Punch (71.1876)

December 2, 1876.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CFiARI VA.RI. 235

"if you will not when you may/' &c.

Parson. " How is it, Sokubb, that your comely Daughters ark still

Single ! ?"

Rustic. " Well, Sir, you see there wor a Time when they would a
ha' they, but they would'n' ha' the v. Noo they would ha' they, but

they woo'n't ha' 1 hey ! ! "

TRUE, OR UNTRUE ?

[See the Story told at the Inquest on Emma Black, who died
of fright, caused, according to her own statement, and that of
several of her little fellow-scholars, by her being shut in a dark
closet at a Board School in Lambeth.]

The little Blacks in olden days

Were pitied by the nation,
Kind hearts were busy finding.'ways

To send them consolation.

To save small niggers from the dark
Of slavish fear that bound them,

And kindle in their minds a spark
From Freedom's light around them.

Yet yesterday a little Black,—

At school in this great City,—
Shivered from life to death, for laok

Of human heliJ and pity.

Shut in the darkness lone and drear,

The tiny, trembling lisper
Froze in the icy grasp of Fear—

This is the tale they whisper !

The story makes one catch one's 1 r juth:

A babe, for baby errors
Dune so remorselessly to death,

In childhood's darkling temrs!

Thank God, a doubt the crime hangs o'er ;

Those who should know foreswore it;
Though little ones their witness bore,

And trembled while they bore it.

How Emma Black came by the fear
That gave her to death's dolours,

The Jury found no witness clear
From her small fellow scholars.

But truth is truth, from great or small:
A School-Board s bound to trace it.

When Black deaths from dark closets call,
A doubt left should disgrace it!

attractions for the week.

At the Aquarium—the Alligator.

At the Alexandra Palace—the Liquidator.

COMPANY MANNERS.

Dear Mr. Punch,

The consequences to wives and families, as well as to
husbands themselves, of the latter becoming Directors of bogus
Companies are so terrible, that it would only be right that women
should be able to obtain an immediate divorce on their husbands'
names appearing on a prospectus. I have only lately rescued my
lord and master from the jaws of the City lions, and "his symptoms
were so remarkable before forming his " Company," that I think it
misrht serve as a guide to other wives to detail them :—

First. Although it had been difficult (we being independent) to
get him out of the house for a few hours together, he suddenly
began to absent himself for the entire day, his account being that
he had met Thompson, and been with him to "the City."

Secondly. Though previously careless in his dress, he suddenly
became most particular about the polish of his boots and the brush-
ing of his hat.

Thirdly. GeneraUy returned late for dinner, and smelt strongly
of sherry and cigars.

_ Fourthly. Brought other gentlemen, also smelling of sherry and
cigars, home occasionally.

Fifthly. Sat late over the wine on these last occasions, and left
early next morning for "the City:" Carried mysterious printed
documents in his pocket. Was restless at night.

Sixthly. Drew one or two large cheques, with only initials on the
counterfoil.

Seventhly. Cave a "little" dinner in "the City," costing forty
pounds odd.

Lastly. Came home rather excited one evening, telling me he had
a little surprise for me, that it was " all right! " Thompson had
consented to take ten thousand pounds for his patent, the " Com-
pany was formed, and he, my husband, was oh the direction !

lo-all this I need scarcely add that he required £1000 at once ; but

as my consent and signature were necessary, I sternly withheld
them, and his name no longer figured on the prospectus. The Com-
pany, however, was formed without him. Thompson got a great
part of his ten thousand for his patent, for something about as
valuable as the process of making a pair of boots into a pair of shoes
by cutting off their tops, and the Company is in liquidation.
Criminal proceedings have been threatened, Mr. Thompson has
disappeared, and my " little man " no longer visits the City, except
with myself, to draw our dividends from the Bank of England.
I am, dear Mr. Punch, yours sincerely,
Consol Cottage, Nov. 25th, 1876. Gertrude Graymair.

THE REMOVAL OF A NUISANCE.

A Sfecial Meeting of the European Commission of the Danube
is to take place almost immediately, to decide on the means of
removing the obstruction caused to the navigation by the ship
Turkish Empire, which came to grief on the banks of that river
some time ago.

We understand an i ffer has already been made by the eminent
English shipbuilders, Messrs. Beaconsfield & Co., who propose
to raise, repair, re-fasten, and re-metal the ship (the whole to be
done by piecework), so as to enable her to be re-classed for a
further period of years. On the other hand, an equally well-
known firm of Russian engineers maintain that the ship is no
longer in a fit condition to be sent to sea, her timbers being com-
pletely rotten, and insist that she should be broken up, they doing
the work (by means of blasting powder), and being allowed to retain
part of the old materials as their remuneration.

The European Commission do not bind themselves to accept the
lowest or any tender. _

Our Best Coast-Guard.—" The inviolate Sea."

vol. lxx:

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