DOI Heft:
June 6, 1863
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16871#0234
June 6, 1863.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
227
SHAKSPEARE IN THE CITY.
“ Who is Silvia—what is she f ”
W ho is Goschen, what is he
That City swells commend him P
Somebody he ought to be,
II the City send him
Where it sends without rebuke,
Crawford, Rothschild, and Sir Duke.
Joachim’s his “Christian” name,
But, German seems his surname,
Yet at Oxford he had fame,
Isis lends him her name
To back the gentle Goschen’s claim.
To help the nation’s laws to frame.
Well, he seems a nice young man.
Thirty is his figure ;
He may sit till London can
Find some buffer bigger,
Than this decent Mr. G.
To be proud London’s fourth M.P.
Old Gentleman. “ Look here, I'm rather in a hurry ! where are your assistants ?"
Hairdresser. “ Why, they ’re both dyeing, Sir/ ”
Old Gentleman. “ Lord bless my soul 1 Dying!! I”
Hairdresser. “• Yes, Sir; one’s dyeing a lady s'air hupstairs and the liother's engaged with
a pair o' hauburn lohiskers in the next room, "
Classical Music.
It is not generally known that the words of the
sweet ballad, “ Home sweet Home," were originally
written several thousand years ago in the Greek
language. In consequence of this composition
the author was called “Homer ! sweet Homer ! ”
and t bis same gentleman subsequently wrote the
Iliad, which is, as everybody is now aware, a
lament over the Poet’s personal wrongs, founded
upon an imaginary ill he had suffered. Hence
the title.
Feat of Strength.
A Short Gentleman, we allude to his stature
and not the state of his finances, who had unfor-
tunately contracted the habit of stooping, wishing
to obtain a glimpse of the Princess, managed,
by a gigantic effort, to hold himself up as the
Royal Couple were passing. He has been slightly
elevated ever since.
One Way of Giving a Man a chance of
Rising in the World.—Knock him down.
A PEEP INTO PETLAND.
Mr.Wood’s Book, entitled Glimpses into Petland, has put the little
pets into a great passion. The domesticated animals complain of gross
misrepresentation, and among the numerous letters which we have
received from funny and cunning dogs, sly pusses, and others, we select
the following epistle for publication. Its authoress is a Tabby of some
eminence in Petland, and the postmark informs us that it comes from
Hearth-Rugby : —
“ Dear Mr Punch,
“I cannot bring these feline few lines to you myself, because
your favourite Toby is scarcely civil to members of our family, loby
or not Toby is the question for me, if I came to your house, and Tabby
or not, Tabby would make no difference to that otherwise sagacious
animal. I regret that we, as a race, are not understood. Does
Mr. J. G. Wood fathom us? not a bit of it. Illogical men, this
author among them, dare to say that, we cannot (what they call)
‘speak,’ because they, forsooth, are unable to interpret our language.
Now, Sir, we cats have a smattering of Greek and Latin. I will give
an instance in point, illustrating our acquaintance with the Greek
alphabet. Has no one ever heard us say Mu? Perhaps, to many, this
interpretation of Mu is new ? I would remind you, also, that, as every
horrid school-boy—ugh—knows, the name of a first-rate cat is Moi/cra, or
as in English, Mouser ; and, if this fact does not, clearly connect us with
Clio, Melpomene, and their sisters, I know not what, will. This leads me
to protest against being invariably called by any title but that which of
right belongs to me. My name is Tabitha, corrupted into simple Tab.
I don’t object to that; but I am expected to answer to such names as
Tiddleums, Tittimums, Kittenums, Tittikms, and others terminating
in * urns ’ and ‘ ins,’ and I have been addressed by the person in whose
house I am residing, as ‘ Tiddlepops,’ And yet this misguided crea-
ture actually thinks that such nonsense is pleasing to me ! But what
rubs my fur the wrong way is the charge of deceit and ingratitude
brought against us. It is said that, while we are being stroked we
suddenly put out our claws and scratch our best friend. Let me
explain : I own to a partiality for having my head mesmerically
scratched by a hand : well, naturally concluding that the same
pleasureable sensation would be experienced by any one scratched
by me, I experimentalised upon the young lady in whose lap I was
lying. Sir, 1 was dropped—as I have seen our butler drop a hot plate
—1 was slapped, I was kicked, abused, reviled, maltreated, and finally
turned out of the drawing-room. Am T not warranted in concluding
that Woman is capricious, deceitful, and not to be trusted for one
moment ?
“My owner prides himself upon having brought me up on amicable
terms with a terrier and a parrot. ’Tis enough to make a cat laugh ;
for, with the exception of that, vulgar Cheshire family we are gravity
personified. We live in a false state of society, ana if ever 1 catch
that parrot in a favourable spot, I’ll—but no matter—when I am let
out of the bag you shall see how I jump.
“ I remain yours felinely,
“ Tabitha Poosey.”
“P.S. A fresh annoyance! Some more fables about us! I see a
book advertised as Memoirs of Remarkable Misers. This use of the
plural for the singular is mere pedantry : the author of course means
Remarkable Mousers. I’m disgusted! ”
Affecting Ceremony.—A corse of events was interred last week.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
227
SHAKSPEARE IN THE CITY.
“ Who is Silvia—what is she f ”
W ho is Goschen, what is he
That City swells commend him P
Somebody he ought to be,
II the City send him
Where it sends without rebuke,
Crawford, Rothschild, and Sir Duke.
Joachim’s his “Christian” name,
But, German seems his surname,
Yet at Oxford he had fame,
Isis lends him her name
To back the gentle Goschen’s claim.
To help the nation’s laws to frame.
Well, he seems a nice young man.
Thirty is his figure ;
He may sit till London can
Find some buffer bigger,
Than this decent Mr. G.
To be proud London’s fourth M.P.
Old Gentleman. “ Look here, I'm rather in a hurry ! where are your assistants ?"
Hairdresser. “ Why, they ’re both dyeing, Sir/ ”
Old Gentleman. “ Lord bless my soul 1 Dying!! I”
Hairdresser. “• Yes, Sir; one’s dyeing a lady s'air hupstairs and the liother's engaged with
a pair o' hauburn lohiskers in the next room, "
Classical Music.
It is not generally known that the words of the
sweet ballad, “ Home sweet Home," were originally
written several thousand years ago in the Greek
language. In consequence of this composition
the author was called “Homer ! sweet Homer ! ”
and t bis same gentleman subsequently wrote the
Iliad, which is, as everybody is now aware, a
lament over the Poet’s personal wrongs, founded
upon an imaginary ill he had suffered. Hence
the title.
Feat of Strength.
A Short Gentleman, we allude to his stature
and not the state of his finances, who had unfor-
tunately contracted the habit of stooping, wishing
to obtain a glimpse of the Princess, managed,
by a gigantic effort, to hold himself up as the
Royal Couple were passing. He has been slightly
elevated ever since.
One Way of Giving a Man a chance of
Rising in the World.—Knock him down.
A PEEP INTO PETLAND.
Mr.Wood’s Book, entitled Glimpses into Petland, has put the little
pets into a great passion. The domesticated animals complain of gross
misrepresentation, and among the numerous letters which we have
received from funny and cunning dogs, sly pusses, and others, we select
the following epistle for publication. Its authoress is a Tabby of some
eminence in Petland, and the postmark informs us that it comes from
Hearth-Rugby : —
“ Dear Mr Punch,
“I cannot bring these feline few lines to you myself, because
your favourite Toby is scarcely civil to members of our family, loby
or not Toby is the question for me, if I came to your house, and Tabby
or not, Tabby would make no difference to that otherwise sagacious
animal. I regret that we, as a race, are not understood. Does
Mr. J. G. Wood fathom us? not a bit of it. Illogical men, this
author among them, dare to say that, we cannot (what they call)
‘speak,’ because they, forsooth, are unable to interpret our language.
Now, Sir, we cats have a smattering of Greek and Latin. I will give
an instance in point, illustrating our acquaintance with the Greek
alphabet. Has no one ever heard us say Mu? Perhaps, to many, this
interpretation of Mu is new ? I would remind you, also, that, as every
horrid school-boy—ugh—knows, the name of a first-rate cat is Moi/cra, or
as in English, Mouser ; and, if this fact does not, clearly connect us with
Clio, Melpomene, and their sisters, I know not what, will. This leads me
to protest against being invariably called by any title but that which of
right belongs to me. My name is Tabitha, corrupted into simple Tab.
I don’t object to that; but I am expected to answer to such names as
Tiddleums, Tittimums, Kittenums, Tittikms, and others terminating
in * urns ’ and ‘ ins,’ and I have been addressed by the person in whose
house I am residing, as ‘ Tiddlepops,’ And yet this misguided crea-
ture actually thinks that such nonsense is pleasing to me ! But what
rubs my fur the wrong way is the charge of deceit and ingratitude
brought against us. It is said that, while we are being stroked we
suddenly put out our claws and scratch our best friend. Let me
explain : I own to a partiality for having my head mesmerically
scratched by a hand : well, naturally concluding that the same
pleasureable sensation would be experienced by any one scratched
by me, I experimentalised upon the young lady in whose lap I was
lying. Sir, 1 was dropped—as I have seen our butler drop a hot plate
—1 was slapped, I was kicked, abused, reviled, maltreated, and finally
turned out of the drawing-room. Am T not warranted in concluding
that Woman is capricious, deceitful, and not to be trusted for one
moment ?
“My owner prides himself upon having brought me up on amicable
terms with a terrier and a parrot. ’Tis enough to make a cat laugh ;
for, with the exception of that, vulgar Cheshire family we are gravity
personified. We live in a false state of society, ana if ever 1 catch
that parrot in a favourable spot, I’ll—but no matter—when I am let
out of the bag you shall see how I jump.
“ I remain yours felinely,
“ Tabitha Poosey.”
“P.S. A fresh annoyance! Some more fables about us! I see a
book advertised as Memoirs of Remarkable Misers. This use of the
plural for the singular is mere pedantry : the author of course means
Remarkable Mousers. I’m disgusted! ”
Affecting Ceremony.—A corse of events was interred last week.