DOI Heft:
June 29, 1889
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17687#0317
June 29, 1889.]
PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
309
tm
ON:
House of Commons, Monday, June 17.—Anticipation of quiet time
after holiday abruptly broken in upon. Something' less than a hundred
Members present, when at Half-past Three Speaker called on Questions.
Old Morality in his place, looking round with nervous smile; Chaplin
looming large in corner seat below Gangway.
“Sat here and hereabouts, hoy and man, for twenty years,” he said,
breathing gently on his eye-glass, and meditatively polishing it with
cambric handkerchief. “What wisdom I have distilled! what eloquence
flashed forth! what pointed irony ! and what withering scorn! Twenty
years a considerable slice out of an ordinary man’s life. Not speaking
course. Twenty years, more or less, nothing to him. On the whole, a
pleasant time, profitably employed, not only for contemporaries, hut for posterity. Now,
changes imminent; new office created; corner seat will know my face no more ; a Minister
of Agriculture added to the ranks of British Statesmen, and the Treasury Bench gladdened
by my presence. Must make the most of opportunities. Shall he pretty regular in atten-
dance below Gangway till Board of Agriculture Bill passes.”
Chaplin musing thus; Old Morality viewing Opposition; Speaker looking down list
of Questions ; when swift rustling heard behind Chair, and lithesome figure presses forward.
A cheer goes up from the Opposition side, and Grand Old Man, who everybody thought was
at least no nearer home than Dorset, takes his seat.
“Ruddier than a cheery, too,” said Pltjnket, watching him as he skipped along.
“ Don’t wish him any harm, but really thought that after campaigning in the West through
the holidays he’d be a little fagged; like to go home and rest; instead of which he seems
fresher than ever.”
“ Yes,” sighed Arthur Baleour ; “ to he eighty years young is sometimes more cheerful
and hopeful than to be forty years old.”
Presently pounced on Old Morality, who had, without making a speech, moved Resolu-
tion to take over Tuesdays for public business. Hair literally bristled with indignation;
voice shook with emotion. Was it possible that the Leader of the House, having such an
opportunity to make a speech, should pass it by ? Old Morality, almost frightened out
of his life, tremblingly explained, that he really had meant to speak, but had proposed to
defer it till a later stage, when he might answer questions. G. 0. M. only half mollified.
Old Morality hastily put in his statement.
Most Bills given up, including Sugar Convention. Great thing, ultimate aspiration of
Ministers, was to wind up quickly and get off early for autumn holidays. House cheered
this prospect. Adroit move ; seemed to have carried everything before it: when Sage of
Queen Anne’s Gate interposed, and with admirable gravity charged Old Morality with
systematically aggressive conduct; _ hoped there would, be an improvement in this respect.
Old Morality, at first thought this was a joke, and smiled his genial smile. But no
VOL. xcvi.
D D
PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
309
tm
ON:
House of Commons, Monday, June 17.—Anticipation of quiet time
after holiday abruptly broken in upon. Something' less than a hundred
Members present, when at Half-past Three Speaker called on Questions.
Old Morality in his place, looking round with nervous smile; Chaplin
looming large in corner seat below Gangway.
“Sat here and hereabouts, hoy and man, for twenty years,” he said,
breathing gently on his eye-glass, and meditatively polishing it with
cambric handkerchief. “What wisdom I have distilled! what eloquence
flashed forth! what pointed irony ! and what withering scorn! Twenty
years a considerable slice out of an ordinary man’s life. Not speaking
course. Twenty years, more or less, nothing to him. On the whole, a
pleasant time, profitably employed, not only for contemporaries, hut for posterity. Now,
changes imminent; new office created; corner seat will know my face no more ; a Minister
of Agriculture added to the ranks of British Statesmen, and the Treasury Bench gladdened
by my presence. Must make the most of opportunities. Shall he pretty regular in atten-
dance below Gangway till Board of Agriculture Bill passes.”
Chaplin musing thus; Old Morality viewing Opposition; Speaker looking down list
of Questions ; when swift rustling heard behind Chair, and lithesome figure presses forward.
A cheer goes up from the Opposition side, and Grand Old Man, who everybody thought was
at least no nearer home than Dorset, takes his seat.
“Ruddier than a cheery, too,” said Pltjnket, watching him as he skipped along.
“ Don’t wish him any harm, but really thought that after campaigning in the West through
the holidays he’d be a little fagged; like to go home and rest; instead of which he seems
fresher than ever.”
“ Yes,” sighed Arthur Baleour ; “ to he eighty years young is sometimes more cheerful
and hopeful than to be forty years old.”
Presently pounced on Old Morality, who had, without making a speech, moved Resolu-
tion to take over Tuesdays for public business. Hair literally bristled with indignation;
voice shook with emotion. Was it possible that the Leader of the House, having such an
opportunity to make a speech, should pass it by ? Old Morality, almost frightened out
of his life, tremblingly explained, that he really had meant to speak, but had proposed to
defer it till a later stage, when he might answer questions. G. 0. M. only half mollified.
Old Morality hastily put in his statement.
Most Bills given up, including Sugar Convention. Great thing, ultimate aspiration of
Ministers, was to wind up quickly and get off early for autumn holidays. House cheered
this prospect. Adroit move ; seemed to have carried everything before it: when Sage of
Queen Anne’s Gate interposed, and with admirable gravity charged Old Morality with
systematically aggressive conduct; _ hoped there would, be an improvement in this respect.
Old Morality, at first thought this was a joke, and smiled his genial smile. But no
VOL. xcvi.
D D