Punch (45.1863)

10

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [July 4, 1863.

CONJUGAL AFFECTION.

Enthusiastic Waterman. “ My eye, Sam, ain’t she a Beauty? ”

Sam. “ ’Um ; werry well as Women goes. 'Seen my Wife, you’ve seen a finer Woman.”

UNIVERSITY INTELLI-
GENCE.

The Senior Wrangler of this
year, after a great deal of mental
labour and deep algebraical study,
has succeeded in squaring bis
elbows. We regret to hear that
the Public Orator of Cambridge
having been laid up with a severe
cold, has, consequently, lost his
voice in the proceedings of the
Senate. A recent Grace decrees
that Members of the University
may no longer keep their clothes
in the Pitt Press. Instead of
sending them to the Pitt, they
must use their own private boxes.
At the Tree masons’ Ball at Oxford
the new University Dance, entitled
the Can-Cellarius, dedicated to
the Chancellor was performed by
the Heads on their feet, and was
admitted on all hands to be
charmingly graceful.

A STRONG MAN AT COURT.

It is generally known that the
Loud Chiee Baron carries his
years uncommonly well. At Her
Majesty’s Drawing-Room, on
Saturday last, the venerable and
learned President of the Court of
Exchequer showed convincing-
proof of his ability to carry some-
thing more. The Court Newsman
delights and astonishes us by the
information that: —

“ The Lord Chief Baron wore his gold
collar of S. S. with the portcullis. ”

Pancy Sin Frederick Pollock
marching along under the load of
a portcullis! Which of us youth
could perform such a feat of
strength as that ? The like thereof
has not been seen since the days of
Samson.

A PLEA EOR THE “MONDAY POPS.”

W hat is popular music ? “ Oh, nigger-songs, of course,” says Jones,
“ and melodies of the Music Halls, like ‘ The Black Gal togged in Blue’
or ‘ The Scavenger's Great Granddaughter.’ ” Well, Jones, you may be
right, and music such as this may (more’s the pity) bethought popular.
People without brams may like hearing brainless music, and, as “ more
geese than swans do live, more fools than wise,” senseless jingleqang-
ling tunes must doubtless become popular. But that epithet has lately
been applied to better music, and it rejoices us to notice that the appli-
cation daily is becoming more well founded. Twenty years ago good
music was supposed to send people to sleep, and only Philharmonic
lunatics were thought able to endure it. Nowadays, however, good
music is known better, and therefore better liked. A sonata or concerto
of quite twenty minutes’ length is listened to without a gabble or a
gape -. and good music is so popular that at the concerts which par
excellence are known to us as “Popular,” nothing else is ever played.

To the director of these Concerts which have given so much pleasure
to so many people, the thanks of all who love good music are deservedly
now due; and as the Director takes a Benefit next Monday, their
thanks should be expressed by their presence on that night. This is
the last ot the “ Monday Pops ” that will be heard this season, and we
hope that Mil. Chappell will have a good Saint James’s haul.

Imperial Furniture.

Messrs. Jackham and Grason are announced as appointed, by
special brevet irom the Tuileries, Fournisseurs de l’Empereur. We are
requested to add, that they did not supply the Emperor with his new
Cabinet.

HELP FOR THE HOPELESS.

There is a so-called “comic” song which is termed the “ Perfect
Cure,” and there are unhappily many persons in the world who can
never hope to sing that song in character. These poor sufferers have
ailments or deformities which no human skill can cure, and for their
relief an asylum has been founded, where patients thought incurable
may be permanently lodged. At all our other hospitals cases such as
these are inadmissible for treatment: at the Hospital for Incurables
none other are received.

To aid the not too plenteous funds of this admirable Charity, a fancy
fair was held last week beneath the Domes that Eowke built, where a
score or two of ladies played at shopkeeping awhile, and sold shill'ings-
worths for sovereigns with the usual fair dealing of the fair sex at a
fair. Moreover some few score of gentlemen made hobby horses of
themselves, and turned acrobats and actors, and men wise in their
vocation of both law and art and literature, consented for pure charily
to try and play the fool.

Bunch merely notices this fair to call attention to the Hospital for
which the fair was held, and which he knows to be deserving of liberal
(as well as of conservative) support. And if this be given as freely, and
with as excellent good-will as the stall-keepers and showmen gave their
presence at the fair, the Hospital for Incurables will be considerably
benefited, and many a poor sufferer may hope to be relieved by it.

Cruelty and Inconsistency.

A Cruel Step-mother, after ill-using her step-daughter for several
days, at last refused to fiud her in food. With strange female incon-
sistency she subsequently found the young girl in tears.