Punch (62.1872)

June 22, 1872.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

259

A CELEBRITY AT SOUTHAMPTON.

uthampton, a few years ago,
was pronounced by an authority
on the subject of Progress to be
''the most go-ahead Town in
the South of England." It has
always been considered one of
the principal seats of intelli-
gence and morality. There are
many among its inhabitants who
know how to do honour to those
qualities personified. In num-
ber perhaps they considerably
exceed three thousand; but
anyhow the following paragraph
appeared the other morning in
the Post:—

"The Claimant to the Tich-
borne Estates.—About three thou-
sand persons assembled in the
Church Congress Hall, Southamp-
ton, last night, to meet the 'Claim-
ant.' Mr. Alderman Tucker pre-
sided, and Mr. Whai.ley, M.P.,
spoke in defence of the principal
character in the performance."

The Statue of Dr. "Watts in
the Southampton Park, erected
—— /f (A by the Southampton people to
their celebrated fellow-towns-
man, is not only a monument of that Divine and Poet, but also of
their respect and reverence for worth, piety, and learning.

How many of them are now willing to subscribe for the erection
of another memorial in honour of the person referred to in the fore-
going extract ? If not more than three thousand, yet, if no less,
that would be a considerable number. Can they sing ? Then they
might form a pretty powerful chorus. Suppose they erect that
other statue, say by the side of the first; they could unite, on the
occasion of its "inauguration," in singing one of the celebrated
" Divine and Moral Songs " composed by the prior statue's original;
that one commencing with the noteworthy lines :—

0 'tis a pleasant thing for youth
To walk betimes in wisdom's way—

To fear a lie, to speak the truth,
That we may trust to all they say.'

AGE NO OBJECTION.

Ok Tuesday last week, at the Central Criminal Court, Henry
Seymour, a white-haired old rogue of seventy-five, was convicted
of bigamy, and sentenced to seven years' penal servitude. He had
married, first in 1861, and secondly, his wife still living, in 1869, at
a time when he was two years past seventy. His victim was a
respectable "young woman of prepossessing appearance." Why
should any man, at any time of life, inclined to matrimony, be
deterred from attempting it by the apprehension of being in the
ease expressed by Dryden ?—

"Old as I am, for ladies' love unfit—"

There is, evidently, no age at which he who wants a wife need
despair of one, however close his foot may be to the grave's brink.
There is a chance for him, let him be as old as Old Pake. While
there is life, there is hope for the aged noodle.

COURTS CLERICAL AND COURTS MARTIAL.

How hard is calling o'er the coals
A Parson charged with cure of souls,
Although for heresy outright
To curing souls deemed opposite.
Ecclesiastic law's delay

How long ! What sums, meanwhile, to pay !

E'en if your charge is proved at last

How futile is the sentence passed !

But when the Captain of a ship,

Though in mere judgment, makes a slip

His ship which doth in peril place,

0 then how different is the case !

How soon is a Court-Martial called!

How quickly he is overhauled !

And reprimanded, or cashiered,

Erroneously for having steered.

So much more serious, to be sure,

Of ships, than souls, is held the cure,

And ships aground on rocks or shoals

Of moment more than stranded souls.

CURATES' AUGMENTATION.

The adjourned general meeting of the friends and supporters of
the Curates' Augmentation Fund was held yesterday at the offices
Those three thousand admirers of wisdom and veracity, of whom \ 0f that institution in Henrietta Street, Covent Garden, under the
Southampton must be proud, of course not only trusted to all that presidency of the Earl of Harrowby, to consider a resolution
was said by Mr. Whalley, who represented wisdom, " in defence of i limiting the qualification of Curates for being augmented to Curates
the principal character in the performance " at which be assisted, whose annual incomes from all sources do not exceed £300 a year,
but likewise to all that was said and sworn by that " character," ; This seems a very fair proposal; for with £300 a year a Curate has

the representative of veracity.

surely no need to be slender. Yet we do see Curates going about in
M.B. waistcoats much too strait for sane Churchmen. They are
evidently in great want of augmentation, but therein those herring-
tftp pppqppvprq np Tjnprw pnppcT waisted Clergymen should minister to themselves. Let them leave

PRESERVERS Oh EPPING 1OREST. off apish asceticism, eat and drink as much as they ought to, and.

The Corporation of London, the House of Lords, the House of thence deriving a reasonable augmentation, show forth the fruits of
Commons, the Government, and the Public, are each and all to be good living.

congratulated on the agreeable intelligence announced on Wednes- " -

day last week in the following newspaper paragraph :— _ . , ^ ,

Invincible Imbecility.

" Epping Forest Bill.—This Bill, introduced by the Government for

the purpose chiefly of staying the Chancery proceedings of the Corporation of Perhaps the Judicial Committee of the Privy Council judged

London in reference to the Commoners' rights upon the Forest, was before the rightly in declining to condemn the Rev. Me. Bennett for the use

Select.Committee of the House of Lords yesterday morning, and after hearing of language which could not be said to contradict any one of the

counsel on behalf of the Office of Works and on behalf of the Corporation, the Thirty-nine Articles, simply because it was unintelligible. It is,

Committee decided that the Bill should be amended so that the Corporation however, to be wished that the Archbishop of Canterbury and

Chancery proceedings should not be stayed by the Act. This is a virtual M colleagues had shown the Romanesque Ritualists that they woutf
triumph tor the Corporation and the public m this important matter.

Let us congratulate the generous Corporation of London on the
triumph which it has gained over encroaching Lords of the Manor,
and their allies in the Ministry and the lower, every way lower,
House of Parliament. Congratulate we the upper House on having
frustrated the designs of sordid Interests commanding a majority of
votes in the lower. That lower House be congratulated on the
frustration of those designs whose success would have yet deeper
lowered it. May it please the Government to accept our congratu-
lations on having been stopped from incurring additional un-
popularity by forcing through the Legislature a measure inspired
by the mean and grovelling policy of subordinating every other
national consideration whatsoever to the sole object of gain or saving
of which nobody experiences any sensible benefit. Let us, lastly,
congratulate the Public on the sustained prospect of the preserva-
tion of the remainder of Epping Forest and on the happiness of
having a Corporation of London and a House of Lords. Hooray!

stand no nonsense.

Paeans of Sham Priests.

" A triumph," the Ritualists shouting are heard,
"The late Privy Council's decision has been."

It leaves them free, truly, to say what's absurd,
But doesn't allow them to say what they mean.

Seasonable Literature.

We notice a new book, called In Quest of Coolies. Some days
that have come in (will the series last?) suggest that a pleasant
little sequel might be published, for the use of thirsty people,
under the attractive name In Quest of Coolers.