Punch (94.1888)

June 16, 1888.] PUNCH, OB THE LONDON CHARIVABI_277

TYPICAL MODERN DEVELOPMENTS.

A NOBLE LORD AND HIS BUTLER.

SHOET AND SHARP.

{Latest Style.)

Scene—Scotland Yard. Prominent Member of the" Clan-na- Gael
Conspiracy gang discovered interviewing Chief of Detective
■Department.

t^r°Si.ment Member. The top o' the mornin' to ye, Misther Inspec-

ri ■f% D0W ye didn't expect to see me at all P

thief 0f Department. On the contrary, Mr. O'Blazeb, I was
advised of your visit.

,,fro'>nnent Member. Ah! there now! Shure, ye know every-
5?.' Maybe, now, ye've got hold of my little programme P
thief (,f Department. Yes, I think I can give it you. {Takes
paper from pigeon-hole.) You were to blow up the Mansion House
yesterday, the Clock Tower to-day, Buckingham Palace to-morrow,
and the Bank the day after. That is correct. I think ?

Prominent Member. Bedad, Sorr, it is. But with your four fel-
iowb a stickin' to me like leeches wherever I go, it's divil a bit of it
w£an {'arry out' anyway. Ah! well, ye won't be knowing, I guess,
f ve got in tni8 little bag here {producing black hand-bag), and
nl • # meailing to do with it P
i ,W °f Department. Yes, that bag contains three pounds and a
??" ?* dynamite, and you have brought it here with the intention of
wowing up these premises. I think perhaps, under the oircum-
stanoes, it will be safer in my keeping. (Takes it.)
~fr-mr}lnent Member. Well, there now! Shure ye baffle me
entirely. There seems just nothing for me to do but to be getting
nome again.

i.hfhief »f Department. I think, perhaps, that is about the best
uning you can do. We '11 undertake to see you safe on board.
.fwinent Member. Ah! well, there, now, I'm very much
obleegfd toye. Good mornin', Sorr!

ITakes his leave, and is seen safe on board for Nero York, where
he arrives in due course, to "report progress."

AppBqPBiAXE.—Dr. Fleming is said to have succeeded in curing
roar-ng m il0mg> When he Tjsit8 lbe Irith Exhibition, the Band
aave arranged to salute him with the air of " Pory-no-More."

STRANGE CASE OF MEEJtlMANIA—COMPLETE CUKE.

Deab Me. Punch,

As Merrimania is nowadays not an uncommon ailment, I
think you will be interested to learn how I completely escaped from
it. My Doctor, on my last visit to him, found that I was in the
highest possible spirits—I laughed, made jokes, I was full of amusing
stories. He shook his head, and recommended an immediate course
of Exhibitions.

" I do not advise you to visit the Picture Galleries," he said, as he
felt my pulse, " as that would be almost too strong a remedy. The
sudden transition from great gaiety to the depths of melancholy,
which would assuredly follow, would be injurious. I think you might
safely try a little of the waste land at Earl's Court, mixed with a
weak solution of Olympia, and the Conservatory attached to the
Albert Hall. But, before following this prescription, I would suggest
vou should prepare yourself by attending an evening fete at the
Flower Market at Covent Garden. It will give you strength to bear
your subsequent treatment." ....... . .

To hear was to obey ; and that very night I found myself in the
midst of thousands and thousands of the loveliest flowers—lilies,
geraniums, roses, and pansies. On its merits, an extremely pretty

S'^he next morning, in higher spirits than ever, I visited the Italian
Exhibition. I am happy to say that the depressingly long passage
from the railway platform to the entrance, the immense gallery to the
ex-happy hunting-grounds of Buffalo Bill, and the considerable
walk through the building before I could get to the Concert Hall and
Theatre, did me a world of good. As I passed under seemingly
endless arches of artificial vines, I became duller and duller and
felt my face growing longer with every step, borne of the exhibits,
too, had a decidedly sobering effect, especially those of British manu-
facture. I passed through a marquee wherein some Minstrels in the
costume of Neapolitan fishermen, were giving rather a humorous
entertainment, and entered the saloon devoted to a wonderful per-
formance" of "Featelli Pbandi's celebrated Italian Burattini, or
Marionettes." There was a Btage, with a proscenium suggestive of
'' the Theatre Royal Back Drawing Room," and a full-sized orchestra.
The lever du rideau was "a gorgeous representation taken from the
Scriptures," called The Universal Deluge. It went with roars of
laughter from the "great procession of animals" down to the final
tableau depicting " the flight of the unfortunate victims, the raging
of the exterminating waters, and the roar and crash of the thunder,"
which again (to quote the programme) " proved a truly marvellous
scene." Some of the animals were rather feeble about the legs, and
many of the unfortunate victims preferred waltzing in the
exterminating waters with greater vigour than grace, to attempting
to escape. However, as a whole, the performance was fairly
amusing, although I have my doubts whether it would quite suit
the Polytechnic, even in these days, when that once popular insti-
tution is given over to the rulers of the Young Men's Christian
Association.

The " Magnificent Historico-Allegorical Fantastic Ballet, in fourteen
scenes, entitled Excelsior " was not so entertaining. It was long, and
(after the novelty of watching the puppets had passed off) wearisome.
However, it suggested to me that some of our pieces relying more
upon music, scenery, and mise en scene than on dialogue, might be
played with advantage by Marionettes. For instance, I should like
to see The Mikado dealt with in this way at Earl's Court. The
Pompadour too, so fall of interest to the antiquarian, would lend
itself admirably to this treatment; and again Masks and Faces
with its graceful gavotte (invented by Mr. D'Auban) could be
included in tbe repertoire. Possibly, in the cause of Art Mr. and
Mrs. Beerbohm Teee and Mrs. Bebnaed Beeee might b'e ind'uced
to lend their valuable assistance in carrying out this really excellent
proposal.

It appears from'Mr. Sims's expression of hearty approbation which is
printed on the programme, that the eminent melodramatist thinks
that these Marionettes "will draw all London." Of course he will
give up Wilson Baeeeti. and one of his melodramas would be
just the very thing for the Puppets.

Thoroughly depressed by the '/ Burattini," I left the Italian Exhi-
bition and asked for a railway ticket to South Kensington. " If you
wish to go to the Anglo-Danish," said the clerk, " you won't get in.
I may tell ypu. Sir, that it is closed because it is being reserved to-day
forthe female Freemasons who are taking tea with the Royal Family."

Warned m time, I a*ked for a. ticket for The Irish O'Lympia, and
completed my cure. Whatever the Exhibition may be in its future, it
is at this present moment a most melancholy spot. The grounds are a
mass of brick and mortar, which are gradually assuming the appear-
ance of completed houses and artificial ruins ; the exhibits, with the
exception of some bottles of whiskey, are spiritless. The musio of
the Connaught Regiment and th» Inniskilling Fusileers is not wildly
rolhcksome. Ten minutes of Olympia reduced me to tears, and 1
felt that my doctor s experiment had been successful.

Yours weepingly, A Wisee and a Sadbeb Man.

voi. xcrv.

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