All mops and brooms.
"With a crowd of people round him,
All mops and Brooms.
Set his eyes were in their sockets,
Inside out were turned his pockets:
Vulgar voices cried, “ Old cock, it’s
All mops and brooms ! ”
Staggering on in zigzag travel,
All mops ana brooms.
He had tumbled on the gravel,
All mops and brooms.
And his nose, on that occasion,
Had sustained a large abrasion,
He was deaf to all persuasion;
All mops and brooms.
So, upon his legs unstable.
All mops and brooms,
Or to go or stand unable,
All mops and brooms.
Four policemen prisoner made him:
On a stretcher having laid him,
To the station they conveyed him.
All mops and brooms.
A New Weapon in Warfare.
That highly respectable paper the New York Herald
suggests, in the event of war Between ourselves, and the
Yankees, the confiscation of all British property invested
in American securities. The proposal of not paying
an enemy off is a new idea of vindicating national
honour.
Advice to Disunited Friends.—A hollow friend-
ship is like a hollow tooth—it’s always best to have it
out at once.—Poor Richard.
A COMPROMISE WITH AMERICA.
“ Mr. Punch,
“If we are not at war with America by the time this letter
reaches you, perhaps you will have the kindness to publish a suggestion
which may prove the means of preserving peace.
“Mr. Edwin James has pronounced an opinion respecting the
legality of the seizure of Messrs. Slidell and Mason, evidently
dictated by a mere desire to curry favour with the Yankee mob. What-
ever Mr. James is, he is not a fool; and he must well know that the
violence offered by Captain Wilkes to passengers on board a neutral
ship bound from one neutral port to another was an illegal act, an act as
illegal, according to international law as embezzling money is according
to the law of England. Mr. James pronounces an opinion with the
knowledge that it is unsound, aud with the intention of encouraging
the mob in a determination which, if maintained, must induce war
with England. Morally, is not this conduct treasonable ? Is not Mr.
Edwin James a virtual traitor ? Who would have expected him to
come to that ? If his antecedents had been those of a scoundrel, his
disloyalty would have only been a deeper plunge into the mire of
rascality. But Mr. Edwin James was an honest and honourable
gentleman, as much as he was a patriot.
“ Whether a British jury would actually convict him of treason, may
be questioned; but we have as much right to claim him as a traitor to
his Queen and country, as the Yankee Skipper had to apprehend the
Southern Commissioners on the same ground.
u Christianity is part and parcel of the law of the United States.
What the Americans do unto others is always strictly that which they
would wish others to do to them. The deck of the Trent was as much
British ground as the pavement of the Broadway, New York, is
American. President Lincoln, Mr. Seward, the Government and
people at large of the Federal States, will of course not object in the
least to the arrest of an alleged British rebel on any portion of their
territory.
“ Let A, B. C., and other members of the Police Force, constituting
a sufficient detachment, proceed to New York, or any other city in the
States which may be honoured by numbering the celebrated ex-Q. C.,
Mr. Edwin James, amongst its residents ; let them there lie in wait
for that ornament of the American Bar, of whom the British showed
itself unworthy. As soon as they can catch Mr. James let them collar
him on an accusation of high treason and convey him on board a British
man-of-war. The American multitude, Ministers, and Chief Magis-
trate, will all be glad to acquiesce in submission to this reprisal,
whereby British honour will be satisfactorily vindicated; and then
arrangements can be peaceably made, between the United Kingdom
and the remainder of the United States, for the final adjustment of the
question about the rights of neutrals.
“ In the mean time, Mr. Edwin James, if his indictment for treason
should appear unadvisable, might be quietly released, unless lie should
be wanted by his captors on some other score; for perhaps it is not too
much to say that he is not likely to be wanted here by anybody else,
unless by certain gentlemen at the Bar, mostly with an alias to their
names; members of that bar which disbars no barrister for swindling,
but hails him, on the contrary, as a smart fellow • like the bar of
Yankeedom.
“ I am, &c.,
“ The Dovecote, Jan. 1862.” ’ I*ax.-