DOI Heft:
November 14, 1863
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16872#0213
202
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[November 14, 1863.
man for anything that was good for the hair, and I thought walnuts
were as harmless as anything else. What inconsistent nonsense you talk.
Mrs. N. I ! Hm. {Smiles.)
[And they go on the Parade, and the humbled Mr. Naggleton is
quite civil and polite all the afternoon.
HOW, WHEN, AND WHERE?
OR. THE MODERN TOURIST'S GUIDE TO THE CONTINENT.
t four o’clock in the morning the happy
peasants on the top of the Rigi blow their
cow’s-horns, and the miserable visitors,
who are just dropping gently into their
first sleep (for anything beyond a feverish
snooze has been utterly impracticable up
to this hour), will doubtless “ blow those
horns” too, but nevertheless they will
grumble and get up to look at the Sunrise,
not because they like it, but because it is
the proper thing to do, and is in fact the
aim and end they’ve had in view all along.
Swaddled in rugs and blankets the
shivering Tourist appears in front of the
Hotel. As a rule the Sunrise is an utter
failure, though it ought not to be, consider-
ing how many times it has gone through
the part before. Like almost all theatrical
artistes, Glorious Apollo gets very care-
less. Stars are not free from this fault,
and the Sun is suffering from the force ol
bad example. We believe that he has
lately got into a very low Sun set. Unless
they’ve improved their arrangements with
new scenery, decorations, and appoint-
ments since we’ve been there, you must
not expect anything more than a confused mass of clouds and mist,
and the only 'Rise you’re likely to see, is the rise which is pretty
certain to be taken out of the angry audience, who, however, if they are
free Britons, may use their privilege as such, and hiss the entire per-
formance. The cow-horn players actually have the impudence to go round
and ask for money from the assembled Tourists. Of course you will
simply say “ that you never give to people in the streets,” and should
they artfully suggest that you can give it them in the House,” you
can pretend not to understand; or should you feel yourself suffi-
ciently strong for the occasion, you can literally “ take them in,” and
“ pay them out ” in a novel and unexpected manner.
The next movement is to get some breakfast, and then ask for your
bill. When you’ve got your bill, do not at once cut your stick, which
would be, what a low-bred woodman might call, a specimen of bill-
hooking it.
The Young Jack and Jill having gone up the hill must now come
down ; and here will be an
opportunity for Jack to
show his a-Jill-ity. It
takes about two hours and
a half to ascend the Rigi,
and it takes a quarter of
an hour to descend. There
are several modes of down-
ward progression. The
First is called :—
The Flying Fluteplayer.
Hold your alpenstock like
a flute, and whistle a tune,
if you can, to assist the
illusion. Stretch out one
leg, whichever you like;
march, quick time, don’t
stop playing the flute, and
away you go.—N.B. Paper,
pens, ink, and the usual
forms for making your
will, can be obtained at
the Rigi Culm, and the
obliging landlord will, for a
consideration, be a witness to anything. The Second is termed—
The Venturesome V. Sit down in the shape of a Y, keeping your
hands disengaged, so as to save yourself from bumping against the sharp
projections, which would otherwise annoy the unwary traveller. The
Third is known as—
The Cautious Crocodile, and is, perhaps, better adapted for the pro-
gress of invalids and elderly gentlemen than either of the above.
We advise the Tourist to descend on the Weggis side, where the lake
of Lucerne is. Here you are in the land of William Tell, as the
boatmen will tell you, and
where also you will be toll’d
for your boat. The traveller,
who understands German,
should take Schiller’s
Wilhelm Tell in his pocket;
and the traveller, who doesn’t
understand it, will, if he take
it, keep it there.
Here you will see the giant
mountain, Mount Pilatus.
There is an old legend con-
cerning the derivation of
the name which everybody
knows, and according to
some, the title is only a cor-
ruption of Pileatus, which
means “ Capped,” in allusion
to the ceremony always ob-
served by the superstitious
peasantry on looking in that
direction. Be the derivation
from the story of Pilatus, or
the fact of being Pileatus,
one thing is certain, that, as the mountain can always give certain
prophetic signs of a coming storm, surer even than those of Admiral
Fitzroy, he, the mountain,
not the Admiral, may be
considered as the safest
Pilot on the lake.
Land at Lucerne, and
heartily admire the memo-
rial Lion. Think of Sir
Edwin Landseer, the
Nelson Column, Squirts
of Trafalgar Square, the
Lowther Arcade, and re-
joice in your proud birth-
right.
Visit Tell’s Chapel on
the lake; then, to his me-
mory drink with spirit in
the waters of freedom at
Griitli; but be cautious
as to the amount of spirit
mixed with the waters,
lest, in keeping the pa-
triot’s memory, you lose
your own. There have
been fierce disputes as to
the existence of Tell,
who is, some captious prigs assert, a Swiss Mrs. Harris. The same
story, they urge, was told of one Toko in Denmark. It is within our
province to set them right. The story of the Danish gentleman was
promulgated by the friends of Gessler, the oppressive Governor, who,
as we all know, got Toko from Tell. Hence the mistake.
The Tourist in Switzerland who wishes always to be a dandy in dress,
should be provided with Murray’s invaluable Handbook for Bucks.
Now then let us get to Thun, and if we have time, visit Interlachen,
which will bring us to the last scene of all that will end this strange
adventurous history.
GOOD NEWS FOR THE COUNTRY.
Mr. Punch, Zur,
Mongst the telleegrums from Amerikey t’other day I zee this
here, which zounds like the best news we’ve a had for zome time from
that quarter. It ses as how, arter drivun back Gineral Gregg’s
cavalry upon the Federal infantry with heavy loss:—
“ The Confederates advanced to Beaton, where the fight was renewed. After a
short engagement the Federals retreated to Liberty.”
When the Confederates had druv back Gregg’s cavalry, ’twas a
precious good job they advanced to beat un; see’n the Federals there-
upon retraited to Liberty, which, Abe Lincoln have’n suspended
Habeas Corpus, was returnun to a tolerable state as quo.
I be, &c.
Baconside, Nov. 1863. John Trott.
Sporting Intelligence.—The Newmarket Jockey, who lately rode
a winning match against Time, has been presented, by way of reward,
with the Spur of the Moment.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[November 14, 1863.
man for anything that was good for the hair, and I thought walnuts
were as harmless as anything else. What inconsistent nonsense you talk.
Mrs. N. I ! Hm. {Smiles.)
[And they go on the Parade, and the humbled Mr. Naggleton is
quite civil and polite all the afternoon.
HOW, WHEN, AND WHERE?
OR. THE MODERN TOURIST'S GUIDE TO THE CONTINENT.
t four o’clock in the morning the happy
peasants on the top of the Rigi blow their
cow’s-horns, and the miserable visitors,
who are just dropping gently into their
first sleep (for anything beyond a feverish
snooze has been utterly impracticable up
to this hour), will doubtless “ blow those
horns” too, but nevertheless they will
grumble and get up to look at the Sunrise,
not because they like it, but because it is
the proper thing to do, and is in fact the
aim and end they’ve had in view all along.
Swaddled in rugs and blankets the
shivering Tourist appears in front of the
Hotel. As a rule the Sunrise is an utter
failure, though it ought not to be, consider-
ing how many times it has gone through
the part before. Like almost all theatrical
artistes, Glorious Apollo gets very care-
less. Stars are not free from this fault,
and the Sun is suffering from the force ol
bad example. We believe that he has
lately got into a very low Sun set. Unless
they’ve improved their arrangements with
new scenery, decorations, and appoint-
ments since we’ve been there, you must
not expect anything more than a confused mass of clouds and mist,
and the only 'Rise you’re likely to see, is the rise which is pretty
certain to be taken out of the angry audience, who, however, if they are
free Britons, may use their privilege as such, and hiss the entire per-
formance. The cow-horn players actually have the impudence to go round
and ask for money from the assembled Tourists. Of course you will
simply say “ that you never give to people in the streets,” and should
they artfully suggest that you can give it them in the House,” you
can pretend not to understand; or should you feel yourself suffi-
ciently strong for the occasion, you can literally “ take them in,” and
“ pay them out ” in a novel and unexpected manner.
The next movement is to get some breakfast, and then ask for your
bill. When you’ve got your bill, do not at once cut your stick, which
would be, what a low-bred woodman might call, a specimen of bill-
hooking it.
The Young Jack and Jill having gone up the hill must now come
down ; and here will be an
opportunity for Jack to
show his a-Jill-ity. It
takes about two hours and
a half to ascend the Rigi,
and it takes a quarter of
an hour to descend. There
are several modes of down-
ward progression. The
First is called :—
The Flying Fluteplayer.
Hold your alpenstock like
a flute, and whistle a tune,
if you can, to assist the
illusion. Stretch out one
leg, whichever you like;
march, quick time, don’t
stop playing the flute, and
away you go.—N.B. Paper,
pens, ink, and the usual
forms for making your
will, can be obtained at
the Rigi Culm, and the
obliging landlord will, for a
consideration, be a witness to anything. The Second is termed—
The Venturesome V. Sit down in the shape of a Y, keeping your
hands disengaged, so as to save yourself from bumping against the sharp
projections, which would otherwise annoy the unwary traveller. The
Third is known as—
The Cautious Crocodile, and is, perhaps, better adapted for the pro-
gress of invalids and elderly gentlemen than either of the above.
We advise the Tourist to descend on the Weggis side, where the lake
of Lucerne is. Here you are in the land of William Tell, as the
boatmen will tell you, and
where also you will be toll’d
for your boat. The traveller,
who understands German,
should take Schiller’s
Wilhelm Tell in his pocket;
and the traveller, who doesn’t
understand it, will, if he take
it, keep it there.
Here you will see the giant
mountain, Mount Pilatus.
There is an old legend con-
cerning the derivation of
the name which everybody
knows, and according to
some, the title is only a cor-
ruption of Pileatus, which
means “ Capped,” in allusion
to the ceremony always ob-
served by the superstitious
peasantry on looking in that
direction. Be the derivation
from the story of Pilatus, or
the fact of being Pileatus,
one thing is certain, that, as the mountain can always give certain
prophetic signs of a coming storm, surer even than those of Admiral
Fitzroy, he, the mountain,
not the Admiral, may be
considered as the safest
Pilot on the lake.
Land at Lucerne, and
heartily admire the memo-
rial Lion. Think of Sir
Edwin Landseer, the
Nelson Column, Squirts
of Trafalgar Square, the
Lowther Arcade, and re-
joice in your proud birth-
right.
Visit Tell’s Chapel on
the lake; then, to his me-
mory drink with spirit in
the waters of freedom at
Griitli; but be cautious
as to the amount of spirit
mixed with the waters,
lest, in keeping the pa-
triot’s memory, you lose
your own. There have
been fierce disputes as to
the existence of Tell,
who is, some captious prigs assert, a Swiss Mrs. Harris. The same
story, they urge, was told of one Toko in Denmark. It is within our
province to set them right. The story of the Danish gentleman was
promulgated by the friends of Gessler, the oppressive Governor, who,
as we all know, got Toko from Tell. Hence the mistake.
The Tourist in Switzerland who wishes always to be a dandy in dress,
should be provided with Murray’s invaluable Handbook for Bucks.
Now then let us get to Thun, and if we have time, visit Interlachen,
which will bring us to the last scene of all that will end this strange
adventurous history.
GOOD NEWS FOR THE COUNTRY.
Mr. Punch, Zur,
Mongst the telleegrums from Amerikey t’other day I zee this
here, which zounds like the best news we’ve a had for zome time from
that quarter. It ses as how, arter drivun back Gineral Gregg’s
cavalry upon the Federal infantry with heavy loss:—
“ The Confederates advanced to Beaton, where the fight was renewed. After a
short engagement the Federals retreated to Liberty.”
When the Confederates had druv back Gregg’s cavalry, ’twas a
precious good job they advanced to beat un; see’n the Federals there-
upon retraited to Liberty, which, Abe Lincoln have’n suspended
Habeas Corpus, was returnun to a tolerable state as quo.
I be, &c.
Baconside, Nov. 1863. John Trott.
Sporting Intelligence.—The Newmarket Jockey, who lately rode
a winning match against Time, has been presented, by way of reward,
with the Spur of the Moment.