Punch (71.1876)

October 14, 1876.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 155

SUPERFLUOUS.

Free and Easy Host. "Now, my Boy, would you like to Wash your
Hands and Brisk your Hair before Dinner?!"

["£0 likely, y'know," as Tomkins said, ivho had just been Polishing and
Titivating for Two Hours before his own Dressing'-Glass I!

DRAMAS OF THE DAY.

How fast appear, with thrilling interest rife,

Sensation dramas on the Stage of Life,

As though by Nature's management designed

But to divert the British Public's mind!—

Those monster trials, and those acts of crime,

Which Fate produces still from time to time.

Each in succession has a lengthened run,

Succeeded shortly by another one ;

And each effacing, in its scream and roar,

The memory of the pieces played before.

How long the " Claimant's " Farce in two Acts ran!

That o'er, a tragic series began.

First the " Whitechapel Tragedy " came out,

And kept the stage for half a year, about.

The " Balham Mystery " was next the rage ;

When that had ceased the Nation to engage,

The curtain rose upon the worst of works—

" Bulgarian Horrors," as performed by Turks ;

Whence wild excitement being scarce allayed,

Behold, pulled up at Bow Street, " Dr." Slade,

Charged 'gainst the Vagrant Act with having sinned,

By raising spirits, so to raise the wind.

But yet the new performance brings relief
To scenes of violence, and rage, and grief.
For we to comic incident recur,
When tragic scenes too deep the passions stir.
Meanwhile whoso has, or has not, been done,
May European War ne'er spoil our fun.

BEST AND NEXT BEST GOVERNMENT.

According to a newspaper report, a discourse was delivered the
other Sunday at the Kensington Pro-Cathedral by Cardinal Man-
ning on " The Progress of Christendom." By the account of His
Eminence Christendom appears to be making immense progress, in
the ironical sense of that word. The progress of Christendom is the
progress of a crab. Such, however, it has been for a considerable
and indefinite time. The Cardinal said that—

" In many countries Christendom was disintegrated and dismembered, and
in them there was no longer that Catholic unity which kept the Christian
peoples of Europe together, because Kings and Princes had chosen to serve the
world and themselves rather than Catholic unity."

_ Since when, your Eminence ? At what date, and for how long,
since the "Roman Peace," were the Kings and Princes of Christen-
dom, and the Christian peoples of Europe, kept together by Catholic
unity ? When, and during what while, did they choose to serve
Catholic unity rather than themselves and the world, and to refrain
from cutting one another's throats ? What Roman Peace was ever
enforced by the Rome of Catholic unity ? Perhaps your Eminence
will,_ some fine Sunday — or week-day — take an opportunity of
naming it.

The disintegration of Christendom is the mischief which has bur-
dened the world with bloated armaments. So, at least, in effect
avers our Cardinal.

" What was the result of this disintegration ? That there was not a strong
Government on the face of the earth unless it was surrounded by armed men.
Where could they find a Government strong in moral right and moral power ?
Perhaps it was to be best found in the four seas of Britain—more genuinely,
at least, than in any other place."

_ There is, of course, one other place, in which a Government, strong
m moral right and moral power, once existed. There it existed at
the time when all Christendom was kept together, innocent of war
and bloodshed, at peace by Catholic unity. It continued to exist

A New Synonym.

Prince Orioef, the Russian Ambassador, atr the
dinner given at the Russian Embassy last Thursday
night, proposed a toast to the Prosperity of France, in
which he dwelt on the efforts that Russia "has made,
is now making, and will continue to_ make, for the
maintenance of European peace." I said to my si?n B01;,
a promising lad, in the middle fifth at Eton, "That's
neat. You can't put that into Latin." " Can't I ? " said
he. " Russitudinem faciunt—pacem appellant."

Recommended to the London Stereoscopic Society
(as a sure Sell which must make its mark).— The Slade-
Pencil.

there, with temporary interruptions, from that time, whenever that
time was, until a few years ago, till, finally, the year 1870.^ It was
genuinely strong absolutely, not merely so comparatively, in moral
right ana power. Its moral right was that of Infallibility, and its
moral power was the basis of its Temporal Power. Strong in moral
power, it did not require for its maintenance to be surrounded by
armed men ; as indeed we all know that it never was, particularly
not by French troops, during the interval between the overthrow of
the Roman Republic and the establishment of the Italian Monarchy.
Nobody can need to be told that the seat of that Government,
which Cardinal Manning alleges to have been the model Govern-
ment of Christendom, was Papal Rome, whilst Rome remained the
city of the Sovereign Pontiff, and before it relapsed into the Capital
of Italy. But now Rome, as the Rome of Pontifical and Model
Government, is Rome no more. In the meantime the next best
thing to that Government altogether and entirely strong in moral
right and moral power—the best substitute, as times go, for the
Government of Catholic Unity—is the Constitutional Government of
the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland. The best
Government on Earth that ever was, of course, was the Papal; but
the second-best is the British. If Cardinal Manning is a Papalmo
first, he is an Englishman afterwards.

Brains v. Muscles.

Look on this picture, and on that:
(Both from the Tablet.)

ALADY wishes to recommend, as UPPER HOUSEMAID, a tho-
roughly trustworthy person, who has acted in that capacity six years.
Has also been left in responsible charge of a house during the absence of the
family. Age Thirty. Wages £25. Town preferred.

GOVERNESS WANTED, for the Highlands of Scotland, to teach
English, French, Music, and Needlework. None need apply who have
not had some years' experience in teaching. Salary £20.

vol. lxxi.

Q