Punch (94.1888)

Febeuary is, 1888.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

83

UNEMPLOYED !

The Plaint of a Pretty Girl.
[A. writer on Fashions ""says that Bridesmaids
are to be abolished.]

Geeat Hymen I The Bridesmaid abolished ?

Then Civilisation's played out]
All is up with the pretty and polished ;

Make way for Old Maids and the Gout!
If Cupid's delectable cultus

Is verily thus on the wane,
What use for the saps to insult us _

With talk of the triumphs of Brain i
Out on Art—though from far Yokohama,
On Dress, though from Paris it come I
If a Pretty Girl's part in the drama

Of Life is cut out, they 're all hum I _
'Tother day it was weddings were stopping ;

At least so the quill-drivers cried.
As rare as blue roBes was " popping,

As scarce as the Dodo a Bride.
But oh! if a Girl did not marry,

A Bridesmaid perchance she might he,
A bridal bouquet have to carry,

Be armed by some bachelor he,
Make one of the beautiful bevy

Who flocked round the altar in white:
But this last piece of news is so heavy '

It darkens our last gleam of light.
Adieu to the Church and the Minster!

I must make up my mind, I'm afraid
To live a disconsolate spinster.
And finish a dowdy Old Maid
The Bridesmaid abolished ? Then banish

Bright eye, ruddy lip, slender waist!
Let feminine vanity vanish—

ta8teTbUtt0ned gl0VeB' and good
For what is the use of such matters,
It Hymen is out of the hunt ?
\Ken,,r10 are a11 mad as hatters,

lhe altar refuse to confront?
11 ™e'World, in a mood suicidal,

With honeymoons utterly cloyed,
Kesolves to abolish the Bridal,
And leaves Pretty Girls " Unemployed " }

AN IMPERIAL CATECHISM.

Intended for the use of the Myttified Colonist,

Q. There has been in a recent number
of the limes, some stir created by a refer-
ence to the granting by Hek Majesty of a
charter to the Organising Committee of the
' Imperial Institute." In the article dealing
with the subject, it was stated that the out-
come of the enterprise was held to be " the
knitting more closely the ties which unite
the various parts of the Empire, and the
promoting its industrial and commercial in-
dustry ! » Can you tell me what steps the
aforesaid Organising Committee have taken
to give practical effect to this desirable
result ?

-4. They have collected a good dale of
money, held several enterprising meetings,
cleared a site at South Kensington on which
they are about to erect a red brick building,
with a large tower and rooms intended for
the reception of raw and other Colonial
produce, and passed some general resolutions
°t a happy and hopeful, if of an airy
character.

Q. Quite bo. Then you do not think,
though the* Organising Committee are in
Process of getting a Charter granted to the

Imperial Institute," that they have any
very definite idea of what sort of an under-
taking they are endeavouring to set upon
its legs.

-4- No, I do not. I believe they entertain
some vague fancy that now and then an
occasional intending emigrant or Colonist

RESPONSIBILITY."

Grandmamma-{quoting last School Report). "' Idle !-Insubordinate !-Playtng Truant ! '
Oh, Herbert! I was shocked to hear this! And your Papa and Mamma, how dis-
tressed they must have been !—and you 1heir only child too ! when you ought,
on that account, to be all the more a comfort to them,

Herbert. "Ok yes, Gran'ma', 's all very fine ! But it s rather rough on a Fel-
low to have to be so jolly good for a lot of bro ers an SlS ers he hasn t got

happening to be in London, will go down to South Kensington +
specting some specimen of timber, corn, wool, or ^ S^^t^J^nA^l
country, and will be much edified by his visit. ^uure, not produced by the home

Q. And do you think that this vague fancy,' if realised will lo~»„i,r „™*~-w0 +n

A. No. Honestly, I cannot say that I think it will
«„,,2;iWUt thflIe iS aliU8ionmatde^ "?Pecial Exhibitions," which will be held at the Institute
annually, with a reference to the fact that " thev oueht to hn ™nrU £ ™v fnr them-
it! f7n the money taken at the doors As ^'publwiU\£dS^i£ £ tfc a
few second-hand Colonial Maps and products, can you conceive what sort of an entertainment
the Committee have m their eye to propose, with a view to drawing a crowded audience ?