DOI issue:
April 18, 1863
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16871#0167
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[April 18, 1863*
MACBETH IN THE KITCHEN.
Scene—Somewhere in Scotland. Anything hut a “ Dark Cave,” and if
you like a guess, we should say the place might he exactly opposite
Iron Steeple, Glasgow. A Cauldron, inscribed “ Cooking for the
Working Classes.”
Enter Three Witches, but of the Lancashire Witch type.
Is* Witch. Three times thrice the clock hath struck.
2nd Witch. Then the breakfast hour is come.
3rd Witch. Glasgow cries—’Tis time, ’tis time.
Is* Witch. Round about the cauldron go,
In the best materials throw.
Porridge, that itself alone
Were a feast for any one.
Jolly thick, and such a lot.
Boil thou first i’ the charmed pot.
All. Bubble, bubble, food ’s worth trouble.
Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.
vtd Witch. Coffee, clear and not opaque,
Boil, the workman’s thirst to slake;
Bowl of Milk, to mend his prog.
Is he not a lucky dog P
All. Bubble, bubble, food’s worth trouble.
Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.
3rd Witch. Hunger, though ’twere that of wolf.
Die in this Cocaignian gulf.
Roll—no better feeds the Park—
Butter worthy of remark—
Such a breakfast offers auld Tron
Such the ingredients of our cauldron.
2nd Witch. Let the price be understood,
Threepence buys this breakfast good.
Enter Punch.
O, well done! I commend your pains,
The Scotch were always famed for brains,
And my old friend John Bull I ’ll bring,
So show him how to do the thing.
Explaining all that you put in.
la* Witch. By my suet, flour, and plums.
Something English this way comes,
Open locks, whoever knocks.
Enter John Bull.
John. How now, you sonsie, saucy, cheery girls,
"What, is’t you do P
All. Indeed, without an aim
You’ve hit the mark, so please to mark the game.
We ’re going to do a dinner.
John. Do it, pray,
That is a thing exactly in my way.
Is* Witch. Ay, laddie, ay, and you can do it fine.
But it’s at twenty times the price of mine.
You cannot do it cheap.
John. No, lassie, no.
Teach me but that, my girls, and—
Is* Witch. Show!
2nd Witch. Show!
3rd Witch. Show !
[An Apparition of a Bold of Broth, or Soup, rises,
John. What stunning stuff. It quite regales my nose,
’Tis worthy of the board of Lord Mayor Rose.
[An Apparition of a Plate of Beef, Hot or Cold, rises-.
John. The man who wants aught better than that beef,
Is a fastidious and unwholesome thief.
[An Apparition of a Plate of Potatoes rises.
SERVANTGALISM.
Lady. “ Then I suppose you Consider yourself perfectly Competent to hear the Children their Lessons, should they
STAY AWAY FROM SCHOOL ANY DAY ? ”
Candidate for Situation. “ Hoh, yes, Mem! The Family I were with, said I hadn’t ouqhtfr be antthisk but a Nussery
Guvness ! ”
[April 18, 1863*
MACBETH IN THE KITCHEN.
Scene—Somewhere in Scotland. Anything hut a “ Dark Cave,” and if
you like a guess, we should say the place might he exactly opposite
Iron Steeple, Glasgow. A Cauldron, inscribed “ Cooking for the
Working Classes.”
Enter Three Witches, but of the Lancashire Witch type.
Is* Witch. Three times thrice the clock hath struck.
2nd Witch. Then the breakfast hour is come.
3rd Witch. Glasgow cries—’Tis time, ’tis time.
Is* Witch. Round about the cauldron go,
In the best materials throw.
Porridge, that itself alone
Were a feast for any one.
Jolly thick, and such a lot.
Boil thou first i’ the charmed pot.
All. Bubble, bubble, food ’s worth trouble.
Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.
vtd Witch. Coffee, clear and not opaque,
Boil, the workman’s thirst to slake;
Bowl of Milk, to mend his prog.
Is he not a lucky dog P
All. Bubble, bubble, food’s worth trouble.
Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.
3rd Witch. Hunger, though ’twere that of wolf.
Die in this Cocaignian gulf.
Roll—no better feeds the Park—
Butter worthy of remark—
Such a breakfast offers auld Tron
Such the ingredients of our cauldron.
2nd Witch. Let the price be understood,
Threepence buys this breakfast good.
Enter Punch.
O, well done! I commend your pains,
The Scotch were always famed for brains,
And my old friend John Bull I ’ll bring,
So show him how to do the thing.
Explaining all that you put in.
la* Witch. By my suet, flour, and plums.
Something English this way comes,
Open locks, whoever knocks.
Enter John Bull.
John. How now, you sonsie, saucy, cheery girls,
"What, is’t you do P
All. Indeed, without an aim
You’ve hit the mark, so please to mark the game.
We ’re going to do a dinner.
John. Do it, pray,
That is a thing exactly in my way.
Is* Witch. Ay, laddie, ay, and you can do it fine.
But it’s at twenty times the price of mine.
You cannot do it cheap.
John. No, lassie, no.
Teach me but that, my girls, and—
Is* Witch. Show!
2nd Witch. Show!
3rd Witch. Show !
[An Apparition of a Bold of Broth, or Soup, rises,
John. What stunning stuff. It quite regales my nose,
’Tis worthy of the board of Lord Mayor Rose.
[An Apparition of a Plate of Beef, Hot or Cold, rises-.
John. The man who wants aught better than that beef,
Is a fastidious and unwholesome thief.
[An Apparition of a Plate of Potatoes rises.
SERVANTGALISM.
Lady. “ Then I suppose you Consider yourself perfectly Competent to hear the Children their Lessons, should they
STAY AWAY FROM SCHOOL ANY DAY ? ”
Candidate for Situation. “ Hoh, yes, Mem! The Family I were with, said I hadn’t ouqhtfr be antthisk but a Nussery
Guvness ! ”