Punch (45.1863)

September 26, 1863.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

125


I


PICKED UP FROM THE BEACH.

Old Sail (ivlio has got Sixpence apiece out of the Children). “ These, mt dears,
you’ve got a Kitten for a Shillun’ as had ought to a bin Sevin and Six-

Every one will be delighted to hear that a Flamingo from
Pernambuco has arrived in Paris. The Imperial and
August, we should say September, couple will pay the
stranger a visit on their return to the Tuileries. Who
does not recollect the poet’s beautiful description of the
innocent creature’s prattle:—

“ List to the Lingo
Of little Flamingo ! ”

Another novelty in Paris. The French Acclimatisation
Society has just received a Chinese Rose-tree that '''changes
its colour three tunes a day.” On hearing this, M. Mon-
talembert immediately made the following conundrum;
“ Why is this rose-tree like a single sculling outrigger
let out for hire?” The answer, given by Mr. Charles
Mathews, who happened to be passing by at the moment,
was “ Because, it so often changes its sculler.”

A SLIP-SHOD SERENADE

CANNY SEWARD TO CANADA.

Air.—“ 1 Fill you tealk into my Parlour.”

“ Will you come into our Union F ”

Said the Saucy to the Shy,

“ Though now in an unsettled state
It won’t be by-and-by.

You only have to nod your head
Our gladness to restore,

And vow, when to a Yankee wed,

Obedience—nothing more.

Will you? won’t you?—-won’t you? will you on our

love rely ?

For many a year, my Canny dear, we’ve nothing
done but sigh.

Do you, Canny, pine for freedom,

Indeed it shall be thine,

If you T1 but lift your modest veil
And promise to be mine ;

No jealous eye shall scan your steps
When you to market go.

Your duties will be very light.

For love makes all things so.

Will you ? won’t you P &c.

PENCE AT LEAST; AND IE YOU ’LL MEET ME HERE TO-MORRER AT THE SAME TIME, YOU
SHALL HAVE SUCH A BOAT FOR A HaLF-A-C'ROWN AS YOU COULDN’T GET AT A SHOP

for Five Bob ! ”

SHADOWS OE THE WEEK.

Shadows ! How can one discourse of Shadows, now that Mr. Hind, writing
from Mr, Bishop’s Observatory, has said that the Sun is nearer to us than ever. J
A powerful glass has brought this luminary so close, that, no doubt, in time, about
the year 2008, we shall see placards all over the town telling the men of that
generation how they can enjoy “ Three hours at the sunny-side lor half-a-crown ! ”
The sun is nearer. Well, common sense, apart from the aid of astronomical science,
should long ago have informed us that the Sun was not Farther. Then again the re-
flecting mind may see in this new scientific theory a consequence boding ill to the
world; for, if the Sun gets nearer and nearer, will it not be more economical of its
light P

We believe that, President Lincoln is about to publish a Book of Poetry; the
style will be that in which he has lately been writing.

Will our readers believe history or an Edinburgh Reviewer, who has calmly
asserted that the Druids never had any existence. Good gracious! Do not
we know better than this? How about Grisi in Norma? We should say that
that allusion is, from an argumentative point of view, rather a settler. What,
was Adalgisa no better than a Mrs. Harris? Did never an Oroveso intone his
double-bass notes under the shadows of Stonehenge? And what of that? says
our antagonist. Nothing, we reply, and thus amicably end a discussion, which we
were not the first to begin and the Reviewer has not taken up.

Another week of Alfred Mellon’s Concerts. Covent Garden has been over-
crowded whenever Mr. Santley or Miss Carlotta Patti has sung; and when
Lotto has played the violin, such a lot o’ people went to hear him, that we should
advise Mr. Mellon to go to the Parliamentary Committee rooms in order to get
powers of extension.

Cardinal Wiseman, in consequence of the great succes of his recent Lecture
upon Self-Culture, has, we hear, been applied to by Mr. E. T. Smith to give a series
of discourses in the Circus at Cremorne, upon the Progress of True Science,
illustrating the same by putting on the gloves with Professor Mace. We
do not know whether His Eminence has accepted the terms, but we are inclined
to think that a previous arrangement to appear as Mr. Polytechnic Pepper’s
ghostly adviser will prevent him.

There’s energy in Yankeeland
And capital to boot,

We spend a mint of money
In the country where we shoot.

By no unruly children
Are our slumbers ever broke.

Our house has only got one fault,

It’s not quite free from smoke.

Will you? won’t you? &c.

Believe in the United State
Felicity you ’ll find,

Provided that you watch your words
And never speak your mind;

Our mangling is all done at home
Ev’n foreigners confess,

What a charming gloss we put on things
Committed to the Press.

Will you ? won’t you ? &c.

In maiden meditation, p’rhaps
You’ve gazed upon the Stars
That rule our lofty destiny—

Particularly Mars;

And much you’ve marvell’d what those Stars
With Stripes can have to do—

Those stripes are meant for dogs that bark,
As ’tis their nature to.

Will you? won’t you? &c.

Confide in Yankee honour bright
Despite what snarlers say,

That Jonathan seeks a rich Brid
His dreadful debts to pay.

To thee he’d rush with open arms
And passion pure this minute,

But as Canny dear is cased in steel—

His foot he might put in it.

Will you? won’t you P &c.