Punch (51.1866)

August 11, 1866.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

57

PUNCH’S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

windling away, but
doing its duty, Par-
liament met, for its
last complete week,
on Monday, July 30.
The progress o£ the
cholera was the very
melancholy subject
before the Lords. In
the metropolis alone
the rate of mortality
had doubled, the in-
crease being solely
due to this scourge.
The Commons, how-
ever were doing what
they could in the
way of legislation for
the public health,
and, as yet, the Lords
had only to speak of
atheological remedy,
which is applied in
an awkward way.
The Prayer has, un-
happily, become an
anachronism, but my
Lords the Bishops
will doubtless rectify
this.

Alderman Law-
rence demands that
Waterloo Bridge
shall be opened
free, for the benefit
of the many who

will be ejected by the clearance for the Temple of Justice. Govern-
ment had no intentions to announce. Later, it was mentioned that
the Architects, who are stated to be fully informed of the requisi-
tions of Law, are to send in their designs by the 15th of December.
We recommend as mottoes for the competitors, “ Astrcea Redux,”
“ The Virgin and the Scales,” “ The Oyster,” “ Fee-Farm,” “ Causes
vroduce Effects,” “ Glorious Uncertainties,” “ Agree with thine Adversary.”

Mr. OUIeirne was informed by the Secretary for Ireland that
Mr. Joseph Napier does not believe that his infirmity, deafness,
would prejudice public interests, but as the reverse impression has
been produced, he declines judicial office. Mr. Napier’s course is
so graceful and honourable that Mr. Punch scorns to hint that a certain
marvellous Cartoon may have had any influence. The picture has evi-
dently not been seen by Chief Justice Blackburn.

The Weather Office will probably be re-modelled. We mention the
announcement chiefly that we may express a hope that the subscription
for the family of Admiral Fitzroy, who died m doing his duty—and
more—to the nation, is still being increased. John Bull is easily
stirred to an instant generosity, but his memory is not of the best.

Touching Portifications, about the true principle whereof we seem
to be nearly as much in the dark as ever, it is satisfactory to state that
Government abandons a plan for taking £50,000 for the defences of
Chatham and Tilbury. At the same time, it would be agreeable to
have a few guns mounted in the very pleasant garden of the Rosher-
ville Hotel, as, after a good dinner, under the direction of Mr. Wates,
it would be rather amusing to play upon the passing craft; and these
are days when all rational entertainments should be encouraged.

Public Health and Reformatory Schools occupied us until two hi
the morning, and we had a little Protestant row about Popish sponsors,
who are thought to baptise infants, surreptitiously, into the Catholic
Church. We hope that they make amends by liberality in regard to
apostle spoons and ivory-clad missals.

Tuesday. A Currency Debate. Mr. Disraeli has well remarked in
one of his sparkling novels, that the subject of Currency, which most
concerns everybody, is the subject, therefore, about which nobody
knows or cares anything. He had to sit out a long debate in refuta-
tion of his theory. We shall certainly not report the speeches. But
with Two Hundred Companies in a state of smash, and with Bank
discount at £10 per Cent., it is hard lines for those who have not, like
Mr. Punch, cellars groaning with gold. The debate was adjourned,
like the consideration of a good many payments, just now.

Then we had. a Jamaica Debate. Briefly, every humane person de-
plores the excesses that were committed under martial law, and every
just person gives Mr. Eyre all credit for the vigour with which he
acted, and which saved Jamaica. It is clear that Gordon was a
seditious and dangerous person, who might possibly have been hanged

by a regular tribunal, but it is equally clear that he was hanged on
insufficient evidence. Several individuals have still to answer to the
law in Jamaica, and thus the matter should stand, for the present.
Mr. Russell Gdrney, who acted so ably as Commissioner in Jamaica,
spoke in the debate, and stated that the origin of the rebellion was a
general desire by the blacks to become the possessors of lands. For
saying this he has, of course, been horribly abused by the Negrophiles,
but what better testimony can be had than that of an English Judge,
who has heard the evidence ? The House rejected all the resolutions
proposed by the Jamaica Committee, except one which embodied the
expression of regret that all must feel. The Committee threaten to
prosecute Mr. Eyre, and are touting for subscriptions for the purpose.
This will produce a re-action, and Mr. Eyre will be presented with a
sword of honour. Does the Laureate sing in vain against the False-
hood of Extremes ?

Wednesday was given to Mr. Gladstone’s Bill for the Abolition of
Church Rates. The Government object to it, on principle, but did not
oppose the Second Reading, as nothing more is to be done this Session.
Mr. Punch seldom quotes, in this page, but will call attention to a Sign
of the Times. Read these eloquent lines, which refer to the debate

“ Englishmen know too well the services which the Church has rendered, to
wish for her decline. She has given us the finest theological literature in the world ;
her clergy have in every age been renowned for their scholarship, their eloquence,
and their goodness ; she has been the home of piety and tolerance, the haven of
rest to many a storm-tossed soul; and while culture has, generation after genera-
tion, accepted her divine guidance, she has emphatically been the Church of the
poor. To maintain the stability of such a Church, no exertion should be spared;
and the bulk of the nation have no sympathy with the iconoclasts who assail her
with sacrilegious hands. She will retain her hold over the hearts of the people so
long as she is adequate to the fulfilment of her office.”

You admire both the sentiments and the language. So do we. But
whence come they? Not, of course, from the Record, for no
uncharitable taunt is in them, besides, the phrases will bear parsing.
Nor are they from the Defender of the Eaith, our friend the Standard.
They are from the Daily Telegraph, an ultra-Liberal organ. Who, in
his senses, will say that men have not become more thoughtful and
tolerant than their fathers ? Would a radical writer have dared to say
this to radical readers twenty-five years ago ? And you owe the change
to the teaching of the Eirst Gentleman of the Universe, Mr. Punch.
He is not changed—his soul is like a star and dwells apart—but you
all are, and you know it. Let us liquor.

In the evening the Lord Mayor feasted the Ministers. Let us say
for Lord Phillips that he has not only done all the hospitalities of
his office splendidly, but has also done them gracefully, and with such
oratory as is too seldom heard from the Fathers of the City. This is
not the gratitude which is defined as a lively sense of future favours,
as, in the first place, it is a favour on Mr. Punch’s part to dine with
anybody, and, m the second, he accepts no more invitations this season.
The Ministers spoke well, having nothing to say. and the Mayor
quoted Lord Derby’s Homer to his Lordship, which was a neat
compliment.

Thursday. Sir Stafford Northcote, the Board of Trade, was
asked whether anything would be done by Government in case the
creditors of the London, Chatham, and Dover Railway should come
down on the lines and shut out the public. Sir Stafford did not
thick there was any danger. Nor can Punch imagine that even
creditors would be such asses. But really, if a Company is to have
enormous powers, destroy whole suburbs, and. get people into a habit
of using certain conveyances, protection against creditors. should be
granted, not for the sake of the speculators, but of the public. Fancy
the shock to a Swell, hastily handing his shiny bag to supposed guard,
and telling him to put it into a carriage and lock the door, as he
wanted to smoke, and then, in return for his half-crown, (accepted,
of course) hearing from a Sheriff’s Officer the words, “ Can’t do no
locking up here, Sir, but if you ’ll step up to Cursitor Street, I can
oblige.” .

Mr. Mill presented a petition complaining of the closing ol the
Park Gates against the Reform Meeting, and condemning the conduct
of the Police. The charges are perfectly distinct, and we regret to
see them amalgamated, as Mr. Punch has taken great pains to illustrate
the difference between the Artisans and the. Roughs. The complaint
of the former is on a question of law, that of the latter—we are happy
to say a well-founded one,'—is that their ruffianism received an instal-
ment of the punishment it deserved. .

Government asked for leave to continue the Suspension ol the
Habeas Corpus Act in Ireland, and it was of course granted. Mr,
Maguire, Mr. O’Beirne, and Mr. Bernal Osborne made very good
speeches, however, and in so far as they affirmed that reform m
the Hibernian land-system was needed, Mr. Punch is heartily with
them. But we can liave no mob-law, on either side the Irish Sea.
Much Fenian ammunition was seized at “ Limerick Prodigious, on
the very day of the debate.

Friday. In the Lords there was a little wrangle between Lords
Russell and Derby about the state of Hyde Park. The public is
concerned only with the facts that there is an idea of introducing police