DOI Heft:
April 4, 1863
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16871#0144
AraiL 4, 1863.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 131
Master Tom. “ Oh, don't I just wish T was a Nigger, like him."
Nurse. “ What for, you naughty Boy ? ”
Master Tom. “ 'Cause then, I slumld never have to be washed ! 1"
THE MAJORITY AGAINST MR. HUBBARD.
{A Chorus for the Commons.)
Go away, wretched Clerks, who subsist by the pen,
Go, Curates, and Lawyers, and Medical Men,
Actors, Authors, and Artists; go, plague us no more
With your Income-Tax grievance: we vote you a bore.
What of loss of employment, or labour in vain
With a paralysed liana or a broken-down brain ?
With your income the tax on your income will cease;
Be content, there are no shears the skinned that can fleece.
Lo, beggar, bereft, by adversity’s shock,
Of the gains that accrue to your neighbour from Stock,
There that man in his carriage goes rolling away,
With a tax on his income—and you’ve none to pay !
Go, talk to the winds, sad professional crew;
Go, plead to the waves; ye are weak, ye are few.
With the rich and the rabble against you combined,
As remonstrance is vain, you had best be resigned.
And if your assessment were rather unfair.
It would rest with yourselves of yourselves to take care;
’Tis as easy as lying; the normal resource
Of the feeble against the exaction of force.
What you must, whilst you can, pay; when poverty comes.
Then retire to the workhouse; or die in the slums.
’Tis no business of ours that you money should save
For the widow and orphan who ’ll howl on your grave.
Poles and Romans, Pope and Czar.
We congratulate Mr. Pope Hennessy on the zeal and
energy wherewith he has come out as the champion of the
Poles, and on the discovery, which, by his advocacy of
their cause, he appears to have made, that an oppressed
people has a right to cast off the yoke of a tyranny. Mr.
Hennessy, now that he has taken the side of Langie-
wicz, must of course have also espoused that of Garibaldi,
and will henceforth recognise the right of the Roman people
to choose their own Sovereign.
PUNCH’S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
March 23. Monday. Lords and Commons have had American debates
this week, and it is convenient to Mr. Punch to bracket the same. Lord
Campbell, alias Stratheden (for the reporters vary his title), to-day
advocated the recognition of the Confederate States. Earl Russell
wished the war over, but saw nothing which England could do towards
terminating it. The French attempt had failed. The cause of the
North was not hopeless, though he did not believe that the Federals
would finally subdue the South. Still, the North was making immense
efforts, and it would be unfriendly in us now to interpose by recogni-
tion. Moreover, whenever we have interfered in a quarrel it has been
on the side of liberty, and we ought to adhere to that precedent. So
saith our Foreign Secretary.
Mr. Forster, on the Friday, attacked the Government for not inter-
fering to prevent ships of war being supplied by our builders to the
Confederates, and said that we incurred great danger of war. The
Solicitor-General argued in what Pam called an admirable speech
(the House cheered this), that Government had done all that was re-
quired by the Foreign Enlistment Act. Mr. Thomas Baring thought
this speech would add to Yankee irritation. Mr. Bright concurred,
denounced the Government, said that several ships were notoriously
being built for the South, and urged Pam to talk for five minutes in a
genial and friendly way, in order to please the North. Mr. Laird
showed that if we had helped the South to two ships, we had sent
350,000 rifles and quantities of other munitions of war to the North.
Lord Palmerston said that it was the regular device of every American
Party, when it was in a mess, to get up an anti-English cry, that we
bad done all that the law permitted, and should not go beyond it, and
that the best thing the English friends of the North could do, would be
to assure the latter that England had done her duty. So saith our
Premier.
Here it may be mentioned, that Mr. Bright alluded, in his speech,
to a meeting held the day before at the St. James’s Hall, where hehaa
been in the chair, and a crowded assembly of workmen testified the
utmost sympathy with the North. This meeting is grandiloquently
described by the Yankee organ here, but shall describe itself for Mr.
Punch's readers. It was chiefly composed of Trades-Union men, and
when a person who had chosen to be free and act for himself ventured
to speak, although on the same side as the other orators, these lovers
of liberty interrupted him with cries of “He’s not a Society man!”
Mr. Bright made a fervid and eloquent speech in favour of the North,
and a shoemaker came next, who abused Mr. Punch, said “ that a
monster in human shape had been guest of the Lord Mayor,” and
that “ the Devil, in the shape of the limes newspaper, was carrying out
an infernal purpose.” A joiner then called Lord Palmerston a liar,
and a Professor Beestley, or some such name, attacked the “ wicked
press,” meaning the respectable journals. An address to Mr. Lincoln
was agreed to, assailing the “infamous Times," the “arrogant
aristocracy,” the “diabolical” South, our “unscrupulous moneyocracy,”
and the “infamous rebellion,” and terminating with some gushing bosh
about the vivifying Sun of Liberty. This document is penned in New
York Herald style, and probably owes its origin to Yankee inspiration.
To this kind of meeting, and this kind of language. Mr. Bright
referred, complacently, in the House of Commons. The North must
be in a bad way when such allies are coveted.
So much for the American debates of the week, and now for
pleasanter matter. The Duke of Somerset is going to protect
Greenwich Observatory against the railway people, which may be as
well, for the slightest joggling of a telescope may occasion a blunder in
the ’Nautical Almanack, and a Great Eastern may consequently be sent
upon a rock—rather a sacrifice for the sake of enabling the servant-
maids of Chatham to come and play kiss-in-the-ring in Greenwich
Park.
The financial cat is to be let out of the Gladstonian budget on
Shakspeare’s birthday, in honour whereof we are probably to have
Much Ado About Nothing, to be followed by the Tempest, and the
Comedy of Errors.
Tuesday. There is a Post Office Savings’ Banks Amendment Bill in
hand, touching which Mr. Punch has nothing to say, except that he
does not much admire the present system of acknowledging deposits
by letters to the depositor. The well-known official form proclaims to
Master Tom. “ Oh, don't I just wish T was a Nigger, like him."
Nurse. “ What for, you naughty Boy ? ”
Master Tom. “ 'Cause then, I slumld never have to be washed ! 1"
THE MAJORITY AGAINST MR. HUBBARD.
{A Chorus for the Commons.)
Go away, wretched Clerks, who subsist by the pen,
Go, Curates, and Lawyers, and Medical Men,
Actors, Authors, and Artists; go, plague us no more
With your Income-Tax grievance: we vote you a bore.
What of loss of employment, or labour in vain
With a paralysed liana or a broken-down brain ?
With your income the tax on your income will cease;
Be content, there are no shears the skinned that can fleece.
Lo, beggar, bereft, by adversity’s shock,
Of the gains that accrue to your neighbour from Stock,
There that man in his carriage goes rolling away,
With a tax on his income—and you’ve none to pay !
Go, talk to the winds, sad professional crew;
Go, plead to the waves; ye are weak, ye are few.
With the rich and the rabble against you combined,
As remonstrance is vain, you had best be resigned.
And if your assessment were rather unfair.
It would rest with yourselves of yourselves to take care;
’Tis as easy as lying; the normal resource
Of the feeble against the exaction of force.
What you must, whilst you can, pay; when poverty comes.
Then retire to the workhouse; or die in the slums.
’Tis no business of ours that you money should save
For the widow and orphan who ’ll howl on your grave.
Poles and Romans, Pope and Czar.
We congratulate Mr. Pope Hennessy on the zeal and
energy wherewith he has come out as the champion of the
Poles, and on the discovery, which, by his advocacy of
their cause, he appears to have made, that an oppressed
people has a right to cast off the yoke of a tyranny. Mr.
Hennessy, now that he has taken the side of Langie-
wicz, must of course have also espoused that of Garibaldi,
and will henceforth recognise the right of the Roman people
to choose their own Sovereign.
PUNCH’S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
March 23. Monday. Lords and Commons have had American debates
this week, and it is convenient to Mr. Punch to bracket the same. Lord
Campbell, alias Stratheden (for the reporters vary his title), to-day
advocated the recognition of the Confederate States. Earl Russell
wished the war over, but saw nothing which England could do towards
terminating it. The French attempt had failed. The cause of the
North was not hopeless, though he did not believe that the Federals
would finally subdue the South. Still, the North was making immense
efforts, and it would be unfriendly in us now to interpose by recogni-
tion. Moreover, whenever we have interfered in a quarrel it has been
on the side of liberty, and we ought to adhere to that precedent. So
saith our Foreign Secretary.
Mr. Forster, on the Friday, attacked the Government for not inter-
fering to prevent ships of war being supplied by our builders to the
Confederates, and said that we incurred great danger of war. The
Solicitor-General argued in what Pam called an admirable speech
(the House cheered this), that Government had done all that was re-
quired by the Foreign Enlistment Act. Mr. Thomas Baring thought
this speech would add to Yankee irritation. Mr. Bright concurred,
denounced the Government, said that several ships were notoriously
being built for the South, and urged Pam to talk for five minutes in a
genial and friendly way, in order to please the North. Mr. Laird
showed that if we had helped the South to two ships, we had sent
350,000 rifles and quantities of other munitions of war to the North.
Lord Palmerston said that it was the regular device of every American
Party, when it was in a mess, to get up an anti-English cry, that we
bad done all that the law permitted, and should not go beyond it, and
that the best thing the English friends of the North could do, would be
to assure the latter that England had done her duty. So saith our
Premier.
Here it may be mentioned, that Mr. Bright alluded, in his speech,
to a meeting held the day before at the St. James’s Hall, where hehaa
been in the chair, and a crowded assembly of workmen testified the
utmost sympathy with the North. This meeting is grandiloquently
described by the Yankee organ here, but shall describe itself for Mr.
Punch's readers. It was chiefly composed of Trades-Union men, and
when a person who had chosen to be free and act for himself ventured
to speak, although on the same side as the other orators, these lovers
of liberty interrupted him with cries of “He’s not a Society man!”
Mr. Bright made a fervid and eloquent speech in favour of the North,
and a shoemaker came next, who abused Mr. Punch, said “ that a
monster in human shape had been guest of the Lord Mayor,” and
that “ the Devil, in the shape of the limes newspaper, was carrying out
an infernal purpose.” A joiner then called Lord Palmerston a liar,
and a Professor Beestley, or some such name, attacked the “ wicked
press,” meaning the respectable journals. An address to Mr. Lincoln
was agreed to, assailing the “infamous Times," the “arrogant
aristocracy,” the “diabolical” South, our “unscrupulous moneyocracy,”
and the “infamous rebellion,” and terminating with some gushing bosh
about the vivifying Sun of Liberty. This document is penned in New
York Herald style, and probably owes its origin to Yankee inspiration.
To this kind of meeting, and this kind of language. Mr. Bright
referred, complacently, in the House of Commons. The North must
be in a bad way when such allies are coveted.
So much for the American debates of the week, and now for
pleasanter matter. The Duke of Somerset is going to protect
Greenwich Observatory against the railway people, which may be as
well, for the slightest joggling of a telescope may occasion a blunder in
the ’Nautical Almanack, and a Great Eastern may consequently be sent
upon a rock—rather a sacrifice for the sake of enabling the servant-
maids of Chatham to come and play kiss-in-the-ring in Greenwich
Park.
The financial cat is to be let out of the Gladstonian budget on
Shakspeare’s birthday, in honour whereof we are probably to have
Much Ado About Nothing, to be followed by the Tempest, and the
Comedy of Errors.
Tuesday. There is a Post Office Savings’ Banks Amendment Bill in
hand, touching which Mr. Punch has nothing to say, except that he
does not much admire the present system of acknowledging deposits
by letters to the depositor. The well-known official form proclaims to