Punch (71.1876)

148 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [October 7, 1876.

AT THE SEA-SIDE.

Finding those Awful Swells, the Spiffington de Veres, bent on the same Exclusion as Himself and Family, Tomkins,
in a weak Moment, takes First Class Tickets too, "Just for the Look of the Thing, you know." Unfortunately that

dreadful little TOMMY tomkins shouts, " We 're going FlRST class ! "WE 'RE going FlRST CLASS ! " "while his SlSTERS clap

their Hands and madly jump for Joy.

MRS. GINGHAM ON CIVILISATION AND THE
COMING B—

" Entomology is a science which has grown pari passu with Civilisation
itself. . . The Colorado Potato-Bug, known to Naturalists as the Doryphora
decemlineata ... is travelling steadily eastward, and has already reached
the shores of the Atlantic. . . As far as can be made out, its rate of progress
is an average of much more than sixty miles a year. . . . It is likely that at
any moment a cargo of potatoes, or timber, or bacon, or ' notions,' may land
the enemy on our shores ... in which case there can be no doubt that a
potato-famine of the most dangerous kind would follow."—Daily Telegraph.

E-n-t-o-m-o-l-o-g-y P That's the stuff as my boy Sam is always
studying,

Poking his nose in ponds and things, and pinning beetles down in

boxes ;

A-coming home with boots as beats a Navvy's, steps and carpets
muddying,

And giving me the constant creeps, waried with suddent frights
and shockses.

More shame for "Civilisation," then, as did ought surely to know
better.

Insecks is horrors, all on 'em, and slaughtering 'em the fust of
duties.

Eugh! Basshy-Baz-Hooks can't be wuss ! Which that fool Sam's
just sent a letter,
Saying he's caught " two Death's-head Moths "—the bare idea!—
" and reglar beauties " ! ! !

I ain't no patience with that boy, nor like ways them of simmylar
notions.

Squash 'em! I says. A studying 'em I holds to be pernishus error.
They 're nasty nuisances all round, as raises shuddering emotions,
From fleas to what Sam calls—the name sounds werry pat—
Coaly-hop-terror .*

* Can she mean Coleoptera '}

There's that Potato-Beetle now! Sam wants a speciment. Good
gracious !

The foolishness of people's fads is jest enough to drive one frantic.
The warmint's coming Eastward Ho! They say its appetite \s
woracious.

Can't " Civilisation" keep that pest from crossing of the wide
Atlantic ?

Better be doing that, I think, than giving crackjaw names to
creeturs

As should be nameless, like—ahem!—who doubtless is the father
on 'em.

A-seeking what they may devour!—as all these pests is frightful
eaters.

Speciment ? Yes, I'd speciment the lot, if I could drop upon 'em!

Taters is surely dear enough, and likeways bad,—which good old
"mealies"

For love nor money can't be had,—without this Colorado bother,
This Dory—drat its name, I says, who cares for that ? Which
what I feel is

Far better stamp all warmints out than tell, in gibberish, one
from t'other.

They say as wopses, gad-flies, beetles, lady-birds, and many a
creeper ,
Is down on it! I wish they'd jest Kilkenny-Cat all round and
finish. .
But sixty miles a year! What chance of seeing wares or
" middlins " cheaper,
If that there Coaly-Hopper comes, and year by year our crops
diminish ?

Who '11 save pur Murphies ? That's the cry ! If Mr. Butt would
only raise it, ,. , t_ • tt -d i

He'd serve his country better than by bawling out his Home-Kule

humbug.