Punch (94.1888)

June 9, 1888.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

265

"le grand prix.'

EAB^E AVES.

(Poetry by Popjoy.)
When I was a youngster, the finest of fun
Was to roam fields and meadows and lanes with my gun,
Knocking over cook-robins and potting tomtits,
Blowing thrushes and blackbirds and linnets to bits.
But at birds somewhat bigger I now have a slap,
Pigeon-shooting at blue-rocks let loose from a trap ;
'Tis a pastime wherein a resource may be found,
Sport in season at any time, all the year round.

Birds of passage, rare strangers that visit our shore,
Wheresoever I find them I pop at and floor,
Hang the Wild Birds Protection Act—that I defy I
At as many as come in my way I've a shy.

Golden Oriole, Ring Ouzel, and Hoopoe to bag
Are exploits and achievements I boast of and brag.
If a Short-toed Lark ever should light on his way
Close enough, dead he drops, to my choke-bore a prey.

0 St. James, at that Cormorant, come to thy Park,
Had I only a chance, 'twould have been a rare lark,
So to speak without making a bit of a bull,
With sure aim, on the perch to have taken a pull 1

And the grand Golden Eagle in Kent lately seen,
What a triumph to pepper—for sharpshooter keen.
Famous feat, from the clouds, crack, with rifle to
bring

Down the soaring, Bcarce visitant, splendid Bird-King 1

Obvious Erratum.— At a political meeting, Lord
George Hamilton delivered a statement of the amount
which the Government intended to expend annually in
strengthening the Navy:—

"This, he maintained, would keep us abreast of foreign
nations."

Has not a word been misreported in the above quota-
tion? "Abreast?" Surely what the noble Lord really
did say must have been " Ahead."

KECEEATION GONE WEONG.

{An Advertisement for the Censor.)
ARROWING ATTRACTION.

T

HE SUICIDAL BALLOON ASCENT.

THE SUICIDAL BALLOON ASCENT.—This unique and ghastly
feat already witnessed with creeping awe byupwards of 200,000
shuddering people, will be repeated (the Authorities in the meantime
not intervening) again to-morrow afternoon, when the Champion
Aeronaut will make his daring ascent hanging on to a wire suspended
from the balloon by his eyelids

THE SUICIDAL BALLOON "ASCENT, appealing as it does to
the most brutal, degraded, and savage instincts of a large
portion of the sight-seeing classes of the British Public, is considered
a fitting and attractive item in the programme of a great popular

entertainment. _

HE SUICIDAL BALLOON ASCENT presents the unquestion-
able advantage of placing the life of the performer in absolute
and terrible jeopardy,

THE SUICIDAL BALLOON ASCENT may furnish the on-
_ looking public at any moment with the spectacle of an in-

describably appalling and horrible death,

T
T

HE SUICIDAL BALLOON ASCENT is made without the
slightest provision for any misadventure or accident.

HE SUICIDALTbTLLOON ASCENT involves the performer,
who loses nerve for a single moment, in utter destruction.

THE SUICIDAL BALLOON ASCENT is the result of the com-
petition of poor creatures anxious to create a sensation at any
risk, and enabled to do it through the absence of any paternal legisla-
tion protecting them from the consequences of their headlong temerity

THE SUICIDAL BALLOON ASCENT will probably, if allowed
to continue with impunity, terminate in the dashing to pieces,
under circumstances too hideous to contemplate, of a living human
being._____

T~HE SUICIDAL BALLOON ASCENT should, therefore, engage
the attention of the Home Secretary- and the sooner the better.

"GOOD OLD GRACE I"
[Playing for the Gentlemen against the Australians last wet-k, Mr. "W. G.
Gbace scored an innings of 165 runs. Later in the week the Players of
England beat the Aubtralians by 10 wickets.]

Bravo, W. G. I 'Tis a very prompt answer

To Punch's appeal of last week.
One hundred and sixty-five runs! That's the plan, Sir I

The moral is not far to seek.
You've scored oil of Turner and Ferris like winking,

At Punch's especial desire ; _
And now there should be no more funking or shrinking,

Or failing in coolness or fire.
When that pair of smart Cornstalks let fly at our stumps,

As well they know how to let fly,
There is not the least need to be down in the dumps ;

Think of Grace, boys, and never say die !
Before Grace had met them, and spanked them all round,

They really appeared bad to beat; [bound
But the Players—who whopped them—were cheered I '11 be

By the thought of that Grace after meet!

A New Inspiration.—One of the Spectator's poets, with no sig-
nature, in the number for May 26, wrote "The steadiest angel is a
woman's love." Now we know there are good angels and bad angels,
but of the latter class the poet is not speaking. Among the good
angels are there then some who are rather unsteady or shaky ? This
poet probably knows; but the idea of one angel being steadier than
another does open out a wide range of possibilities which might
account for a good many erratic movements. Of course all euch
beings are invisible to ordinary mortals, and only seen by the Spec-
tator and his Inspired Poet._

A Long Pare-well.

Madame Niisson has just commenced bidding " farewell,"

But when she will finish c ne cannot quite tell.

For " parting," as Shakspeare pays, is " such sweet sorrow "

(And so says the lender to one who would borrow),

That Nilsson may say it again and again,

And then may decide (be it so) to remain.

Continue to sing while you can,—then, ma bdte,

"One bumper at parting "—one brilliant farewell.

vol. xciv. A A