Punch (45.1863)

258 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [December 26, 1863.

Tiresome Child. “ I say, Aunt Gerty, when I'm as tall as Captain White, do you think I shall grow through my Hair, as he lias ? ”

ERMINE EMANCIPATED.

0, Presbyterian Record, in margined black be seen!

Dames de la Halle—of Exeter, tear all your crinoline !

Down from thy horse, bold Newdegate ! To Smithfield’s fires appeal,
Ghb Whalley, Phoenix from the ash of Spooner’s burnt-out zeal!

For see, upon the ermine comes a fearful scarlet smudge,

And on the British Bench there sits a downright Papist Judge.

What William Pitt desired to do, but never could perform,

What Wellington did not desire, but did, and hushed a storm;
Emancipation’s righteous work, o’er which we had the row.

Was never in its fulness fairly carried out till now;

And Hunch, the anti-Papal, marks the epoch with applause,

When any rag is torn away that tells of penal laws.

What harm a Papist Judge could do we found it hard to say :

A man who crossed himself might know who a crossed cheque should

pay; '

A man, although confessed, might mulct a confitentem reum,

And, though he prayed in Latin, judge what’s tuum and what’s meum;
Though sprinkled with the holy eau, might give a wretch a drop,

And, even on fast-days, interfere loose evidence to stop.

But no, we wouldn’t have him, though he’d all the legal lore
Of Coke, and Littleton, and Hale, and Blackstone, and Tom
More.

Should a dark Papist sit aloft with Eldons, Bayleys, Gurneys,

Who knew but. he might, shake the faith of Protestant, attorneys p
Make clerks in articles turn priests, and copying clerks turn monks,
Nay, change the very bailiffs into Ultramontane skunks ?

We ’re wiser, as the weeping Hall of Exeter may see :

Lord Westbury has made a Judge of learned Serjeant Shee,

An Irish Catholic; aud yet St Paul’s is standing, yes,

(Up to the time, at least, that these eight verses went to press).

On the Queen’s Bench he sits aloft, bewigged, nor can we find
That Cockburn, Crompton, Blackburn, or John Mellor has
resigned.

Yet wipe short-sighted eyes, O friends, and do not be afraid:

’Tis not to Rome, but Justice, that a legal debt is paid.

Eugland permits no honest creed a character to flaw.

Nor prejudice to injure rights accorded by the law:

An upright man, a lawyer skilled, shall have his due, were he
Eive hundred times more Catholic than Mr. Justice Shee.

Hunch is the best of Protestants, and lives in daily hope

To see a Priest, aud nothing more, in him who’s now King Pope.

And for such English priests as dare their Popish tricks to try,
lie keeps a rod that oft hath made the raw material fly:

Rut when a lawful prize is set. and bath been fairly won,

His Writ is like his gracious Queen’s, and saith, “Let Right be done.”

So here’s a Christmas bumper to you, Mr. Justice Shee ;

Your elevation shows we dare let Catholics be free :

Though Cockburn’s hair is—auburn, and yours is white as snow,

That makes no odds upon the bench, as both wear wigs, you know;
And while a Judge is wise and just, no Englishman will care
What’s the language of his Lordship’s creed, or the colour of his hair.

Justifiable Bigamy.

At the Central Criminal Court the other day, one John Double was
convicted of bigamy under extenuating circumstances, and sentenced
to one month’s imprisonment. That was not much; but still, if
Double is worthy of his name, has he not a right to have two wives P

NOTICE TO CORRESPONDENTS.

Hcceiiuti over one thousand jokes answering to annexed sample :—

“ Gigantic Failure in the Manchester Trade.—The failure of
Mr. R. Cobden has created a great sensation in the soft goods line.
We understand it is owing to a most unfortunate speculation in muslin
de laineH Sample not approved.

A DEEJNITION.

ITeenan and King.
Husreer and Muster.

I