Punch (45.1863)

August 29, 1863.]

85



I


PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

CRICKET-THE PRIDE OF THE VILLAGE.

MEXICO AND MONROE.

An Emperor of Mexico !

Jerusalem! Now here’s a go.

Oh, oil! Napoleon’s toe,

Darned if he han’t, kicked down Monroe.

An Emperor, &c.

"W itli mouths of Ore, whilst, North and South,
We stands a blazin, mouth to mouth,

That Cuss out there, he bones the prey;

Takes Mexico right slick away.

An Emperor, &c.

Now what on airth we air to du
In this here fix, I wish I knew.

’Cause why, we’re dealing with a hand
That won’t no sort of nonsense stand.

An Emperor, &c.

Them Erench, as fights for an idee,

Ain’t got much scruples more than we
Of plungin into all-fired strife ;

Don’t much more valley human life.

An Emperor, &c.

Bloodshed they no ways don’t abhor;

You han’t to kick them iuto war.

But shake your fist, that will suffice ;

They won’t let you insult ’em twice.

An Emperor, &c.

John Bull he ’ll stand ’most any sarse ;

You can’t pervoke his dander, scarce :

Old fool, so bent on actin right,

Till you quite kick him he won’t fight.

An Emperor, &c.

So then, as Mexico’s gone goose,

And wakin snakes it ain’t no use,

Agin old Bull let’s vengeance vow,

And take no action else jest now.

An Emperor, &c.

“ Good Match, old Fellow ? ”

“Oh, YES; AWFULLY JOLLY!”

“What did you do 1”

“ I ’ad a Hover of Jackson ; the first ball ’it me on the ’and, the second
'ad me on the knee ; the third was in my eye ; and the fourth bowled
me OUT ! ” [Jolly Game.

Friendly Conundrum.

Why is a French Steam vessel on her passage from Calais
to Dover a sign of the amicable relations of the Two Great
Powers ?

Because it shows the existence of a Erench-ship between
France and England.

TITBITS FOR TRAVELLERS.

The Acclimatisation Society have been at it again, and we find at
a late banquet the bill of fare comprised such dainties as the
following:—

“ White soup of the Channel Islands (made of conger eel), lucioperca, grenouilles
or edible frogs, pepperpot, Chinese lamb, roasted whole, with pilaff and kuscoussos,
poulets a l’Emancipation des negres, and ostrich eggs.”

This entertainment, is described as “ elegant and recherche,” and as
the latter epithet means properly “ far fetched,” it is certainly in this
instance by no meaus ill-applied. We cannot say ourselves that we
should have much appetite for frogs and conger eels, or should look on
lucioperca (whatever that may be) as an “elegant” refection. We
never tasted kuscoussos, but judging by its name it must be something
rather formidable; and as for ostrich eggs, we doubt if, had we ever
such au appetite, we could anyhow contrive to eat more than a couple
ot them. Pilaff may be very nice indeed to those who like it, but as
we never tasted it, we can’t say that we do; and as for pepperpot,
without inquiring what it is, we will wager we should much prefer a
pot of porter.

But we really ought to thank the men who eat these messes for their
bravery in trying to discover a new dainty for us. Of course if conger
soup were nice, the price of turtle might be lowered by it; and if
pepperpot and kuscoussos were edible and cheap, we should be saved
Jrom much expense in more extravagant made-dishes. We therefore
highly praise and thank these pioneers of progress in the culinary art,
and we really think their bravery in tasting unknown dishes ought to
be rewarded by some ribbon of distinction, something in the fashion of
a Cook’s Victoria Cross. Were this new Order of Valour established
to encourage them, other heroes might perhaps be tempted to compete
lor it; and oilier societies might follow the laudable example of dining

annually on dishes which but few people have heard of, and nobody
quite likes. The Geological Society might, for instance, give an earth
feast, and taste the various sorts of earth which the earth-eaters are fond
of: while of course the Entomologists might have a feed of insects,
whereat the menu might begin with suail soup aud fried earwigs, then
proceed, by way of entrees, with roast cockroach and grilled grasshoppers,
and conclude with a boiled butterfly and some caterpillar cheese.

So too the Geographical Society might direct their various travellers,
while examining strange countries, to examine strange cuisines; aud,
when they have been feasting at some foreign Star and Garter, to send
home the recipes for the dishes which most pleased them. They might
also be requested in certain special cases to forward home a sample of
the dishes they most relished, as the condiments for making them might
possibly in England not be easy to obtain. Pelican patties would for
instance be difficult to get here, and so would tiger cutlets and alligator
chops. Moreover there of course would be insuperable obstacles to our
serving up a dinner here from cannibal recipes ; and our only chance of
tasting missionary pie would be to have that dainty sent home ready-
made for us. Only fancy what excitement there would be at Exeter
Hall, were it announced that Sir R. Murchison had received for his
next banquet a large slice of baked bishop, which the King of the
Cannibal Islands had sent him, packed in ice !

Black Bands and Bones.

The New York Herald says that—

“ General Grant has some dozen skeleton regiments of coloured treops organ-
ising at Vicksburg.”

This means, we suppose, that General Grant is organising so
many regiments of coloured troops to become skeletons.