Punch (93.1887)

60

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[August 6, 1887.

Tuesday Evening,—Chablie Beeesjobd about. House to-night in unusually
limp condition. Avoided Treasury Bench. Wouldn't even enter House.
" Only come down," says he, " to signal post- ^j*u
master to hand over letters." Rumour gathers J^S&h
that Chaeles has had difficulty with_ his
colleagues. Perhaps feels remorse about Crimes /^flf
Bill, or can't stomach Land Bill. However it M^wL^r*
be, it is confidently whispered that he has /s^Kil'B^iijS^
resigned. All the Naval Captains on Con- B^StiM.'h&j^i'-i^ \
servative side make a point of loitering about ^Pfi^MffiS^^BrllK
Treasury Bench, and, if possible, exchange a

word with-Old Morality. If there is vacancy at ,re^HKo^k

Admiralty, will want a substitute. No harm in v rap§ip©f>rI^^^m^b
reminding him of the existence of one or two. ~\><3c' iPslliplSf'

Presently made clear that it is for domestic, ^ ' B^T^Bi^"-
not political, reasons that Chaelib has resigned. Seems Wfon^S^MM
that when at Review on Saturday, he, being on Queen's W'f)mi&mPW//
Yacht, filled up idle five minutes by signalling to his wife WM/^^W/iB
on another ship. This grave breach of etiquette shakes W'wfiS'ii Ski
naval force of Great Britain to centre. Can be atoned , ///WlmSKmm^m
for only by offender sacrificing his professional position :rl/Mffw^^m£,y
and prospects. So Chablie sends in his resignation, and J i/AiliJSm^S^
Beitauma, dissolved in tears, weeps over her errant son. ''^mT^Kt^
Procedure of course only formal. Can't spare gallant and -/ i
capable sailor like this on account of breach of etiquette. I wHHflfl

Business done.—Land Bill in Committee.

Thursday Night.—Tim on the rampage. Satjitdeeson ^^^Sr UiV
set him agog at Question time, by rubbing him down ^*gEr o-*^
wrong way. But it was Balfoue who completed work. As
Till frankly admits, cannot sit opposite Balfotje, smirking « stop thief! "
on Treasury Bench, without losing control of himself.

" I know it's wrong, Toby," he said to me after, in the Lobby, "but there
is only one way to prevent it. I must quit the House, and go out for a walk
on Terrace. To see Balfoue sitting over there on the small of his back, sneering
whilst we are trying to do our best for Ireland, is too much for me."

Having had back put up by Baleotje, Conservatives below Gangway opposite
completed transformation of Tim from peaceable citizen into an infuriate.
Hennikeb Heatoit, charging himself only half postage, sent frequent irritating
messages across floor of House. Tim made show of taking off coat, turning up
sleeves, and harrying Henhikeb. Chairman interposed with threat of

Here's Timothy Healy, Here's Mr. de Lisle,

"Who spoke too freely. "Who " didn't even smile."

(A Fancy Portrait.)

" Naming." Tim defied him, but presently gave in, and withdrew offensive
remarks.

Seemed all over now. De Lisle proposed to offer few observations. Smartly
rapped on head by Cotjbtney, and resumed seat. Then Division. Whilst
House cleared, De Lisle took opportunity to have little conversation with
Coubtkey. Tim watched him with lowering eyes. The Division takes about ten
minutes. Supposing he and De Lisle were to pair, go on the Terrace, and have
it out? Happy Thought. Suggest it to De Lisle. Swooped down on him
while talking to Coubtney in'ehair, and plainly propounded proposition.

" Come out! " he said, in blood-curdling whisper. " Come out, if you are a
man. If you interrupt me again, I '11 break your neck."

This conclusive, but as argumentative process not recognised in House.
De Lisle went out by a door other than that affected by Tim. Chairman said
nothing, but as soon as Members returned from Division Lobby sent for Speakee,

and reported circumstances to him. So Tim was suspended.
Now partially anticipating the Recess. House practically
empty. To-night filled up for this scene. After it was
over, Benches cleared again, there being nothing more
interesting than business to the fore.

Business done.—Committee on Land Bill.

Friday.— Captain Bunsby appeared in House to-
night. Took familiar and graceful form of Richaed
Temple. Some
one questioned
him as to what
would London
School Board
do if the Pen-
sions Bill pro-
moted by it did
not pass this
Session?
Would they
terminate en-
gagements for
purpose of
c o mpelling
their servants
to come within
provisions of
Bill?

"Sir," said
Sir Richard,
casting kill-
ing glance
at Ladies'
Gallery,
'' whether the
Board shallsee
fit to exercise
their power is
a question When found, make a Note of for Tit

which no man Bits."
can answer; and, if so be, wherefore ? Why, Sir,
because the_ Board will never form a decision on contin-
gencies which have not yet arisen."

House delighted. Roared with laughter.

" When found, make a note of for Tit Bits," said
Newmes ; and he did.

Land Bill in Committee again. Getting terribly dull,
though wakes up now and then when Haecoubt inter-
poses. Tremendous scene at Half-past Two this morn-
ing, when Old Morality rebuked him. 0. M. accused
Haecoubt of making charge against Ministerialists.

" I don't know what charge I have made," said Hae-
coubt; "but I am prepared to maintain all I have said."

That, of course, settled matter, and Members went
home.

Business done.—Land Bill in Committee.

GROUSE PROSPECTS.

Two " Biiids'-b\'e " Views.

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