Punch (71.1876)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[December 23, 1876.

A GENTLE EGOTIST.

The only Son (in the Bosom of Ms Family). " 1 Punch ' ! ' Graphic ' ! ! ' Illustrated London News ' !! ! What ridiculous Waste
of Money to buy these, when I can see them any Day I likk at the Club for Nothing !"

No! Tier heye oh the mane and the tail of the roused British Lion,
she stands

With Guyment a-watching and smiling to see how she " strengthens
their hands,"

Betsy Prig, with her sentiment shelved, and her spread-eagle

standard upreared,
And "England's Imperial Interests " for ever! Hooray! Who's

afeared ?

AN ENGLISH STEEPLE-CHASE.

(Dedicated to the Middlesex Magistrates, with Mr. Punch's

Compliments.)

A Picture suggested isy Imagination.

A beautiful country of the greenest trees and the smoothest turf.
Birds singing in the hushes. A cloudless sky reflected in the clear
spring water filling the brooks. Nature at her best.
_ The horses the finest of their breed—gently nurtured and kindly
ridden. The course a good old English cross-country road o'er turf
and hedge, testing the sinews and nerves, but not too harshly.

The spectators, the fairest and the bravest of the land—beautiful
women, refined and graceful; men of gentle blood, strong with
health, and athletic from their childhood, the patterns of the
country : gay, without licence ; merry with becoming mirth.

The patrons great landowners, proud of their nationality, anxious
to see England in possession of the grandest cavalry the world has
ever seen.

The place the boast of the neighbourhood.
In short, the picture of an Arcadian Paradise.

A Picture founded upon Fact.

A miserable swamp—mud and stunted bushes trodden* under
foot by hob-nailed boots. The barking of curs and the shouts of
drunken men. A few deep puddles of the dirtiest of dirty water.
Nature at her worst.

The horses miserable creatures, scarcely worthy to crawl between

the shafts of a broken-down hackney-cab or a superannuated
bathing-machine.

The course a narrow road, through mud and slush, over cruel
stone-heaps and break-neck " brooks "—a course meant to put both
necks and backs in jeopardy, to maim, if not to kill, the riders and
the ridden.

The spectators the foulest of the foul—bold, and brazen-
faced, painted, loud and licentious women, the shame of their sex ;
the men brutal and low-browed, full of oaths and blasphemy ;
miserable shop-boys, with pockets full of stolen coin; burglars
and thieves ; drunkards and blacklegs ; rags of the frowsiest
covering rogues of the blackest and deepest dyes.

The patrons, sellers of strong drink. Drink adulterated and bad.
Drink blunting the senses of some, and leaving them helpless logs
upon the muddy road. Drink exciting the passions of others, and
turning dull brutes into wild beasts, pickpockets into highwaymen,
bullies into murderers.

The place the curse of the neighbourhood.

In short, the picture of a suburban hell!

Christmas Charity.

{A paragraph received from our Special Penny-a-liner.)

We willingly record an act of seasonable benevolence, which
thoroughly deserves the fullest possible publicity; and we therefore
do not hesitate to admit it to our columns. A Gentleman, whose
name we are at present not at liberty to mention, has conceived the
happy thought of distributing some thousands of Punch's useful
Almanack among the London poor. No better means could be
devised for diffusing information and general intelligence, as well
as cheerful mirth; and as each gift will be accompanied with a bit
of Christmas beef, an excellent plum-pudding, a dozen of mince-
pies, and a gallon of good beer, there can be very little doubt that
it will be everywhere most thankfully received.

Plural of Bouquets.—Book-cases.