Punch (93.1887)

August 13, 1887.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

01

AT THE OVAL.

Surrey versus Notts. August 1st, 2nd, and 3rd 1887.
{By One of the Fifty Thousand.)
Enthusiastic Surreyite loquitur:—
Soorat! Oh, you must let me holloa. I'm one of the famed " Surrey Crowd,"
And a roar for a win such as this is, cannot be too long or too loud,

"Won by four wickets! As good as though "Walter

had scored half a million,
Great Scott! what a rush from the ring! what a

crowd round the crowded Pavilion!
Lohhann I Maurice Read !! Shuter !!! they
shouted. Key 1!! Key !!! Lohhann ! I!
Lohhann!!!
" Took down the number " of Notts, Sir, ands/je's

a redoubtable foeman.
We haven't licked her for years, and she crowed,

Sir, and not without reason ;
And now, under Shuter, we've done it at laBt,
X,o. man. gj^ an(^ ^wice jn one seas0n!

After a terrible tussle; how oft was my heart in my mouth. Sir.
Luck now seemed to lean to the North, and anon would incline to the South, Sir.
Game wasn't won till 'twas lost. Hooray, though, for Surrey! 'Twas her win.
We missed our Wood at the wicket, Notts squared it by missing her Sherwin,
Both with smashed fingers! Rum luck! But then cricketing luck is a twister.
And Sherwin turned up second innings. Did you twig his face when he
missed. iiGr

That ball from j.'Shuter, our Captain ? It ranked pretty high among matches,

But Surrey did make some mistakes, Sir, and Notts-well, they couldn't hold

catches.

Shuter shone up, did he not ? Forty-four, fifty-three, and such cutting!
Hooray ! Here's his jolly good health, and look sharp, for they 're close upon
shutting.

Partial be blowed! I'm a Surreyite down to my socks, that's a fact, Sir.
Must shout when my county men score, and don't

mind being caught in the act, Sir.
Cracks didn't somehow come oft. Arthur

Shrewsbury, Notts' great nonsuch,
Didn't make fifty all told, and our Walter—the

world holds but one such—
A poor twenty-five and eighteen—a mere fleabite

forW.W.

Still, he's our glory ; and if you can spot such

another, I '11 trouble you.
Grace ? Why, of course, in his day he was cock

of the walk-that's a moral. Shrews-bery
-I won't say a word against him; but our Walter !—well, there, we won't

quarrel.

I m Surrey, you know, as I said. I remember Jupp, Humphry, and Ste-

venson,

JBurly Ben Grifeith, and Southerton ! Well, if it ever was evens on
Match, it was surely on this one. Oh, yes, I gave points, six to five, Sir,
-But then I have always backed Surrey, and will do so whilst I'm alive, Sir.
And t'other was Notts, don't you see, so I couldn't well show the white feather.
Ah! well, 'twas a wonderful match; such a crowd, such a game, and such
T \. -K' (that's Mr. Key) showed remarkably promising cricket— [weatherJ
J- did feel a little bit quisby when Sherwln snapped him at the wicket.

'Twas getting too close, Sir, for comfort; two

hundred and five takes some making—
When Barnes nicked Bead, Shuter, and Hender-
son, 'gad, there were lots of hearts quaking,
[ft Seventy-eight for a win, Sir, and five of our best
jifj wickets levelled.

yr Notts then began to pickup, and I own I felt rather
blue-devilled;
But Surrey has got a rare team, and you see, when
the toppers do fail, Sir,
n . _ They look at it this way, my boy,—there is all the

bunn and Barnes. _ more chance for the " tail," Sir.

Gnat's what I call true cricket pluck, and so, even when Maurice Bead
T ■ quitted him,

-inat s what young Lohhann perceived; the place wanted cool grit—and it
fitted him.

p,ls thirty-five, and not out, was worth more, Sir, than many a " Century."
flayed like an iceberg, he did ; style neither too tame nor too venture-y.
*w>r crippled Wood backed him bravely, and he made the winning hit, he did.
W on by four wickets 1 Hooray! GaUant Surrey at last has succeeded
in knocking the dust out of Notts. I've hoorayed till my tongue feels quite
y furry.

1 es> I like the best side to win,—hut I'm thundering glad, though, it's
Surrey!!!

"Over the Water with Lawson" [Change of Name).—Jack Tar to he
Known m future as Tom Fool.

PARLIAMENTARY NOTICES.

House oj Commons for August.
Disorders opjche'Day.
Legalised Duels (England) Bill—Beport.
Shillelagh (Irish) Supply Bill—Second Beading.
Ways and Means (Assaults)—Committee.
Speaker's Wig Destruction Bill—As amended to be
considered.

Questions.

Mr. Billon.—Whether Her Majesty's Government
contemplate allowing_ Mr. De Lisle to smile, and if so,
whether any precautions will be taken to prevent his
receiving a thrashing.

' Dr. Tanner.—To ask the Chief Secretary of the Lord-
Lieutenant whether he has any objection to tread upon
the tail of his coat.

Colonel Saunderson.—To ask the First Lord of the
Treasury as to the condition of the eyes and noses of
certain Members of the Nationalist Party.

Notice op Motion.

Mr. T. Healy — Physical Force, House of Commons
(England)—Bill to facilitate the establishment of a Bear
Garden in St. Stephen's.

HAVOC!

In wrath redundant Swinburne turns and rends

The "good grey" bard. Alack for Swinburne's

"friends"!
He worshipped once at thy red shine, Bevolt,
Now thou'rt a mark for his Olympian bolt;
But when he rounds on poor barbaric Walt,
One can but gasp, and wonder where he '11 halt.
Coupled with Byron in one furious " slate " 'i
0 poor Manhattan mouther, what a fate !
Algernon's blunderbuss is double-barrelled;
Down at one shot go "Drum Taps" and " Childe

Harold."

Just fancy being levelled down to—Byron !

Alas! what woes the poet's path environ. ["gander."

What next, and next? Byron called Southey

But then the lordly rhymester railed at Landor,

One of the Swinburne fetishes, enough

To prove that aU he wrote was soulless stuff—

But stop! Who knows that Swinburne, on the ravage,

May not, next time, pitch into Walter Savage ?

The idols he once worshipped now he'd burn,

So e'en Mazzini yet may have his turn—■

Nay, since the hour for palinodes has struck,

At Hugomania he may run amuck ;

And, Victor being laid upon the shelf,

There '11 be but one to round upon—himself.

ELEGANT EXTRACTS BY EMINENT MEN.

A very interesting article appears in the current
number of the Fortnightly Magazine, in which the
favourite '' quotations'' of many celebrated persons are in-
troduced, with much effect. Always ready to take a hint,
Mr. Punch has asked everyone he knows to furnish him
with his predilections. The following is the result :—

Mr. Briefless, Junior, of Pump-handle Court writes
"I have carefully considered the circular you have for-
warded to me, and am distinctly of opinion that my
favourite reading is,' With you the Attorney-General.' "

"Robert" says that his favourite phrase is, '"Ere's
'alf a sovereign for yourself, but you deserves more'"

'"Arry" says he can't think of anything more "fust
class " than, " The 'orn of the 'unter is 'eard on the 'ill "

And (more or less) the whole world declares that there
is no pleasanter announcement than " Punch or the
London Charivari, is published every Wednesday "

Mem. for Our Muddlers.

It cannot be in the interests of peace that we turn
our swords into—corkscrews, and our bayonets into—
button-hooks. That extremely secular reading of a
sacred passage, appears to be the accepted one, how-
ever, in Ordnance Departments, and other places where
they play the fool.

vol. xcni.