Punch (71.1876)

January 6, 1877.]

PUNCH'S TWELFTH-NIGHT PARTING WITH OLD
FATHER CHRISTMAS,

Such weather as this year you've had to know—

This weary water-waste—this gloomy mist-mass—
This dreary end in slush of would-be snow—
So dull for Father Christmas !

ld friend, fare-
well ! Your
list! You'll
call again P
Punch and
the world are
always glad
to see you.
"We welcome
much that
^follows in

your'train,
=: Yet/there are
| some few
things from
which we'd
free you—

Development's the universal law,

Not e'en so old a hand as you may shirk it.

Now, do not snap, or snatch away your paw:
Punch's is friendly counsel; pray, don't burke
it!

The good old times! What sermons one may read
On that old text!—and some of them right,true
ones.

But, after all, the good old times should lead,
Methinks, to better new ones.

Merry ? Well, Mr. Punch should be the last
To say one word against judicious merriment.

But'may we not improve upon the past,
Even in that regard ? 'Tig worth experiment.

The loud " gros rire de Rabelais," after all,
Is scarce the very highest kind of laughter,

Grins and Gargantuan gormandising pall;

And, query—what comes after ?

Good cheer ? Well, cakes and ale are right good
things,

So are mince-pies, sirloins, and chines, — in
measure.

Plum-pudding, too,—such memories it brings
As make dyspepsia's self seem half a pleasure.

But this elaborate gushing over grub,
To which your Laureates are addicted, rather,

Rather more savours of the stye or tub,

Than fits you, reverend Father.

Genial ? Why, bless your blooming face, of course!

But genuine sentiment scarce comes in gushes ;
And when mere stomach-comfort is its source,

It ought to raise not so much cheers as blushes.
The laugh, the joke, the kiss 'neath misletoes,

Punch would not brand as sins however venial,
But, pray, without that big Bardolphian nose,
Were you, in truth, less genial ?

I see you twig. We are too ancient friends
For you to take the huff at hints like mine,
meant

To show your annual advent's happiest ends
May well consort with temperance and refine-
ment.

Whilst cherishing traditions of old times,
'Tis well to lift them to a higher level.
The fit accompaniments of Christmas chimes
Are Peace and Joy—not Bevel!

The French Chamber has been on fire. The
Deputies were put out, of course.

t) a tidx1!? Q a at~n T>cw T?t\TTnc! 11 Mr. Z. D. Berry objected to these books, as he considered it the introdue-

rAUrliiixo AINU lULLiMlUo. tion of the thin end of the wedge—SirKutherford Alcock. pointed out that

m jo p ,1 T,r i.i , ■■ P while more hymn-books were required the ones obtained were different from

Ihe inmates of most ot the Metropolitan workhouses fared upon the rest. Ultimately, the guardians were understood to decide that the original
roast beef and plum-pudding as sumptuously as usual on Christmas book should be substituted for Hymns Ancient and Modern."
Day, thanks to the care of Poor Law Guardians for the material

nutriment of the poor. Their solicitude is, perhaps, too generally ! Of so much moment is it what hymns the paupers of Little Chelsea
limited to that object; but there is a case in which it evidently aims sing ! Little Chelsea seems to be a place of strong polemical feeling,
higher. The spiritual sustenance also of paupers is looked to by Me. Z. D. Beeey fears that Mymns Ancient and Modern, which,
at least one Board of Guardians. So it appears from a statement in point of doctrine, are understood to be not strictly parochial, will
in a contemporary, showing that in one case at least such devotional introduce into the workhouse of that great little place " the thin end
luxuries have actually been introduced, as :— of the wedge," of which the thick end is Popery. Let all sound Pro-

« Hymns in WoRKHOusEs.-At the last meeting of the St. George's, ^tants rl°ic+e *° kn0W ^at the Guardians of Little Chelsea, by
Hanover Square, Board of Guardians, Mr. Fleming called upon the Little ; deciding that Beady and Tate, or De. watts restored, shall
Chelsea Workhouse Visiting Committee to explain why copies of Swn»» r®PlaCfl tnose objectionable Hymns Ancient and Modern, have
Ancient and Modern, had been ordered in substitution for those previously in effectually defeated an insidious endeavour to undermine the work-
use in. the house." i house of Little Chelsea by sapping the principles on which it is

Singing in.a workhonse chapel, is hardly ^neeivaHe as a J-J^^£&£gS*&J** «* " «"*

''merry noise," which the congregation, one would think, can have
little heart for. But old-fashioned Psalm-singing was doleful
enough, even for a workhouse. Hymns Ancient and, Modern,
probably superseded Beady and Tate, the tunes also being
changed for the merrier. Me. Fleming seems to have thought these
Hymns unmeet for the workhouse, as being too High spiritual diet-
he, perhaps, voting for Low diet both carnal and spiritual. But :—

all smoee.

A Beblln telegram announces that Geneeal Nieitine has left
Wilna for Servia, to inspect the Army. " Mke " means " Victory,"
"Colonel Haygarth observed that these hymn-books were in use *ut "Nicotine" is a deadly narcotic poison, which paralyses the
throughout the army. He declined to express any opinion asUnese hymn! I strength and even stops the springs of life. Which omen of the
books, which were obtained as recommended by the Chaplain." name will prevail r _i__

Hymns suitable for soldiers may be imagined to be not inappro-
priate, at any rate on controversial grounds, for paupers. But the n0 sign 0f eecoveet.

orthodoxy of the workhouse is apparently of an importance beyond Optimists may hope that affairs in Turkey are assuming a healthier

that of the barracks :— aspect. But did a Sick Man ever develope a new Constitution !

vol. lxxi.

e e