Punch (94.1888)

96

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [Febbuaet 25, 1888.

Might have judiciously stayed away, as Hartington did. But
there he was, and must needs come to assistance of his friends, the
victims of Parnell's successful strategy. This brought down upon
him a personage more wrathful even than Don Diego Picton.
Business before House precisely of that pettifogging character to

stir the lowest depths
of G. 0. M.'s nature.
Quite dangerous to sit
near him as discussion
went on. Leaned ex-
citedly over John Mor-
in to talk to Charles
Russell. Persistently
poked massive chest of
Harcourt on other
side, as he laid down
the law. Once, when
his head turned other
way, Harcourt tried
to escape under pre-
tence of returning bor-
rowed volume of Han-
sard. G. 0. M. not to
be done that way.
Turned round with
lightning speed, seized
Bradlaugh " wants to know." coat-tails of retreating

statesman, pulled him
back on bench. Finally rose to pulverise Henky James. What
a glorious ten minutes he had; his eyes flashing fire, his figure
trembling with indignation, his voice breaking through the toils of
weakness, and. his right hand passionately smiting the palm of the
left, as if he had literally got his old colleague in Chancery, and was
making the most of the opportunity. Paenell looked on with
mingled admiration and disappointment.

" Picton's very well," he said,_"but this should have been our
Don Diego." Business done.—Privilege Debate.

Tuesday.—Petes O'Brien, yesterday a hero, to-day a disregarded
nonentity. If Members accidentally catch hia eye, they wonder why
he is not in prison and out of the way.

" I think," said Wilfeid Lawson to Joseph Gillis, " there was
a little too muoh fuss about it. As Balfour says, when an Irish
Member is to be arrested what matter whether it happens to be
Gilhooly or O'Brien ? In these days, when we are hardly rid of
the Shaxspeare-Bacon controversy, it is a little hard to have a
Gilhooly-O'Beien debate."

"I don't know much about Shae:speabe," said Joey B,, with
engaging frankness; "but as to bacon I'm oh revore, as they say
at Parry. I don't see what it's got to do with the arrest of
O'Brien."

Teevelyan resumed debate on Address ; brought up Saunderson,
who had real good time for space of an hour. Wasn't a head peeped
out anywhere from beneath the tents of the enemy opposite, but—
Whirroo!—the Colonel's shillelagh came down on it. Gladstone
dancing mad on Front Opposition Bench. Parnellites worked up to
condition that made them capable of something like a howl; faint
echo of habitude before days of regeneration, but still encouraging
and hopeful for the future. T. W. Russell attempted to give
serious aspect to conversation by delivering carefully prepared
address, very good of its sort; smote the Parnellites hip and thigh,
but occasionally turned round and gave a slight rap at Government.

" Russell," said David Plunket, whom every one is glad to see
back in renewed health, " reminds one of a phrase they have in the
North of England. When a man has had a drop too much and goes
rolling home, they say he ' has business on both sides of the road.'
Russell, staggering along under the weight of his argument and his
advocacy, may be said to have business on both sides of the House."

Business done.—More debate on Paenell's Amendment to Address.

Ash Wednesday, so didn't meet till Two o'Clock, hours of sitting
being thus reduced to four. Ellis (J. E.) and King-Haeman appro-
priated between them two hours and. a half.

" A little long, weren't you ? " Akees-Douglas hinted.

"Longer than usual, perhaps," said King-Harman. "But now
I'm going to have a salary, I shall have to show I earn it."

Herbert Gladstone agreeably astonished House by capital speech,
admirably delivered. Been shut up during recent years on Treasury
Bench, but has practised in the country, and suddenly blossomed
into experienced debater. Something to say, and said it well, with
free gestures and fine voice. Young Stafford Northcote, passing
out behind Speaker's Chair, paused and stared in amazement. He
and Herbert had started Parliamentary life together. Their maiden
speeches delivered on same evening from opposite sides of House,
with distinguished and delighted fathers, sponge in hand, ready to
give each a knee after the final round.

"And now," said young Nobthcote, "he's commanding the

listening Senate, and I'm not even a Surveyor-General of the
Ordnance." Business done.—More debate on Address.

Thursday.—O'Brien just finished his'three months of Balfoue at
Tullamore. To-night Balfour has
hour and 'forty minutes of O'Brien at
Westminster. Difficult to say which
the harder to bear. O'Brien in tre-
mendous force. At last
"face to face" with his
gaoler; the pent-up agony
and indignation of three
months rushed downward
like a, cataract; boiling with
passion ; always seeming on
verge of being carried away
by its force; always pulled
np in time, lowered his voice
to whisper, dropped his
clenched fist,
and turned
aside with bIow
speech to some
fresh point.
"Acting," the
Attohney-
Genebal hint-
ed it was. If
so, or anyhow,
it was superb.
Arthur Bal-
foue made
Thinking of the Bo'sun. gallant effort

way through the torrent, but, as Joseph Gillis observed, the smile
was rather gashly." House, with its appetite whetted, wanted the
finishing touch given to the drama by Balfour rising to reply.
But, on the whole, he thought he would wait, and crowded assembly
broke up.

Harcouet affected almost to tears. " Come, Gorst,"
he said to the Under-Secretary for India, sitting on
the Treasury Bench studying new Rules of Procedure
just out, " you must admit that that was a fine touch
in the last sentence, where he lifted up his voice,
and blessed Baxfour and his policy."

" Yes," said Gorst. " Reminds me of one
of _ Marryat's stories — Peter Simple, I
think ; or is it Percival Kean ? Anyhow,
there is an angry but converted Bo'sun in
the piece. Used to swear terribly. Seeing
the error of his ways, now, when he wants
to adjure anyone who has offended him, he
always begins with ' Bless your lovely eyes,'
and goes on to wish him every happiness.
Somehow thought of the Bo'sun when, just
now, O'Beien, with uplifted hand, and
through clenched teeth, blessed our brave
Balfour."

Business done.—Debate on Address.

Friday.—Bubble of peaceful Session burst to-
night. Exploded under feet of Goschen nearly
shattered him. A few tendencies in that direction
all through the evening. When G. 0. M. sat down
after speech two hours long, Irish Members, leaping
to their feet, stormed around him in jubilant en-
thusiasm. Seemed enough for one night. But
when he came back after dinner, there was another „ _ _ _
enthusiastic reception. Ten minutes later came the r ■ ; ^„
news of Liberal victory at Southwark, _ and this laugaei-
time the whole Opposition were on their feet, cheering, waving
hats, and clapping hands.

G. P. Puller laughed to see such fun, and Goschen wished he
was over the moon.

Business done.—Looks as if the Government's was.

The Bethell Case.—Poor little child of Tee-poo, alias Bethell 1
Mr. Justice Sterling decided against its claims, which somehow
doesn't sound like sterling justice. Had it come before three Judges
who had taken the same view, there might have been good ground
for appeal on account of ecclesiastical bias on the part of the Judges
who had been unanimous against a " Little Bethell"—nemine
dissentitnte, i.e., not one of them being a dissenter. As it is, it
seems rather hard on the Baralong Bride and baby.

"Jewel's Apology."—Paste.

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