DOI Heft:
May 16, 1863
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16871#0204
May 16, 1863 i
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
197
Bus Driver (scornfully to his Conductor) “ D' ye hear ! Near side, Ge'tleman
prefers the Oven ! ”
EXHIBITION OF SOFTHORNS.
Divers Petitions against the sale of intoxicating liquors on Sunday were pre-
sented to the House of Commons the other evening from sundry places, by
Honourable Members; one such petition—
“ By Mr. G. Lanqton, from the Congregation of Free Methodists of Milk Street Chapel, Bristol)
and the inhabitants of Oldland Common, Gloucestershire.”
Free Methodists are unworthy of their denomination, when they try to impose
sectarian restraints on members of other denominations. They should respect
the Christian liberty claimed by Excursionists in the matter of procuring refresh-
ment on Sundays. It is to be feared that these Methodists of Milk Street are
not yet weaned from that milk which is proper for babes; let them stick to
the nourishment suitable to infancy; but not cry to have adults, on any day of the
week, deprived of strong meat and beer. The Free Methodists of Milk Street should
be content with the freedom of enjoying their own spoon-meat, and of being milk-
sops if they please. What right have they to demand that other people shall be
confined to proceed in their milk-walk, when those other people prefer their own
way, without any curds, to which milk is turned by acid fanaticism ? As to
their fellow petitioners, the inhabitants of Oldland Common, Gloucestershire, they
are evidently fit to be stuffed with sage and onions.
Another such petition was presented
“ By Viscount Curxon, from Slieepy Magna and Sheepy Parva.”
The petitioners for a Sabbatarian Act, who inhabit Sheepy Magna and Sheepy
Parva, may be conjectured to be sheep of that peculiar breed which rejoices
in a Stiggint for Shepherd. Silly sheep ! The same remarks are naturally sug-
gested by a similar petition presented from an evidently similar locality, viz.:—
“ By Mr. Baines, from Clough Fold.”
The sheep of this fold also have evidently got the staggers, arising from water on
the brain. The water they drink gets into their heads, ana that is why they want
to deprive us, every Sunday, of our beer.
The cackle from the Common above named also had its consonance addressed
to the Collective Wisdom—which will be the Collective Foolishness if it listens
to anything of the kind—
“ By Mr. Dillwyn, from Swansea.”
Mk. Dillwyn’s Swans are clearly Geese.
SOMES’S THREATENED SUNDAY.
{To Monsieur Voisin.)
Monsieur, you envy John Bull his free Press,
Which dares, unchecked, the Government attack,
Although it must—the Judges rule no less—
Not impute quackery to a glaring quack.
Aha! Monsieur, so we enjoy, you see,
A very great deal too much liberty.
Therefore some busy friends of this John Bull,
Called “ Ministers of all Denominations,”
And other drolls, of zeal officious full,
Wish to set limits to his recreations.
But most, severely to restrict his way
Of passing through his Sunday holiday.
They’ve shut his own Museum in his face;
They’ve locked up his own pictures from his view;
But, harder still is Brother Sawney's case.
Excluded from Botanic Gardens, too.
Oh, sin to gaze on foliage coming out!
Plants should on Sunday cease to bloom, no doubt.
And now, Monsieur, these serious buffoons,
Who do the funniest things with gravest faces,
As though possessed with Forbes Mackenzie’s lunes,
With dismal groans and dolorous grimaces,
John Bull, on Sundays, woefully implore
Against himself to close the tavern-door.
Because some brutes are steeped in gin and beer,
Exceptions to the British Workmen’s class,
They bid him suffer them to interfere
Between his thirsty lips and moderate glass,
Crying, “ Oh, save the Workman from his Pot! ”
As if the British Workman were a sot.
Fancy yourself, Monsieur, some Sunday fair,
(After you have performed your sacred duties),
Having walked out intent lo breathe fresh air,
And feast your eyes upon the country’s beauties,
You seek a restaurant’s—you cannot dine ;
They must not let you have a drop of wine !
And this is what John Bull, where’er he roams,
On Sundays, in his thirst and perspiration,
Is asked to stand by pious Mr. Somes,
Proposing Sabbatarian legislation,
Who represents teetotal prigs, combined
With coxcombs of the sanctimonious kind.
Drunkenness is decreasing every day ;
These meddlers might leave well enough alone:
But troublesome attention needs must pay
To public morals—let them mind their own,
Wherein there may be room for much improvement.
But their life’s love is in a fussy “movement.”
At meetings, therefore, they harangue and spout,
And head processions, hoisting flags and banners,
And still, endeavour, as they go about,
At regulating others’ ways and manners.
Monsieur, if Parliament their measure pass,
Say, will not Parliament be one great Ass ?
A Terrible Revenge.
Take care of your Times, reader; it will soon become
a rarity, and only to be purchased of a trafficker in curio-
sities. Do you say—why so? Why, is it not announced
{vide Daily Telegraph) that, because the Times supports the
Police Amalgamation Bill, the Corporation of the City,
in their vengeance, have resolved that their advertise-
ments in future be excluded from that paper. We repeat
it therefore, reader, take care of your Times. Surely after
such a blow, its life must soon become extinct.
ornithological query.
To what species of Birds does the Round Robin belong ?
We have been unable to obtain any information upon this
point, but to a Correspondent’s question as to what. is the
name of the Female Partridge, we must say that his own
common sense would at once have told him, Ma’-tridge.
Vcl. 44.
7
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
197
Bus Driver (scornfully to his Conductor) “ D' ye hear ! Near side, Ge'tleman
prefers the Oven ! ”
EXHIBITION OF SOFTHORNS.
Divers Petitions against the sale of intoxicating liquors on Sunday were pre-
sented to the House of Commons the other evening from sundry places, by
Honourable Members; one such petition—
“ By Mr. G. Lanqton, from the Congregation of Free Methodists of Milk Street Chapel, Bristol)
and the inhabitants of Oldland Common, Gloucestershire.”
Free Methodists are unworthy of their denomination, when they try to impose
sectarian restraints on members of other denominations. They should respect
the Christian liberty claimed by Excursionists in the matter of procuring refresh-
ment on Sundays. It is to be feared that these Methodists of Milk Street are
not yet weaned from that milk which is proper for babes; let them stick to
the nourishment suitable to infancy; but not cry to have adults, on any day of the
week, deprived of strong meat and beer. The Free Methodists of Milk Street should
be content with the freedom of enjoying their own spoon-meat, and of being milk-
sops if they please. What right have they to demand that other people shall be
confined to proceed in their milk-walk, when those other people prefer their own
way, without any curds, to which milk is turned by acid fanaticism ? As to
their fellow petitioners, the inhabitants of Oldland Common, Gloucestershire, they
are evidently fit to be stuffed with sage and onions.
Another such petition was presented
“ By Viscount Curxon, from Slieepy Magna and Sheepy Parva.”
The petitioners for a Sabbatarian Act, who inhabit Sheepy Magna and Sheepy
Parva, may be conjectured to be sheep of that peculiar breed which rejoices
in a Stiggint for Shepherd. Silly sheep ! The same remarks are naturally sug-
gested by a similar petition presented from an evidently similar locality, viz.:—
“ By Mr. Baines, from Clough Fold.”
The sheep of this fold also have evidently got the staggers, arising from water on
the brain. The water they drink gets into their heads, ana that is why they want
to deprive us, every Sunday, of our beer.
The cackle from the Common above named also had its consonance addressed
to the Collective Wisdom—which will be the Collective Foolishness if it listens
to anything of the kind—
“ By Mr. Dillwyn, from Swansea.”
Mk. Dillwyn’s Swans are clearly Geese.
SOMES’S THREATENED SUNDAY.
{To Monsieur Voisin.)
Monsieur, you envy John Bull his free Press,
Which dares, unchecked, the Government attack,
Although it must—the Judges rule no less—
Not impute quackery to a glaring quack.
Aha! Monsieur, so we enjoy, you see,
A very great deal too much liberty.
Therefore some busy friends of this John Bull,
Called “ Ministers of all Denominations,”
And other drolls, of zeal officious full,
Wish to set limits to his recreations.
But most, severely to restrict his way
Of passing through his Sunday holiday.
They’ve shut his own Museum in his face;
They’ve locked up his own pictures from his view;
But, harder still is Brother Sawney's case.
Excluded from Botanic Gardens, too.
Oh, sin to gaze on foliage coming out!
Plants should on Sunday cease to bloom, no doubt.
And now, Monsieur, these serious buffoons,
Who do the funniest things with gravest faces,
As though possessed with Forbes Mackenzie’s lunes,
With dismal groans and dolorous grimaces,
John Bull, on Sundays, woefully implore
Against himself to close the tavern-door.
Because some brutes are steeped in gin and beer,
Exceptions to the British Workmen’s class,
They bid him suffer them to interfere
Between his thirsty lips and moderate glass,
Crying, “ Oh, save the Workman from his Pot! ”
As if the British Workman were a sot.
Fancy yourself, Monsieur, some Sunday fair,
(After you have performed your sacred duties),
Having walked out intent lo breathe fresh air,
And feast your eyes upon the country’s beauties,
You seek a restaurant’s—you cannot dine ;
They must not let you have a drop of wine !
And this is what John Bull, where’er he roams,
On Sundays, in his thirst and perspiration,
Is asked to stand by pious Mr. Somes,
Proposing Sabbatarian legislation,
Who represents teetotal prigs, combined
With coxcombs of the sanctimonious kind.
Drunkenness is decreasing every day ;
These meddlers might leave well enough alone:
But troublesome attention needs must pay
To public morals—let them mind their own,
Wherein there may be room for much improvement.
But their life’s love is in a fussy “movement.”
At meetings, therefore, they harangue and spout,
And head processions, hoisting flags and banners,
And still, endeavour, as they go about,
At regulating others’ ways and manners.
Monsieur, if Parliament their measure pass,
Say, will not Parliament be one great Ass ?
A Terrible Revenge.
Take care of your Times, reader; it will soon become
a rarity, and only to be purchased of a trafficker in curio-
sities. Do you say—why so? Why, is it not announced
{vide Daily Telegraph) that, because the Times supports the
Police Amalgamation Bill, the Corporation of the City,
in their vengeance, have resolved that their advertise-
ments in future be excluded from that paper. We repeat
it therefore, reader, take care of your Times. Surely after
such a blow, its life must soon become extinct.
ornithological query.
To what species of Birds does the Round Robin belong ?
We have been unable to obtain any information upon this
point, but to a Correspondent’s question as to what. is the
name of the Female Partridge, we must say that his own
common sense would at once have told him, Ma’-tridge.
Vcl. 44.
7