DOI Heft:
July 14, 1866
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16878#0021
July 14, 18G6. |
13
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
QUESTION AND ANSWER.
Mamma. “Who was the first Man, ’Lina?”
'Lina. “I forget.”
Mamma. “Already ? Why, Adam, to be sure ! And who was the first
Woman ? ”
’Lina {after a thoughtful pause). “ Madam ! ”
BIG GAMBLERS v. LITTLE ONES.
(One of the first effects of the war has been to shut up all
the gaming tables in the small German States.)
Baden and Ems are desolate,
There’s grass ’twixt Homburg’s stones :
Wiesbaden o’er deserted halls
And vacant tables moans.
No more within the numbered ring,
The fateful ball spins round;
No more the croupier’s “faites vos jeuxf
“ Lejeu est faitff resound !
“ Rien ne va plus /” The bank is broke,
Never to ope again,
Eor winners’ gains that losses cloak.
Or losers’ desperate strain.
No more the rakes the scattered stakes,
Sweep in with watchful claw ;
Lejeu est fait! The game is up,
The players may withdraw.
Far greater gamblers, vaster stakes,
Place at the table claim ;
With armed hosts for croupier-rakes,
Ruin or Rule, for game.
When Prussia, Austria, Italy,
For Empire spin the ball;
No wonder Plomburg, Wiesbaden,
And Ems go to the wall!
Clear out, ye pretty punting knaves,
Now monarchs take your room!
Rouge gagne—ten thousand soldier-slaves.
At each deal meet their doom.
See Couleur perd—both gold and black •
And red and white, and green,
Yet Couleur gagne—French tricolor—
Whose backer stakes unseen !
A Passing Thought.
At Princess Helena’s marriage, the Court authority
says, “ none of Prince Christian’s male relations were
able to attend.”
Considering what the bride’s brother has done for Mr.
Poole, we should have thought that he might have made
this possible, even at three months-
But it is no business of ours. May the bride be happy.
PUNCH’S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
Parliament waited to hear the arrangements made by Some Person.
Some Person’s Cabinet was being constructed, and will have been
revealed, in all its magnificence, before these lines are read. Mr.
Gladstone took a brief and gentlemanly farewell of the House, that
is, from the Treasury Bench, and thanked his supporters for having
sustained him through recent struggles.
Meantime, that which would have been a Parliamentary theme but
for the suspension of business, the miraculous European War, could
be but briefly alluded to. Lord Brougham expressed his horror at
the slaughter and suffering which the struggle had occasioned, and
Mr. Layard had an opportunity of certifying that the telegraphic
wWS a<ieara^e- It a few days, therefore, from the declaration of
War, Prussia had acquired a vast extent of territory, had beaten down
Austria, out-manoeuvring and out-fighting her, and would have been
m full march for Vienna, but that Austria cried “ Enough,” gave up
Venetia to France, to be rendered to Italy, and begged for an armis-
tice. Italy is free from the Alps to the Adriatic. Sardinia does not,
at present, belong to France. This is the quickest war ever fought.
Let us hope that it is quite over. What say the Ultramontanists to
the preternatural triumph of Protestant Arms P
Only Half an Advertisement.
The first line of one of Mr. Vining’s advertisements to the quick
and superficial reader runs thus:—
STIRLING will appear this evening in the HUGUENOT CAP-
and very becoming such head-gear must be. This presents an attrac-
tion to the Princess’s in itself, even if the “-tain” did not occur in the
next line to tell us of the novelty at this theatre.
VENUS AND VALOUR.
Mr. Punch—Sir,
I’ve been aboard, since I last writ you, of that queer Yankee
craft—mind your authography-—the Monitor Miantonomoh. It won’t
do. How can a A. B., what is worth his sea-salt, feel any nat’ral love
and affection for a wessel without a figure-head ? Of course a lands-
man can’t understand this sort of sentimentalism, but a A. B. has a
’Art, and printed on that ’Art, if you could see it, you would find two
lovely images: first, his ship ; and second, his Susan. Eor both of
them, what is his high dols, he’d fight at any hour and against any
odds, and why ? because they ’re sweetly beautiful, whether adorned,
with crinoline or close reefed, in gipsy bonnet or scudding under hare
poles. But a A. B. can’t worship a Box-iron no more than he can a
Hottentot, afloat or ashore. Beauty he must have in ship-shape, and
them schoolmissese§ or monitors, are ugliness parsonified. “ Wenus
and Walour ” is my motto, and if you was to ask all the fleet, I ’ll be
bound ten thousand woices would unite with mine in singing that
natural anthem, “And so say all of us.”
&c., bediently yours,
Ben Bunting,
H.M.S. Arethusa.
Beales within Beales.
Just as the House rose on Thursday, Sir Roun dell Palmer intro-
duced a Bill in reference to the Qualifications of Revising Barristers.
The first Clause, we understand, is this—
That no revising Barrister shall, at a public meeting, denounce any gentleman
as a Vile Caitiff.”
Mr. Edmond Beales, we hear, means to oppose the measure,
when he shall have finished cutting off somebody’s head at Whitehall.
13
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
QUESTION AND ANSWER.
Mamma. “Who was the first Man, ’Lina?”
'Lina. “I forget.”
Mamma. “Already ? Why, Adam, to be sure ! And who was the first
Woman ? ”
’Lina {after a thoughtful pause). “ Madam ! ”
BIG GAMBLERS v. LITTLE ONES.
(One of the first effects of the war has been to shut up all
the gaming tables in the small German States.)
Baden and Ems are desolate,
There’s grass ’twixt Homburg’s stones :
Wiesbaden o’er deserted halls
And vacant tables moans.
No more within the numbered ring,
The fateful ball spins round;
No more the croupier’s “faites vos jeuxf
“ Lejeu est faitff resound !
“ Rien ne va plus /” The bank is broke,
Never to ope again,
Eor winners’ gains that losses cloak.
Or losers’ desperate strain.
No more the rakes the scattered stakes,
Sweep in with watchful claw ;
Lejeu est fait! The game is up,
The players may withdraw.
Far greater gamblers, vaster stakes,
Place at the table claim ;
With armed hosts for croupier-rakes,
Ruin or Rule, for game.
When Prussia, Austria, Italy,
For Empire spin the ball;
No wonder Plomburg, Wiesbaden,
And Ems go to the wall!
Clear out, ye pretty punting knaves,
Now monarchs take your room!
Rouge gagne—ten thousand soldier-slaves.
At each deal meet their doom.
See Couleur perd—both gold and black •
And red and white, and green,
Yet Couleur gagne—French tricolor—
Whose backer stakes unseen !
A Passing Thought.
At Princess Helena’s marriage, the Court authority
says, “ none of Prince Christian’s male relations were
able to attend.”
Considering what the bride’s brother has done for Mr.
Poole, we should have thought that he might have made
this possible, even at three months-
But it is no business of ours. May the bride be happy.
PUNCH’S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
Parliament waited to hear the arrangements made by Some Person.
Some Person’s Cabinet was being constructed, and will have been
revealed, in all its magnificence, before these lines are read. Mr.
Gladstone took a brief and gentlemanly farewell of the House, that
is, from the Treasury Bench, and thanked his supporters for having
sustained him through recent struggles.
Meantime, that which would have been a Parliamentary theme but
for the suspension of business, the miraculous European War, could
be but briefly alluded to. Lord Brougham expressed his horror at
the slaughter and suffering which the struggle had occasioned, and
Mr. Layard had an opportunity of certifying that the telegraphic
wWS a<ieara^e- It a few days, therefore, from the declaration of
War, Prussia had acquired a vast extent of territory, had beaten down
Austria, out-manoeuvring and out-fighting her, and would have been
m full march for Vienna, but that Austria cried “ Enough,” gave up
Venetia to France, to be rendered to Italy, and begged for an armis-
tice. Italy is free from the Alps to the Adriatic. Sardinia does not,
at present, belong to France. This is the quickest war ever fought.
Let us hope that it is quite over. What say the Ultramontanists to
the preternatural triumph of Protestant Arms P
Only Half an Advertisement.
The first line of one of Mr. Vining’s advertisements to the quick
and superficial reader runs thus:—
STIRLING will appear this evening in the HUGUENOT CAP-
and very becoming such head-gear must be. This presents an attrac-
tion to the Princess’s in itself, even if the “-tain” did not occur in the
next line to tell us of the novelty at this theatre.
VENUS AND VALOUR.
Mr. Punch—Sir,
I’ve been aboard, since I last writ you, of that queer Yankee
craft—mind your authography-—the Monitor Miantonomoh. It won’t
do. How can a A. B., what is worth his sea-salt, feel any nat’ral love
and affection for a wessel without a figure-head ? Of course a lands-
man can’t understand this sort of sentimentalism, but a A. B. has a
’Art, and printed on that ’Art, if you could see it, you would find two
lovely images: first, his ship ; and second, his Susan. Eor both of
them, what is his high dols, he’d fight at any hour and against any
odds, and why ? because they ’re sweetly beautiful, whether adorned,
with crinoline or close reefed, in gipsy bonnet or scudding under hare
poles. But a A. B. can’t worship a Box-iron no more than he can a
Hottentot, afloat or ashore. Beauty he must have in ship-shape, and
them schoolmissese§ or monitors, are ugliness parsonified. “ Wenus
and Walour ” is my motto, and if you was to ask all the fleet, I ’ll be
bound ten thousand woices would unite with mine in singing that
natural anthem, “And so say all of us.”
&c., bediently yours,
Ben Bunting,
H.M.S. Arethusa.
Beales within Beales.
Just as the House rose on Thursday, Sir Roun dell Palmer intro-
duced a Bill in reference to the Qualifications of Revising Barristers.
The first Clause, we understand, is this—
That no revising Barrister shall, at a public meeting, denounce any gentleman
as a Vile Caitiff.”
Mr. Edmond Beales, we hear, means to oppose the measure,
when he shall have finished cutting off somebody’s head at Whitehall.