DOI issue:
December 5, 1863
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16872#0238
December 5, I8b3.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
227
be r degree I shall ask leave to put in Guy's Geography and Use of the
Globes, which I shall ask the Court to read.
Lieut. M'Sabretash. I am willing to withdraw any expressions which
I have used. _ .
Prisoner, I am advised to protest against any such course being per-
mitted, but I also call attention to the extreme pliancy of the witness’s
conscience.
At this stage of the proceedings, the Court, which had sat for eight,
hours and a half, adjourned, announcing that in the morning its decision
would be given on the last objection urged by the prisoner.
RUSSIAN PASTIMES IN POLAND.
Me. Punch.
The heart of every Russian sojourner in a strange land has
been thrilled with enthusiasm by the subjoined telegram of Reuter’s,
showing how zealously our Czar is served in Poland by his soldier-
hangmen, who know howto deal with rebels :—
“ Ignatius Sbtjszynski was shot at Warsaw on the 14th, at 10 a.h., on the glacis
of the citadel. The soldiers fired three times at the unfortunate man, and although
he was bathed in blood, not one of his wounds was mortal. The officer in command
then came close up to him and shot him with his revolver, but still without inflicting
a mortal wound. The victim was then thrown into a pit, and buried while still
alive.’
How delightful are these details of the punishment of a revolter
against the divine government of our Imperial Master! The pangs of
the traitor shot almost to death by degrees, andthen buried alive, regale
the hearts of the children of Holy Russia, just as we conceive the doom
of the enemies of Heaven to afford a pleasing spectacle to the Saints.
And, oh ! with what rapture we loyal subjects of the mighty Alexan-
der read such interesting statements as the following, in a letter from
Warsaw:—
“ We expect every day to hear of the execution of two ladies who have been con-
demned to death—the Abbess of the Convent of the Sisters of St. Felix, and a lady
who took refuge in that convent. It appears that this execution is delayed by the
hesitation of the Government which wavers between its desire to terrorise women
and its fear of the indignation of Europe.”
Not so, however. The Government of the Supreme Ruler of all the
Russias despises the indignation of Europe. It will hang, or behead,
or shoot, or flog the Abbess of St. Felix and her protegee to death.—I
hope it will flog them to dealh—in its own good time. In the mean-
while I trust that they are continually tortured, to the glory of our
Czar; and I derive the most exquisite gratification from imagining that
I hear their shrieks and survey their contortions.
The writer of the letter above-quoted goes on to say:—
'“If these two women are executed, I am certain that two hundred more will be
found ready to share their fate.”
I sincerely hope they will share it. And when those two hundred
women have been executed, ma.v their execution be speedily followed by
that of another two hundred. The more the merrier. It is, indeed,
cheering to read, in connection with the foregoing, the further remark
that:—
“ In spite of all the atrocities committed by Moubavieff—the flogging of women
to death, the slow torture inflicted on Florkowski, who was attached to the tail of
a horse in full gallop—these victims of Russian cruelty have found numerous sue-
cessors. *
“ One down t’other come on,” as your people say. This must go on
till the Poles are either exterminated or crushed; I had rather see them
crushed, surviving as examples of the wrath and vengeance of our
Czar. Rut, Sir, you love a joke—don’t you see one in the description
ot Florkowski’s punishment as “slow torture,” whereas that criminal
was “ attached to the tail of a horse in lull gallop ? ” I call that fast
torture. Don’t you? Well, Mr. Punch, I know that our “Russian
cruelties,” as your newspapers call the chastisements inflicted by the
avenging angels Mouraviefe and De Berg, exasperate the British,
and the French, and every “ civilised nation.” Your execrations amuse
us. You, alone, cannot get at us, and we defy you. You ean’t trust
'l|e French, you dread a Popish state established in the Fast of Europe.
Prussia is for us, the other Powers have separate interests, which
render any alliance against us impossible, so we snap our fingers at
you, and the more you cry out upon us the more we shall keep on
shooting, hanging, and torturing the. Poles right and left, and flogging
Polish ladies to death. With sentiments of esteem for Cobden and
Bright, the friends of our friends the Yankees, our allies in the event
of a war with England, accept the assurance of my supreme contempt
tor that, public opinion which has no arm long enough to reach, without
catcl,m8:- ' A Tartar.
US. What sport our gibbets and scourges in Poland must afford the
spirit of the blessed Nicholas !
A Ghost we should like Excessively to See.—The Ghost of
Crinoline.
HOW, WHEN AND WHERE?
OB, THE MODERN TOURIST’S GUIDE TO THE CONTINENT.
Unless the Tourist is going to somewhere else, he will not pursue the
Lauterbrunnen Road any farther. On his return to the hotel at Inter-
jaeiien, the pedestrian will probably be inclined to walk into his dinner.
The real economist, by the way, will never live en pension. It sounds very
nice ; only six francs a day for everything ! You agree and commence,
let us say, with breakfast. Being an Englishman, and accustomed to
make rather a substantial affair of your first meal in the day, you are
somewhat surprised when the waiter brings you a small coffee-pot
holding about a cupfull and a half, a diminutive and aerial looking
French roll, one small thin pat of butter, and a kind of large earthen-
ware salt-cellar filled with lump-sugar. It is true that whatever is
deficient in bread and butter is certainly made up to you in saccharine
nutriment; but, eke it out as you will, this is hardly a substitute for
the fish, meat and eggs of the domestic table. The guileless traveller
will probably call the waiter, and order a couple of eggs and some more
bread. At midday the simple Simon will further command a light repast,
and, while enjoying himself with a cold collation, will say 10 a friend,
’ Capital idea this, you know; I’m living en pension; only six francs
a day, and it includes everything!' The friend, being perhaps unwilling
to disturb this blissful state of ignorance, will perhaps say in a tone of
surprise, “ Oh, does it ?” If the Tourist be of a fidgety turn, he will
repeat these words to himself in his friend’s absence in the form of
an inquiry as to “ what’s he mean by ‘ oh does it ? ’ ” The explanation,
which will be given in the bill at the end of the week, will probably
cause the simple one to lengthen his face and shorten his stay.
Why,” says the indignant gentleman, “ I thought en pension included
everything, and here (emphatically slapping the little account) I find eggs
charged extra.”
“ Yes, M’sieu,” explains the polite gargon, “ but M’sieu must un-
derstand that everything in an en pension sense means only the regula-
tion breakfast provided by the hotel. Some coffee, a little bread, some
milk, some sugar, is everything that-”
“ But—surely—Eggs—you know-” gasps the Tourist.
“ Ah ! M’sieu, eggs are not everyt hing.”
And so the Tourist having learnt that, as at home so abroad, “ Eggs
is Eggs,” and that the comprehensive Everything often means almost
Nothing, packs up his portmanteau and returns to England a wiser and
a sadder man. But he mustn’t pack, and he mustn’t go back, until he
has seen the sights round about Interlachen; unless indeed his econo-
mical living en pension lias rendered his departure an inevitable necessity.
Seek then the Lake of Brienz and the
Giessbach Falls. If you are a member of
the Alpine Club you will take your way
to the Lake of Brienz by ascending the
Faulhorn and walking along a pleasant
footpath which cannot be attempted
without a guide; so take this present
number with you, and there ’ll be nothing
to fear. When on a dizzy height or a
dangerous pass, such as the one first men-
tioned, never look down at the depths below
you; such a proceeding is fraught with
danger : on the other hand you will find
that the method, practised by some, of
invariably keeping your eyes steadfastly
fixed on the sky, is not entirely without
its own peculiar disadvantages. The
woods about the Giessbach Falls offer
many charms to the naturalist. Here the
rare hen Cockeyolly Bird pipes her tune-
ful lay ; a peculiar note it is, and speci-
mens of this Ornithological curiosity may
be seen in the Lowther Arcade, the Pan-
theon, and the German Bazaar.
In Switzerland the Physiologist will
notice the glorious type of Face, immor-
talised by the carvers of wooden match-
boxes, nutmeg-graters, and ornamental
paper-knives. The searcher after Physi-
cal Facts may try to ascertain if their heads come off; but we believe
they do not, as a rule; still there’s no harm in making the experiment,
if agreeable to the peasant.
Strict Impartiality.
So strictly are the laws against smoking carried out at Windsor
Castle, that the very chimneys have received intimation from the Lord
Chamberlain that they will be expected for the future to consume
their own smoke. It will thus be seen that not the least partiality is
shown, high or low.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
227
be r degree I shall ask leave to put in Guy's Geography and Use of the
Globes, which I shall ask the Court to read.
Lieut. M'Sabretash. I am willing to withdraw any expressions which
I have used. _ .
Prisoner, I am advised to protest against any such course being per-
mitted, but I also call attention to the extreme pliancy of the witness’s
conscience.
At this stage of the proceedings, the Court, which had sat for eight,
hours and a half, adjourned, announcing that in the morning its decision
would be given on the last objection urged by the prisoner.
RUSSIAN PASTIMES IN POLAND.
Me. Punch.
The heart of every Russian sojourner in a strange land has
been thrilled with enthusiasm by the subjoined telegram of Reuter’s,
showing how zealously our Czar is served in Poland by his soldier-
hangmen, who know howto deal with rebels :—
“ Ignatius Sbtjszynski was shot at Warsaw on the 14th, at 10 a.h., on the glacis
of the citadel. The soldiers fired three times at the unfortunate man, and although
he was bathed in blood, not one of his wounds was mortal. The officer in command
then came close up to him and shot him with his revolver, but still without inflicting
a mortal wound. The victim was then thrown into a pit, and buried while still
alive.’
How delightful are these details of the punishment of a revolter
against the divine government of our Imperial Master! The pangs of
the traitor shot almost to death by degrees, andthen buried alive, regale
the hearts of the children of Holy Russia, just as we conceive the doom
of the enemies of Heaven to afford a pleasing spectacle to the Saints.
And, oh ! with what rapture we loyal subjects of the mighty Alexan-
der read such interesting statements as the following, in a letter from
Warsaw:—
“ We expect every day to hear of the execution of two ladies who have been con-
demned to death—the Abbess of the Convent of the Sisters of St. Felix, and a lady
who took refuge in that convent. It appears that this execution is delayed by the
hesitation of the Government which wavers between its desire to terrorise women
and its fear of the indignation of Europe.”
Not so, however. The Government of the Supreme Ruler of all the
Russias despises the indignation of Europe. It will hang, or behead,
or shoot, or flog the Abbess of St. Felix and her protegee to death.—I
hope it will flog them to dealh—in its own good time. In the mean-
while I trust that they are continually tortured, to the glory of our
Czar; and I derive the most exquisite gratification from imagining that
I hear their shrieks and survey their contortions.
The writer of the letter above-quoted goes on to say:—
'“If these two women are executed, I am certain that two hundred more will be
found ready to share their fate.”
I sincerely hope they will share it. And when those two hundred
women have been executed, ma.v their execution be speedily followed by
that of another two hundred. The more the merrier. It is, indeed,
cheering to read, in connection with the foregoing, the further remark
that:—
“ In spite of all the atrocities committed by Moubavieff—the flogging of women
to death, the slow torture inflicted on Florkowski, who was attached to the tail of
a horse in full gallop—these victims of Russian cruelty have found numerous sue-
cessors. *
“ One down t’other come on,” as your people say. This must go on
till the Poles are either exterminated or crushed; I had rather see them
crushed, surviving as examples of the wrath and vengeance of our
Czar. Rut, Sir, you love a joke—don’t you see one in the description
ot Florkowski’s punishment as “slow torture,” whereas that criminal
was “ attached to the tail of a horse in lull gallop ? ” I call that fast
torture. Don’t you? Well, Mr. Punch, I know that our “Russian
cruelties,” as your newspapers call the chastisements inflicted by the
avenging angels Mouraviefe and De Berg, exasperate the British,
and the French, and every “ civilised nation.” Your execrations amuse
us. You, alone, cannot get at us, and we defy you. You ean’t trust
'l|e French, you dread a Popish state established in the Fast of Europe.
Prussia is for us, the other Powers have separate interests, which
render any alliance against us impossible, so we snap our fingers at
you, and the more you cry out upon us the more we shall keep on
shooting, hanging, and torturing the. Poles right and left, and flogging
Polish ladies to death. With sentiments of esteem for Cobden and
Bright, the friends of our friends the Yankees, our allies in the event
of a war with England, accept the assurance of my supreme contempt
tor that, public opinion which has no arm long enough to reach, without
catcl,m8:- ' A Tartar.
US. What sport our gibbets and scourges in Poland must afford the
spirit of the blessed Nicholas !
A Ghost we should like Excessively to See.—The Ghost of
Crinoline.
HOW, WHEN AND WHERE?
OB, THE MODERN TOURIST’S GUIDE TO THE CONTINENT.
Unless the Tourist is going to somewhere else, he will not pursue the
Lauterbrunnen Road any farther. On his return to the hotel at Inter-
jaeiien, the pedestrian will probably be inclined to walk into his dinner.
The real economist, by the way, will never live en pension. It sounds very
nice ; only six francs a day for everything ! You agree and commence,
let us say, with breakfast. Being an Englishman, and accustomed to
make rather a substantial affair of your first meal in the day, you are
somewhat surprised when the waiter brings you a small coffee-pot
holding about a cupfull and a half, a diminutive and aerial looking
French roll, one small thin pat of butter, and a kind of large earthen-
ware salt-cellar filled with lump-sugar. It is true that whatever is
deficient in bread and butter is certainly made up to you in saccharine
nutriment; but, eke it out as you will, this is hardly a substitute for
the fish, meat and eggs of the domestic table. The guileless traveller
will probably call the waiter, and order a couple of eggs and some more
bread. At midday the simple Simon will further command a light repast,
and, while enjoying himself with a cold collation, will say 10 a friend,
’ Capital idea this, you know; I’m living en pension; only six francs
a day, and it includes everything!' The friend, being perhaps unwilling
to disturb this blissful state of ignorance, will perhaps say in a tone of
surprise, “ Oh, does it ?” If the Tourist be of a fidgety turn, he will
repeat these words to himself in his friend’s absence in the form of
an inquiry as to “ what’s he mean by ‘ oh does it ? ’ ” The explanation,
which will be given in the bill at the end of the week, will probably
cause the simple one to lengthen his face and shorten his stay.
Why,” says the indignant gentleman, “ I thought en pension included
everything, and here (emphatically slapping the little account) I find eggs
charged extra.”
“ Yes, M’sieu,” explains the polite gargon, “ but M’sieu must un-
derstand that everything in an en pension sense means only the regula-
tion breakfast provided by the hotel. Some coffee, a little bread, some
milk, some sugar, is everything that-”
“ But—surely—Eggs—you know-” gasps the Tourist.
“ Ah ! M’sieu, eggs are not everyt hing.”
And so the Tourist having learnt that, as at home so abroad, “ Eggs
is Eggs,” and that the comprehensive Everything often means almost
Nothing, packs up his portmanteau and returns to England a wiser and
a sadder man. But he mustn’t pack, and he mustn’t go back, until he
has seen the sights round about Interlachen; unless indeed his econo-
mical living en pension lias rendered his departure an inevitable necessity.
Seek then the Lake of Brienz and the
Giessbach Falls. If you are a member of
the Alpine Club you will take your way
to the Lake of Brienz by ascending the
Faulhorn and walking along a pleasant
footpath which cannot be attempted
without a guide; so take this present
number with you, and there ’ll be nothing
to fear. When on a dizzy height or a
dangerous pass, such as the one first men-
tioned, never look down at the depths below
you; such a proceeding is fraught with
danger : on the other hand you will find
that the method, practised by some, of
invariably keeping your eyes steadfastly
fixed on the sky, is not entirely without
its own peculiar disadvantages. The
woods about the Giessbach Falls offer
many charms to the naturalist. Here the
rare hen Cockeyolly Bird pipes her tune-
ful lay ; a peculiar note it is, and speci-
mens of this Ornithological curiosity may
be seen in the Lowther Arcade, the Pan-
theon, and the German Bazaar.
In Switzerland the Physiologist will
notice the glorious type of Face, immor-
talised by the carvers of wooden match-
boxes, nutmeg-graters, and ornamental
paper-knives. The searcher after Physi-
cal Facts may try to ascertain if their heads come off; but we believe
they do not, as a rule; still there’s no harm in making the experiment,
if agreeable to the peasant.
Strict Impartiality.
So strictly are the laws against smoking carried out at Windsor
Castle, that the very chimneys have received intimation from the Lord
Chamberlain that they will be expected for the future to consume
their own smoke. It will thus be seen that not the least partiality is
shown, high or low.