DOI Heft:
January 10, 1863
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16871#0028
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [January 10, 1863.
THE DISTRICT TELEGRAPH.
♦ INVALUABLE TO THE MAN OF BUSINESS.
First Partner {to Second ditto). “ What an age we live in ! Talk oe the
INTRODUCTION OE STEAM OR OF GaS ! JUST LOOK AT THE FACILITIES AFFORDED US
by Electricity. It is now Six o’clock, and we are in Fleet Street, and this
Message was only sent from Oxford Street yesterday afternoon at Three ! ”
THE FEDERAL BRUTE-TAMER.
Amongst a class of Americans, not so numerous as
select, is Mr. Rarey. _ The many well-wishers of this
their American Rarity will have been glad to meet with the
following satisfactory account of him in reading their Times:
“ An Old Friend in a New Place.—Mr. Rarey, the horse-
tamer, has been appointed Commissioner of Horses in the Federal
States. His first official act was to go to the Army of the Potomac
under Burnside. There he inquired fully into the health of the horses,
and has adopted a new system to check the mortality among them.”
We rejoice in the assurance, derivable from the above
statement, that Mr. Rarey is, as our bumpkins say,
alive and kicking, whilst he is teaching wild horses not
to kick. When he has succeeded in putting the horses
of the Army of the Potomac to rights, perhaps Abraham
Lincoln will commission him to try his hand at taming
Butler, and the other savage brute M‘Neil, if still
unhanged, and the rest of the vicious beasts, of whom
there are too many, in the shape of Eederal officers.
It must, however, be feared, that no means which Mr.
Rarev can employ to “gentle” such ruffians will be
effectual in rendering them anything like gentlemen.
BUTLER IN BODILY EEAR.
We trust that the following statement in the Times.
about General Butler, is founded on correct infor-
mation :—
“ His personal safety is so precarious that, like other great
tyrants, he has ‘ tasters ’ to prove the harmlessness of his entries
and ragouts, and the innocence of his wines, wears a bullet and
dagger-proof coat of mail under his uniform, and sleeps with re-
volvers at his pillow, and armed sentinels at his door, to prevent
midnight assassination.”
How pleasing to know that the Yankee Haynau lives
in continual fear for the life which he deserves to lose!
But it is to be hoped that nobody will assassinate him;
because, if half of the tales of his atrocities are true, his
blood ought not to be shed by bullet or dagger, or curdled
with complimentary poison. Butler’s circulation should
be arrested by a legal ligature; at least if it is right that
the law should be finished by that means on the person of
any malefactor or monster. Judith would not have cut
Holofernes’s head off if she had any reasonable expec-
tation that he would come to be hanged. So, long live
General Butler, in dread of assassination with the pro-
bability of the gallows looming in the distance! Butlers
die many times before their deaths; so let them, and serve
them right.
THE LESSON OE THE YEAR.
“ Go hence, ill Year, with robes that reek of war,
Hands that struck down the labour of our North;
My curse go after thee beyond the door
That darkens at thy ghastly going forth.
“ Away, foul beldame! give the Young Year room.
What he is like none who await him know;
At worst his looks will mend thy face of doom.
Worse year than thou, the world can never know.”
The Old Year on the threshold paused and turned,
Red stains were thick upon the shroud she wore,
An awful light in the sunk eye-balls glared
That looked upon me from the darkened door.
And thin and hollow-sounding, as from far,
„ A voice came to me, sad at once and stern’:
ho art thou, that arraign’st, at thy blind bar
lhe Power who guides the million orbs that burn
“ 4b?ut sphere, where thy poor life is past.
Ephemeral, in ephemeral grief or glee,
That ban and. blessing, like a child, dares’t cast,
On years that owe not an account to thee ?
God’s chastisements and bounties is it thine
To measure with thy staff; weigh with thy brains ?
I work His bidding : His the will not mine ;
Know I how ill dies out, and good remains ?
“ But ev’n with reverent judgment, meet for man.
Marking the doings of the twelve months gone.
The root of blessing in my bitterest ban
Methinks e’en thy poor wisdom might have known.
“ Erom civil war’s high-heaped and festering grave.
By means unguessed of those who fight or rule.
Grows, slow but sure, the freedom of the slave,
While human foresight gapes, a baffled fool.
“ In War’s rude gripe, what lies, which stoutest thrust
Of Peace, and all her train, could never shake.
Are shattered into rottenness and dust—
What powers of unguessed nobleness awake !
“ What lessons are made clear by War’s red light
To those who fight and those who watch the strife!
Out of the soil swept bare by battle’s blight
What seeds of new strength sudden leap to life !
“ Eor cotton-dearth, with pain and misery rife.
The blessing bidden in it all must own,
Who see how suffering calls love to life,
How of endurance comes a strength unknown.
“ Then curse me not, but bless me; there is balm
Eor every bruise that God inflicts on earth;
His ways are in the storm, as in the calm,
In war and misery, as in peace and mirth.”
Taking Conundrum.
(BY SIR GEORGE GREY.)
Wiiat is the difference between a Thug and a Garotter? The one is
a black choker, whilst the other is a white choker.
THE DISTRICT TELEGRAPH.
♦ INVALUABLE TO THE MAN OF BUSINESS.
First Partner {to Second ditto). “ What an age we live in ! Talk oe the
INTRODUCTION OE STEAM OR OF GaS ! JUST LOOK AT THE FACILITIES AFFORDED US
by Electricity. It is now Six o’clock, and we are in Fleet Street, and this
Message was only sent from Oxford Street yesterday afternoon at Three ! ”
THE FEDERAL BRUTE-TAMER.
Amongst a class of Americans, not so numerous as
select, is Mr. Rarey. _ The many well-wishers of this
their American Rarity will have been glad to meet with the
following satisfactory account of him in reading their Times:
“ An Old Friend in a New Place.—Mr. Rarey, the horse-
tamer, has been appointed Commissioner of Horses in the Federal
States. His first official act was to go to the Army of the Potomac
under Burnside. There he inquired fully into the health of the horses,
and has adopted a new system to check the mortality among them.”
We rejoice in the assurance, derivable from the above
statement, that Mr. Rarey is, as our bumpkins say,
alive and kicking, whilst he is teaching wild horses not
to kick. When he has succeeded in putting the horses
of the Army of the Potomac to rights, perhaps Abraham
Lincoln will commission him to try his hand at taming
Butler, and the other savage brute M‘Neil, if still
unhanged, and the rest of the vicious beasts, of whom
there are too many, in the shape of Eederal officers.
It must, however, be feared, that no means which Mr.
Rarev can employ to “gentle” such ruffians will be
effectual in rendering them anything like gentlemen.
BUTLER IN BODILY EEAR.
We trust that the following statement in the Times.
about General Butler, is founded on correct infor-
mation :—
“ His personal safety is so precarious that, like other great
tyrants, he has ‘ tasters ’ to prove the harmlessness of his entries
and ragouts, and the innocence of his wines, wears a bullet and
dagger-proof coat of mail under his uniform, and sleeps with re-
volvers at his pillow, and armed sentinels at his door, to prevent
midnight assassination.”
How pleasing to know that the Yankee Haynau lives
in continual fear for the life which he deserves to lose!
But it is to be hoped that nobody will assassinate him;
because, if half of the tales of his atrocities are true, his
blood ought not to be shed by bullet or dagger, or curdled
with complimentary poison. Butler’s circulation should
be arrested by a legal ligature; at least if it is right that
the law should be finished by that means on the person of
any malefactor or monster. Judith would not have cut
Holofernes’s head off if she had any reasonable expec-
tation that he would come to be hanged. So, long live
General Butler, in dread of assassination with the pro-
bability of the gallows looming in the distance! Butlers
die many times before their deaths; so let them, and serve
them right.
THE LESSON OE THE YEAR.
“ Go hence, ill Year, with robes that reek of war,
Hands that struck down the labour of our North;
My curse go after thee beyond the door
That darkens at thy ghastly going forth.
“ Away, foul beldame! give the Young Year room.
What he is like none who await him know;
At worst his looks will mend thy face of doom.
Worse year than thou, the world can never know.”
The Old Year on the threshold paused and turned,
Red stains were thick upon the shroud she wore,
An awful light in the sunk eye-balls glared
That looked upon me from the darkened door.
And thin and hollow-sounding, as from far,
„ A voice came to me, sad at once and stern’:
ho art thou, that arraign’st, at thy blind bar
lhe Power who guides the million orbs that burn
“ 4b?ut sphere, where thy poor life is past.
Ephemeral, in ephemeral grief or glee,
That ban and. blessing, like a child, dares’t cast,
On years that owe not an account to thee ?
God’s chastisements and bounties is it thine
To measure with thy staff; weigh with thy brains ?
I work His bidding : His the will not mine ;
Know I how ill dies out, and good remains ?
“ But ev’n with reverent judgment, meet for man.
Marking the doings of the twelve months gone.
The root of blessing in my bitterest ban
Methinks e’en thy poor wisdom might have known.
“ Erom civil war’s high-heaped and festering grave.
By means unguessed of those who fight or rule.
Grows, slow but sure, the freedom of the slave,
While human foresight gapes, a baffled fool.
“ In War’s rude gripe, what lies, which stoutest thrust
Of Peace, and all her train, could never shake.
Are shattered into rottenness and dust—
What powers of unguessed nobleness awake !
“ What lessons are made clear by War’s red light
To those who fight and those who watch the strife!
Out of the soil swept bare by battle’s blight
What seeds of new strength sudden leap to life !
“ Eor cotton-dearth, with pain and misery rife.
The blessing bidden in it all must own,
Who see how suffering calls love to life,
How of endurance comes a strength unknown.
“ Then curse me not, but bless me; there is balm
Eor every bruise that God inflicts on earth;
His ways are in the storm, as in the calm,
In war and misery, as in peace and mirth.”
Taking Conundrum.
(BY SIR GEORGE GREY.)
Wiiat is the difference between a Thug and a Garotter? The one is
a black choker, whilst the other is a white choker.