Punch (93.1887)

36 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHAEIVAEL V*™ 23, 1887.

supposed to be in a state of suspended animation what time the
Sultan made up his mind. The Markiss reported to have replied
that Wolff was " rather in a state of animated
expectancy." Capital capping of a joke, only it
appears Markiss isn't personally responsible for it.

"It would," he said, with a wink at Granville,
" be disrespectful to use language like that with
respect to Her Majesty's Ambassador."

Hebschel says, Markiss is only mad
because he didn't think of it at the time,
and is jealous of the more nimble fancy of
the reporters. In the Commons, Bryce
announces that he will continue nightly to
inquire about Wolfe till he gets satis-
factory answers.

A hot dull night and the Irish Land Bill
again. John Dillon had the best of it,
delivering a lively speech to full audience.
After this, Members began to go to dinner,
and forgot to return. A full muster on
both Front Benches. Gladstone again in
summer costume, with a rose in his coat
and a gleam in his eye. Has grown ten
years younger in the last fortnight.
Spalding wiped off five years, North Pad-
dington two, and Coventry the rest.

A few more triumphs at the poll,"
says John Moblet, " and he '11 be younger
than any of us."

After dinner, Goest made a speech on
behalf of Bill. Shrewd, pointed, and
weighty with argument. "Another proof
of fatuity of Government," said Paenell,
who has come back in a brown billycock
iw''uu • hat, "that they don't make more use of

Goest. Worth a bushelful of Geoegy Hamiltons, Gibsons,
Matthewses, or even Smiths."
When spirits of House properly attuned, H. C. E. Childees ap-
peared on the scene, and delivered prodigious
speech, through which the few Members
present gently dozed.

Business done.—Irish Land Bill.
Thursday.—Cheerful presence of Ash-
bourne diffused over Minis-
terial Bench in Lords to- night.
Not often here. Has given up
to Dublin what was meant for
mankind. Always unfeignedly
delighted to get back to West-
minster. Business to-night to
move the Second Reading of
Coercion Bill. Considerable
gathering of Peers, expecting
debate, and possible division.
Amazed to find Front Oppo-
sition Bench almost empty.
Gbanville rises to explain that
it is useless to fight measure,
and therefore don't intend to
raise debate. Abgyll furious.
Had meant to smash Opposition,
and they had run away 1 Sel-
/, i boene sleekly sarcastic. Ad-
Zj mitted he, too, had speech
ready, but would wait for
audience on Front Bench oppo-
H(ere) C(omes) Everybody) Ch-ld-rs. Bjte> General feeling of dis-
appointment. Several Peers who had come down, expecting lively
entertainment, wanted their money returned at the doors. Markiss
referred them to Gbanville, but Gbanville had already smiled his
way out. Bill read Second Time, and sitting comically collapsed.

Commons crowded. Gbandolph's name underlined on the bills.
Understood he meant to "go for" the Government. Expectation
fully realised. Took the Land Bill out of Balfouk's hands, publicly
danced on it, kicked it up and down floor of House, and finally
tore it to shreds.

"I trust," he said, when, at end of hour's exercise of this kind,
nothing was left of the Bill but its title, "that I have not by these
observations added to the difficulties of the situation."

" Not at all, not at all," said Old Morality, polite to the last.

After Gbandolph's finished performance, Habcouet a little heavy.
Humour rose to highest level when he alluded to Jesse Collings as
" the Member for Three Acres and a Cow." Henet James deeply
offended at levity of Haecotjet's tone. This last hit too much for
him. Rose and quitted House amid hilarious cheers from Parnellites.

" That's the worst of these fellows," said Mr. Leahy, looking on

reflectively from the Bar. "Now they've begun to associate with
gentlemen, our company's not good enough for them."

More speeches, including one from
Paenell and another from Glad-
stone. But Gbandolph's speech
worth more than a division; so Second
Reading of Land Bill passed without
challenging one. Business done.—
Lords read Coercion Bill Second Time,
Commons the Land Bill.

Souse of Lords, Friday.—Glad it's
all over, and nobody shot. At one
time homicide seemed imminent.
Gbanville, taking note of complaint
of absence of Opposition on previous
night, skilfully touched a chord of
human nature. Explained that he
had been present till eight o'clock, an
hour which suggested dinner. More
than one mouth watered, and a sob
of sympathy was heard from Bench
where new Peer, formerly known as
Sclateb - Booth, sat. Noethbeook,
however, obdurate. Introduced state-
ment, which drew from Gbanville
quiet remark, " That is not true."
Noethbeook hotly resumed his seat,
as he said, to give Gbanville oppor-
tunity for explanation. Here was a
pretty go! Lord Chancellob, with
great presence of mind, adroitly, and That 6 the wor,f ol these
apparently accidentally, covered Sword fellows
of State under heap of papers. Who could say what might happen
if a bloodthirsty eye rested on this fortuitous means of attack?
Gbanville, cool and self-possessed, repeated his abrupter ejacula-
tions in more delicate, round-about fashion.

" I certainly," he observed, defiantly eyeingNoRTHBROOic, " said,
as far as my knowledge goes, the statement is inaccurate."

A moment's breathless Bilence. The offence was repeated, with
the added insult of mocking phrase. Would Northbrook ask Gban-
ville to " come outside," or would he swallow the affront ? North-
beook looked a moment at the veteran Leader, noted his resolute
look, his straightened figure, and the forefinger of his right hand
dallying with a corner of a paper containing the Orders of the day,
as if he were playing with pistol-trigger. On the whole, he thought
he'd change the subject; which he did, to the relief of the excited
ring of spectators. Business done.—Lords passed two stages of
Coercion Bill right off. Commons in Surp'y.

SIR "WILLIAM'S SKETCH OF THE GIPSIES ON THE TREASURY
BENCH, July 14.
" Gipsies, said the play, disfigured the children they stole in order that
they might pass them for their own. (Laughter.) The gipsies on the
Treasury Bench (renewed laughter) stole the Bankruptcy Clauses of the Right
Hon. Member for West Birmingham, and disfigured them in order that they
might pass them for their own. (Cheers and laughter.) "

New Novel, dedicated to Dr. Jackson of New York : The Coming
Man; or, The Lost Hair of the Ages. By Baldeb Dash.

Mrs. Ram says, of all uniforms she prefers that of the Horrible
Artillery Company.

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