DOI issue:
December 24, 1887
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17658#0299
December 24, 1887.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
293
PICCADILLY PLAYERS.
A pew evenings since, I assisted at a Members' Concert in Picca-
dilly where a very fair exhibition of Amateur Musical talent was dis-
playedbythe " Strolling Players."
The vocal part of the entertain-
ment was especially good, thanks
to the really charming singing of
the Misses Agnes Janson and
Hamlin'. The geniuses in the
Orchestra who are for all time,
and any tune, managed occa-
sionally to get a little out of
hand in spite of Mr. Norfolk
Megone's earnest conductorship.
Taken all round, "The First
Members' Concert" was so good
that I should not have the
smallest objection to attending
the Second.
The Ancient Mariner with Mr.
J. F. Baknett's brilliant music
at St. James's Hall last Thurs-
day night, held entranced a large
audience which listened " like a
three ears child " (" Had I three
ears I'd hear thee," says Macbeth. Did Coleridge write Shaks-
peare ?—however, this has nothing much to do with the cantata, and
so on we goes again)—so "the Mariner hath his Will" (which is
almost conclusive evidence that Coleridge's Mariner was written
by Will Shaksfeare) and we were all delighted. I hadn't a book.
Who was Albert Ross that the Mariner shot ? Madame Patet sang
" O Sleep, it is a Genteel Thing!" (I think these were the words)
with great feeling and expression. Beautiful idea, " sleep a genteel
thing! " Somebody told me I was wrong, and that the poet wrote,
" O Sleep, it is a Gentle Thing.'" which anybody could have said,
without being a poet. So I prefer my own version. The recitative
(Santley) and chorus (Everybody), about "the coming wind did
roar," and something (I didn't catch what) was "like a sledge," and
" the Moon was on its side and then upon its edge," which sounds
just what a harvest moon would do after a good day's harvesting,
were excellent.
Then followed Mr. C. V. Stanford's Symphony in F Minor,
" The Irish," as my neighbour informed me, to which I replied,
"Oh, indeed!" and appeared, as I hope, much interested; though
what he meant I haven't the smallest idea. Who was my neigh-
bour ?—a very learned person who kept on drawing my attention to the
excellent instrumentation, and the admirable use which the Com-
poser had made of his "strings"—I didn't see that he had any
"strings," but I said, "Ah, yes,"—his "Wood-wind and Horns."
" Just observe his horns!" said my neighbour enthusiastically. He
spoke of Mr. C. V. Stanford as if he were drawing the portrait of
Ancient Nicholas, as portrayed by Cbuikshank when illustrating
The Lay of S. Medard, in the Ingoldsby Legends. A Composer
with Strings, Wood-wind (" comest thou with blasts from-" &c,
as Baconspeare hath it) and " horns " is the man to write a cantata
entitled " Heme the Hunter," and I am not at all sure that there
isn't a Heme already in existence, and that that Heme iisn't
His'n. After a pause (during which the orchestra continued
playing) my neighbour begged me to notice that now the theme was,
"Remember the glories of O'Brien the Brave," but at this point
not wishing to enter into a political discussion which might have
landed me in the police-station, I courteously, but firmly, wished him
good night, and having signified to everybody generally the extreme
pleasure I had derived from the entertainment provided by the
Messrs. Novello and Ewer, I gracefully withdrew, and am, No
Fellow, but Ewers truly, The Cricket on the Harp.
P.S.—Apropos of music, I cannot refrain from mentioning the
gathering of the elite who recently collected together to do honour to the
talents of Mrs. Dutton Cook. Madame Albani was in great force,
and the fair beneficiaire played with her customary grace and
artistic feeling, eliciting the invariable result of unbounded applause.
It is to be greatly regretted that the Public have not the opportunity
of hearing Mrs. Button Cook more frequently. She is certainly in
the first rank of pianists and a sound musician.
' I heae," said Mrs. Ram, " that the Princess Christian has writ-
ten, about the Margarine of Baireuth. I like to hear of Royalty
interesting themselves in such matters. However," she added, "of
oourse, they know which side their Bread's buttered, and like the
butter, whether at home or abroad—that is, here or at Baireuth—
to be of the very best. So do I."
"The Gramophone."—New invention for repeating any number
ot crams over and over again. Useful to advertisers, quaoks, &c, &o.
TOO CLEVER BY HALE.
1 Out of every thousand men in the Army there are now 816 of superior
education. .. . H.K.H. the Field-Marshal Commander-in-Chief has directed
Officers to use every means at their disposal to induce men to improve their
education in order to obtain the certificate necessary for promotion."—Daily
Paper.
Scene— The Barrack Square of the Royal Irish Bengal Essex
Highlanders (Prince Christian of Schleswig-Holstein's Own).
Members of the Regiment assembling for Morning Parade. A
Company falling in.
Captain Dash (commanding A Company). Ready for inspection,
Sergeant?
Sergeant Babington Macaulay (saluting). Directly, Sir. I have
called away the men from a discussion on the question of entail.
Captain. Dear me I You should not have done that. I shall be
only too ready to assist them by any means in my power.
Sergeant. Well, Sir, they are now in close order. If you wish, I
will open them out. (Captain nods assent. To men.) Open order 1
[Flank files rear rank step back two paces.
Corporal (dressing flank flies). Steady!
Sergeant. March! (Remainder of rear rank step back.) Order
arms! Stand at ease ! [He salutes Captain, and conies to attention.
Captain. 'Tention! (Company springs up to desired position.)
Now, my men, I hear that some of you require to know something
about the Law of Entail. Now those of you who have taken any
certificate from a University can take a pace to the front. March!
(The entire Company complies.) Dear me I You seem to be very
well educated. Eh, Sergeant ?
Sergeant. Well, pretty well, Sir. We are not equal to E Company,
although we can hold our own fairly against B, C, D, F, and Gr. As
for H Company, it is out of the competition altogether. H Company
is the best read Company in the Battalion, if not in the Regiment.
Captain. Well, what is the difficulty? Call out the man who
started the subject. Perhaps I may be able to help him.
Sergeant (salutes and turns to Company). Private Thomas Atkins
take three paces to your front. March! Now then, salute. Sir!
(Aside.) This extra education makes them rusty with their drill.
Captain. Well, Private Atkins, can I help you at all ?
Private Atkins (touching his rifle with his right hand). A thousand
thanks, Sir, for your extreme kindness and courtesy. Still I cannot
fairly monopolise all your attention, as I was only one of many
desirous of learning a little law.
Captain. I suppose you know all about the Feudal System ?
Private (smiling). I can safely undertake to say that there is not a
man in the Company who does not appreciate its provisions.
Captain. Quite so. Well, the practice of entail is founded more
or less on the Feudal System. You understand the advantages and
disadvantages of Primogeniture P
Private. Certainly, Sir. I suppose Borough English was rather
before the time of the Norman Conquest P
Captain. I imagine so: but perhaps the best way will be for you
all to come to my quarters, where I can explain the matter more fully
to you than I can here. _ I have no doubt the Colonel will excuse the
Company, if I inform him for what purpose we propose absenting
ourselves. At any rate I will ask him.
Private. A million thanks, Sir. I am sure every man in the
Company will be grateful to you.
Sergeant. Right about turn! Quick march! Halt! Front!
Shoulder arms!
Captain. Stand them easy while I go away. (Sergeant obeys
order, and Captain approaches and salutes Colonel.) Beg pardon
Sir, but may I march my Company to my quarters to give them a,
lecture on law ?
Colonel (rather querulously). Well, Dash, of course I'm not going
to say No; but it really is rather rough upon me. Here B Company
has got permission to study botany, C Company the elements of
engineering, D, F, and G chemistry. I shall be left with H Com
pany, because they have nothing more to learn. What on earth
shall I give them to do if you are off too ?
Captain. Wouldn't presume to suggest Sir; but mightn't H have
a little practice m the rudiments of drill ?
Colonel. By Jove, you are right! They are rusty enough! Verv
well, you may go. ' °™u8u' '«ry
[Scene closes in upon A Company marching towards Captain
Dash's quarters, while the Adjutant neUTTO oaPta.}n
some difficulty) into something^rfperlZZlHr
receiving elementary instruction in the ^X^F'S/s?"
met o^Xhade^of^ttl111^^ C^araoter of «nr leading states-
da? TW ™ 1»» ™P ^^lopiMon is well sustained at the present
wK'nfc frfftl. ed m ali the bogies, including ap-ologies, of
™«r7rf T^„GlADl\°N:E1and Mr- BalpoU are by this timl past
masters. Long may they live-and learn.
293
PICCADILLY PLAYERS.
A pew evenings since, I assisted at a Members' Concert in Picca-
dilly where a very fair exhibition of Amateur Musical talent was dis-
playedbythe " Strolling Players."
The vocal part of the entertain-
ment was especially good, thanks
to the really charming singing of
the Misses Agnes Janson and
Hamlin'. The geniuses in the
Orchestra who are for all time,
and any tune, managed occa-
sionally to get a little out of
hand in spite of Mr. Norfolk
Megone's earnest conductorship.
Taken all round, "The First
Members' Concert" was so good
that I should not have the
smallest objection to attending
the Second.
The Ancient Mariner with Mr.
J. F. Baknett's brilliant music
at St. James's Hall last Thurs-
day night, held entranced a large
audience which listened " like a
three ears child " (" Had I three
ears I'd hear thee," says Macbeth. Did Coleridge write Shaks-
peare ?—however, this has nothing much to do with the cantata, and
so on we goes again)—so "the Mariner hath his Will" (which is
almost conclusive evidence that Coleridge's Mariner was written
by Will Shaksfeare) and we were all delighted. I hadn't a book.
Who was Albert Ross that the Mariner shot ? Madame Patet sang
" O Sleep, it is a Genteel Thing!" (I think these were the words)
with great feeling and expression. Beautiful idea, " sleep a genteel
thing! " Somebody told me I was wrong, and that the poet wrote,
" O Sleep, it is a Gentle Thing.'" which anybody could have said,
without being a poet. So I prefer my own version. The recitative
(Santley) and chorus (Everybody), about "the coming wind did
roar," and something (I didn't catch what) was "like a sledge," and
" the Moon was on its side and then upon its edge," which sounds
just what a harvest moon would do after a good day's harvesting,
were excellent.
Then followed Mr. C. V. Stanford's Symphony in F Minor,
" The Irish," as my neighbour informed me, to which I replied,
"Oh, indeed!" and appeared, as I hope, much interested; though
what he meant I haven't the smallest idea. Who was my neigh-
bour ?—a very learned person who kept on drawing my attention to the
excellent instrumentation, and the admirable use which the Com-
poser had made of his "strings"—I didn't see that he had any
"strings," but I said, "Ah, yes,"—his "Wood-wind and Horns."
" Just observe his horns!" said my neighbour enthusiastically. He
spoke of Mr. C. V. Stanford as if he were drawing the portrait of
Ancient Nicholas, as portrayed by Cbuikshank when illustrating
The Lay of S. Medard, in the Ingoldsby Legends. A Composer
with Strings, Wood-wind (" comest thou with blasts from-" &c,
as Baconspeare hath it) and " horns " is the man to write a cantata
entitled " Heme the Hunter," and I am not at all sure that there
isn't a Heme already in existence, and that that Heme iisn't
His'n. After a pause (during which the orchestra continued
playing) my neighbour begged me to notice that now the theme was,
"Remember the glories of O'Brien the Brave," but at this point
not wishing to enter into a political discussion which might have
landed me in the police-station, I courteously, but firmly, wished him
good night, and having signified to everybody generally the extreme
pleasure I had derived from the entertainment provided by the
Messrs. Novello and Ewer, I gracefully withdrew, and am, No
Fellow, but Ewers truly, The Cricket on the Harp.
P.S.—Apropos of music, I cannot refrain from mentioning the
gathering of the elite who recently collected together to do honour to the
talents of Mrs. Dutton Cook. Madame Albani was in great force,
and the fair beneficiaire played with her customary grace and
artistic feeling, eliciting the invariable result of unbounded applause.
It is to be greatly regretted that the Public have not the opportunity
of hearing Mrs. Button Cook more frequently. She is certainly in
the first rank of pianists and a sound musician.
' I heae," said Mrs. Ram, " that the Princess Christian has writ-
ten, about the Margarine of Baireuth. I like to hear of Royalty
interesting themselves in such matters. However," she added, "of
oourse, they know which side their Bread's buttered, and like the
butter, whether at home or abroad—that is, here or at Baireuth—
to be of the very best. So do I."
"The Gramophone."—New invention for repeating any number
ot crams over and over again. Useful to advertisers, quaoks, &c, &o.
TOO CLEVER BY HALE.
1 Out of every thousand men in the Army there are now 816 of superior
education. .. . H.K.H. the Field-Marshal Commander-in-Chief has directed
Officers to use every means at their disposal to induce men to improve their
education in order to obtain the certificate necessary for promotion."—Daily
Paper.
Scene— The Barrack Square of the Royal Irish Bengal Essex
Highlanders (Prince Christian of Schleswig-Holstein's Own).
Members of the Regiment assembling for Morning Parade. A
Company falling in.
Captain Dash (commanding A Company). Ready for inspection,
Sergeant?
Sergeant Babington Macaulay (saluting). Directly, Sir. I have
called away the men from a discussion on the question of entail.
Captain. Dear me I You should not have done that. I shall be
only too ready to assist them by any means in my power.
Sergeant. Well, Sir, they are now in close order. If you wish, I
will open them out. (Captain nods assent. To men.) Open order 1
[Flank files rear rank step back two paces.
Corporal (dressing flank flies). Steady!
Sergeant. March! (Remainder of rear rank step back.) Order
arms! Stand at ease ! [He salutes Captain, and conies to attention.
Captain. 'Tention! (Company springs up to desired position.)
Now, my men, I hear that some of you require to know something
about the Law of Entail. Now those of you who have taken any
certificate from a University can take a pace to the front. March!
(The entire Company complies.) Dear me I You seem to be very
well educated. Eh, Sergeant ?
Sergeant. Well, pretty well, Sir. We are not equal to E Company,
although we can hold our own fairly against B, C, D, F, and Gr. As
for H Company, it is out of the competition altogether. H Company
is the best read Company in the Battalion, if not in the Regiment.
Captain. Well, what is the difficulty? Call out the man who
started the subject. Perhaps I may be able to help him.
Sergeant (salutes and turns to Company). Private Thomas Atkins
take three paces to your front. March! Now then, salute. Sir!
(Aside.) This extra education makes them rusty with their drill.
Captain. Well, Private Atkins, can I help you at all ?
Private Atkins (touching his rifle with his right hand). A thousand
thanks, Sir, for your extreme kindness and courtesy. Still I cannot
fairly monopolise all your attention, as I was only one of many
desirous of learning a little law.
Captain. I suppose you know all about the Feudal System ?
Private (smiling). I can safely undertake to say that there is not a
man in the Company who does not appreciate its provisions.
Captain. Quite so. Well, the practice of entail is founded more
or less on the Feudal System. You understand the advantages and
disadvantages of Primogeniture P
Private. Certainly, Sir. I suppose Borough English was rather
before the time of the Norman Conquest P
Captain. I imagine so: but perhaps the best way will be for you
all to come to my quarters, where I can explain the matter more fully
to you than I can here. _ I have no doubt the Colonel will excuse the
Company, if I inform him for what purpose we propose absenting
ourselves. At any rate I will ask him.
Private. A million thanks, Sir. I am sure every man in the
Company will be grateful to you.
Sergeant. Right about turn! Quick march! Halt! Front!
Shoulder arms!
Captain. Stand them easy while I go away. (Sergeant obeys
order, and Captain approaches and salutes Colonel.) Beg pardon
Sir, but may I march my Company to my quarters to give them a,
lecture on law ?
Colonel (rather querulously). Well, Dash, of course I'm not going
to say No; but it really is rather rough upon me. Here B Company
has got permission to study botany, C Company the elements of
engineering, D, F, and G chemistry. I shall be left with H Com
pany, because they have nothing more to learn. What on earth
shall I give them to do if you are off too ?
Captain. Wouldn't presume to suggest Sir; but mightn't H have
a little practice m the rudiments of drill ?
Colonel. By Jove, you are right! They are rusty enough! Verv
well, you may go. ' °™u8u' '«ry
[Scene closes in upon A Company marching towards Captain
Dash's quarters, while the Adjutant neUTTO oaPta.}n
some difficulty) into something^rfperlZZlHr
receiving elementary instruction in the ^X^F'S/s?"
met o^Xhade^of^ttl111^^ C^araoter of «nr leading states-
da? TW ™ 1»» ™P ^^lopiMon is well sustained at the present
wK'nfc frfftl. ed m ali the bogies, including ap-ologies, of
™«r7rf T^„GlADl\°N:E1and Mr- BalpoU are by this timl past
masters. Long may they live-and learn.