Punch (94.1888)

Makch 24, 1888.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 133

THE COMING RACE.—A PROPHETIC VISION OF 1988.

"SLAYES OF THE SING."
Old Style.

Yestebday the long-expected mill between Joe Brown and Jack
bitiTH came oft before about five thousand patrons of the Noble Art.
Most of the House of Peers and all the House of Commons were pre-
sent, and. there was a good sprinkling from the two Universities of
Oxiord and Cambridge, the Bar, the Army, the Navy, and the
lowest slums. In another part of our paper we have described the
-Battle in detail, but here it will suffice to jot down the first round
and the last.

Hound 1.—Both men came up smiling. Joe struck out well with
his left, and landed upon Jack's right peeper, which immediately
assumed rainbow colours. Upon this Smith retorted with his right
on the snuff-box, breaking the bone, and producing a fine flow of
the ruby. Smart countering following, until Joe went down from a
sledge-hammer blow from Jack. First blood and fall to Smith.

Hound Last.—Both men were groggy and had to be placed face
to face. It was unsafe to say which was which or who was who,
as their features were so mixed that it was impossible to distinguish
them. In spite of this they still struck out, Jack catching J oe a
blow on the side of his head, which severed Ms remaining ear. This
seemed to rouse Joe, who made one last effort, crushing Jack's chest
in, and turning his eyes into pease-pudding. This was too much for
Jack, who dropped senseless, and could not be recovered.

It will be seen from the above that both men suffered severely.
The fight is considered one of the best on record.

New Style.

Yesterday the long-expected encounter between Joseph Beown,
Esq., and Mr. Zachabiah Smith took place in the presence of six
specially appointed representatives of the sporting world. Amongst
those who would have liked to have been present, had they not been
prevented by engagements elsewhere, were the proprietors of many of
the leading Metropolitan Music-halls. It is an open secret that both
the gallant gentlemen who so nobly fought yesterday are in great
request and can pick their engagements. Mr. Joseph who had just
come from a dance, was in evening dress, while Mr. Brown wore a
fashionably-cut shooting suit. After smoking some cigarettes, sip-
ping their coffee, and glancing through the papers, the opponents pre-
pared for the encounter, divesting themselves of their upper clothing.
The battle was of so much interest, that we give it in extenso.

Hound 1.—Both gentlemen advanced smiling. On seeing his
opponent's clenched fist, Mr. Beown retired, and was followed round
the ring. Wearying of this manoeuvre he raised his right arm as if
to give a blow, when Mr. Smith went under,

Hound 2.—Both rather out of breath from their late exertions.
Mr. Smith touched Mr. Bbown on the shoulder, upon which the
last called out, " Yes, Zachaeiah, do you want me?" To whioh
Mr. Smith answered, "No, Joseph, the touch was accidental." Mr.
Smith raised his fist threateningly when Mr. Beown went under.

Hounds 3 to 36.—These took some time. There was nothing par-
ticular in any of them, save in Bound 43, when Mr. Smith slipped
and fell, injuring his nose. First blood to Mr. Bbown.

Hound Last.—The two men came up yawning. Mr. Smith was

wearing a piece of sticking-plaster on his nose, and Mr. Brown had
a piece of rag round his wounded little finger. Upon an appeal from
the bystanders the battle was declared drawn, and the combatants
resumed their clothing and fraternised.

It will be seen from the account that both men suffered severely.
The fight is considered one of the best on record.

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

I've nothing to say about books this week. I've gone from cover
to cover, and drawn blank. But I think I am on the right soent
now, having just taken_ up The Prima Donna, by Sutherland
Edwabds. More of this anon. Its appearance opportunely—or
operatunely — anticipates the coming Season of Drtjriolantjs
Opkbatictjs.

Most newspapers have an " Agony Column," and 'the Illustrated
London News now has a " Path" Column"—a double Payn Column
—every week. In the latest Payn Column, "J. P.," alluding to
the recent story of the Sham Nuns in France, declares that the
dramatic possibilities of the tale "make the poor British novelist's
mouth water." Now, J. P. is not by any means a "poor British
novelist;" but I think I see through him in this case as clearly
as if he were a Payn of glass, and to save him the trouble of
commencing a plot with this material, I beg to inform him that
the story has already been done. It occurs as one of the many
incidents in a French novel which I read within the last three years,
but what its name was, or whether it was written by Boisgobey.
Montepin, Maupassant, or some other free-and-easy romancist, I
cannot at this moment remember. In this novel the nuns were
mostly sham ones, they had some lambs among them to be fleeced,
and their director, the Abbe somebody, was no clergyman at all,
but a swindler who ultimately fell into the hands of the Police. I
am inclined to think it was one of Boisgobey's, but at all events it
has been done. However, never mind, Mr. James Payn, keep up
your "high spirits." After all. it's only one "holiday task" the
less, says the Baeon be Book Woems.

A GOLDEN EGG AGAIN.
Anotheb Great Auk's Egg has turned up, been put up to Aukshun,
and knocked down again, without being smashed, fortunately, frail
a curiosity as it was to come under the hammer. Mr. Stevens, of
King Street, Covent Garden, lately "sold a very fine egg of the
Great Auk for £225." It came into the possession of its late owner
in 1851, who then bought it for £18. His name was Wise, and he
was not only so called, but was so. This one egg was ultimately taken
to a good market, and was sold for the sum abovementioned. We hope
it has reached its destination in safety. An accident might happen
from mere Aukwardness. Some of us will be wishing that we had a
private Auk, of a sporting turn, who would lay heavily occasionally.
We wouldn't kill him to see how the trick was done.

Conversion with Resignation.—An affliction we have to endure
in this Exetwquered state of existence.

VOL. XCTV.

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