DOI Heft:
April 20, 1889
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17687#0191
April 20, 1889.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 181
PLAY-TIME.
Two Italian Operas in London next season. “De deux ‘shows,’
—une,”—as a rule ; we wish success to both. Augustus Aquarius
Blanch ardius,—he will take these titles if he has anything to do
with the Aqua-
rium offishially,
and with Blanch-
ard’s (not Panto-
mime Blanch-
ard) Restaurant,
—Druriolanus,
CoUNTI-CoUNCIL -
larius, leads the
way at Covent
Garden ; and in
July, when Mac-
beth has been slain
for the last time,
M. Mayer, the
indefatigable im-
presario of the
French Company
at the Royalty
Theatre, is to pro-
duce Yerdi’s Otello at the Lyceum, with two hundred orchestra and
chorus, all alive 0 ! from La Scala. M. Victor Maurel is to be the
immaurel Iago. As any impresario should have a strong back to
carry all this on his shoulders, we hope Mr. Mayer is strongly
backed, as it is “ Money makes the Mayer to go.”
MR. PUNCH'S MODEL MUSIC-HALL SONGS.
No. II.—The Topical-Political.
In most respects, no doubt, the present example can boast no
superiority to ditties in the same style now commanding the ear
of the Public. One merit, however, its author does claim for it.
Though it deals with most of the burning questions of the hour, it
can be sung anywhere with absolute security. This is due to a
simple but ingenious method by which the political sentiment has
been arranged on the reversible principle. A little alteration here
and there will put the singer in close touch with an audience of almost
any shade of politics. Should it happen that the title has been
already anticipated, Mr. Punch begs to explain that the remainder
of this sparkling composition is entirely original; any similarity with
previous works must be put down entirely to “ literary coincidence.”
Whether the title is new or not, it is a very nice one, viz :—
BETWEEN YOU AND ME—AND THE POST!
(To be sung in a raucous voice, and with a confidential air.)
I ’ve dropped in to whisper some secrets I ’ve heard.
Between you and me and the Post!
Picked up on the wing by a ’cute little bird.
We are gentlemen ’ere—so the caution’s absurd,
Still, you ’ll please to remember that every word
Is between you and me and the Post!
Chorus (to which the Singer should dance).
Between you and me and the Post! An ’int is sufficient at most.
I ’d very much rarther this didn’t go farther, than ’tween you and
me and the Post!
At Lord Sorlsbury’s table there’s sech a to-do.
Between you and me and the Post!
When he first ketches sight of his dinner menoo,
And sees he’s set down to good old Irish stoo—
Which he’s sick of by this time—now, tell me, ain’t you ?
Between you and me and the Post!
(This happy and pointed allusion to the Irish Question is sure to
provoke loud laughter from an audience of Radical sympathies.
For Unionists, the words “Lord Sorlsbury’s” can be altered
by our patent reversible method into “ the G. 0. M.’s,” without
at all impairing the satire.) Chorus, as before.
The G. 0. M.’s hiding a card up his sleeve.
Between you and me and the Post!
Any ground he has lost he is going to retrieve,
And what his little game is, he ’ll let us perceive,
And he ’ll pip the whole lot of ’em, so I believe,
Between you and me and the Post! (Chorus.)
(The hit will be made quite as palpably for the other side by substitu-
ting “ Lord Sorlsbury’s,” fyc., at the beginning of the first line,
should the majority of the audience be found to hold Conservative
views.)
Balfour isn’t touched by a patriot’s woes.
Between you and me and the Post!
The ’ero O’Brien in prison he throws.
But the martyr sits there with his thumb to his nose,
For he’s got back the principal part of his close,
\M.-H. rhyme for “ clothes.”
Between you and me and the Post! (Chorus.)
(This verse will need no alteration, being delicately adjusted to either
extreme. A pause should always be allowed after every proper
name for cheers, hisses, and counter-cheers.
Little Randolph won’t long be left out in the cold.
Between you and me and the Post!
If they ’ll let him inside the Conservative fold,
He has promised no longer he ’ll swagger and scold,
But to be a good boy, and to do as he’s told,
Between you and me and the Post! (Chorus.)
(The mere mention of Lord Randolph’s name is sufficient to ensure
the success of any song.)
Joey Chamberlain’s orchid’s a bit overblown,
Between you and me and the Post!
(This is rather subtle, perhaps, but an M.-H. audience will see a joke
in it somewhere, and laugh.)
’Ow to square a Round Table I’m sure he has shown.
(Same observation applies here.)
But of late he ’s been leaving his old friends alone,
And I fancy he’s grinding an axe of his own,
Between you and me and the Post! (Chorus.)
(We now pass on to Topics of the Day, which we treat in a light but
trenchant fashion.)
Boulanger to Brussels has jest done a guy :
Between you and me and the Post!
And all his supporters are wondering why.
But Boulanger ’s as artful a bird as he’s shy—
I’ve a notion he ’ll turn up agen by and by,
Between you and me and the Post! (Chorus.)
From some letters I’ve read I am getting to doubt,
Between you and me ana the Post!
Whether Chivalry isn’t a fashion gone out;
For they say with the Ladies each man is a lout.
But I don’t think they know what they ’re torking about,
Between you and me and the Post! (Chorus.)
Any drink on a Sunday will soon be denied,
Between you and me and the Post!
Unless you are out on a walk or a ride.
But I year there ’s a method of getting supplied,
If you just tell the barman it’s all “ bona fide”—
Between you and me and the Post! (Chorus.)
On the noo County Councils they’ve too many nobs,
Between you and me and the Post !
For the Swells stick together, and sneer at the mobs ;
And it’s always the rich man the poor one who robs.
We shall ’ave the old business—all jabber and jobs !
Between you and me and the Post! (Chorus.)
There ’s a new rule for ladies presented at Court,
Between you and me and the Post!
High necks are allowed, so no colds will be cort.
But I went to the Droring-Room lately, and thort
Some old wimmen had dressed quite as low as they ort!
Between you and me and the Post! (Chorus.)
By fussy Alarmists we ’re too much annoyed,
Between you and me and the Post!
If we don’t want our neighbours to think we ’re afroid,
\_M.-1T. rhyme.
Spending dibs on defence we had better avoid.
And give ’em instead to the pore Unemployed.
[ M. - IT. political economy.
Between you and me and the Post! (Chorus.)
This style of perlitical singing ain’t hard,
Between you and me and the Post!
As a “ Mammoth Comique ” on the bills I am starred,
And., so long as I’m called, and angcored, and hurrar’d,
I can rattle off rubbish like this by the yard,
Between you and me and the Post!
[ Chorus, and dance off to sing the same Song—with or without
alterations—in another place.
A Happy Return.—Welcome back to town, The Don, not Don
Toole of Tooledo, but our Lon-Don Toole,—at his own Theatre on
Easter Monday. Many happy “ returns ” to him on that and every
other day.
VOL. XCVI.
Mr. Fred Thorne between Tragedy and Comedy at
the Vaudeville.
PLAY-TIME.
Two Italian Operas in London next season. “De deux ‘shows,’
—une,”—as a rule ; we wish success to both. Augustus Aquarius
Blanch ardius,—he will take these titles if he has anything to do
with the Aqua-
rium offishially,
and with Blanch-
ard’s (not Panto-
mime Blanch-
ard) Restaurant,
—Druriolanus,
CoUNTI-CoUNCIL -
larius, leads the
way at Covent
Garden ; and in
July, when Mac-
beth has been slain
for the last time,
M. Mayer, the
indefatigable im-
presario of the
French Company
at the Royalty
Theatre, is to pro-
duce Yerdi’s Otello at the Lyceum, with two hundred orchestra and
chorus, all alive 0 ! from La Scala. M. Victor Maurel is to be the
immaurel Iago. As any impresario should have a strong back to
carry all this on his shoulders, we hope Mr. Mayer is strongly
backed, as it is “ Money makes the Mayer to go.”
MR. PUNCH'S MODEL MUSIC-HALL SONGS.
No. II.—The Topical-Political.
In most respects, no doubt, the present example can boast no
superiority to ditties in the same style now commanding the ear
of the Public. One merit, however, its author does claim for it.
Though it deals with most of the burning questions of the hour, it
can be sung anywhere with absolute security. This is due to a
simple but ingenious method by which the political sentiment has
been arranged on the reversible principle. A little alteration here
and there will put the singer in close touch with an audience of almost
any shade of politics. Should it happen that the title has been
already anticipated, Mr. Punch begs to explain that the remainder
of this sparkling composition is entirely original; any similarity with
previous works must be put down entirely to “ literary coincidence.”
Whether the title is new or not, it is a very nice one, viz :—
BETWEEN YOU AND ME—AND THE POST!
(To be sung in a raucous voice, and with a confidential air.)
I ’ve dropped in to whisper some secrets I ’ve heard.
Between you and me and the Post!
Picked up on the wing by a ’cute little bird.
We are gentlemen ’ere—so the caution’s absurd,
Still, you ’ll please to remember that every word
Is between you and me and the Post!
Chorus (to which the Singer should dance).
Between you and me and the Post! An ’int is sufficient at most.
I ’d very much rarther this didn’t go farther, than ’tween you and
me and the Post!
At Lord Sorlsbury’s table there’s sech a to-do.
Between you and me and the Post!
When he first ketches sight of his dinner menoo,
And sees he’s set down to good old Irish stoo—
Which he’s sick of by this time—now, tell me, ain’t you ?
Between you and me and the Post!
(This happy and pointed allusion to the Irish Question is sure to
provoke loud laughter from an audience of Radical sympathies.
For Unionists, the words “Lord Sorlsbury’s” can be altered
by our patent reversible method into “ the G. 0. M.’s,” without
at all impairing the satire.) Chorus, as before.
The G. 0. M.’s hiding a card up his sleeve.
Between you and me and the Post!
Any ground he has lost he is going to retrieve,
And what his little game is, he ’ll let us perceive,
And he ’ll pip the whole lot of ’em, so I believe,
Between you and me and the Post! (Chorus.)
(The hit will be made quite as palpably for the other side by substitu-
ting “ Lord Sorlsbury’s,” fyc., at the beginning of the first line,
should the majority of the audience be found to hold Conservative
views.)
Balfour isn’t touched by a patriot’s woes.
Between you and me and the Post!
The ’ero O’Brien in prison he throws.
But the martyr sits there with his thumb to his nose,
For he’s got back the principal part of his close,
\M.-H. rhyme for “ clothes.”
Between you and me and the Post! (Chorus.)
(This verse will need no alteration, being delicately adjusted to either
extreme. A pause should always be allowed after every proper
name for cheers, hisses, and counter-cheers.
Little Randolph won’t long be left out in the cold.
Between you and me and the Post!
If they ’ll let him inside the Conservative fold,
He has promised no longer he ’ll swagger and scold,
But to be a good boy, and to do as he’s told,
Between you and me and the Post! (Chorus.)
(The mere mention of Lord Randolph’s name is sufficient to ensure
the success of any song.)
Joey Chamberlain’s orchid’s a bit overblown,
Between you and me and the Post!
(This is rather subtle, perhaps, but an M.-H. audience will see a joke
in it somewhere, and laugh.)
’Ow to square a Round Table I’m sure he has shown.
(Same observation applies here.)
But of late he ’s been leaving his old friends alone,
And I fancy he’s grinding an axe of his own,
Between you and me and the Post! (Chorus.)
(We now pass on to Topics of the Day, which we treat in a light but
trenchant fashion.)
Boulanger to Brussels has jest done a guy :
Between you and me and the Post!
And all his supporters are wondering why.
But Boulanger ’s as artful a bird as he’s shy—
I’ve a notion he ’ll turn up agen by and by,
Between you and me and the Post! (Chorus.)
From some letters I’ve read I am getting to doubt,
Between you and me ana the Post!
Whether Chivalry isn’t a fashion gone out;
For they say with the Ladies each man is a lout.
But I don’t think they know what they ’re torking about,
Between you and me and the Post! (Chorus.)
Any drink on a Sunday will soon be denied,
Between you and me and the Post!
Unless you are out on a walk or a ride.
But I year there ’s a method of getting supplied,
If you just tell the barman it’s all “ bona fide”—
Between you and me and the Post! (Chorus.)
On the noo County Councils they’ve too many nobs,
Between you and me and the Post !
For the Swells stick together, and sneer at the mobs ;
And it’s always the rich man the poor one who robs.
We shall ’ave the old business—all jabber and jobs !
Between you and me and the Post! (Chorus.)
There ’s a new rule for ladies presented at Court,
Between you and me and the Post!
High necks are allowed, so no colds will be cort.
But I went to the Droring-Room lately, and thort
Some old wimmen had dressed quite as low as they ort!
Between you and me and the Post! (Chorus.)
By fussy Alarmists we ’re too much annoyed,
Between you and me and the Post!
If we don’t want our neighbours to think we ’re afroid,
\_M.-1T. rhyme.
Spending dibs on defence we had better avoid.
And give ’em instead to the pore Unemployed.
[ M. - IT. political economy.
Between you and me and the Post! (Chorus.)
This style of perlitical singing ain’t hard,
Between you and me and the Post!
As a “ Mammoth Comique ” on the bills I am starred,
And., so long as I’m called, and angcored, and hurrar’d,
I can rattle off rubbish like this by the yard,
Between you and me and the Post!
[ Chorus, and dance off to sing the same Song—with or without
alterations—in another place.
A Happy Return.—Welcome back to town, The Don, not Don
Toole of Tooledo, but our Lon-Don Toole,—at his own Theatre on
Easter Monday. Many happy “ returns ” to him on that and every
other day.
VOL. XCVI.
Mr. Fred Thorne between Tragedy and Comedy at
the Vaudeville.