DOI Heft:
December 29, 1866
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16878#0267
December 29, 1866] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
INCENSE-IBILITY.
Reverend Father. “You are Sure this is something quite New?”
Incensor. “ Oh, yes, Reverend Father. It has all the Beauties of the
“.Jockey Club,’ without its Profanity.”
A GAROTTER’S CHRISTMAS.
At the Leeds Winter Assizes a poor fellow, named Michael Guity, was con-
victed of a street robbery, committed on the 15th of September last at Bradford.
He had the misfortune to be tried before Mr. Justice Lush; for the robbery
spears to have been accompanied by violence; and Judge Lush is accustomed
to take care that the law recently enacted for the punishment of that species of
crime shall be carried out. Moreover, a previous conviction had been proved
against poor Guity, and, although only twenty-six years of age, lie appeared to
have led, for many of them, a life of crime. So
“ His Lordship sentenced the prisoner to ten years’ penal servitude, and said that as the Legis-
lature had recently given the power to punish by flogging crimes of this nature, and as the present
case seemed a very proper one for the exercise of that power, he should fin ther order the prisoner
to receive twenty-four strokes with the cat-o’-nine-tails before the commencement of the sentence
of penal servitude.”
CHRISTMAS WAITS.
The Waits, the Waits, the Christmas Waits,
All in the dark and cold,
Without the Future’s close-barred gates
Their chilly night-watch hold.
Their discord drowns the Christmas chime
That peals the blessed birth :
Nor theirs the song of Christmas time,—
Peace and Goodwill on Earth.
Look, the Pope waits for Rome to rise,
And Italy to fall,
By Spain’s and Austria’s emprize,
At U-ltramontanes’ call.
Waits till the ages’ course run back,
Till, with the dial’s turn,
New Dominies shall ply the rack,
New Torquemadas burn.
Le, Rome waits till the Pope decide
If he shall shake her dust
From his vexed feet, or gulp his pride,
And “ cannot ” change for “ must.”
Waits till the leopard shift her spots.
The iEthiop his skin,
Till priests know God’s from CiESAu’s lots,
And let lay-rulers in.
Lo, where Napoleon waits to crown
The structure of his will,
That for the Freedom promised long
Has waited, and waits still.
Waits till his broader tighter grasp
On France’s strength is laid ;
Till Europe shall, like Paris, clasp
His sovereign knees, dismayed.
Lo, where, with mushroom growth of might.
Half elate, half aghast,
Prussia, upon her dizzy height,
Waits Bismarck’s daring cast.
Waits fill she know if what is left
Of Germany shall fall
Into her lap, or she be cleft,
Herself, in pieces small.
And lo, where batter’d Austria waits.
With a Micavober air,
For something to turn up, her fates
To change from foul to fair :
Waits President, waits Congress keen,
Two athletes on their guard,
To give each other back-falls clean,
And hit each other hard.
Britannia waits to see what Bill
The Derby lot can hatch :
Bright waits for Dizzy—Dizzy, still,
Waits for Bright at the scratch.
Financiers, great in cant and crash,
Wait Justice blind and dumb ;
Choused shareholders wait for their cash
Till the Greek Kalends come.
The day fixed for the chastisement allotted to Michael Guity was not named.
Time is usually allowed a convict to prepare for the scourge. Perhaps, if Michael
has not been flogged as yet, his flagellation was postponed till after Christmas.
P e affectionately invite our dear roughs to consider what a Christmas, in that
case, he must have passed. Together with all the rest of his brethren in bonds,
he was probably regaled on Christmas-Day with the “ customary old English
fare—roast beef and plum-pudding.” With what appetite could he have par-
taken of Christmas cheer when “whipping cheer” awaited him? A victim of
ruffianly violence may derive some_ satisfaction from imagining the emotion with
which Mr. Michael Guity, anticipating the reception of two dozen lashes, must
have heard the wish, possibly addressed to him, of “ A merry Christmas and a
banuy New Year.”
That, by the way, is a compliment of the season which we take this opportunity
of paying to that judicious provider of whipping cheer and a warm back for garot-
ters, Mr. Justice Lush.
SHORT BUT AFFECTING DOMESTIC ANECDOTE.
A cruel Stepfather unmercifully beat his two stepsons. The elder went for a
soldier; the younger went for a policeman.
A PARCEL OF PROVERBS, &c, COMPLETED.
Take time by the forelock—to have his hair cut.
Follow your leader—in your daily paper.
The proof of the pudding is in the eating—a great deal
of it.
Never look a gift-horse in the mouth—lest you should
find false teeth.
The hare with many friends—was eaten at last.
A stitch in time saves nine—or more naughty words,
when a button comes off while you are dressing in a great
hurry for dinner.
One man’s meat is another man’s poison—when badly
cooked.
Don’t count your chickens before they are hatched—
by the patent Incubator.
Love is blind—and unwilling to submit to au operation.
First catch your hare—then cook it with rich gravy.
Nil Desperandum—Percy Vere
INCENSE-IBILITY.
Reverend Father. “You are Sure this is something quite New?”
Incensor. “ Oh, yes, Reverend Father. It has all the Beauties of the
“.Jockey Club,’ without its Profanity.”
A GAROTTER’S CHRISTMAS.
At the Leeds Winter Assizes a poor fellow, named Michael Guity, was con-
victed of a street robbery, committed on the 15th of September last at Bradford.
He had the misfortune to be tried before Mr. Justice Lush; for the robbery
spears to have been accompanied by violence; and Judge Lush is accustomed
to take care that the law recently enacted for the punishment of that species of
crime shall be carried out. Moreover, a previous conviction had been proved
against poor Guity, and, although only twenty-six years of age, lie appeared to
have led, for many of them, a life of crime. So
“ His Lordship sentenced the prisoner to ten years’ penal servitude, and said that as the Legis-
lature had recently given the power to punish by flogging crimes of this nature, and as the present
case seemed a very proper one for the exercise of that power, he should fin ther order the prisoner
to receive twenty-four strokes with the cat-o’-nine-tails before the commencement of the sentence
of penal servitude.”
CHRISTMAS WAITS.
The Waits, the Waits, the Christmas Waits,
All in the dark and cold,
Without the Future’s close-barred gates
Their chilly night-watch hold.
Their discord drowns the Christmas chime
That peals the blessed birth :
Nor theirs the song of Christmas time,—
Peace and Goodwill on Earth.
Look, the Pope waits for Rome to rise,
And Italy to fall,
By Spain’s and Austria’s emprize,
At U-ltramontanes’ call.
Waits till the ages’ course run back,
Till, with the dial’s turn,
New Dominies shall ply the rack,
New Torquemadas burn.
Le, Rome waits till the Pope decide
If he shall shake her dust
From his vexed feet, or gulp his pride,
And “ cannot ” change for “ must.”
Waits till the leopard shift her spots.
The iEthiop his skin,
Till priests know God’s from CiESAu’s lots,
And let lay-rulers in.
Lo, where Napoleon waits to crown
The structure of his will,
That for the Freedom promised long
Has waited, and waits still.
Waits till his broader tighter grasp
On France’s strength is laid ;
Till Europe shall, like Paris, clasp
His sovereign knees, dismayed.
Lo, where, with mushroom growth of might.
Half elate, half aghast,
Prussia, upon her dizzy height,
Waits Bismarck’s daring cast.
Waits fill she know if what is left
Of Germany shall fall
Into her lap, or she be cleft,
Herself, in pieces small.
And lo, where batter’d Austria waits.
With a Micavober air,
For something to turn up, her fates
To change from foul to fair :
Waits President, waits Congress keen,
Two athletes on their guard,
To give each other back-falls clean,
And hit each other hard.
Britannia waits to see what Bill
The Derby lot can hatch :
Bright waits for Dizzy—Dizzy, still,
Waits for Bright at the scratch.
Financiers, great in cant and crash,
Wait Justice blind and dumb ;
Choused shareholders wait for their cash
Till the Greek Kalends come.
The day fixed for the chastisement allotted to Michael Guity was not named.
Time is usually allowed a convict to prepare for the scourge. Perhaps, if Michael
has not been flogged as yet, his flagellation was postponed till after Christmas.
P e affectionately invite our dear roughs to consider what a Christmas, in that
case, he must have passed. Together with all the rest of his brethren in bonds,
he was probably regaled on Christmas-Day with the “ customary old English
fare—roast beef and plum-pudding.” With what appetite could he have par-
taken of Christmas cheer when “whipping cheer” awaited him? A victim of
ruffianly violence may derive some_ satisfaction from imagining the emotion with
which Mr. Michael Guity, anticipating the reception of two dozen lashes, must
have heard the wish, possibly addressed to him, of “ A merry Christmas and a
banuy New Year.”
That, by the way, is a compliment of the season which we take this opportunity
of paying to that judicious provider of whipping cheer and a warm back for garot-
ters, Mr. Justice Lush.
SHORT BUT AFFECTING DOMESTIC ANECDOTE.
A cruel Stepfather unmercifully beat his two stepsons. The elder went for a
soldier; the younger went for a policeman.
A PARCEL OF PROVERBS, &c, COMPLETED.
Take time by the forelock—to have his hair cut.
Follow your leader—in your daily paper.
The proof of the pudding is in the eating—a great deal
of it.
Never look a gift-horse in the mouth—lest you should
find false teeth.
The hare with many friends—was eaten at last.
A stitch in time saves nine—or more naughty words,
when a button comes off while you are dressing in a great
hurry for dinner.
One man’s meat is another man’s poison—when badly
cooked.
Don’t count your chickens before they are hatched—
by the patent Incubator.
Love is blind—and unwilling to submit to au operation.
First catch your hare—then cook it with rich gravy.
Nil Desperandum—Percy Vere