Punch (71.1876)

92 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [September 2, 1876.

A DAMPER.

Boniface Brasenosc (an amiable but cestlictic youth, exhibiting his Art-treasures). " That 'a—a—a—Mother and Child, a—a—Fifteenth
Century-"

Fashionable Lady. "I should have thought it earlier!" Boniface, Brasenosc. "A—may I ask why?"

Fashionable Lady. *'. Oh, I should have thought they could Paint better than that, so late as the Fifteenth Century !"

AN EARL ON A WOODMAN.

Behold, how blest yon rural Swain!

He thrives on healthy toil.
Around his cot where smiles the plain

He tills paternal soil.
His bosom void of anxious care,

His heart from envy free,
Behind the plough his simple air

He whistles o'er the lea.

One while he guards the fleecy flock,

Or tends the lowing kine ;
Another, serves the stye's fat stock,

And feeds the squealing swine.
Now in his garden deftly plies

The mattock or the spade ;
Then quick to cutting timber hies

Along the forest glade.

When work and pastime both he lacks,

Some Tree which long hath stood,
He loves to fell with levelling axe,

Some Magnate of the "Wood.
Methinks in harmless type I view

A Statesman of renown,
"Whose humour, likewise, 'twas to hew

Old institutions down.

No coronet loads Lurin's brow;

No robes his gait restrain.
Light garb, light step, light heart hast thou,

0 far too happy Swain !
Alas, in pensive mood, whilst I

Compare thy lot with mine,
I can but heave a gentle sigh !—

But let me not repine.

A QUESTION OF CLEANLINESS.

" Clericus," in a letter to the Times, enumerating the particulars
of the " Cost of a Tour " economically managed by himself and a
couple of Ladies, sets down at a remarkably low figure the special
item of "washing." Commenting thereon, another Times corre-
spondent, " Rusticus," replies by asking for the details of their
washing bills, and offering suggestions which provoke from " Cle-
ricus" the somewhat angry rejoinder :—" We neither vegetated in
attics, nor washed our own linen, as is so elegantly insinuated."
Very possibly ; but then the question to be answered for the benefit
of people who want to know about tourists' washing bills, is how
much of their linen had '' Clericus " and his fair companions
washed by anybody *? If they did not do their own washing abroad,
perhaps neither are they themselves accustomed to wash their dirty
linen at home. In that case, what quantity of it is usuaUy washed
at all ? And as to washing whilst upon their peregrination, the infor-
mation required is, how far did the travellers go without ?

POTATOES IN PERIL!

"A Recent Traveller" from Canada reports that the Potato
Beetle weathers the winter there, and does great mischief. Atten-
tion is due to his reminder and warning that—

" American potatoes are now largely imported, and, as this pest yearly
travels nearer the sea coast, we are certain to import the eggs, or the impreg-
nated females, and, once established, we shall never get rid of them."

However, he thinks that, with due precaution, it may be possible
"to postpone the evil day." Importers of the American potato,
therefore, mind your (potato's) eye. A destroyer making potatoes as
dear as meat would be an agreeable companion to the foot-and-
mouth disease. The Rinderpest, indeed, was stamped out, but, by
aU accounts, there is no stamping out the Potato Beetle.