DOI Heft:
October 20, 1866
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16878#0167
October 20, 1866. | PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 159
ON THE MOORS. CONSIDERATE-VERY!
Laura. “ Oh, Charles, do run to Kitty ! She daren’t come on, and her Pony is carrying all the best of the Luncheon ! ”
OUR SOCIAL CHURCH SCIENCE CONGRESS.
(From Our Colwell-Hatchney Correspondent.)
I ’ve been quiet, haven’t I, for a long time. But what of that ? Is
it because a Briton must never be a slave that therefore he is to submit
to tyranny ? Never ! Our Christmas holidays are put off until Mid-
summer, and we, the students of Colwell-Hatchney, have complained
in consequence. There was a grand demonstration which no one was
able to attend, for reasons which are easier described than imagined.
But we have had a Social Church Congress. All shades of opinion
were represented, including sun-shades, lamp-shades, and Pepper’s
Ghost.
To prevent any unseemly squabbling, it was provided that there
should be no argument above a whisper, unless enforced at the point
of the bayonet. Playing on the flute was strictly prohibited. Peri-
winkles admitted half price : No shrimps, except by voucher. Evening
dress at first: afterwards Harlequin. Villains of the deepest dye can
only be admitted under ten years of age free.
On the evening of the eleventh ultimo, which followed, as you may
remember, the sixty-first proximo [quartered in Ireland for the time
being,] the Congress was held as tightly as possible in the Dormitory,
after the lights were put out. Thousands were unable to gain admit-
tance. In spite of the crowded state of the place, a proposal was made
to open the ceiling, and let in a few of our weaker brethren in the room
above. This was negatived by five, armed with fire-shovels, to one, with-
out. They then shook hands, and got to their corners.
The Meeting was divided into Sections. One Section that liked it,
and one that didn’t. Another Section that hated it whatever it was,
and another that only knew it to love it. They all wreathed the bowl
with smiles. The extreme Ritualist party, who were scarcely to be
detected from the Anti-rittles in the dark, wore nightgowns and caps,
according to their degrees. One wore a splendid robe of 60 degrees in
the shade. At 8'30 the clock struck nine, and all was delirious joy.
On the first cessation of hostilities, several members wanted to adjourn
to the infirmary. (Cries of “ Yah ! ” “ Coward ! ” “Sneak ! ”)
A gentleman calling himself the Bishop of Hippopotamus asked the
first question, “Do you bruise your oats?” (Ones of “Shut up!"
“Brute!” “ You’re Another !” and so forth!)
An Apology was then read from an Oratorio who was to have en-
livened the proceedings. In his absence the Hailstone Chorus was
performed by all the students. Every available instrument was used.
The effect was electrical: in fact, the Principal of the College came in
and owned that he was shocked. (Meeting adjourned until he’d gone!)
On re-meeting, a representative of the Irish Church asked any one to
tread on the tail of his night-gown. Here shillelaghs were introduced,
and ten minutes were allowed for refreshment. Time called. Hunt
the slipper and other amusements served to pass awav another hour
or so, and when Aurora with her snowy streaks brought happiness to
the fair maiden who dwells on the tower (admission fee to warder
sixpence), then, and not till then, did the party separate, throwing
boots ana shoes at each other’s heads for good luck. The good luck
was, not to get much hurt. The casualties are still unreported; but
all acknowledged that they had spent a rational and truly instructive
evening.
THE WAY TO WOMANHOOD SUFFRAGE.
The cause of Womanhood Suffrage was ably pleaded by Madame
Barbara Bodichon, at the Social Science Congress, and Madame
Bodichon was gallantly followed on the same line by Dr. Mary
Walker. It may safely be said that if every man is fit to vote, so is
every woman; on conditions. These, of course, are, that if women
are to exercise political functions, like men, they must accept all the
obligations of the sterner sex. For instance, the right of voting would
give women a voice in the organisation of the army. This ought not
to exist apart from liability to be drawn for the Militia, or to become
subject to conscription, if that method of recruiting should come to be
adopted in this country. The ladies who sigh for the suffrage should
lose no time in enrolling themselves in regiments of Amazonian volun-
teers to signify that whilst they demand the rights, they are ready to
accept the duties of citizenship.
ON THE MOORS. CONSIDERATE-VERY!
Laura. “ Oh, Charles, do run to Kitty ! She daren’t come on, and her Pony is carrying all the best of the Luncheon ! ”
OUR SOCIAL CHURCH SCIENCE CONGRESS.
(From Our Colwell-Hatchney Correspondent.)
I ’ve been quiet, haven’t I, for a long time. But what of that ? Is
it because a Briton must never be a slave that therefore he is to submit
to tyranny ? Never ! Our Christmas holidays are put off until Mid-
summer, and we, the students of Colwell-Hatchney, have complained
in consequence. There was a grand demonstration which no one was
able to attend, for reasons which are easier described than imagined.
But we have had a Social Church Congress. All shades of opinion
were represented, including sun-shades, lamp-shades, and Pepper’s
Ghost.
To prevent any unseemly squabbling, it was provided that there
should be no argument above a whisper, unless enforced at the point
of the bayonet. Playing on the flute was strictly prohibited. Peri-
winkles admitted half price : No shrimps, except by voucher. Evening
dress at first: afterwards Harlequin. Villains of the deepest dye can
only be admitted under ten years of age free.
On the evening of the eleventh ultimo, which followed, as you may
remember, the sixty-first proximo [quartered in Ireland for the time
being,] the Congress was held as tightly as possible in the Dormitory,
after the lights were put out. Thousands were unable to gain admit-
tance. In spite of the crowded state of the place, a proposal was made
to open the ceiling, and let in a few of our weaker brethren in the room
above. This was negatived by five, armed with fire-shovels, to one, with-
out. They then shook hands, and got to their corners.
The Meeting was divided into Sections. One Section that liked it,
and one that didn’t. Another Section that hated it whatever it was,
and another that only knew it to love it. They all wreathed the bowl
with smiles. The extreme Ritualist party, who were scarcely to be
detected from the Anti-rittles in the dark, wore nightgowns and caps,
according to their degrees. One wore a splendid robe of 60 degrees in
the shade. At 8'30 the clock struck nine, and all was delirious joy.
On the first cessation of hostilities, several members wanted to adjourn
to the infirmary. (Cries of “ Yah ! ” “ Coward ! ” “Sneak ! ”)
A gentleman calling himself the Bishop of Hippopotamus asked the
first question, “Do you bruise your oats?” (Ones of “Shut up!"
“Brute!” “ You’re Another !” and so forth!)
An Apology was then read from an Oratorio who was to have en-
livened the proceedings. In his absence the Hailstone Chorus was
performed by all the students. Every available instrument was used.
The effect was electrical: in fact, the Principal of the College came in
and owned that he was shocked. (Meeting adjourned until he’d gone!)
On re-meeting, a representative of the Irish Church asked any one to
tread on the tail of his night-gown. Here shillelaghs were introduced,
and ten minutes were allowed for refreshment. Time called. Hunt
the slipper and other amusements served to pass awav another hour
or so, and when Aurora with her snowy streaks brought happiness to
the fair maiden who dwells on the tower (admission fee to warder
sixpence), then, and not till then, did the party separate, throwing
boots ana shoes at each other’s heads for good luck. The good luck
was, not to get much hurt. The casualties are still unreported; but
all acknowledged that they had spent a rational and truly instructive
evening.
THE WAY TO WOMANHOOD SUFFRAGE.
The cause of Womanhood Suffrage was ably pleaded by Madame
Barbara Bodichon, at the Social Science Congress, and Madame
Bodichon was gallantly followed on the same line by Dr. Mary
Walker. It may safely be said that if every man is fit to vote, so is
every woman; on conditions. These, of course, are, that if women
are to exercise political functions, like men, they must accept all the
obligations of the sterner sex. For instance, the right of voting would
give women a voice in the organisation of the army. This ought not
to exist apart from liability to be drawn for the Militia, or to become
subject to conscription, if that method of recruiting should come to be
adopted in this country. The ladies who sigh for the suffrage should
lose no time in enrolling themselves in regiments of Amazonian volun-
teers to signify that whilst they demand the rights, they are ready to
accept the duties of citizenship.