DOI issue:
August 22, 1863
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16872#0095
84
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[August 22, 1863.
ARBITRARY ELUNKEYISM AT WOOLWICH.
1
Indelicate and obtrusive loyalty is only less disgusting
than disloyalty which is coarse and brutal. People, whose
| interest in their Sovereign is not restrained by their
J manners so as to withhold them from staring the Queen
; out of countenance, ought t,o be compelled to keep them-
| selves at a respectful distance from her. Earther than
that, however, from the sight of Her Majesty there
can be no necessity for keeping any of Her Majesty’s
subjects. The following order, promulgated on the
Queen’s embarkation from Woolwich, contains a clause
which certainly does seem calculated to enforce a remote-
| ness from the Royal person extending somewhat beyond
the bounds of reason:—
“ The route to be taken to-day by Her Majesty through the Ar-
senal, as well as the wharf, is to be kept clear from 4 p.m. until the
steamer leaves the arsenal. Any person attempting to loiter on the
route, or on the wharf, or piers, or any one seen at the windows, is
to be immediately removed from the arsenal. No visitors are to be
admitted within the gates.
“(Signed) E. M. Boxer, Lieutenant-Colonel.”
To prohibit any one from appearing at a window happen-
ing to command a possible view of the Queen, was surely
to do what no authority would have done with any con-
siderate eye to the adage which declares that, a cat may look
at a king. As if Her Majesty had been Lady Godiva
going through Coventry ! Is Colonel Boxer so super-
stitious as to believe in the “ evil eye,” and does liesuppose
it to strike at so long a range as from t he other side of a
window? Perhaps, however, the foregoing order was not
dictated by Boxer, but by some superior officer, though
it is worthy only of an inferior official, namely, a Beadle,
actuated by excessive and servile exclusiveness, and swollen
with the niggardly imperiousness of a consequential flunkey
and Jack-in-Office. No ; surely it was not Boxer’s doing,
but that of some Cerberus, or other cur. We rejoice in
being able to add. in words borrowed from a popular ballad,
that “Ven as Her Majesty corned for to hear on’t she
werry much disapproved of what the contemptible creature
had done.”
Ornithological.
BRIGHTON.
Georgina. “ Do you know, Dear, I’m so unhappy now dear Charles has
gone to Town ! ”
Gertrude. “And I miss dear Percy dreadfully— I do hope they’ll get
Home safely ! ”
[ We wonder u&at dear Charles and dear Percy would say, if they saw you eating
Turtle at Mutton’s, you little humbugs !
A Celebrated Bird-tamer, having succeeded in making
a Canary (who was by the way bred up with a perch in bis
cage) clean bis master’s boots, and even when he was dis-
| mally moulting, sing molto vivace, has dismissed his footmen
and taught his fowls to supply their places. Two Fowls,
called a Hem or Hen, as the case may he, have given up
laying eggs, and are now of great service inlaying cloths for
dinner, luncheon, and other meals.
A CHARMING SENTENCE ON SCOUNDRELS.
How is it that here in England, the home of honest John Bull, we
cannot venture to rely on trade-marks, so commonly are they falsified ?
Because we want an institution like the Tribunal of Correctional Police
at Rlieims. This Court is calculated to have a really correctional
effect on all rogues who get themselves within its jurisdiction. It is
likely effectually to correct the practices which have rendered them
amenable thereunto. Just lately, the Paris correspondent of the Times
informs us, three humbugs, to wit, two wine merchants and a cooper,
were convicted before that, truly reformatory Tribunal of having forged
the Clicquot brand on certain corks inserted in the necks of divers
bottles of a species of Champagne, of which a quantity bad been seized
here in the Victoria Hocks. Their fraudulent ingenuity was adjudged
to undergo the following varieties of correction:—
“ The Rheims tribunal has sentenced the three offenders to pay £1,200 damages ;
also to replace, by unmarked corks, those in the bottles now in the docks, to bear
all the charges the complainants can prove that they have incurred in the pi-ose-
cution ”—
Which were very heavy—
—“ And finally to advertise the sentence in the Times, the Moniteur, the Gazette
des Tribunaux, and four other French papers. Moreover, for fraud under the penal
code, two of the offenders are sentenced to fines and to eighteen months’ imprison-
ment, and the third to four months of prison; and the wines bearing the false
marks are ordered to be destroyed.”
The last particular of the foregoing sentence is the only one that
seems capable of amendment. The knaves who would falsify a trade-
mark would also fabricate a wine; and these fellows would have been
rightly served if, besides having been lined and imprisoned, and com-
pelled to advertise their own infamy, they had, in addition, been con-
demned to drink their own sham Champagne. But this punishment
might be objected to as brutal, like that, which would have been equally
appropriate, of treating the impostors as they treated the corks, and
branding them with their own false brand. The correction, however
which they will have endured under the sentence of the Correctiona.
Tribunal at Rheims, will no doubt suffice to teach them to count erfeit
no more trade-marks, and may deter some other rogues from the like
dishonesty. It is to be wished that there were in England a Tribuna,
as able and willing as that of Rheims to bring brand-forgers, and ah
other swindling imitators, to reason.
Awful Situation!
A Nautical Correspondent, gives us a graphic account of his position
in a recent storm ; tie says, “ The breeze was blowing galely at first
but soon became furious. The little craft, which required all our
cunning to manage, had been well pitch’d before leaving shore, and was
now well tossed about at sea. Few ol us knew what, to do. The heac.
wiuds blew fearfully; we sat speechless with terror, seeing wind anr.
tide against us, for, alas! we were tongue-tied in a head wind! A
terrible night! ” _
HINT TO HOUSEHOLDERS.
A Gentleman who lives in the country, but holds a badly-built
house in town on a repairing lease, cannot of course continue for any
length of time away from his Metropolitan residence, as he must be
always repairing there.
Police !—An offender having been brought up before the sitting
Magistrate at Bow S'reet, applied a low epithet to his Worship. He
was committed for a Term.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[August 22, 1863.
ARBITRARY ELUNKEYISM AT WOOLWICH.
1
Indelicate and obtrusive loyalty is only less disgusting
than disloyalty which is coarse and brutal. People, whose
| interest in their Sovereign is not restrained by their
J manners so as to withhold them from staring the Queen
; out of countenance, ought t,o be compelled to keep them-
| selves at a respectful distance from her. Earther than
that, however, from the sight of Her Majesty there
can be no necessity for keeping any of Her Majesty’s
subjects. The following order, promulgated on the
Queen’s embarkation from Woolwich, contains a clause
which certainly does seem calculated to enforce a remote-
| ness from the Royal person extending somewhat beyond
the bounds of reason:—
“ The route to be taken to-day by Her Majesty through the Ar-
senal, as well as the wharf, is to be kept clear from 4 p.m. until the
steamer leaves the arsenal. Any person attempting to loiter on the
route, or on the wharf, or piers, or any one seen at the windows, is
to be immediately removed from the arsenal. No visitors are to be
admitted within the gates.
“(Signed) E. M. Boxer, Lieutenant-Colonel.”
To prohibit any one from appearing at a window happen-
ing to command a possible view of the Queen, was surely
to do what no authority would have done with any con-
siderate eye to the adage which declares that, a cat may look
at a king. As if Her Majesty had been Lady Godiva
going through Coventry ! Is Colonel Boxer so super-
stitious as to believe in the “ evil eye,” and does liesuppose
it to strike at so long a range as from t he other side of a
window? Perhaps, however, the foregoing order was not
dictated by Boxer, but by some superior officer, though
it is worthy only of an inferior official, namely, a Beadle,
actuated by excessive and servile exclusiveness, and swollen
with the niggardly imperiousness of a consequential flunkey
and Jack-in-Office. No ; surely it was not Boxer’s doing,
but that of some Cerberus, or other cur. We rejoice in
being able to add. in words borrowed from a popular ballad,
that “Ven as Her Majesty corned for to hear on’t she
werry much disapproved of what the contemptible creature
had done.”
Ornithological.
BRIGHTON.
Georgina. “ Do you know, Dear, I’m so unhappy now dear Charles has
gone to Town ! ”
Gertrude. “And I miss dear Percy dreadfully— I do hope they’ll get
Home safely ! ”
[ We wonder u&at dear Charles and dear Percy would say, if they saw you eating
Turtle at Mutton’s, you little humbugs !
A Celebrated Bird-tamer, having succeeded in making
a Canary (who was by the way bred up with a perch in bis
cage) clean bis master’s boots, and even when he was dis-
| mally moulting, sing molto vivace, has dismissed his footmen
and taught his fowls to supply their places. Two Fowls,
called a Hem or Hen, as the case may he, have given up
laying eggs, and are now of great service inlaying cloths for
dinner, luncheon, and other meals.
A CHARMING SENTENCE ON SCOUNDRELS.
How is it that here in England, the home of honest John Bull, we
cannot venture to rely on trade-marks, so commonly are they falsified ?
Because we want an institution like the Tribunal of Correctional Police
at Rlieims. This Court is calculated to have a really correctional
effect on all rogues who get themselves within its jurisdiction. It is
likely effectually to correct the practices which have rendered them
amenable thereunto. Just lately, the Paris correspondent of the Times
informs us, three humbugs, to wit, two wine merchants and a cooper,
were convicted before that, truly reformatory Tribunal of having forged
the Clicquot brand on certain corks inserted in the necks of divers
bottles of a species of Champagne, of which a quantity bad been seized
here in the Victoria Hocks. Their fraudulent ingenuity was adjudged
to undergo the following varieties of correction:—
“ The Rheims tribunal has sentenced the three offenders to pay £1,200 damages ;
also to replace, by unmarked corks, those in the bottles now in the docks, to bear
all the charges the complainants can prove that they have incurred in the pi-ose-
cution ”—
Which were very heavy—
—“ And finally to advertise the sentence in the Times, the Moniteur, the Gazette
des Tribunaux, and four other French papers. Moreover, for fraud under the penal
code, two of the offenders are sentenced to fines and to eighteen months’ imprison-
ment, and the third to four months of prison; and the wines bearing the false
marks are ordered to be destroyed.”
The last particular of the foregoing sentence is the only one that
seems capable of amendment. The knaves who would falsify a trade-
mark would also fabricate a wine; and these fellows would have been
rightly served if, besides having been lined and imprisoned, and com-
pelled to advertise their own infamy, they had, in addition, been con-
demned to drink their own sham Champagne. But this punishment
might be objected to as brutal, like that, which would have been equally
appropriate, of treating the impostors as they treated the corks, and
branding them with their own false brand. The correction, however
which they will have endured under the sentence of the Correctiona.
Tribunal at Rheims, will no doubt suffice to teach them to count erfeit
no more trade-marks, and may deter some other rogues from the like
dishonesty. It is to be wished that there were in England a Tribuna,
as able and willing as that of Rheims to bring brand-forgers, and ah
other swindling imitators, to reason.
Awful Situation!
A Nautical Correspondent, gives us a graphic account of his position
in a recent storm ; tie says, “ The breeze was blowing galely at first
but soon became furious. The little craft, which required all our
cunning to manage, had been well pitch’d before leaving shore, and was
now well tossed about at sea. Few ol us knew what, to do. The heac.
wiuds blew fearfully; we sat speechless with terror, seeing wind anr.
tide against us, for, alas! we were tongue-tied in a head wind! A
terrible night! ” _
HINT TO HOUSEHOLDERS.
A Gentleman who lives in the country, but holds a badly-built
house in town on a repairing lease, cannot of course continue for any
length of time away from his Metropolitan residence, as he must be
always repairing there.
Police !—An offender having been brought up before the sitting
Magistrate at Bow S'reet, applied a low epithet to his Worship. He
was committed for a Term.