Punch (71.1876)

28 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [July 22, 1876.

THE VOICE OF THE CHARMER.

Our Suburban Tenor is threatened with a Relaxed Throat, and meets with much Sympathy from the Sex he is wont
to enthral. The Bass and the Baritone look ox with mixed Feelings. Their Throats never get relaxed (fortunately ;
for if they did, they would have to look after themselves).

CAPTAIN AND CHAPLAIN.

{See Debate on Mr. E. Ashley's Motion, July 12th.)

D'ye mind me, a sailor should be, every inch,

All as one as a piece of his ship,
And with her brave the world, without offering to flinch,

From the moment the anchor's a-trip."
So chaunted Charles Dibdin, Tyrtams of old,

To England's invincible Navy,
When ship's bread crawled with weevils, and flowered in blue
mould,

And Mids ate their junk without gravy.
When at evens or odds Johnny crapaud.as oft

Was licked as he dared cross our track ;
When Nelson made heroes, and glory aloft

For hard lines below paid poor Jack.

Then our beautiful craft on their white canvas wings

Like frigate-birds skimmed the wide ocean ;
None would dream there was harm in the exquisite things,

Fair at rest and still fairer in motion.
Till out spoke their broadsides, and laid gun to gun,

Locked yard-arm to yard-arm, they'd show
British tars could do aught British tars e'er had done,

And would sink e'er they struck to a foe.
Our iron-clads now all that beauty have doffed,

And like tea-kettles smoke, big and black ;
No clean lines a-low, and no white sails aloft,

To ravish the eyes of Poor Jack !

Still Jack sticks to his Captain, and still says his prayers—
As men will, in short heave of Death's grapplin ;

Though little for High Church and Low Church he cares,
High or Low Church, a Chaplain's a Chaplain.

As a Captain his ship has to sail and to fight,
So a Chaplain's to preach and to pray ;

But when Captain and Chaplain get thwart hawse outright,

Poor Jack doesn't know what to say.
Whether Chaplain's been cheeky, or Captain has scoffed,

Either way the ship's taken aback ;
" Small good then the chaunting, a-low or aloft—

Not a Pennyworth ! " grumbles poor Jack.

" To rancour unknown, to no passion a slave,

Nor unmanly, nor mean, nor a railer,
He's gentle as mercy, as fortitude brave—■

And this is a true English sailor."
So sang Dibdin, and bard against chaplain, his strain

Might well teach the man-of-war parson,
That to set Roman candles ablaze on the main,

Is sheer theological arson.
When Captain and Chaplain at loggerheads oft

O'er the book at each other look black,
A Penny a-low ain't a farthing aloft

In walley received by Poor Jack.

Magnificent!

Tmslxom the Guardian':—

ASITUATION Wanted by a Nottingham Man ; Age, Twenty-six ;
Height, 5 ft. 10 ins. Objects to cleaning lady's maid's boots. High
Church Family preferred. First footman five years. Address, &c.

What a chance for anyone, wanting a man who really knows'his
place!

a question answered.

Punch lately asked who "among all the quotations in all,"the
Money Market and City Articles, ever met with a line of verse."
Several Cockney Correspondents have written to say, that bad as
the state of the Money Market has been lately, they expact to see
the quotations " vorse " yet.