Punch (71.1876)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [August 5, 1876.

ODOR RITUALISTICUS.

Extra-Protestant Parishioner (to his Vicar). " I 'ye long been of Opinion that 'cause teotj dtt'stn't burn Incense, yeou got them

Paraffin Lamps 'stead o' Candles, so as to hev some Smell in the Chtj'ch !!! "

IN THE SHADE.

An Optimistic View of the Great Heat Question.
" Circumstances alter cases."—Old Saw.

Horribly hot ? Ah ! no doubt—in the City ;

Phoebus is there an ignipotent foe,
Sunshine a thing to be shunned—more's the pity :

Here we exult in SoPs aureate glow.
There the still-rising thermometers terrify;

What need we care, in this verdurous glade,
Though ours may mark—as a glance, dear, will verify—
Ninety degrees in the shade ?

Summer at last! Sure a seven years' waiting
Seems to have passed since we saw her full face.

How the leaves laugh at her ! Town-thralls are rating
Her too torrid glance in their verdureless place.

Here she smiles soft through a veil of glad greenery.
So, doff your hat, dear. Nay, bind not that braid.

Pleasant to gaze on yon sun-suffused scenery,—
Ninety degrees in the shade!

Cool is the plash of the river, and cooling
Each curve of your drapery. You have a lore,

Taught you by Nature, that needs not the schooling
In " colour" and "keeping" of Leighton or Moore.

In sober truth, though you mock it so merrily,
Scarce were Sabrina more aptly arrayed.

Gazing upon you I ask, is it, verily.

Ninety degrees in the shade ?

Town's modish slaves are debating the question

Whither to fly for laborious rest;
Here we 're at home with sweet Leisure—suggestion

Utterly strange to the tour-planner's breast!
Read ! You well know who my favourite poet is.

Idle Iambics! Eh ? Tired, I'm afraid f
Lay your head here. We can slumber, although it is
Ninety degrees in the shade !

HYGIENE IN HOT WEATHER.

A Miller, as is well known, wears his hat for the purpose of
keeping his head warm. What is applicable to the head is appli-
cable to the whole body from top to toe ; therefore, to keep the head
cool, a black hat is preferable, and for the body likewise a suit of
sable. Contrarily, therefore, to common practice, instead of wearing
light-coloured fabrics with the temperature at 80° in the shade, put
yourself into decent mourning.

Such being the fact that colds are sometimes caught in hot weather
through sitting in a draught, carefully close all doors and windows
both day and night.

Health chiefly suffers from excessive perspiration, which is very
" lowering," consequently strength requires to be kept up by repa-
ration of wasted tissue, particularly by eating and drinking as much
as possible of solid food and cordial and generous liquor, chops and
steaks, bottled stout, port wine, grog, punch, in addition to all the
lighter wines and other beverages commonly in use. Tripe-and-
onions and Irish stew are peculiarly wholesome; and a broiling
summer is really the right season for Christmas plum-pudding. It
is a mistake to suppose that the diet should consist principally of
fish, fruit, and vegetables, though if plenty of more nutritious food
be taken, the more of those other things you eat, too, the better.

After a full meal rest is indispensable ; indeed, as little exercise
should be taken as possible, for any attempt to move is felt to be
laborious, and the sense of developed energy and relief from
oppression developed, for example, by resolute perseverance _ in
walking, is fallacious. In India men commonly recline in a high
temperature, sipping brandy-pawnee with great benefit to their
livers, as is well known; and you cannot do better, if you have
nothing else to do, than sit still the greater part of the day between
your meals, or, at any rate, after dinner till supper-time, and after
that till bed-time, smoking cigars and drinking soda-water and
brandy. If you feel any sense of the sort of discomfort commonly
called " seediness," of a morning, you will find a glass of sherry-
and-bitters, or a little absinthe, or some other kind of innocent
" pick-me-up," quickly put you all to rights again without the least
detriment to your constitution.

Printed by Joseph Smith, of No. 30, Loraine Road, Holloway, in the Parish of St. Mary, Islington, in the County of Middlesex, at the Printing Offices of Messrs. Bradbury, Agnew, & Co.. Lombard
Street, in the Precinct of Whitefriars, in the City of London, and published by him at No, 85, Fleet Street, in the Parish of St. Bride, City of London.—Saturday, August 5, 1876.