Punch (94.1888)

February 11, 1888.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. _

NO KING LIKE LOG.

A True Sailor's Song. Some Way after Dibdin. Air—" Nothing like Grog."
Lord Ch-bl-s B-r-sf-rd sings:—

A plague on those
wooden old lubbers
Who teach us to shirk
and to shrink I
If we of our foes would
be drubbers,
We must not' only
fight, we must
think.
The Board were all
muffs, and I twig-
ged it, Oet agog.
And Hamilton soon
Led by Red-Tape's
state rules,
He backed up the
old fools.
I'd have waked, the
whole Board, ay,
and wigged it,
For, hang it! I can't
stand King Log!

To save a few thou-
sands of guineas.
They' d ruin the whole

Commonwealth.
They 're a lot of incom-
petent ninnies,
Who sap Britain's
safety by stealth.
They will fall in the
pit when they've
digged it.
I _ gave the old
junto a jog.
I twigged their crass
folly; [Solly-
So, no doubt, did
Goschen twigged it,
ah! all of 'em
twigged it;
But—they all knuck-
led^ down to King THE GALLANT TAB. C. B. ATTACKING THE ADMIRALTY LAND-LUBBERS.

I fancied they'd yield to my preaching,

But the muffs behind Hamilton slunk.
Small use to wood dummies is teaching,

They 're victims to folly and funk.
I drew out my cutlass, he twigged it,

The whole lot of blockhead's 1 'd flog.
Yes, S. twigged, and G. twigged,

And Hamilton, he twigged;

And I twigged, and all England twigged it;
And yet I'm chucked out for King Log I

Intelligence ? Pah! they 're past thinking;

They 're ghosts, only fit for the grave.
I'd have smashed the old duffers like
winking,

When Hamilton stepped in to save.

For me,' in a moment, I twigged it,
That England they'd, land in a
bog.

One day, late or early,
John Bull will have fairly
Perceived Charley's right; having
twigged it,
By Jove won't he go for King Log ?

THE ALDERMAN'S CATECHISM.

Questions to be answered by Aldermen Elect, before being clothed

with the Crimson Robe of Office.
What age are you supposed to be ?
How long have you been that age ?

What is your special occupation after your ordinary occupation ?
What did you promise and vow when addressing your constituents ?
Have you a good cellar of wine ?
What is the vintage of your oldest Port ?
What is your candid opinion as to dry Champagne ?
Are you thoroughly acquainted with Professor Toole's Practice
of Magistrates f

Do you sincerely think that you can dine out four nights a wet k
for six: successive months, and still come up smiling ?

When reaching home, after a truly gorgeous banquet, do you find
any difficulty of a "truly rural" character ?

Will you temper justice with mercy in all cases of comparatively
mild inebriation ?

Have you a thorough knowledge of the Law and Practice of Cri-
ml-™s, ? If not, why not ?

Will you always draw a proper and respectful distinction between
a bet for £500 at Tattersall's, and one for a paltry half-crown at a
mere vulgar pub ?

_ When do you purpose laying in your wine at the Mansion House
m preparation for jour Mayoralty ?

Which is your favourite Cookery Book ?

Have vou thoroughly mastered the mysteries of the letter H ?

We will not insult you by asking if you are a Teetotaller, but can
you take your bottle of '47 Port after dinner like a gentleman ?

Can you contemplate without a shudder the taking upon yourself
the various arduous duties of a Sheriff ?

Have you commenced preparing yourself by joining several Livery
Companies ?

Will you procure and commit to memory an eloquent form of
words expressive of profound gratitude for a Toast to your health ?

When Sheriff, will you take especial care that the Old Bailey
Luncheons maintain their ancient reputation ?

Will you give your whole mind to this important matter ?

Have you carefully studied before dinner the difference between
the Statutes in confinement and the Statutes at large ? If so explain
it fully.

Finally, will you promise and vow never to indulge in unseemly
jesting or boisterous merriment, as unfitting the character of a
present Alderman, a probable Sheriff, and a possible Lord Mayor ?

" Netting the Wtlie for Pike."—This was the title of a sketch
in a recent number of the Sporting and Dramatic News. At first
tight it sounded somewhat suggestive of certain proceedings at the
Grosvenor Gallery in connection with the Halle-Carrnassus difficulty,
but on closer inspection we found it was a piscatorial illustration._

vol. xcrv.