DOI Heft:
January 12, 1889
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17687#0023
January 12, 1889.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
13
THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE LEFT UNSAID.
“You can’t go Home when it’s raining like this. You’d better stay
and have Dinner with us !”—“Oh, it \s not quite so Bad as that!”
A PROTEST.
[There is talk in Germany of a Crusade against Socks and
Stockings, as unhealthy, and a hindrance to marching.]
Abolish Stockings,—and at Santa Claus’ time ?—
The proposition really is too shocking.
Think what we ’ll lose in prettiness and pastime
If we discard the stocking !
Fancy how much Society owes to hose,
Soft-woven, trimly drawn with handsome “clocking.”
No, they are trade’s worst friends, and taste’s worst foes,
Who rob us of the stocking.
Leighton himself, though he paints feet—such loves !—
In beauteous bareness, might esteem this mocking ;
Is’t not proposed now to divide, like gloves,
The five-toed Stocking ?
Abolish it ? Society to its base
At such a fundamental change seems rocking,
A has les has ! Nay. there ’s at least one race
Won’t sacrifice the Stocking.
The Teuton is a Titan in his way,
But his rough tastes for Bismarck, bullying, “ hock ’ ’ -ing
Don’t qualify him in his bearish play
To supersede the Stocking.
No, pretty girl and has-hleus, artists, lovers,
In the defence of hosen will come flocking.
They will not lose that daintiest of foot covers—
The sex’s Silken Stocking.
“ Myles Ahead of ’em All ! ”—In spite of fog, frost,
Bailway Commissions, and troubles, somebody’s railway
lines do fall in pleasant places at the commencement of the
year ; and in the L. and S.E. district we read of “Nods
and hecks and wreathed Sir Myles.” Who is to be to-
morrow Knight ? And what is the L. C. & D. Chairman
to be made ? A Baronet, nothing less.
“Follow the Flag!”
Quite so, dear Rdsebery ; ’tis a glorious rag ;
Enthusiasm, though, must stand expense.
If hearts determine to defend the flag,
Exchequers must not flag in its defence.
DRILL AND DROLLERY.
In Infantry Drill, as Revised hy Her Majesty's Command, 1889,
just published, there is much new and interesting matter. According
to the Army Order introducing the work, signed by “ Wolseley,
A.G., hy command of His Royal Highness the Commander-in-
Chiefj” the Regulations now promulgated “are based on the
principle of demanding great exactitude in the simplified movements
still retained for drill, while conceding the utmost latitude to all
Commanders, of however small a unit, in manoeuvre. The first
must he carried out literally, the second must he observed in the
spirit more than the letter.” As to the “ simplified movements
still retained for drill,” they seem to be quite as numerous as ever
they were, and, in spite of their “ simplicity,” appear to be just as
likely to puzzle the sucking subaltern in the present and the future
as they were wont to do in the past. The “ utmost latitude ” matter,
however, is something new, and introduces a novel principle into
army organisation.
Under the heading of “Manoeuvres,” the compilers of the new
book have a great deal to say on the subject of tactics, and explain
everything to Tommy Atkins, most carefully. For instance, a sentry
has no less than fourteen duties assigned to him, which are set forth
at length. One of them is suggestive of the order given to the
Jounger members of a family when permitted to ‘ ‘ come down to
essert;” it runs as follows“ His duty is to see and listen,
without being seen or heard ; and to report the result of his observa-
tions,”. the latter part, no doubt (in the case of infantry) being added
by an inquisitive nurse.
Another “duty” is to learn “the names of villages, rivers,
&c.., in view; ana the places to which roads and railways lead,”
which is rather suggestive of a School Board standard in
Geography. The Authorities seem to fear that the sentry may
become too polite and amiable (which, of course, would be unpro-
fessional, as. things military are never civil), and consequently
publish for his guidance the rule, “ he is is to pay no compliments, nor
allow anyone to distract his attention.” The last regulation (which
amply proves that the idea of ‘.‘conceding the utmost latitude” to
the smallest unit is to he carried out with the greatest possible
generosity) runs as follows: — “If attacked, he should defend himself
by firing or using his bayonet, as circumstances may require.”
Perhaps this “utmost latitude ” has been carried rather too far in
the compilation of the book itself. In dealing with “Flags of
Truce” (page 292;, the authors suggest “ that a smart officer, con-
versant with the enemy’s language, and of a cheerful disposition,
should be selected.” Surely this should have been amplified by
showing how the officer should be smart, linguistic, and cheerful.
To supply the omission, we give a few regulations, that can be
incorporated in the next edition.
Duties of Officers Carrying Flags of Truce.
1. On reaching the enemy’s lines, he shall take ten paces to his
front, laugh heartily, to denote that he is of a cheerful disposition,
and observe, Bong jaw, jer swee onchawntay cler voo vaw, vooley
voo prenny ung drink ?
2. He then may ask a riddle, and, if possible, should stand upon
his head, or perform some other feat of skill calculated to impress
the enemy with a sense of his liveliness.
3. If brought before the enemy’s Commander-in-Chief, he should
approach him by the side (or closing) step, and thump him suddenly
on his hack when his attention is attracted in another direction.
4. He should, when ordered for instant execution, if possible,
escape, with the assistance of the paraphernalia of the vanishing lady
illusion—a trick with which he should have made himself thoroughly
familiar before entering upon his hazardous undertaking.
The compilers themselves seem to he of a “ cheerful disposition,”
as they suggest to the officer bearing the flag of truce, and his
trumpeter, that ‘ ‘ they should not retire until satisfied, after being
persistently fired at, that they have been seen by the enemy,
and that he will not receive them.” This touch of waggery
proves the whole world (inclusive of “George, Ranger,” and
“ Wolseley ”) kin!
To sum up. Infantry Drill will he found as amusing in. times
of peace as it is to be hoped it will prove as valuable. in the
hour of war. As the Adjutant-General and His Royal Highness
the Commander-in-Chief would no doubt humorously observe,
as a proof of their “ cheerful disposition,” “ It is a Red Book that
should he read! ”
VOL. xcvi.
c
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
13
THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE LEFT UNSAID.
“You can’t go Home when it’s raining like this. You’d better stay
and have Dinner with us !”—“Oh, it \s not quite so Bad as that!”
A PROTEST.
[There is talk in Germany of a Crusade against Socks and
Stockings, as unhealthy, and a hindrance to marching.]
Abolish Stockings,—and at Santa Claus’ time ?—
The proposition really is too shocking.
Think what we ’ll lose in prettiness and pastime
If we discard the stocking !
Fancy how much Society owes to hose,
Soft-woven, trimly drawn with handsome “clocking.”
No, they are trade’s worst friends, and taste’s worst foes,
Who rob us of the stocking.
Leighton himself, though he paints feet—such loves !—
In beauteous bareness, might esteem this mocking ;
Is’t not proposed now to divide, like gloves,
The five-toed Stocking ?
Abolish it ? Society to its base
At such a fundamental change seems rocking,
A has les has ! Nay. there ’s at least one race
Won’t sacrifice the Stocking.
The Teuton is a Titan in his way,
But his rough tastes for Bismarck, bullying, “ hock ’ ’ -ing
Don’t qualify him in his bearish play
To supersede the Stocking.
No, pretty girl and has-hleus, artists, lovers,
In the defence of hosen will come flocking.
They will not lose that daintiest of foot covers—
The sex’s Silken Stocking.
“ Myles Ahead of ’em All ! ”—In spite of fog, frost,
Bailway Commissions, and troubles, somebody’s railway
lines do fall in pleasant places at the commencement of the
year ; and in the L. and S.E. district we read of “Nods
and hecks and wreathed Sir Myles.” Who is to be to-
morrow Knight ? And what is the L. C. & D. Chairman
to be made ? A Baronet, nothing less.
“Follow the Flag!”
Quite so, dear Rdsebery ; ’tis a glorious rag ;
Enthusiasm, though, must stand expense.
If hearts determine to defend the flag,
Exchequers must not flag in its defence.
DRILL AND DROLLERY.
In Infantry Drill, as Revised hy Her Majesty's Command, 1889,
just published, there is much new and interesting matter. According
to the Army Order introducing the work, signed by “ Wolseley,
A.G., hy command of His Royal Highness the Commander-in-
Chiefj” the Regulations now promulgated “are based on the
principle of demanding great exactitude in the simplified movements
still retained for drill, while conceding the utmost latitude to all
Commanders, of however small a unit, in manoeuvre. The first
must he carried out literally, the second must he observed in the
spirit more than the letter.” As to the “ simplified movements
still retained for drill,” they seem to be quite as numerous as ever
they were, and, in spite of their “ simplicity,” appear to be just as
likely to puzzle the sucking subaltern in the present and the future
as they were wont to do in the past. The “ utmost latitude ” matter,
however, is something new, and introduces a novel principle into
army organisation.
Under the heading of “Manoeuvres,” the compilers of the new
book have a great deal to say on the subject of tactics, and explain
everything to Tommy Atkins, most carefully. For instance, a sentry
has no less than fourteen duties assigned to him, which are set forth
at length. One of them is suggestive of the order given to the
Jounger members of a family when permitted to ‘ ‘ come down to
essert;” it runs as follows“ His duty is to see and listen,
without being seen or heard ; and to report the result of his observa-
tions,”. the latter part, no doubt (in the case of infantry) being added
by an inquisitive nurse.
Another “duty” is to learn “the names of villages, rivers,
&c.., in view; ana the places to which roads and railways lead,”
which is rather suggestive of a School Board standard in
Geography. The Authorities seem to fear that the sentry may
become too polite and amiable (which, of course, would be unpro-
fessional, as. things military are never civil), and consequently
publish for his guidance the rule, “ he is is to pay no compliments, nor
allow anyone to distract his attention.” The last regulation (which
amply proves that the idea of ‘.‘conceding the utmost latitude” to
the smallest unit is to he carried out with the greatest possible
generosity) runs as follows: — “If attacked, he should defend himself
by firing or using his bayonet, as circumstances may require.”
Perhaps this “utmost latitude ” has been carried rather too far in
the compilation of the book itself. In dealing with “Flags of
Truce” (page 292;, the authors suggest “ that a smart officer, con-
versant with the enemy’s language, and of a cheerful disposition,
should be selected.” Surely this should have been amplified by
showing how the officer should be smart, linguistic, and cheerful.
To supply the omission, we give a few regulations, that can be
incorporated in the next edition.
Duties of Officers Carrying Flags of Truce.
1. On reaching the enemy’s lines, he shall take ten paces to his
front, laugh heartily, to denote that he is of a cheerful disposition,
and observe, Bong jaw, jer swee onchawntay cler voo vaw, vooley
voo prenny ung drink ?
2. He then may ask a riddle, and, if possible, should stand upon
his head, or perform some other feat of skill calculated to impress
the enemy with a sense of his liveliness.
3. If brought before the enemy’s Commander-in-Chief, he should
approach him by the side (or closing) step, and thump him suddenly
on his hack when his attention is attracted in another direction.
4. He should, when ordered for instant execution, if possible,
escape, with the assistance of the paraphernalia of the vanishing lady
illusion—a trick with which he should have made himself thoroughly
familiar before entering upon his hazardous undertaking.
The compilers themselves seem to he of a “ cheerful disposition,”
as they suggest to the officer bearing the flag of truce, and his
trumpeter, that ‘ ‘ they should not retire until satisfied, after being
persistently fired at, that they have been seen by the enemy,
and that he will not receive them.” This touch of waggery
proves the whole world (inclusive of “George, Ranger,” and
“ Wolseley ”) kin!
To sum up. Infantry Drill will he found as amusing in. times
of peace as it is to be hoped it will prove as valuable. in the
hour of war. As the Adjutant-General and His Royal Highness
the Commander-in-Chief would no doubt humorously observe,
as a proof of their “ cheerful disposition,” “ It is a Red Book that
should he read! ”
VOL. xcvi.
c