DOI Heft:
April 4, 1863
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16871#0153
146
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[April 4, 1863.
CANINE
Patron. “ Well, but toe don’t mean to sat that such a Dawg as that
could Draw a Badger?”
Fancier. “ Not Draw a Badger ! why, bless ter ’art, it would be a little
’Oliday to him ! ’
A WIPE AND NO ENCUMBRANCE.
Wanted, by a Philosopher, to Marry, a Good Plain
Girl, wth or whhout Money; for choice with, to any
amount. By Plain, the Advertiser does not mean Ugly,
but simply middling; neither unsightly nor having any
beauty to lose, and therefore likely to be little altered for
the worse by time. Ugliness, however, will be no absolute
disqualification; and here is an opportunity for many a
young lady of ample fortune, whose hand may never hitherto
have been solicited by any trustworthy suitor. The wile
for the advertiser must, nevertheless, be well built, tho-
roughly healthy, prepared to take long walks, and, unless
she bring a great addition to his pecuniary resources, to
get about independent of cabs and omnibuses.
She will not need to have been much educated, if willing
to learn, and capable of applying general principles to par-
ticular cases; no one who does not understand what this
means need apply. Must be, or be determined to become,
well versed in cookery and needle-work, xiccomplishments
will be acceptable, but are not expected ; and good taste in
matters of art, as for instance music, will be infinitely
preferred to executive ability, which can seldom be main-
tained after marriage, and even then affords very limited
amusement.
She must be prepared to live quite cheerfully without the
least indulgence of vanity in case narrow circumstances for-
bid all gratification of that weakness. Must be disposed
gladly to concur in practising economy, when required, by
the retrenchment of ostentation in preference to the sacrifice
of comfort. Must be resolutely set against yielding grega-
rious obedience to absurd or inconvenient fashions, man-
ners, and customs. Passion for dress and finery still not
in the least objected to, if quite subordinate to prudence,
and aiming to excite only the admiration of her husband,
and not at all to attract that of anybody else.
It is to be understood that all Relations shall be subject
to summary exclusion, if troublesome. A Priendles&
Orphan preferred. No arrangement will be possible en-
tailing a Mother-in-Law.
Applications, of which those only that are sufficiently
promising will receive any attention, may be addressed to
‘Epicurus,” Punch’s Office, undercover inclosing a Pho-
tograph and Two or More Postage Stamps.
Question eor any Scientific Society.—Can a Lob-
ster rise above its sauce f
1
MORE BRISTOL DIAMONDS!
Well said, old Bristol! When a man, or a city has done a good
thing, why should either pretend to be unaware of the merit ? It is
Mr. Punch’s unceasing consciousness of the good things he does and
says which gives to his countenance that beatific expression so much
admired by the lovers of the Beautiful. Thus saith Bristol, through her
Mirror:—
“ And when, at their leisure, the Prince and Princess look through the long list
of cities that vied to do them honour, they will perceive that the somewhat grim
but strong and sturdy old Bristol joined in the demonstration with warm heart and
sound lungs. And when the Prince brings his bride into the West, where we have
something to show her that nature has done for us, and something that we have
done for ourselves, it shall go hard but we will let her hear something more in the
same key.”
and rang out with a chorus upon occasion of the marriage of the Prince with the
Lady of Denmark. This has been no burst of folly, like that with which America
was wont to hail alike a patriot, a fiddler, a dwarf, or a quack, simply in the way of
sensation. There is a method in our madness, and when we deliver ourselves over
to our enthusiasm, and the sky is red with our bonfires and resonant with our
shouts, the world may rely upon it that we know what we are about. And in the
rejoicings of the first people of the world over the wedding of our young Prince
with his fair Dane, we have signified not only our love for that proud and noble
pair, hut also our love for our Queen, and for the system which she administers so
well, and of which the young couple will long be more than content to be the
choicest ornament.”
There, take that, and Rouble us no more with your Palais Royal
bosh.
A CUT AT A MAN’S CHARACTER..
!
On the same quay, we suppose the gallant writer meant, but we
won’t dispute about orthography. We did not, however, make the
extract lor the purpose of criticism, hut because in the next paragraph
there is a very decently conceived answer to divers Prenchmen and
others who have been pleased to turn up their ridiculous noses, (as pigs
do m a thunderstorm! and to wonder why England delivered herself
over to enthusiasm, ‘ because a young girl came from Denmark to
many a young man in England.” The French, by the way, are nice
people to jeer at popular excitement, when an expected procession of
ten dirty priests and seven small boys with incense pots, will keep ten
thousand Irenchmen in the east wind lor five hours. Here, Erenchmen,
we.can t be bothered with answering you, but take this from Bristol,
which, as some ol your better educated classes may know, is a sea-port
in Yorkshire between Birkenhead and the North Eoreland, where
the uniortunate young poet, Chastertone, was poisoned by Sir
Hubert Walpole, by desire of old Rowley, otherwise Charles the
Second :—
Ifour answer to any one of another nation, or another time, who mi
wonderlully read tbo record of how the three kingdoms blazed out like a beac<
If New York were London, what would the reader say on reading
the annexed paragraph in the New York Herald?
“Dr. Colenso in,Holywell Street.—A Correspondent states that, having had
occasion recently to pass through Holywell Street, he observed, prominent in a
bookseller’s -window in that infamous thoroughfare, a tract purporting to be a
defence of Dr. Colenso. He adds that Dr. Colenso can boast of being the only
Bishop whom Holywell Street delighteth to honour.”
Probably the remark of our indignant reader would be, that the New
York Herald, by inserting the above-quoted insinuation against Bishop
Colenso in its columns, had blackened even them, befouled dirt itself,
and surpassed the noisomest of all the personalities that have ever
earned James Gordon Bennett a horse-whipping. But there is no
art in the slander of the New York Herald. It is not a religious journal.
The foregoing example of sanctified innuendo is extracted from the
Record.
Evident.—The original idea that gave rise to the novel Aurora
Floyd, was first suggested to the talented Authoress by the Aurora
Borealis.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[April 4, 1863.
CANINE
Patron. “ Well, but toe don’t mean to sat that such a Dawg as that
could Draw a Badger?”
Fancier. “ Not Draw a Badger ! why, bless ter ’art, it would be a little
’Oliday to him ! ’
A WIPE AND NO ENCUMBRANCE.
Wanted, by a Philosopher, to Marry, a Good Plain
Girl, wth or whhout Money; for choice with, to any
amount. By Plain, the Advertiser does not mean Ugly,
but simply middling; neither unsightly nor having any
beauty to lose, and therefore likely to be little altered for
the worse by time. Ugliness, however, will be no absolute
disqualification; and here is an opportunity for many a
young lady of ample fortune, whose hand may never hitherto
have been solicited by any trustworthy suitor. The wile
for the advertiser must, nevertheless, be well built, tho-
roughly healthy, prepared to take long walks, and, unless
she bring a great addition to his pecuniary resources, to
get about independent of cabs and omnibuses.
She will not need to have been much educated, if willing
to learn, and capable of applying general principles to par-
ticular cases; no one who does not understand what this
means need apply. Must be, or be determined to become,
well versed in cookery and needle-work, xiccomplishments
will be acceptable, but are not expected ; and good taste in
matters of art, as for instance music, will be infinitely
preferred to executive ability, which can seldom be main-
tained after marriage, and even then affords very limited
amusement.
She must be prepared to live quite cheerfully without the
least indulgence of vanity in case narrow circumstances for-
bid all gratification of that weakness. Must be disposed
gladly to concur in practising economy, when required, by
the retrenchment of ostentation in preference to the sacrifice
of comfort. Must be resolutely set against yielding grega-
rious obedience to absurd or inconvenient fashions, man-
ners, and customs. Passion for dress and finery still not
in the least objected to, if quite subordinate to prudence,
and aiming to excite only the admiration of her husband,
and not at all to attract that of anybody else.
It is to be understood that all Relations shall be subject
to summary exclusion, if troublesome. A Priendles&
Orphan preferred. No arrangement will be possible en-
tailing a Mother-in-Law.
Applications, of which those only that are sufficiently
promising will receive any attention, may be addressed to
‘Epicurus,” Punch’s Office, undercover inclosing a Pho-
tograph and Two or More Postage Stamps.
Question eor any Scientific Society.—Can a Lob-
ster rise above its sauce f
1
MORE BRISTOL DIAMONDS!
Well said, old Bristol! When a man, or a city has done a good
thing, why should either pretend to be unaware of the merit ? It is
Mr. Punch’s unceasing consciousness of the good things he does and
says which gives to his countenance that beatific expression so much
admired by the lovers of the Beautiful. Thus saith Bristol, through her
Mirror:—
“ And when, at their leisure, the Prince and Princess look through the long list
of cities that vied to do them honour, they will perceive that the somewhat grim
but strong and sturdy old Bristol joined in the demonstration with warm heart and
sound lungs. And when the Prince brings his bride into the West, where we have
something to show her that nature has done for us, and something that we have
done for ourselves, it shall go hard but we will let her hear something more in the
same key.”
and rang out with a chorus upon occasion of the marriage of the Prince with the
Lady of Denmark. This has been no burst of folly, like that with which America
was wont to hail alike a patriot, a fiddler, a dwarf, or a quack, simply in the way of
sensation. There is a method in our madness, and when we deliver ourselves over
to our enthusiasm, and the sky is red with our bonfires and resonant with our
shouts, the world may rely upon it that we know what we are about. And in the
rejoicings of the first people of the world over the wedding of our young Prince
with his fair Dane, we have signified not only our love for that proud and noble
pair, hut also our love for our Queen, and for the system which she administers so
well, and of which the young couple will long be more than content to be the
choicest ornament.”
There, take that, and Rouble us no more with your Palais Royal
bosh.
A CUT AT A MAN’S CHARACTER..
!
On the same quay, we suppose the gallant writer meant, but we
won’t dispute about orthography. We did not, however, make the
extract lor the purpose of criticism, hut because in the next paragraph
there is a very decently conceived answer to divers Prenchmen and
others who have been pleased to turn up their ridiculous noses, (as pigs
do m a thunderstorm! and to wonder why England delivered herself
over to enthusiasm, ‘ because a young girl came from Denmark to
many a young man in England.” The French, by the way, are nice
people to jeer at popular excitement, when an expected procession of
ten dirty priests and seven small boys with incense pots, will keep ten
thousand Irenchmen in the east wind lor five hours. Here, Erenchmen,
we.can t be bothered with answering you, but take this from Bristol,
which, as some ol your better educated classes may know, is a sea-port
in Yorkshire between Birkenhead and the North Eoreland, where
the uniortunate young poet, Chastertone, was poisoned by Sir
Hubert Walpole, by desire of old Rowley, otherwise Charles the
Second :—
Ifour answer to any one of another nation, or another time, who mi
wonderlully read tbo record of how the three kingdoms blazed out like a beac<
If New York were London, what would the reader say on reading
the annexed paragraph in the New York Herald?
“Dr. Colenso in,Holywell Street.—A Correspondent states that, having had
occasion recently to pass through Holywell Street, he observed, prominent in a
bookseller’s -window in that infamous thoroughfare, a tract purporting to be a
defence of Dr. Colenso. He adds that Dr. Colenso can boast of being the only
Bishop whom Holywell Street delighteth to honour.”
Probably the remark of our indignant reader would be, that the New
York Herald, by inserting the above-quoted insinuation against Bishop
Colenso in its columns, had blackened even them, befouled dirt itself,
and surpassed the noisomest of all the personalities that have ever
earned James Gordon Bennett a horse-whipping. But there is no
art in the slander of the New York Herald. It is not a religious journal.
The foregoing example of sanctified innuendo is extracted from the
Record.
Evident.—The original idea that gave rise to the novel Aurora
Floyd, was first suggested to the talented Authoress by the Aurora
Borealis.