Punch (44.1863)

June ,13, 1863 1

239

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

THE CURRENCY.

POOR POET CLOSE.

The Poet Close we’ve often chaffed,
And bantered sundry times,

Much at his tuneful measures laughed,
And joked upon his rhymes ;

Which when we did, we did not know
That Poet Close was poor,

For then we should not have done so,
As we shall do no more.

Unless we find, what’s like enough,
And what will please us well.

Our pen has served his works to puff.
And make his poems sell;

Then shall we do as we have done,

That people more may buy,

And always go on making fun
Of Close’s poetry.

Oh ! then shall Poet Close provide
Continual sport for us,

Whenever he shall take a ride
Upon his Pegasus.

But scantily lives he, who fares
Upon the Muses’ steed ;

The Kendal Mercury declares
The Poet is in need.

A wife and children to maintain
On poetry, is hard ;

A struggle ’tis their bread to gain
For Kirkbv-Stephen’s Bard.

He has a book just coming out,
Concerning Westmorland,

And after what we’ve said, no doubt,

A sale it will command.

Whate’er the Poet’s work may prove.
When Time shall give it birth,

At least it will some laughter move,
And cause exceeding mirth.

But though that volume’s purpose may
Be serious or jocose,

This Punch will for its author say ;
Success to Poet Close.

Our Linkman (aiter the departure of the last Carriage). “ Well, if ever that there
Decimal C’vnage comes into hoperation, I re'lly 'ope Clover ment ’ll 'bolish these ’ere
rubbishm Thruppenny Bits I"

Literary Curiosity. — It is somewhat remarkable,
that one of Literature’s greatest friends was De Foe.

THE NAGGLETONS ON THE DRAWING-ROOM.

Mr. and Mrs. Naggleton in their own Drawing-room are beheld, like
Ferdinand and Miranda, playing at chess, to ichich, to Ferdi
nand’s astonishment, Miranda has gaily challenged him. Mrs.
Naggleton, in emulation of Ala. Paul Morphy, is playing two
games at once, but not by any means blindfold.

Mr. Naggleton. Check to your Queen.

Mrs. Naggleton. 0, Henry ! Now, that is very artful of you. How
well you are playing! My belief is that you are getting practice some-
where out of the house, and that is not fair.

Mr. N. I have never touched a chessman since we played last. Do
you mean to lose her ?

Mrs. N. No, no, dear, only give me time. I can’t think as fast as
you do, with your arithmetical old head. And you have fortified every
point. I think, if I could spare you, that you ought to go out and help
the Federals.

Mr. N. You have rather crowded up the Queen, my dear. She’s
quite holding a levde with those bishops and knights.

Mrs. N. Now that’s very funny, Henry. I call that true wit, which
you can talk when you like. I must remember that, and tell it to dear
Lady Pugbdry.

Mr. N. Dear, is she P Pug was, and almost extortionate, when he
kept the china-shop, and before he got knighted.

Mrs. N. My dear Henry, it was a wonderful porcelain manufactory,
and I have heard you say that there can be no more honourable way of
rising than by commerce.

Mr. N. Yes. But Pug was a humbug, and lived on other people’s
brains; and she’s another, and I wonder you haven’t found her
out.

Mrs. N. Perhaps I have, after your hints. But she is good-natured,
and I am sure it was very kind of her to offer to present me.

Mr. N. With what—tea cups, or soup plates?

Mrs. N. {laughing). My dear, I come to you for all I want. I mean
she has promised to present me at Court.

Mr. N. {gasping). Present you !

Mrs. N. Yes, me. Why not, Henry ?

Mr. N. You be presented at Court ?

Mrs. N. Why not, I wonder ? I suppose that I—(mends her hand)—
I suppose that the wife of Henry Naggleton is a proper person to
be received there, or anywhere else that he chooses to send her.

Mr. N. {rather hit too). But, my dear Maria—0, come, this is rather
too ridiculous. If there were no other objection—and you can’t be
serious about it—you have no carriage, and the omnibus hasn’t the
entree.

Mrs. N. What a funny picture you imagine. You really ought to
send it to Punch. I declare it would be capital. But there would be
no difficulty and no expense, at least for the carriage, for her Ladyship
would take me. I arranged that.

Mr. N. Your Queen is in check, Maria.

Mrs. N. Well, dear, she won’t run away while. I speak to you. I
want to consult you about my dress, and about jewels, because when
you will condescend to give your mind to such things, you hit out a
practical suggestion at once, and you do save me such a deal of trouble.
What’s the use of a husband, if he is not to assist one with his know-
ledge and decision ?

Mr. N. My dear Maria, you can’t say that I oppose any reasonable
idea of yours, but what on earth do you want to go to the Palace for P

Mrs. N. Wiiy, I think we owe something to ourselves.

Mr. N. Let us continue to owe it—ourselves are indulgent creditors.

Mrs. N. You make me laugh, but it isn’t an argument, dear. I con-
fess I liave some curiosity, and I should like to see the scene.

Mr. N. It’s all iu the Illustrated News, where the women are hand-
somer and the men more majestic, I dare say, than in reality.

Mrs. N. No, no, that’s nonsense. And 1 think that all persons of a
certain station, like your wife’s, should manifest their respect for the
Heir Apparent to the Throne, and to his bride, by attending at least
once.