DOI Heft:
July 21, 1866
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16878#0031
July 21, 1866.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
23
l
PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
nday , July 9. The
new Premier, the
Earl of Derby,
came down to ex-
pound to the
Peers and the
universe why he
took office, and
what he intended
to do. The Duke
of Cornwall,
and his bride the
Princess of
Wales, the Earl
of Kent, and a
crowd of Nota-
bles were present
to hear the elo-
quent Premier.
The Earl had
no feeling of per-
sonal vanity. Had
not sought that
high and onerous
post.Knew its dif-
ficulties. Should
have been happy
to remain what he
had been for
seven years, the
head of a party
powerful enough
to exercise no inconsiderable control, to give the Minister useful support or check,
and to help him to hold back the extreme radicals. Had Lord Palmerston lived,
this would have been Lord Derby’s wish. The departed nobleman had declared
that it would be unwise to attempt Reform this Session. Lord Russell had
miscalculated public feeling on the subject. The Commons would not have a
hastily-framed and fragmentary Bill forced upon them. Had the late Ministers
treated the Commons with consideration, resignation would have been needless.
But the Queen had, in the most gracious terms, desired him to make a Cabinet,
and he had done so. He had tried to form one on an enlarged basis—not a
Coalition—but a union of those who were separated by insignificant variations
of principle. For there were no deep divisions between moderate Conservatives
ana moderate Whigs. However, he had not been able to enlist any outlying
recruits.
Here his Lordship introduced an awful episode of Lord Grosvenor suddenly
appearing in Earl Derby’s chamber in St. James’s Square, at.the dead midnight,
to say that he could not join the new Cabinet.
He went on to tell the troubles of a Minister who has to make a Cabinet, and
how difficult it is to place the men, at once to their liking and to the interest of
the public. He then set forth the views of the new Ministry. Conservatives
generally had large stakes in the country, and therefore it was absurd to suppose
that they should desire war, the consequences whereof would visit them most
heavily. He thought that we ought to be on terms of good-will with all nations,
not entangle ourselves in needless alliances, and not volunteer advice on which we
did not intend to act—as Lord Russell had done. Never mind our individual
sympathies in regard to the present bloody war, let the Government be Strictly
and Impartially Neutral.
[Here their Lordships sounded the note of plaudit, and Mr. Punch begs to indorse
that Note, thereby giving it value and currency.]
The Premier complimented the wisdom which President Johnson is displaying
in re-construction, and expressed the utmost gratitude for the vigorous measures
he had taken against the Fenians.
[Here again Mr. Punch is with you, my Lord, and, the weather being warm, he
takes this opportunity of liquoring in honour of yourself and Mr. Johnson.]
The Government holds itself free and unpledged in the question of Parliamentary
Reform.
\Mr. Punch has already had the honour, your Highness, of signifying his views
of your true policy in this respect.]
A Reform Bill camiot be carried except by a mutual understanding between
the two great parties. He had never been adverse to the principles of Reform,
and, thirty-five years back, had helped Earl Russell to carry the Reform Act.
But those who are most clamorous for another Bill will probably not be satisfied
with such a measure as the Great Parties may approve. Any Bill of a moderate
character will be a mere Stepping Stone.
[Without discussing these propositions, your Highness, we have said that you
had. better let Reform alone, and that is enough for you.]
A Bankruptcy Bill is wanted, and that of the late Government is not liked.
[Well, carry a better, Highness. You have some clever lawyers in your new
Administration—we consider them as on their trial.]
The Laws relating to the Poor, especially the Pauper Sick, require attention.
[Have we not tolfi you so, Highness ? Smash the Black-guardians of the Poor.]
“ I wish,” said the Earl, “ to conciliate Ireland, and to
obtain the support of her independent Liberals.”
[No doubt, Highness. Well, there is a good deal to be
done by management, not forgetting that some persons
like invitations to distinguished assemblies in St. James’s
Square.]
The Irish are great lovers of Impartial Justice.
[The first time we have heard this, Highness. The idea
of the majority of them is that Justice should be too im-
partial to punish anybody. But they have had a good deal
of the justice which certainly cannot be called impartial.—
Try them with the superior article.]
I should like to discontinue the suspension of the Habeas
Corpus Act in Ireland, but the time has hardly come.
[No hurry, my Lord. The suspension aggrieves none
but those whose own suspension would aggrieve nobody
but themselves.]
I wish the Snake were killed, not merely Scotched.
[We suspect that were it left to Scotchmen to finish off
—such Scotchmen as settled in the north of Ireland, High-
ness,—a “ crowning mercy ” would be reported at a very
early date, and the Scotching would be uncommonly com-
plete.]
Finally, I hope for the Co-operation of many who are
not of my party, but desire good government, and I hope
the time is not far distant -when there shall be a real and
not a nominal distinction of parties, on one side those who
are in favour of dangerous innovations and violations of
the Constitution, and on the other the friends of legisla-
tive Progress.
And the Earl ended with an eloquent firework about
our glory and prosperity, and on the whole was considered
to have acquitted himself boldly and well.
The Ex-Premier then took his innings, but, as usual,
this Earl was pleased to mumble in such a way that neither
the Princes nor the reporters could make much out of some
of his sentences. He thought that Lord Palmerston
would have changed his mind if he had lived. He thought
the Reform Bill moderate, for it excluded 100,000 persons
who would have been admitted by the Bill of I860. Lord
Derby might not have desired office, but what did he look
to as the result of his party’s incessant resistance to the
Bill? Lord Derby had spoken of his difficulties, but let
him look at his advantages. Mr. Gladstone, more suc-
cessful than even Mr. Pitt, had put finance straight. The
Jamaica question had been admirably treated. The Fenians
have been put down. Lord Clarendon leaves foreign
affairs in an admirable condition. He hoped that out ei
this war German Freedom would arise. As to interference
as regarded Denmark, who could help speaking out when
treaties wrere violated ?
[It is supposed that Earl Russell said many other re-
markable things, but a Minister who will take only his hat
into his confidence cannot expect justice from the rest of
his audience.]
So ended the sitting of the Lords. The Commons could
do nothing until the new Ministers should be re-elected.
The Earl of Derby, being a poet, has amused his leisure
by composing the following Catalogue of Ministers and
their offices:—
Know each his task! Thou, Stanley, wise and cool.
O’er the Affairs called Foreign calmly rule.
As thou the proffered Peerage dost decline.
Again Finance, Disraeli, be thine.
Mellifluous Walpole shall succeed to Grey,
And the Home Office praise his courteous sway.
While Jonathan, ne Peel, to War aspires,
And arms our soldiers with yet deadlier fires.
To cynic Cranborne anxious India kneels ;
To graceful Chelmsford we assign the Seals.
Sir John, the British Navy be thy care,
See that black Turrets darken all the air,
And Henry Lennox, thou wilt not refuse
Paget’s and Bernal Osborne’s naval shoes.
The Privy Seal to kindly Malmesbury goes,
Be thou our Postman, Graham of Montrose,
Carnarvon, take the Colonies to.thee,
Because their name and thine begin with C.
And when men cry, “ Off with the Council’s Head ! ”
My Prseses, Buckingham, thy doom be said.
Devon will find the Duchy in his way.
Nothing to do and rather less to say :
Thou Stafford Northcote, whom great Gladstone
made
His scribe, address thee to the Board of Trade,
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
23
l
PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
nday , July 9. The
new Premier, the
Earl of Derby,
came down to ex-
pound to the
Peers and the
universe why he
took office, and
what he intended
to do. The Duke
of Cornwall,
and his bride the
Princess of
Wales, the Earl
of Kent, and a
crowd of Nota-
bles were present
to hear the elo-
quent Premier.
The Earl had
no feeling of per-
sonal vanity. Had
not sought that
high and onerous
post.Knew its dif-
ficulties. Should
have been happy
to remain what he
had been for
seven years, the
head of a party
powerful enough
to exercise no inconsiderable control, to give the Minister useful support or check,
and to help him to hold back the extreme radicals. Had Lord Palmerston lived,
this would have been Lord Derby’s wish. The departed nobleman had declared
that it would be unwise to attempt Reform this Session. Lord Russell had
miscalculated public feeling on the subject. The Commons would not have a
hastily-framed and fragmentary Bill forced upon them. Had the late Ministers
treated the Commons with consideration, resignation would have been needless.
But the Queen had, in the most gracious terms, desired him to make a Cabinet,
and he had done so. He had tried to form one on an enlarged basis—not a
Coalition—but a union of those who were separated by insignificant variations
of principle. For there were no deep divisions between moderate Conservatives
ana moderate Whigs. However, he had not been able to enlist any outlying
recruits.
Here his Lordship introduced an awful episode of Lord Grosvenor suddenly
appearing in Earl Derby’s chamber in St. James’s Square, at.the dead midnight,
to say that he could not join the new Cabinet.
He went on to tell the troubles of a Minister who has to make a Cabinet, and
how difficult it is to place the men, at once to their liking and to the interest of
the public. He then set forth the views of the new Ministry. Conservatives
generally had large stakes in the country, and therefore it was absurd to suppose
that they should desire war, the consequences whereof would visit them most
heavily. He thought that we ought to be on terms of good-will with all nations,
not entangle ourselves in needless alliances, and not volunteer advice on which we
did not intend to act—as Lord Russell had done. Never mind our individual
sympathies in regard to the present bloody war, let the Government be Strictly
and Impartially Neutral.
[Here their Lordships sounded the note of plaudit, and Mr. Punch begs to indorse
that Note, thereby giving it value and currency.]
The Premier complimented the wisdom which President Johnson is displaying
in re-construction, and expressed the utmost gratitude for the vigorous measures
he had taken against the Fenians.
[Here again Mr. Punch is with you, my Lord, and, the weather being warm, he
takes this opportunity of liquoring in honour of yourself and Mr. Johnson.]
The Government holds itself free and unpledged in the question of Parliamentary
Reform.
\Mr. Punch has already had the honour, your Highness, of signifying his views
of your true policy in this respect.]
A Reform Bill camiot be carried except by a mutual understanding between
the two great parties. He had never been adverse to the principles of Reform,
and, thirty-five years back, had helped Earl Russell to carry the Reform Act.
But those who are most clamorous for another Bill will probably not be satisfied
with such a measure as the Great Parties may approve. Any Bill of a moderate
character will be a mere Stepping Stone.
[Without discussing these propositions, your Highness, we have said that you
had. better let Reform alone, and that is enough for you.]
A Bankruptcy Bill is wanted, and that of the late Government is not liked.
[Well, carry a better, Highness. You have some clever lawyers in your new
Administration—we consider them as on their trial.]
The Laws relating to the Poor, especially the Pauper Sick, require attention.
[Have we not tolfi you so, Highness ? Smash the Black-guardians of the Poor.]
“ I wish,” said the Earl, “ to conciliate Ireland, and to
obtain the support of her independent Liberals.”
[No doubt, Highness. Well, there is a good deal to be
done by management, not forgetting that some persons
like invitations to distinguished assemblies in St. James’s
Square.]
The Irish are great lovers of Impartial Justice.
[The first time we have heard this, Highness. The idea
of the majority of them is that Justice should be too im-
partial to punish anybody. But they have had a good deal
of the justice which certainly cannot be called impartial.—
Try them with the superior article.]
I should like to discontinue the suspension of the Habeas
Corpus Act in Ireland, but the time has hardly come.
[No hurry, my Lord. The suspension aggrieves none
but those whose own suspension would aggrieve nobody
but themselves.]
I wish the Snake were killed, not merely Scotched.
[We suspect that were it left to Scotchmen to finish off
—such Scotchmen as settled in the north of Ireland, High-
ness,—a “ crowning mercy ” would be reported at a very
early date, and the Scotching would be uncommonly com-
plete.]
Finally, I hope for the Co-operation of many who are
not of my party, but desire good government, and I hope
the time is not far distant -when there shall be a real and
not a nominal distinction of parties, on one side those who
are in favour of dangerous innovations and violations of
the Constitution, and on the other the friends of legisla-
tive Progress.
And the Earl ended with an eloquent firework about
our glory and prosperity, and on the whole was considered
to have acquitted himself boldly and well.
The Ex-Premier then took his innings, but, as usual,
this Earl was pleased to mumble in such a way that neither
the Princes nor the reporters could make much out of some
of his sentences. He thought that Lord Palmerston
would have changed his mind if he had lived. He thought
the Reform Bill moderate, for it excluded 100,000 persons
who would have been admitted by the Bill of I860. Lord
Derby might not have desired office, but what did he look
to as the result of his party’s incessant resistance to the
Bill? Lord Derby had spoken of his difficulties, but let
him look at his advantages. Mr. Gladstone, more suc-
cessful than even Mr. Pitt, had put finance straight. The
Jamaica question had been admirably treated. The Fenians
have been put down. Lord Clarendon leaves foreign
affairs in an admirable condition. He hoped that out ei
this war German Freedom would arise. As to interference
as regarded Denmark, who could help speaking out when
treaties wrere violated ?
[It is supposed that Earl Russell said many other re-
markable things, but a Minister who will take only his hat
into his confidence cannot expect justice from the rest of
his audience.]
So ended the sitting of the Lords. The Commons could
do nothing until the new Ministers should be re-elected.
The Earl of Derby, being a poet, has amused his leisure
by composing the following Catalogue of Ministers and
their offices:—
Know each his task! Thou, Stanley, wise and cool.
O’er the Affairs called Foreign calmly rule.
As thou the proffered Peerage dost decline.
Again Finance, Disraeli, be thine.
Mellifluous Walpole shall succeed to Grey,
And the Home Office praise his courteous sway.
While Jonathan, ne Peel, to War aspires,
And arms our soldiers with yet deadlier fires.
To cynic Cranborne anxious India kneels ;
To graceful Chelmsford we assign the Seals.
Sir John, the British Navy be thy care,
See that black Turrets darken all the air,
And Henry Lennox, thou wilt not refuse
Paget’s and Bernal Osborne’s naval shoes.
The Privy Seal to kindly Malmesbury goes,
Be thou our Postman, Graham of Montrose,
Carnarvon, take the Colonies to.thee,
Because their name and thine begin with C.
And when men cry, “ Off with the Council’s Head ! ”
My Prseses, Buckingham, thy doom be said.
Devon will find the Duchy in his way.
Nothing to do and rather less to say :
Thou Stafford Northcote, whom great Gladstone
made
His scribe, address thee to the Board of Trade,