Punch (71.1876)

A VOCATION.

Young Genius (gazing with complacency at his Mother's Portrait, to which he has just added the last finishing touch). " What we really
want, Mother, to regenerate Art and restore it to its former Htgh Position, is that a Man should arise amongst us
who should combine the Loftiest Aims with absolutely unlimited Power!—and I must say, Mother, I can't see why /

should not be that MAN ! "

Fond and foolish Mamma. "I'm sure you might, Algernon, if you tried/"

What a cheering thought is that of the improvement and amelio-
ration of the spirits of animals occurring in the spirit-sphere!
There, even an Ass learns to spell, however imperfectly. The cry is
still " Excelsior ! " As Man, ascending proportionately in the scale
of Being, to what an immeasurable altitude may a Spiritualist, like
me, expect to rise above a donkey!

" AYILLS OE THEIR OWN."

(Not from the Illustrated London News.)

The Will and testament of Horatio Growler, of Grumpy Hall,
dated November, 1846, has been proved under £200,000, whereby he
bequeaths his property in equal shares to his brothers John and
James. By a codical dated August, 1854, he revokes his bequest to
John, on the ground that the latter has married a wife with a
squint. By a codicil dated January, 1861, he leaves all his property
to the Earlswood Asylum for Idiots, with the intent of thereby
equitably providing for his brothers and their families. A codicil
dated June, 1867, contains mere personal abuse of his relations, as
do codicils dated May, 1870, and July, 1872. A codicil, dated
September, 1875, leaves all his property to his Cook, "the only
woman he ever knew who could make a leg of mutton last from
Sunday to Saturday." It is probable that this Will will be disputed.

The Will of Hannah Maria Sarah, relict of John Foodles, dry-
salter, dated June, 1870, has been proved under £90,000. Testatrix
leaves to her four sons £50 each, and to each gf her seven daughters
£100, and bequeaths the remainder to the founding of a hospital
for lost dogs and cats.

The Will of Patrick O'Flanagan, dated "either July or
August," 1872, has been proved under £300. By it £5000 are left
to the British Museum, to purchase the ancient sculptures of Ire-
land ; £10,000 to the National Gallery, to encourage Irish Art, and
£10,000 to the Zoological Society, to form and maintain a collection

of Irish wild beasts. The testator leaves all his kingdom of Tip-
perary to his brother-in-law, Augustus O'Leary, "hereby
apologising for having broken the latter's head at Clonmel Fair "—
and also the ancient regal Crown, '' when that thief Lanagan brings
it back." By a codicil of a later date, testator bequeaths so much of his
stock of blue-stone whiskey, "as may not be consumed at the time
of his death," to his cousins, on the condition that "they do not
make beasts of themselves at his funeral."

The WiU of Lycurgus Solomon, Journalist, dated March, 1874,
has been proved under £800, which sum has been left to establish
an Asylum for Indigent Authors. To Fitzmorrls Belvidere,
Actor, is left the critique, wherein Testator declared that the afore-
said Fitzmorris Belvidere was "the very worst Actor that had
ever tried to bring Shakspeare into contempt." To Montmorency
St. John, Dramatist and Actor, is left the critique, wherein Testator
declared that the aforesaid Montmorency St. John was " as little
capable of acting the part of a Gentleman as he was of describing one."
To Georgina La Hose, Novelist, is left the critique, wherein Testator
declared that the aforesaid Georgina La Rose "had better cease
staining her ringers with ink, and devote what little intellect she is
endowed with to the making of slippers, or the turning of a
mangle." To the Managers of the different Metropolitan Theatres
are left several unacted Tragedies, and to the various Publish-
ing Firms of London are bequeathed some hundredweights of
manuscript.

The Will of William Sires, Gentleman at large, dated. October,
1869, has been proved under a nominal sum. To his "firm pal,"
Jack, he bequeaths his favourite Jemmy; to his " Rorty Cully,"
Bill, the "ticker," which he "bunged from the old cove on
Denmark Hill;" and to his " Leary Bloke," Bob, his unexpired
Ticket-of-Leave.

Two Gates to the East which Require Looking After.—
Constantinople and Temple-Bar.