DOI Heft:
January 19, 1889
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17687#0035
January 19, 1889.1
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
25
Mr. Punch (log.). “Now, my fine Fellows, this is how I should like t<
YOU, ARMED, HUNTING IN THREES ; YOU ’LL BE EVEN WITH THE RASCALS, AND
A TASTE OF THIS WILL FINISH THE SCARE AS IT DID GARROTTING.”
The Burglar burgles on, and critics solemn I First catch your burglar—Monro’s busi-
Expatiate on his doings by the column ; ness that— [dog the cat—
Meanwhile the brute gives sleeping law j And, when you’ve caught nim, give the
the slip. i That’s Mr. Punch'1 s tip!
A PROSPECT OF PEACE!
At a meeting of the forces under the command
of General Booth, lately held in St. James’s Hall,
Dr. Clifford, President of the Baptist Associa-
tion, desired to “express his sympathy with the
new departure which the Salvation Army had
taken.” The majority of respectable people would
certainly share in that sympathy if the new de-
parture of the Salvation Army were a departure
altogether, singing
“ Never come back no more, boys;
Never come back no more.
¥e ’re going away.
Away we will stay,
And never come back no more ! ”
Oh, that would be, indeed joyful, my dear
brethren, and our Sundays in London and elsewhere
would be tranquil, undisturbed by the belaboured
drum, the tinkling cymbals—an objectionable form
of ‘ ‘ religious symbolism”—and the noisy brass of Ge-
neral Booth and all the Salvationist lads and lasses.
“Poor Richard! Mr. Richard Mansfield,
who has been Dr. Jekyll, and Mr. Hyde, and
Prince Karl, is now, by Sir Morell Mackenzie’s
orders, going to give the public and himself a rest.
Both Mr. Mansfield and the Public should be
grateful to the eminent Doctor, and we trust that
soon “Richard” will be “himself again”—not
Jekyll, or Hyde, or Karl, when, as he announces,
he will essay the light and airy part of Richard
the Third. Richard playing Richard. Why
doesn’t he double-gloster the part with that of
Richmond ? Hyde and Jekyll would be nothing
to this tour de force. “ Perhaps I have it in my
eye,” says Dick, “ Dixi /”
Echo’s Answer.—“ Does anybody ask what the
Republic has done for France ? ” inquires the St.
James's Gazette. Well, according to some, the
answer would be a simple one—Echo's answer,
in fact; viz., ‘ ‘ The Republic has done for France ”
—completely.
THE TURBOT’S DIARY.
Off the North British Coast.—Well this is jolly. Here we are,
hundreds of us, floundering away in shoals. Worth, I should think,
about a penny a dozen. Talk about there being “as many good
fish in the sea as ever came out of it”! Nonsense. The proverb
ought to be altered. There are a good many more. Halloa!
though,—what’s this ? Blest if it isn’t a net, and what’s more I’m
in it. By Jove, it’s a case. I’m caught.
On a Local Wheelbarrow.—Two or three score of us flung back
into the sea again, just to keep up the price. A downright shame I
call it. However, they want two shillings for me here, and as no
one will give it (and quite right too), I’m packed off to London.
At Billingsgate.—Find I’ve got hopelessly into the “ Ring.” No
chance of being sold at my real price, which, including railway
charges, would even now be only about twopence a pound, but I’ve
been consigned to a leading West-end fishmonger by an enterprising
middleman, and goodness only knows what price they won’t stick on
me now. Wish I could open my mouth! Wouldn’t I let ’em know
what they reaUy ought to pay for me.
On a Fishmonger's Slab in a Leading West-End Thoroughfare.—
Here I p displayed along with some lobsters for which they are
asking five shillings apiece—and which, I ’U be bound didn’t cost
sevenpence ! As for the price they’ve put on me, it’s monstrous.
If cut up, I’m to go for one and sixpence a pound, yet if
they were to get rid of me at twopence-halfpenny they would still
make a good profit. As to those red mullets at two shillings and
sixpence apiece, and those oysters at four shillings a dozen, I wonder
they ’re not ashamed to be seen in the place; but I suppose, poor
beggars, like me, they^can’t help themselves. Oh ! if I could only
speak!
On a Table in Mayfair.- Over at last! Dished up whole at a
fashionable dinner-party of eighteen. Appear to have given satis-
faction. But, what a swindle! Overheard the Cook say that the
Fishmonger had priced me at one pound five! and my real price
ought to have been one and ninepence. Downright robbery ; that’s
what it is! Why don’t the public take it up ? But, there—I’m
only a poor fish, and with the best will in the world—I can’t help it!
OUR BOOKING-OEEICE.
The Toilers of Babylon. This, as an unsensational novel, is
among the best, if not quite the best of Mr. Fabjeon’s books up to
now. The characters are original, the plot well-constructed and
worked out, and there are no pages of dialogue that the accom-
plished novel-reader knows at a glance can be skipped without losing
a single essential point. No skipper need take this in hand. It
is interesting, and sufficiently absorbing without being unhealthily
exciting. Tne dialogue is throughout easy, but never commonplace;
the humour is unforced, and the pathos natural. The influence of
Dickens, the master, may be always seen in the work of one of his
most apt disciples, and it is most happily evident when Mr. Far jeon
does not labour, as he has done in the lighter chapters of some of
his other novels, to be Dickensianly funny, but is spontaneously and
quietly humorous. I strongly recommend it.
My faithful Co. has been spending a part of his vacation in reading
The Fairy History of England, a companion volume to the Fairy
Geography, published some time ago. He reports that he has been
greatly entertained by the light touch of the author, and has, with
the latter’s aid, quite “rubbed up his knowledge.” He says that,
after reading this unconventional account of the darker pages of
Britannia’s biography, he has felt himself in a position to hold his
own in the company of his children, even when they begin discussing
the invasion of Julius Cjesar and the Battle of Hastings. Both
events are recorded in a style that does not lack either humour or
instructiveness. So far, the Fairy History extends only to the
Plantagenets, but he lives in hopes of seeing several other volumes
in the near future. Baron de Book Worms & Co.
Stars and Spangles.—Yankee Hamlet and Company protest
against the invasion of foreign Star Companies. Yery natural, their
country is sufficiently “ star-spangled” already.
Protection Wanted in Staffordshire.—German measles have
come over, and are doing double the work that English measles can
undertake in less time and at half the price.
VOL. xcvi.
D
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
25
Mr. Punch (log.). “Now, my fine Fellows, this is how I should like t<
YOU, ARMED, HUNTING IN THREES ; YOU ’LL BE EVEN WITH THE RASCALS, AND
A TASTE OF THIS WILL FINISH THE SCARE AS IT DID GARROTTING.”
The Burglar burgles on, and critics solemn I First catch your burglar—Monro’s busi-
Expatiate on his doings by the column ; ness that— [dog the cat—
Meanwhile the brute gives sleeping law j And, when you’ve caught nim, give the
the slip. i That’s Mr. Punch'1 s tip!
A PROSPECT OF PEACE!
At a meeting of the forces under the command
of General Booth, lately held in St. James’s Hall,
Dr. Clifford, President of the Baptist Associa-
tion, desired to “express his sympathy with the
new departure which the Salvation Army had
taken.” The majority of respectable people would
certainly share in that sympathy if the new de-
parture of the Salvation Army were a departure
altogether, singing
“ Never come back no more, boys;
Never come back no more.
¥e ’re going away.
Away we will stay,
And never come back no more ! ”
Oh, that would be, indeed joyful, my dear
brethren, and our Sundays in London and elsewhere
would be tranquil, undisturbed by the belaboured
drum, the tinkling cymbals—an objectionable form
of ‘ ‘ religious symbolism”—and the noisy brass of Ge-
neral Booth and all the Salvationist lads and lasses.
“Poor Richard! Mr. Richard Mansfield,
who has been Dr. Jekyll, and Mr. Hyde, and
Prince Karl, is now, by Sir Morell Mackenzie’s
orders, going to give the public and himself a rest.
Both Mr. Mansfield and the Public should be
grateful to the eminent Doctor, and we trust that
soon “Richard” will be “himself again”—not
Jekyll, or Hyde, or Karl, when, as he announces,
he will essay the light and airy part of Richard
the Third. Richard playing Richard. Why
doesn’t he double-gloster the part with that of
Richmond ? Hyde and Jekyll would be nothing
to this tour de force. “ Perhaps I have it in my
eye,” says Dick, “ Dixi /”
Echo’s Answer.—“ Does anybody ask what the
Republic has done for France ? ” inquires the St.
James's Gazette. Well, according to some, the
answer would be a simple one—Echo's answer,
in fact; viz., ‘ ‘ The Republic has done for France ”
—completely.
THE TURBOT’S DIARY.
Off the North British Coast.—Well this is jolly. Here we are,
hundreds of us, floundering away in shoals. Worth, I should think,
about a penny a dozen. Talk about there being “as many good
fish in the sea as ever came out of it”! Nonsense. The proverb
ought to be altered. There are a good many more. Halloa!
though,—what’s this ? Blest if it isn’t a net, and what’s more I’m
in it. By Jove, it’s a case. I’m caught.
On a Local Wheelbarrow.—Two or three score of us flung back
into the sea again, just to keep up the price. A downright shame I
call it. However, they want two shillings for me here, and as no
one will give it (and quite right too), I’m packed off to London.
At Billingsgate.—Find I’ve got hopelessly into the “ Ring.” No
chance of being sold at my real price, which, including railway
charges, would even now be only about twopence a pound, but I’ve
been consigned to a leading West-end fishmonger by an enterprising
middleman, and goodness only knows what price they won’t stick on
me now. Wish I could open my mouth! Wouldn’t I let ’em know
what they reaUy ought to pay for me.
On a Fishmonger's Slab in a Leading West-End Thoroughfare.—
Here I p displayed along with some lobsters for which they are
asking five shillings apiece—and which, I ’U be bound didn’t cost
sevenpence ! As for the price they’ve put on me, it’s monstrous.
If cut up, I’m to go for one and sixpence a pound, yet if
they were to get rid of me at twopence-halfpenny they would still
make a good profit. As to those red mullets at two shillings and
sixpence apiece, and those oysters at four shillings a dozen, I wonder
they ’re not ashamed to be seen in the place; but I suppose, poor
beggars, like me, they^can’t help themselves. Oh ! if I could only
speak!
On a Table in Mayfair.- Over at last! Dished up whole at a
fashionable dinner-party of eighteen. Appear to have given satis-
faction. But, what a swindle! Overheard the Cook say that the
Fishmonger had priced me at one pound five! and my real price
ought to have been one and ninepence. Downright robbery ; that’s
what it is! Why don’t the public take it up ? But, there—I’m
only a poor fish, and with the best will in the world—I can’t help it!
OUR BOOKING-OEEICE.
The Toilers of Babylon. This, as an unsensational novel, is
among the best, if not quite the best of Mr. Fabjeon’s books up to
now. The characters are original, the plot well-constructed and
worked out, and there are no pages of dialogue that the accom-
plished novel-reader knows at a glance can be skipped without losing
a single essential point. No skipper need take this in hand. It
is interesting, and sufficiently absorbing without being unhealthily
exciting. Tne dialogue is throughout easy, but never commonplace;
the humour is unforced, and the pathos natural. The influence of
Dickens, the master, may be always seen in the work of one of his
most apt disciples, and it is most happily evident when Mr. Far jeon
does not labour, as he has done in the lighter chapters of some of
his other novels, to be Dickensianly funny, but is spontaneously and
quietly humorous. I strongly recommend it.
My faithful Co. has been spending a part of his vacation in reading
The Fairy History of England, a companion volume to the Fairy
Geography, published some time ago. He reports that he has been
greatly entertained by the light touch of the author, and has, with
the latter’s aid, quite “rubbed up his knowledge.” He says that,
after reading this unconventional account of the darker pages of
Britannia’s biography, he has felt himself in a position to hold his
own in the company of his children, even when they begin discussing
the invasion of Julius Cjesar and the Battle of Hastings. Both
events are recorded in a style that does not lack either humour or
instructiveness. So far, the Fairy History extends only to the
Plantagenets, but he lives in hopes of seeing several other volumes
in the near future. Baron de Book Worms & Co.
Stars and Spangles.—Yankee Hamlet and Company protest
against the invasion of foreign Star Companies. Yery natural, their
country is sufficiently “ star-spangled” already.
Protection Wanted in Staffordshire.—German measles have
come over, and are doing double the work that English measles can
undertake in less time and at half the price.
VOL. xcvi.
D